To save my Prince.
I stifled a yawn, I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so tired. My friend had try to warn me.
'University at your age?' She exclaimed.
'I'm not that old,' I replied.
'You'll feel every bit of your 30 odd years as you try and keep up with those youngsters.'
I hated to admit how true she was. There's a reason students are young. I wouldn't mind but I hadn't even taken in any partying. It was just the studying, concentrating hard couldn't half give you a headache. I didn't socialised much, I hadn't really made any friends. It didn't help that I was so much older. I'd always wanted to go to university but I'd never managed to when I was young. It had been such a big decision to go, but it was now or never.
I'd chosen literature to study as I'd always loved books. I suppose you can't escape it when your surname is Shakespeare. I used to hate it, but as I grew older I started to embrace it. It could mean I'm actually related to the man himself. Naturally I was drawn to my name sake's works. I went to the university's library, it was like an Aladdin's cave of wonders. I should have been looking for something else but I found myself drawn to Shakespeare again.
'I believe you share a name'' the librarian said, he had arrived pretty soundlessly considering how quiet it was.
'We do,' I said taking a book down.
'You don't want that one,' he said taking it from me and putting it back. 'There's much better to be had, follow me.'
I did, he lead me to a small musty room hidden between the shelves. You'd never have found it if you didn't know it was there. He perused the shelf, on a mission.
'Ah,' he said eventually. He took off a beautiful book. 'This is much better,' he said handing it to me. 'You make the most of this one.'
I took the book with me. It was a beautiful ornate copy of the plays, it was old but in good repair.
I sat in my small room at my tiny desk. Trying to sort out my notes from that day. The book was sitting looking at me, as if begging me to pick it up. I couldn't deny it any longer. I picked it up and headed to my favourite story, Hamlet. Just then a sudden tiredness swept over me.
I woke up in a beautiful garden, I tried to move but the clothes I was wearing were heavy and there was a lot of them, it was very strange.
'My lady Lillian,' a woman said approaching me and helping me up. Looking at her clothes they looked Elizabethan.
Surveying mine as I stood up they were similar.
'It seems like such an age since I last saw you,' the woman continued.
'I…' I stuttered confused. But just then a man joined us.
'My Lady Ophelia' he said bowing, 'my lady,' he said noticing me and bowed to me too.
'My dear Horatio this is Lady Lillian,'
'What a pleasure to meet you madam.'
My mind started whirling. Ophelia, Horatio, it couldn't be.
'How does my Lord Hamlet?' Ophelia asked.
I was, I had found myself in Hamlet!
'Not good my lady, he is full of melancholy. He has taken the death of his father very badly. It being so sudden,'
'Like the marriage of his uncle and mother.,' I said without thinking.
'Indeed Madame, he has found that equally hard.'
My mind was full of thoughts. Maybe I could save Hamlet, maybe I could save them all, I thought.
'He should return to Wittenberg,' I said. He'd be safe from all the happening back at University I thought. Then everyone could get on with their lives. Including his dodgy uncle but you can't have everything.
'Indeed Madam you and I are of one mind. Unfortunately the King and Queen have requested he stay, so our wishes are hopeless against a royal command,' he said sadly.
They'd regret that I thought to myself. I looked at poor sad Horatio he was a handsome man, I'd never thought of him like that when reading the play and he hadn't been very good looking in any productions I had seen. I suppose they didn't want him to out shine Hamlet. Laertes was usually the hot one if any. I suppose Horatio is too normal, loyal and steadfast to be seen as good looking.
'Are you to stay long madam?' He asked breaking me away from my rambling thoughts.
'I do not know,' I replied honesty.
'I have errand I must run,' Ophelia said making her excuses. 'Why do not you and Horatio take a turn around the gardens?' Ophelia said with a glint in her eye, before curtsying and leaving.
I was slightly nervous but it would be good to find out more about Hamlet's right hand man and if I did want to try and change things having Horatio on side might well help.
I spent some time with Horatio he was a lovely man. When we said our good byes I curtsied and as I did I found the book in my pocket. As I opened it I found myself back in my room standing there as if nothing had happened. The book slid from my hand and fell to the floor. Was this some weird dream or seizure? I looked in my hand, I still had the flower Horatio had picked for me. How could that be? If the flower was real then the rest of it had to be too. But how and why? Perhaps I was supposed to save them from their dreadful fates. If just once some of them could live happy ever after. I thought of good kind Horatio by the end he is the only one left standing. How does that affect the poor man, his best friend dying in his arms? I had to at least try, I hoped the book would let me in again, hopefully there wouldn't be too much time passing before I returned. I didn't want to turn up when everyone was already dead. I wondered why Ophelia thought she knew me, still it was just as well an outsider wouldn't stand a chance trying to change things in a royal court otherwise.
I managed not to return until the next morning, I was itching to but I decided I needed a good nights sleep so I was ready. When I returned I found myself in Elsinore Castle, I'm not sure the guards would be happy about someone suddenly appearing in their corridors, luckily CCTV hadn't been invented yet. I came across a very concerned looking Horatio.
'Lady Lillian,' he said with a bow on noticing me.
'My dear Horatio you seem out of sorts.'
'It is nothing madam.'
I thought back to the story. 'Is it the ghost?'
'He looked horrified. I pulled him over to a quiet corner. I had to be careful.
'I have seen the ghost of the King walking abroad at night.'
'Have you my lady?'
'He looked so grim. I can only image how it might affect the Prince if he should come across it and perhaps even talk to it.'
'Indeed.'
I knew that Hamlet swears him to secrecy so that he would not be allowed to tell me. Horatio eyed me suspiciously.
'Are you a…' he dear not say it, but I could tell what he was thinking.
'Witch?' he looked horrified as I said it, maybe I was heading for trouble if people thought I was a witch they'd wouldn't take kindly to me. I doubt Denmark was any kinder to them than anywhere else.
'I'm sorry I should not have...'
'I am not, but I know some things that cannot be explained. One thing you can be certain of is that I only wish to help the Prince. He is going through a trying time, which looks to get worse and I want to help if I can. I know it must be hard for you too. If you would like to talk to me about anything, anything you can that is, to lighten your burden I will happily listen.'
'Do you spy for Fortinbras?'
'No I promise, speak to Ophelia she can vouch for me,' I don't know how, but she can I thought.
He seemed to relax somewhat and took me up on my offer and let go of some of his woes to me. Afterwards I sent him back to find his prince as I was sure he would be wanting him. Wasn't this about to be or not to be time?
Shortly I spotted Ophelia in quite some distress, I went to her aid.
'Whatever is the matter?' I asked but I was pretty sure I could guess.
'My lord Hamlet he has said such cruel words to me. He said I should get to a nunnery so as not to breed sinners.'
'He is not himself.'
'To be sure he is not.'
'Did you tell him you loved him?'
She was silent for a moment before meekly saying, 'I gave him his letters back.'
'But why, do you not love him?'
'I do with all my life. But my father said I should. My father and brother said I should not have my head turned by him that he would use me most ill. That I am not worthy of him.'
'I do not believe that to be the case. I know the Queen would not be in the least surprised to call you daughter.'
'Where did you hear this?'
I couldn't tell her it was from her funeral. 'I can not say.'
'That is of no matter, he said he did not love me and yet he also said he did.'
'He is not well, he has a sickness of the mind. Were you being overheard?'
'Indeed we were by my father and the King.'
'Did he know?'
'I cannot tell.'
'Perhaps it was for the audience's benefit he said most of what he did. I do not think it helps him that you turn cold to him. But I am certain he loves you but I do not think he is certain in his mind of anything presently. I think he is so overwrought he does not know what he thinks and pushes you away, perhaps to protect you from his feverish mind.'
Just then we were summoned to the hall for the players. I was sitting near the back Ophelia was at the front of course where Hamlet would make lewd comments to her. I was far too aware what would happen unlike the rest of the audience. It was quite painful to watch. I was the only one, bar Hamlet and Horatio who was not surprised when the King walked out. His murderous deed put before him.
After everyone had left the hall I hung around I had to warn Polonius not to hide behind the arras I had to change things I had to save Ophelia's father. He would return after telling Hamlet his mother wanted to see him. At last he came.
'Excuse me, you are Ophelia's father are you not?'
'Indeed,' he said distracted.
'I am a friend of your daughter. I have an important message. You must not hide behind the arras in the queens chamber.'
'Where have you got this strange notion, why would I, foolish girl?' he said shaking his head and heading off again.
'Please listen to my warning, great horror will come if you do not.'
It was like talking to a brick wall. I could but hope that he would think about it and not hide behind the arras. But I wasn't hopeful.
When I later saw Hamlet pass with bloodied hands I knew that my plan had not worked. He had still killed Polonius. I had to carry out the next stage of my plan.
'Horatio I have a favour to ask,'
'Certainly madam,' he said his mind elsewhere with the latest news.
'I need to borrow some clothes.'
He looked at me with puzzlement.
'It's important ,' I said.
Polonius hadn't listened to a woman so I thought I'd be safer in drag. I lay in wait until I saw Hamlet being lead away for England.
'Your Highness,' I said with a bow that I hoped was convincing, 'I beg a word before you leave.'
'We have no time to lose,' one of the guards grumped.
'Let him have his say, I will be gone soon enough,' Hamlet said.
'I would speak with you in private my lord.'
The guards seemed unsure.
'I give my word I shall not flee,' he said and reluctantly they stood at a distance.
'What is it that you must impart?'
'Grave news my lord. Your school friends carry with them a note which calls for your head.'
He looked concerned but not overly surprised.
'It is of the Kings doing, your mother knows nothing of it. She would have stopped it if she'd have known.'
'Not content taking one life I see. I thank you kind sir for your warning.' He said before starting his journey again, eyeing his school friends with even more suspicion than before.
I knew Hamlet always learnt of that but I had to be sure.
I felt so bad I hadn't been able to change things. I went to see Ophelia, the death of her father would have left her distraught. She was sad of course but she hadn't taken it as badly as I thought, that was to change. She was still in a kind of denial, her father couldn't be dead and not at Hamlet's hand. I told her how Hamlet had posed as mad but that I believed the madness wore him and not the other way around now. That he would never had done it otherwise. I told her how it was his Uncle Claudius that had killed the King and that the play was a retelling to flush him out and that it did. After some time I left her, she would not be the same next time I saw her.
Back in my world I couldn't stop thinking about my visits. I had to try and do something. I had arranged a meeting with Doctor Barnes head of psychology.
'Thanks for seeing me,' I said as I sat down.
'How can I help?' He asked.
'I need some help, my friend is having trouble handling the death of their father, it's an unusual case,' I said and he made himself comfortable.
When I returned I found Horatio moping about the castle. No one else really had much time for him other than Hamlet so he was at a loose end. He seemed pleased to see me although he still looked troubled.
'My dear Horatio, how do you?'
'Troubled madam. I am much distressed at what happened to old Polonius, has it really come to this? I thought my lord's madness to be a mask but the death of the old man would seem to point otherwise.'
'It is my belief that what was once show is now the truth, it has taken him over.'
'I should be with him.'
'He will be back soon,' I reassured him.
'But he has been outcast to England.'
'Mark me he will return soon.'
He looked at me with doubt 'Is this your witchery again?'
'For my safety I like to call it my special knowledge.'
The Queen came along the corridor.
'Your highness how goes the Lady Ophelia?' he said with a reverent bow.
'Not well dear Horatio, her mind is much troubled,' she said sadly. She looked at me. 'You are her friend are you not?'
'Yes your highness,' I said curtsying.
'This is lady Lillian,' Horatio said introducing me. 'She has a special knowledge of things.'
'Indeed,' she said eyeing me up and down.
'I wonder your highness if I might be so brave as to ask for a private audience with you?'
'Very well,' she agreed. I curtsied my leave to Horatio who kissed my hand as fair well, I rather liked that. Then the Queen and I took to the corridor.
'It is about our Lady Ophelia,' I started.
Ophelia's death came as I knew it must, I tried changing things but it never seemed to work. Things had to be as they were, but still I had to try my best, do what I could do. I walked behind her coffin. I knew that Hamlet and Horatio were watching unseen. The priest efforts were half hearted he was of the opinion she shouldn't have a proper burial at all as she was deemed too have taken her own life. But she was not of sound mind when it happened, luckily she was high born or they wouldn't have stood for it at all. Laertes got very emotional and dived in onto her coffin and then Hamlet came out of his hiding place and was in there too. They both argued over who had had the most love for her. If only they had been here to show her I thought, and what was the point of Hamlet proclaiming his love now when she had been alive he have forcibly told her to get to a nunnery, men! Eventually they were pulled apart, they would fight properly in a fencing battle which had been arranged. I joined Laertes and tried to take his mind off it. Horatio saw me but he was tending to Hamlet.
'I hear you have been in France,' I said trying to distract Laertes, it seemed to work.
'Indeed madam I have.'
'Did you bring back many trinkets?'
'What is the point of a journey without trinkets to remember it by?'
'Might I see them?' I asked.
'Certainly.'
The table was laid out with all manner of things, some bits of dead animal I cared not for and a small bottle.
'What is this?' I said picking it up. He had been smoothing down his hair after the tussling match with Hamlet but when he saw the bottle in my hand the colour drained from his face.
'Please my lady put that down,' he said taking it from me as it if was the most delicate thing in the world.
'Why what is it?' But I had a good idea.
'Do not worry yourself with it my lady.'
'It must be awfully dangerous.'
'Indeed it is, it is a deadly potion.'
'Why ever have you got that?'
'I do not know why I bought it.'
'You best be careful or someone could get hurt.'
'Do not worry yourself my lady. Unfortunately my time runs short, I have an appointment to keep.'
I curtsied and left, I found Horatio not too far off he did not look best pleased.
'Why were you in Laertes rooms?'
'He was showing me his treasures from France.'
'Was he indeed?'
'Nothing untoward happened I assure you. I do not believe I am a woman Laertes would pay much attention to.'
'You breath, that is usually enough.'
'And Laertes is too hot headed a man for me, you've no need to be jealous.'
'I was not jealous.'
I raised an eyebrow.
I knew all too well what was coming now, the fateful fencing match. I felt sick to my stomach. Everyone entered the great hall. I managed to get a brief audience with the Queen.
'I pray you your highness please do not drink from the goblet the King has,' I whispered.
'Why ever not?'
'Once the King puts the pearl in it will be poison. You will not drink it will you?'
'Thank you for your warning young lady,' she said moving away.
I watched in trepidation the events unfurling before me. I could barely breathe as I watched Hamlet and Laertes duel. The outcome likely to be deadly. I watched on in horror as the Queen drank from the goblet I warned her about. Then Laertes drew Hamlets blood with potion loaded foil and Hamlet retaliated with it. They were both dosed with it. The Queen stumbled forward the whole sorry affair coming out. So many stumbling and falling. Hamlet knew who was to blame, who had always been to blame, his vile uncle. He wounded the King with the loaded blade and made him drink the cup of poison too. They all began to fall. Hamlet into Horatio's arms my heart skipped a beat when Horatio reached for the dreaded goblet too, but Hamlet stopped him saying he must tell their story. After some instruction Hamlet dropped silently into Horatio's arms. The sad stillness was broken by the arrival of Fortinbras. He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. He had expected to come for a fight for the lands but in his dying breath Hamlet had supported Fortinbras taking over. I could see the sadness on his face. It was agreed that the Kingdom would be his to save any further plots and such. Fortinbras' men carried away the bodies his captains carrying Hamlet as he said was fitting and cannons fired for the loss.
Once they had all gone Horatio was left alone and crying I took him in my arms his damp face next to mine. I think perhaps this was too intimate for these times, but he needed comfort and I had no reputation to keep, no one cared once I was back home.
'What will happens now?' He said his voice hoarse.
'We will put them on show as you said. Tell their story and let their people mourn, but for one day. Then we shall have them in the private chapel where we that knew them can mourn,' I looked at him for his answer, he wordlessly nodded before going back to my arms.
The publics mourning mirrored our own, shock and great sadness hung in the air. There was no gloating from the new King Fortinbras he honoured them well. It's said how it was not how he would have chosen to inherit. As my suggestion the public display was for one day only and then they were moved to the private chapel. The sunlight danced in the chapel as Horatio sat silently watching his prince. I was a couple of feet away, there for him but also not there. I looked at my watch which I had hidden in my copious pockets. Hiding it again before the ticking was noticed. But something else broke the silence, a sudden breath. But it was not Horatio, he stared on as Hamlet's chest started to move noticeably, and he began to open his eyes.
'My Prince, how can this be?'
Movement started to come from Laertes too.
'What witchcraft is this?' He looked to me of course, still I had some explaining to do.
'Not witchcraft,' I said 'I switched the deadly potion that Laertes planned to use on the foils for a little something I borrowed from Verona. It just made them appear dead for near two days.'
He didn't bother to ask how I'd got to Verona and back without being missed for more than a few hours. In truth it was only a handful of pages away. He was too busy helping his friend down and then in turn helping Laertes. Hamlet stumbled over to his mother.
'And what of the Queen?' Hamlet asked.
'I am afraid she is lost for good my Lord. I warned her not to sup from that cup but she did anyway.'
Hamlet's sadness was tinged with respect, 'Well dearest mother, you alone had courage to face the unknown. I hope that it will not treat you harshly.'
I motioned to the door, in came Doctor Barnes decked out in Elizabethan splendour and behind him a woman in a white cloak who's face was obscured.
'My Lord this is a Physician who can help with maladies of the mind, I know that it was not all of your design. He is here to help you if you will let him.'
He contemplated briefly, 'I dare say I would be of great interest to him, and he may be of great help to me,'
'It would be a great honour your highness,' he said with a sweeping bow, which made me think he felt like all his Christmases had come at once.
'But who is this other visitor?' Hamlet enquired.
A hush fell over the room as she lowered her hood.
The first to speak was Laertes 'Sister!' He said before rushing over to her, 'I thought you dead,' he said taking her in his arms.
'We all did,' Hamlet said joining Laertes.
Horatio looked to me again.
'Things had to be as they appeared, but it did not mean they could not in fact be different. It was necessary for Ophelia to appear mad and then appear dead.'
'Your madness was not real?' Laertes asked.
'Indeed it was not my brother, I am sorry for the hurt that I caused. My heart broke for my dear father but it did not affect my mind,' she deliberately did not look at Hamlet. 'Lillian told me how important it was that I should feign madness then be taken for dead. I saw you weep at my grave,' she said to her brother and Hamlet, 'And then I saw you fight,' she said scoldingly. She turned to look at Hamlet, 'Did you meant it when you said you loved me?'
'Aye with all my heart. If you had not spurned my affections I would not have acted so.'
'I did as I was bid by my father and brother who believed I was too lowly for a prince's attentions to be honourable.'
Hamlet glanced at Laertes before looking back to Ophelia. 'My attentions were always true,' he said somewhat hurt.
'I heard your mother at my graveside say she thought I to be your bride.'
'Tis true, it was always my intention. But then when my father died… I must say how heavy my heart is that I stole yours away from you, I had not had my wits about me and thought it my treacherous uncle.'
'I would for the world have my father back but I know your intention was not to mean him harm.'
Horatio had been thinking, 'But what of the Kingdom, everyone thinks you dead and Fortinbras has the throne?'
'Let him have it, I've had enough of villainy and treachery. I would rather a quiet and simple life.'
'Perhaps with a wife,' I hinted.
'I would love nothing better,' he looked to Laertes who nodded then to Ophelia who smiled and took his hand.
My work here was done, I arranged to go back for Doctor Barnes but he said he thought he would be there for quite some time.
I slipped out of the chapel making my exit, but Horatio followed me.
'My lady I have not thanked you, my gratitude will be forever with you'' he said kissing my hand. He contemplated his words for a moment. 'My lord Hamlet is not the only one who would take a wife,' he said and I felt awkward.
'Perhaps you should find one,' I said trying to divert the attention away from me.
'Me thinks I have,' it didn't work, he looked me in the eyes and my stomach did a flip. Typical the one man that wanted me and he was a fictional character from the Elizabethan era. How many times had I told myself not to fall in love with fictional characters? But he wasn't fictional not really he was real and breathing and standing in front of me. Leaving him would be so hard.
'Horatio my feelings run deep for you and I would be your wife if I could.' I said.
'Am I too lowly for you?' He asked.
'No truly,' I was the nobody he was a princes' best mates or goodness sake. A tear welling in my eye, which he wiped away, he was not making this easy. ' I do not belong here,' I said riffling my pockets.
'My dear sweet lady I have loved none other like you, please do not abandon me. Take me with you, I can rest easy now I know my Prince is well,'
'I can not,' or could I? He might not make it. 'I'm so sorry,' I said my eyes bleary from the tears, I fumbled for the book and opened it but as I did I felt a hand on my arm.
It was too late to stop it. I had managed to take Doctor Barnes back. But what would happen if Horatio came with me? Would I steel him away from the story? What if I ruined all Hamlets for good? We landed back in the library, I felt Horatio, he felt normal although he did seem somewhat confused. Concerned I looked for a regular copy of Hamlet, all was good he was still in there. Luckily it was late and the library was deserted.
'What journey did we just take?' Horatio asked dazed and disoriented.
'Take a seat this will take some explaining,' I said and it did.
'So the world I know is not real?'
'Yes,' it's a very well known story though.'
'I am not real then,' he said with a knotted brow.
'You feel real enough to me,' I said with a hand on his arm.
Taken aback he suddenly noticed our clothes had changed.
'Ah yes, I should also mention your story is a few hundred years in the past. These are modern clothes.'
'Do you want to go back?' I said seeing it was all getting too much for him.
'Only if you will come with me.'
'I can't this is my world.'
He thought for a moment, 'I could stay.'
'Would you really want to, it's very different from what you know?'
'If you are here then that's where I want to be. I know my prince is safe, thanks be to you.'
'You could but I'm not sure how I'll explain you or where you'll stay or how we'll get you any identification,' I said the whole thing seeming impossible.
'I have ways,' the librarian said appearing, he'd been listening the whole time.
'You knew?' I asked.
'Of course, who gave you the book in the first place? You don't remember visiting when you were young do you? Your aunt used to work here.'
Now he mentioned it, something stirred in my memory.
'That book belongs to you, it's your heritage.'
'Was I meant to fall in love?'
'Of course, someone needs to look after this kind hearted young man after what he's been through. You've saved him.''
'Well then let's introduce you to the 21st century, you've got a lot to catch up on.' I said leading him to the door. He stopped me, I worried he'd changed his mind.
He simply said. 'Thank you.'
