***warning, this fanfiction contains spoilers for both Inuyasha and Death Note. You have been warned***
I was reading some Death Note-Inuyasha crossovers and this spawned. Expect about ten chapters. I decided to write something that wasn't super long so I'd actually finish it. The idea of a Kagome X L pairing had never occurred to me before, but now that it has, I'm excited! I can't wait to get started! Oh, yeah. I should probably tell you that this might not have a happy ending, because if it pans out properly, I'll get to write a sequel. My goal is to make your cry – I will probably fail miserably. This is an emotional roller coaster, or at least, that's what I'm aiming for.
Note** what Inuyasha stuff I know is from the manga. I read it. All of it, and it's been a while so I've forgotten a lot of things, but I know what I need to to write this. No worries. ^.^' Concerning Death Note, I know more than any sane person should. I'm a fangirl to the core...BEWARE!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Death Note, but I am a huge fan of both, especially L. And Sesshy. But mostly L. I looooooove L.
Beyond the Glass of Reality
"The loss of a friend is like that of a limb; time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired."
-Southey.
***
"So where should I start?" Kagome asked, eying the stack of notes compiled before her. She was sitting in her apartment, the littered surface of her desk glaring her in the face, as if in challenge. She was sitting stiffly in a straight backed, wooden chair in nothing but her plaid pajamas. Her friend, Yuri, leaned over Kagome as their shadows casted blackly over the white walls behind them. The desk lamp gleamed against the contents of the room, tinting them with yellow. Kagome squinted as her eyes itched. Whether it be fatigue or irritation from the light, the urge to rub them was still distracting. She sighed tiredly.
"Start here, in Section A, then skip to Section C. Come back to B when you're done. It's faster that way, and it makes more sense. I don't know what those fools were thinking when they wrote that text book," Yuri was saying.
Kagome nodded and squinted at the words at the top of one of the notebook pages. It read: "Trigonometric Ratios" in Yuri's neat handwriting. Kagome then glanced over to her own notes and winced at her scrawling letters and numbers. They were wild and all over the place, much like a certain red-cloaked hanyou she used to know...
Stop it, Kagome snapped inwardly. Can't you go one hour without thinking about that? She couldn't. Four and a half years away from the feudal era had taught her that. She had tried countless times to go back, to leap through the well and into the world she loved, but the well no longer activated for her passage. It remained a simple well, dry and rotting. One day, it might cease to exist altogether. Kagome grimaced at the thought. Beyond the well lay her heart, and Inuyasha, her heart's keeper. She would never stop trying to return.
"Kagome, is something wrong?" Yuri interrupted her thoughts. "I know it's hard, but..."
Kagome glanced up and blinked at Yuri, who was staring at her with eyes filled to the brim with genuine concern. Thinking of Sango, she smiled warmly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, thanks for coming over to help me. I know how busy you are nowadays."
"No problem," Yuri shrugged the gratitude aside. "I always felt bad for not helping you out more in high school when you were sick so much. Thinking of it now, I feel terrible. You really had to struggle and fight to keep your grades at passing levels. I wasn't a good friend back then, so I want to make up for it now."
Kagome almost gaped at Yuri. She wanted to help... "Thank you, Yuri," Kagome whispered. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you care so much." She felt her eyes watering and had to fight the tears that were threatening to rain from her eyes. Kagome was so used to helping people that when help was offered to her in kind, she was always surprised and touched by it. After all, she understood the value of a kind act more than anyone.
"Aw, Kagome. You don't realize how amazing you are sometimes, never stepping back when others are in need. You always rush in head first. It's a crazy, but admirable trait. I wish I was more like you. If I was, then you might be in a better situation now."
Kagome blinked. Her eyes cleared. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Yuri stammered and blushed, "I-I can see how much you're struggling now. It's all because you were absent so much in high school. Your grades were less than average and you didn't get the scholarships that would have payed for your college classes. Now you work two jobs, attend classes, and are always stressing over things. You don't have a boyfriend, or a hobby, or many friends. All you've really got is me and Souta, but he never visits anymore because of how busy he is. I feel partially responsible.."
Kagome stared awestruck at her friend. How long had Yuri been feeling this way? Suddenly bedraggled, Kagome piped up, "Yuri, you've been a great friend to me, and you don't owe me anything! Everything that has happened to me is weight on my shoulders, not yours. It's my fault that I'm like this!"
With a horrified expression, Yuri gaped at Kagome, "You don't think...that you're responsible for your mother's and your grandfather's deaths...do you?"
"No! That was an accident!" Kagome declared hastily. "I'm responsible for everything else that's happened."
Yuri sighed with relief and plopped down in her own chair. She put her elbows on her legs, while leaning forward, and propped her head in her hands. As she looked in the the lamplight, Yuri said, "You're so unselfish, Kagome."
Kagome frowned at this announcement, and would have denied it vehemently if anyone but her best friend had said it. Instead, she hissed softly, "No."
"No?" Yuri pursed her lips and asked, "Why?"
Kagome bit her lip and fiddled nervously with her number two pencil as she explained, "I was always depressed back then, because I never got what I wanted no matter how hard I tried. All I could think about were the things I wanted to have – not only the important things, but the unimportant ones, too. Those things that I never deserved are the very ones that I really wish for today, but deep down I know that I can't have them. Those feelings are in vain. Selfish. Deplorable."
Yuri sighed and sat up in her chair. She sat her hands in her lap as she turned to Kagome and said, "You're a good person, Kagome-chan."
Kagome smiled at the addition to her name, one that had been dropped between the two girls years ago, when they had become college roommates. "So are you, Yuri. Now," Kagome grinned enthusiastically, "let's finish this up before dawn, okay?"
Yuri rolled her eyes at Kagome's excited tone and leaned forward. "Okay, so this one's pretty simple..."
***
Kagome stood by her bedside window and peered through the pink drapes to stare at the world beyond the glass windowpane. There was a small, grassy courtyard separating the male and female dorms. The white moon hung in the sky like a gleaming white pearl above the monotonous buildings.
Kagome wasn't staring at the moon, however, she was staring at something further away than the world beyond her dorm room. As the full moon's light draped across the nightworld caressingly, her mind wandered to that place between awake and asleep, where dreams of her past dwelled, and as Yuri snored violently in the twin-sized bed on the other side of the room, Kagome brushed a lone tear off of her pale cheek and smiled sadly into the night.
***
(for those of you who haven't seen the DN episode Silence,
this might not make sense to you)
"Ryuuzaki, are you okay in there?" Light's voice was hushed as he asked the question, a shred of concern mixed in with his usual tone. He had rapped lightly on the detective's door before making his predetermined inquiry.
On other opposite side of the door, L lay sprawled across a blue sofa with his feet hanging off the end. On the end table next to the couch lay the Death Note. The detective was worrying his bottom lip, and his eyes were wide with a combination of fear and annoyance as he contemplated the thing's existence and what it meant for him.
His clothes were still soaked from he and Light's little adventure in the rain. They were supposed to go straight back to the main investigation room afterwards, where the investigation team would discuss the Death Note's rules and implications. L was too fidgety though. He had read the rules repeatedly, until finally he had slapped the cursed thing on the table and sprawled across the sofa to think.
He knew this day would come. Light's reactions earlier had been enough to confirm it – the question the teen had so cleverly brushed off on the roof, the creepy foot massage that Light hadn't denied himself the pleasure of. Everything about him now screamed "Kira". Why couldn't the others see it? They are compromised, L told himself, and simply not willing to accept the truth. He sighed unhappily as he heard Light growl in frustration outside of his door.
"Open this door Ryuuzaki!" Light Yagami yelled mightily.
L sat up and grimaced. It was all coming to an end for him...today. He shuddered. No, not today. It wouldn't have to be today. He had thought he was ready, but he had been lying to himself. L stood up, hunched over as usual, and made his way to the door Light so insistently pounded on. In a flash he unlocked it and opened it so that he could see the agitated teenager on the other side.
"It's about time," Light snapped, not bothering to hide his anger.
"Tomorrow," L said suddenly, and Light gave him a funny look.
"What?"
"Tomorrow," L repeated. "We'll talk about the notebook in the morning. Tell the team that....that I am conducting secret tests on it. I'll share the results with everyone come morning. 9 a.m." The detective slammed the door in his friend's face. There. He'd done it. L had stated his own time of death, or at least a time very close to it.
He heard Light sigh and the boy's footsteps echoing lightly as he walked to the elevator at the other end of the hall. L scratched his head and slumped his way back to the sofa. He sat on it in a crouch and shoved his thumb against his pale lips. Tomorrow, Light Yagami is going to kill me, L thought unhappily. Kira is going to win. No, no, no. That was not an acceptable train of thought. Better to think of it like this: Tomorrow, Kira is going to kill me, but he is not going to win, because he is evil. I am going to die, but Kira is still going to lose. Why? Because I'm going to sick my successors on him. Yes, Mello and Near are going to catch Kira.
Good for them.
L's frown deepened. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. The chains of fate would still catch up to Light in the end, and it would be L's doing, but he wouldn't be around to enjoy the spoils of victory. He wouldn't be able to stare Light Yagami in the face and say, "It looks like I win, Kira. I am justice, and you, Light Yagami,are evil."
L drew his thumb away from his mouth and stared at nothing. Light isn't just Kira, he reminded himself. He is also my only friend. I want to defeat him, to teach him a lesson, but I don't want him to die.
Indecisive, L stood up and walked to the nearest window with his hands tucked into the pockets of his baggy jeans. The window was large, covering the entire expanse of one side of the building, and came complete with a considerable view, considering the fact that it was, in fact, on the top floor of the Kira investigation headquarters.
L looked over the city, but didn't see the lights of the world below or the silvery moon hanging like a crystal ornament in the night sky. All he saw were the things he desired: happiness, freedom, contentment, and a time when things were simpler. Once he had stood there long enough, he decided that he couldn't simply watch the things he wanted anymore. He had to reach for them.
Suddenly resolved, he approached the humming laptop sitting on a glass table. He pressed a key and spoke into the mike sitting next to it.
"Watari, I'm going out."
