Ch. 1 - and it hurts
PLEASE REVIEW AFTER READING!
Written in graffiti on a bridge in a park
'Do you ever get the feeling that you're missing the mark?'
It's so cold it's so cold
It's so cold it's so cold
Written up in marker on a factory sign
'I struggle with the feeling that my life isn't mine'
Rei stared out the window, gazing longingly at the disappearing green fields and occasional flying laundry as they whipped past her view. Rei could almost swear that the train was moving faster than it was supposed to, just so that she didn't have the chance to say a proper mental goodbye. Tilting her head up, she noticed that the morning skies were overcast; the big masses of clouds were varying shades of steely dark gray.
She almost snorted out loud. The skies are just like me right now. Dark and moody and cold.
Had it been a normal trip, Rei would have been unbelievably excited to be sitting in such luxurious seats. She had always imagined herself returning home with fantastic stories of visiting the city and the speedy train ride. The views, the food, the smells, the people, and just everything. Maybe they'd even have a circus with jumping fleas. Or a ride to the moon and back. She used to spend hours just imagining.
But, instead, here she was. The one time she got to ride the Shinkansen, was the time that she was leaving home. Oh, the irony.
A slight gush from the air conditioning made her look up and twitch her nose in displeasure. The air from the vent opening ruffled past her long, sleek ponytail and pink chiffon blouse. Shivers ran down her legs, clad in a skirt that ended above her knees and entirely exposed her shins. Rei glanced over at the seat next to her, where her duffel and snow-colored down coat sat, folded neatly and placed right in the middle. She reached over, but hesitated. It was too cold to not wear it, but it would be much too hot to wear it right now…
Rei sighed. Yes, it was summer, but what was it with city people and turning on the air conditioning so that it felt like winter inside the train? She ultimately stretched to grab her coat, opening it up a bit and draping it over herself. There.
The greenery and linens that had accompanied the beginning of her trip slowly disappeared, now becoming buildings and apartment complexes that sparkled in the incoming rays of sunlight. Rei shot a reproachful glare at the brightening sky. At its divergence from her bleak mood, she pursed her lips and then brought her eyes down to her watch.
As she squinted enough to see the minute and hour hands both strike "XII" through the crack in the watch's glass, Rei ran an accustomed finger over the worn leather strap of the wristwatch, tracing each tattered seam and hole. She remembered her friends asking why she still kept a barely-usable analog watch. Yes, it was old, and battered. But there were so many memories… And the moment when she had received it was still fresh in her mind, like it was just yesterday…
A bright flash of white exploded behind Rei's eyelids, and she sleepily cracked open one eye to see her mother next to the window adorned with princess-themed curtains. Which happened to now be wide open and filled with sunlight. "Rei-chan! Time to wake up!" her mother said with that subtly singsong lilt in her voice. It was a voice that made Rei smile all the time. Her mother's voice reminded Rei of spring, of bluebirds and morning glories and grass rain—a truly beautiful voice.
…Not that it changed the fact that she had gotten woken up far too early today, of all days.
"Mama," Rei whined grumpily. "It's Christmas; we don't have school."
"Exactly because it's Christmas, we all have to get up. We've got a big day ahead of us, sweetie."
Still grumbling, Rei swung her legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes with two small fists. "Is Papa up too?"
"No, not yet. Why don't we go wake him up together?" Rei shot out of the room. Seeing her daughter bound down the stairs by two (the oversized nightgown alternating between dragging and puffing up like a parachute), in excitement of getting to wake up her father for once, Yuuko chuckled affectionately and followed leisurely behind.
"PAPA!" Rei burst into her parents' bedroom and leapt onto the bed next to the lump that she presumed to be her father. "Wake up, wake up, wake up! It's Christmas!" She attempted to copy her mother's singsong voice, though the end result was far from satisfactory.
Her father laughed from beneath the covers at his daughter's antics. "Okay, okay, okay. I'm up, I'm up. See?" He poked his arms out and began tickling Rei's sides. She shrieked and giggled loudly, her laughs echoing throughout the high-ceiling room. She raised her tiny hands in an attempt to signal her defeat, but Kazuo continued the tickle attack, until his wife stepped in.
"All right, you two. I think that's quite enough banshee noise for the neighbors this morning," she pretended to scold her husband and daughter from the doorway. Kazuo grinned cheekily at her, but set Rei back down on the bed. She clambered down and ran back to her mother; Yuuko patted her hair lightly. Rei beamed.
Kazuo stretched and sat up in bed, running a hand through his bed hair. An accessory on his arm made Rei recall something and her eyes lit up. "Hey, Papa, Mama…" Her parents both looked at her.
"Yes?" They asked together.
"…do you remember what I had asked for this Christmas?" Rei's eyes sparkled hopefully, her gaze darting back and forth between her mother and father.
The two of them exchanged glances, and then looked back to their daughter. Kazuo spoke first. "Gomen, Rei. We forgot about it."
"Sorry, Rei-chan. Forgive us?" Her mother gave a guilty face, and though disappointed, Rei couldn't bring herself to get angry with her parents.
"It's okay," she faked a smile. "I didn't need it anyways."
Head sagging downwards, she turned to go back to her room and get prepared for the day's activities. But her mother put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her. "Wait a second, sweetie." Yuuko said.
Kazuo added on, "Turn around, Rei."
She hesitantly turned back towards her parents. They were grinning mischievously, and Rei felt an odd sense of wariness now. "What…?"
Kazuo took something from under his pillow and placed in his palm and said, "Heads up, honey." With that, he tossed the object to his daughter. She caught it with both of her hands and examined it. Across the top of a small box was the words NIJIMURA; Rei immediately grew excited, ripping off the ribbon and wrapping paper.
And there it was. Inside a shiny glass case, there was a single analog watch with silver Roman numerals inscribed on the face and a light-brown leather strap. Rei bounced up and down in place, unable to put her happiness into words. She squeezed her mother's leg and leapt back onto the bed; she lunged to embrace her father as well. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mama, Papa! You remembered after all!"
They laughed. "Of course we did," her mother said. "Do you realize how many times you begged us for a 'grown-up' watch?"
Rei flushed slightly, but her ear-to-ear smile didn't falter at all even from her mother's teasing remark. She clambered off the bed and trotted over back to Yuuko, hugging her again to show her gratitude.
Her father got out of bed and walked over to the both of them, putting an arm around his wife's waist and a hand on his daughter's hair, ruffling it gently. His wife and he exchanged looks, and then both gazed down upon Rei (who was admiring her new watch now on her wrist) warmly. "Merry Christmas, Rei," Kazuo murmured.
"We love you," Yuuko whispered fondly, in her lilting, lovely voice. The voice that reminded Rei of flowers and sunshine and spring and pure, pure happiness.
We love you…
Rei woke up with a jolt and looked in alarm around her, eyes stretched wide. Mama? Papa? But she took in her surroundings; outside, the buildings and tracks continued to whip past mercilessly, and she realized that she was still on the Shinkansen. Rei's eyelids drooped and she fell back in her seat with a defeated sigh. Of course they're not here. Unconsciously, her hands clenched into fists as her entire being fought the rising heat which was burning up her throat, her nose, her eyes.
The usual monotonous voice of the rail systems rang through the train, but she didn't register it.
Instead, she could only feel the heat burning and burning within her, twisting and gnarly and painful. It was the kind of thing that you could feel clawing at your insides, and not be able to describe, like a glass wall inside of yourself. You might sense it, touch it, maybe even see it. But you'd never ever be able to name the monster eating you from inside-out. There were no words. It just hurt, hurt, hurt.
For the love of God, Rei thought, it hurts, Mama, Papa…
"Miss? Are you okay?"
A/N: I don't own Prince of Tennis by Konomi-sensei or "Hurts like Heaven" by Coldplay (lyrics).
PLEASE REVIEW! I'm working with a new style of writing, so I'm looking for A. reviews, B. one/two beta readers, and C. someone to help me sketch my characters out because my art skill is close to -100.
