A/N Prompt fill for the Avengers Kink Meme found here:
Tony was angry.
No, Tony was furious. Like, red-as-his-suit furious.
It had all started with Clint being Clint. Tony was just working, minding his own business in the lab, sleep deprived as usual. His eyes were surely manic, his hair greasy, his clothes covered in hydraulic fluid. He hadn't eaten in a day, hadn't slept in three. It was like the minute Steve had left on SHIELD business four days ago he'd regressed back into the habits he'd had when he was single. And surprisingly, no one was here to stop him.
Pepper was in Tokyo on SI business, Natasha and Bucky were with Steve, Bruce was at a convention that Tony did not want to go to because really, Biology was a squishy science and Tony preferred metallic things. All in all, he'd been left at the tower with Thor - who in all reality had been banging Jane into the damned floorboards for the past two hours - and Clint - who had the nerve to terrify the man with a bad heart any chance he got.
Tony was on high alert even though all his attention seemed to be focused on the intricate wiring he was soldering along the base of a control panel for one of R&D's mainframes. Clint hadn't stopped swooping in via air vent the entire time the team had been gone and it was really grating on Tony. The petite brunette had ordered Jarvis to warn him before hand because Tony was scared shitless. The crazy ass blonde man would not go away.
Eventually, Clint had ceased. Tony realized that it was probably dark out and Clint had simply gone to bed. He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes and groaned as he attempted to stand from his bent over position. Damn back, always creaking. "J? Time?" Tony croaked out, zipping over to turn off his soldering iron. Tony could hear the disappointment in Jarvis's tone as he spoke, "Two twenty three a.m. sir. I do believe you require some nutrition and sleep. You don't want to be comatose when Captain Rogers arrives back in a half an hour. I don't think he'd be very appreciative." That cynical little bastard was right. Tony had assured Steve that he'd be fine for a few days, but Tony couldn't sleep without him. That why the brunette decided to ignore the latter of Jarvis's advice and went to his lab door, heading towards the communal kitchen in search of some food.
He ventured into the elevator trepidatiously, gazing around the dark and equally empty tower with a little disdain and a lot of superstition. "Where the fuck are you Katpiss?" Tony had hissed softly, checking his surroundings once more before venturing out of the lift. He hadn't needed a light, using the glow of his shirtless chest to maneuver around the kitchen. He opened the fridge, dug out some two day old Thai takeout, and promptly grabbed a pair of barbeque tongs to eat it with. He was in the middle of stabbing something that resembled meat when Clint quite literally dropped out of a ceiling tile and on top of him.
"HOLY SHIT!" Tony had screamed, screeching continuously for a few seconds before heaving in a breath. Clint grinned through his tears, his giggles infinite. Tony punched him weakly, one hand over his glowing chest as he did so. His heart was pounding, blood pressure racing. He could feel his temples beat along with his pulse and prepared for the upcoming headache.
"Clint! What the hell!? I'm going to kill you." The archer just shrugged, sitting against the dishwasher and wiping his tears. Clint grabbed the forgotten box of Thai and grimaced, glancing into the cardboard box with a cocked brow. Tony's eyes hadn't stopped bulging.
"Clint?!" He exclaimed once more, running a hand through his hair and waiting for a response. The man in question looked at him with amusement.
"What Tony? You gonna bitch slap me?" Clint grinned brightly, winking at the shorter man. Tony stood, putting a hand on his hip.
"No. But Steve will! And, and it'll hurt. Bad!" He responded anxiously, knowing full well that Steve's slap would hurt. Clint giggled again, shaking his head.
"He wouldn't hit me, not unless I had some sort of serum. He's far to squishy, "Clint poked Tony's stomach, grinning. "To hit someone who couldn't be an equal physically." Tony groaned internally, he did have a point. Steve wouldn't hit someone who couldn't take it. That's when Tony smirked.
"My boyfriend can beat up yours." Tony was sure Bucky and Steve had gotten into little arguments and scuffles before, and now, they were both on the same playing field. Steve could do it, to be a gentleman or whatever right? Defending honor or something?
"Or," Clint began, standing and patting Tony's head like he was a petulant child. "My boyfriend can beat up yours?" Tony grimaced, both hands swinging to his hips as he cocked a sassy brow, attitude coming out full force.
"Steve will crush Bucky like the Thai food you just landed on!" Tony shouted, pointing a finger and daring Clint to respond. The archer giggled, shaking his head as the lift dinged, announcing an arrival. Tony ran to the metal doors, bursting through them and latching onto to a beaming Steve like a spider monkey. The heels of his bare feet dug into Steve's back and his dirty hands clutched around his neck. Tony gasped, gesturing towards the archer.
"Steve! Beat up Clint's boyfriend now! Clint's being mean and he, he defaced my honor!" Tony said it like Clint had done something truly punishable, sticking his tongue out at the blonde archer. Clint hugged Bucky once, whispering something into the sniper's ear as they both laughed. Steve cocked a blonde brow towards Bucky, both of them smiling. Natasha just snorted, quite unladylike actually, before walking off the lift to get a drink.
"Tony," Steve started slowly, knowing by the circles surround his big brown eyes that he hadn't slept much and was very temperamental. "What exactly did Clint do?"
Tony jumped at the chance to explain, waving his hands in the air and nearly falling from Steve before the man supported him upward easily. "Clint came from the damn ceiling Steve! He kept doing it, andIhaveworktodoSteve-"
Steve placed a finger on Tony's chapped lips, calming the short man with a soft smile. Tony frowned. "Okay, so he scared you?"
"Terrified me Steve! Terrified. And you know I have heart problems, hecouldhavekilledmeSteve. Now," Tony took a breath, obviously worked up. "Please go beat up his boyfriend!"
Steve looked over at Clint, trying to keep him amusement at bay for Tony's sake. He sighed. "Why exactly is Tony wanting me to beat up Bucky?"
Clint snorted, gesturing towards the insane engineer perched on Steve's body. "Because you won't hit me-"
"See, so that why you have to hit Bucky! Get at 'em Steve. Go! Go! G-"
"Tony." Bucky started, grinning boyishly, "Why don't we do something a little bit tamer eh? Like video games. You can pick and Steve can defend your honor after you get some rest. Okay?" The large brunette proposed, gazing at Steve. The Captain nodded his thanks, knowing how much Bucky loved the eccentric man. Tony nodded, sighing as he finally seemed content with the agreement, laying his head on Steve's chest and closing his eyes. Tony's breaths seemed to even out.
"Just. Bucky. I like you, really. But you're boyfriend is a douche." Tony murmured, playing with one of Steve's blonde locks. Bucky laughed, kissing Clint swiftly before nodding.
"My favorite douche."
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