Not sure if it's mentioned in the anime, but in the game, it's stated that Shizuma had an accident that left him in a wheelchair for a year when he was in middle school, leaving him unable to do stride.

I'm not really content with the second part of this, so I'm posting it in the second chapter. So if you feel like the fic is complete after the first chapter, feel free to leave out chapter two.

I have absolutely zero idea of how temporary paralysis works, or more like, how the recovery process works, so I'm pretty much just bullshitting this entire thing I'm so sorry.


Reiji is there when it happens. Of course he is. He and Shizuma, they're always together.
He's there, he watches as Shizuma falls in slow motion. He watches him land on his back, he hears the pained sound he makes at the impact, and he sees how he doesn't move anymore.
In fact, he is giving no indication of still being alive at all. He isn't making a sound, even though a fall like this surely must be very painful, yet he is lying there perfectly still.

Reiji runs to his side as fast as he can. Faintly, he registers Asuma running after him as well, but he only has eyes for Shizuma, who still isn't moving, god, why isn't he moving ?

"Shizuma!" he cries, he can't keep the fear out of his voice. Asuma echoes him, but there's no reply. Reiji drops onto his knees next to his best friend, and desperately lays a hand onto his cheek, unsure of what to do. "Shizuma, say something! Please!"

But Shizuma doesn't reply. Shizuma doesn't open his eyes. It doesn't even look like he's conscious.

There is no visible injury, yet Reiji knows, he just knows that something is terribly wrong.

"Asuma, get someone. My parents, your parents, just someone! We need to help him!" he hisses urgently, and Asuma runs off, what just happened hasn't got through to him entirely it seems. It's better that way, Reiji figures, better than realizing your brother is probably horribly hurt when you're supposed to get help.

Reiji fumbles for his phone, his parents make him carry it with him whenever they're doing stride, and while he usually finds it annoying, he is so glad he has it with him right now.
Almost on autopilot, he dials the hospital, one hand on Shizuma's cheek still. The voice on the other side of the line asks what happened.

"My friend fell off a roof," he sobs, and it only occurs to him now that he is crying. "He landed on his back, and he won't wake up!"

The voice instructs him not to try to move Shizuma, even better not touch him at all, and they ask for his location. He tells them, then hangs up numbly when they tell him an ambulance is on their way.

He doesn't know for how long he sits there, and he doesn't actually process what happens from there, either.

At some point, there is Asuma, there are both Shizuma and Reiji's parents, and there are paramedics that take Shizuma away.

Reiji sobs and begs but they won't let him stay by Shizuma's side. They make him stay behind while they drive off with Shizuma. Shizuma's mother is allowed to ride in the ambulance, Reiji doesn't understand why he isn't.

His parents try to calm him down, talk to him with soothing voices, and agree to take him to the hospital.

The ride passes in a blur, and Reiji finds himself in a hospital corridor, sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair. He is still crying quietly, since they won't tell him what is happening with Shizuma. Asuma sits next to him, he's crying as as well, and he clutches Asuma's hand as a small attempt to comfort them both.

Reiji overhears a nurse talking to his and Asuma's parents quietly, saying something about shock and about not being able to properly understand the situation. But he does understand, he understands his best friend is badly hurt, and he isn't allowed to see him. He doesn't understand why, though.

Finally, finally , a doctor comes. Reiji jumps up, everyone else gets up as well, anxiously awaiting the news.
He tells them a lot of complicated sounding things that Reiji doesn't understand, but then he gets to the important bit, and that he understands. And what he's saying- it can't be true.

He is saying Shizuma's back was damaged so badly he was paralysed from the waist down. But it can't be, he must be lying. And so Reiji tells the doctor, screaming in his face to cut it out and tell them the truth, but from the way Shizuma's mother is sobbing and clutching her other son closely, from how Shizuma's father punches the wall, from how his own parents have gone pale, hand placed over his mother's mouth in shock, it is real.

It is real, and oh god, this can't be happening. Paralysed people can't run, and Shizuma loves running. They were going to keep running together, always. So why did this have to happen? Why did Shizuma, the sweetest, most caring person in the world, have to lose what he values most?


He gets to visit him a few days later. Really visit with Shizuma being awake, that is. He's already gone to see him before, but visiting hours passed and Shizuma didn't wake up, and in the end he was forced to leave.

This time, Shizuma was sleeping as well when he arrived, but he woke up soon enough, and now they are talking. Sort of. Reiji tells him about what is happening at home, and at school, but it feels meaningless, superficial, and Reiji feels like crying, which makes him feel bad because he shouldn't be the one crying, which makes him want to cry even more.

After a while of silence, Shizuma says, "I'm fine, you know."
Reiji knows he isn't talking about his physical well-being, both of them know he is far from being physically fine. He looks exhausted, pale, he's clearly in pain (Reiji can see it in his face even though Shizuma tries to conceal it, but it's in his voice as well), but he still manages to smile.
No, Shizuma is telling him not to worry about it, but…

"How can you be fine? You don't even know when you'll be able to run again-"

"Reiji…"

"What?"

"Running… I don't think I'll ever be running again, Reiji. They don't even know if I'll be able to walk again. And they say my back is always going to trouble me…"

"No!" Reiji argues, "If they don't know if you will walk again, then they also don't know for sure you won't! There's still a chance you will be able to walk again! And then-"

"Okay, so maybe there is a chance I will walk again. But the doctors can't tell how high it is yet. And walking isn't running. According to the doctors, I'll have to be careful with my back all my life. And running is dangerous, I proved that quite well just now."

All along, Shizuma is smiling. He is smiling, like he always is, a sad but genuine smile this time, and it breaks Reiji's heart into a million pieces. He is sure it's meant to comfort him, but it makes his chest hurt even more because Shizuma shouldn't have to be the one comforting him right now, he shouldn't always have to look after him, it should be the other way round, and he should be offering comfort to Shizuma, but he isn't, and he can't because he's hurting all over for his friend.

"Reiji?" Shizuma asks concernedly, reaching out for Reiji, and only now Reiji notices the tears that are rolling down his face - that seems to be a thing lately, not noticing he's actually crying.

"This is not fair," Reiji sniffs pathetically. "It's just not fair, you've never done anything wrong, you're such a good person, you always make sure everyone is okay, and it is not fair !"

He looks up as he feels a hand covering his own, meeting Shizuma's eyes.

"Life is not fair, you know. And you need to look at the bright side of things. You said it yourself; maybe I will be able to walk again. Maybe I won't, but either way I'll be okay. You'll stay with me no matter what, won't you?"

Reiji flinches in surprise. "Of course I will!" he exclaims, indignant that he even has to say so. Shizuma is his best friend, of course he will stay by his side no matter how things go!

"Then there's nothing to worry about, is there?" Shizuma smiles, and Reiji can't stop the tiny laugh that is bubbling in his chest.


Recovery is painful and exhausting to say the least. Shizuma is in almost constant pain, first from the injury in his back, and then it's soreness from physical therapy.

True to his words, Reiji is there almost twenty four hours per day, meaning whenever he isn't at school, or doing the necessary amount of homework his parents make him do (most of the time he just brings it to the hospital though). He never leaves without either his parents practically having to drag him out of the hospital, or one of the nurses kicking him out of the room kindly but firmly.

They make Shizuma work hard, and he works even harder than what they demand from him. Reiji often has to stop him from overdoing it, and more often than not, Shizuma just falls asleep the second his head touches his pillow.

Reiji supports him where he can, both physically and mentally. He is always present during therapy, assisting the therapists whenever there is an opportunity to, and cheering on Shizuma of every accomplishment. The smile he gets in return is the best reward he could get. The therapists appreciate his help, since they consider it healthy for Shizuma to have a person he trusts with him, and Reiji is more than happy to assist his best friend.

But he is also there when Shizuma is struggling mentally, when he is too sore to move properly, or in those rare moments when it looks like he is losing hope.
After particularly rough therapy sessions, Reiji will crawl into bed with him, sometimes hold his hand, and talk to him about random happy things. Sometimes they'll watch tv, and sometimes they just lie in silence, enjoying each other's company.

After some time, their efforts pay off: Shizuma starts to feel his legs again. It isn't much, just some sensation in his toes, but it is enough to make both of them cry and laugh with joy. The therapist laughs with them, having become attached to the two boys after working with them several times a week.

Reiji keeps telling Shizuma how proud he is of him, how glad he is that he is getting better, and how much he loves him. And it's true. Shizuma is his best friend so he loves him in a friend way, but there's also something else he can't quite place yet. He doesn't give it much thought either, though, for both of them have to focus on Shizuma's recovery, and for now Reiji is perfectly happy with just being his best friend and postponing the other feeling for later.

When the weather is nice, Reiji often takes Shizuma outside to the hospital's park.

The first time he did so was also the first time he actually saw Shizuma in his wheelchair for something else than getting to the therapy rooms. He thought something inside him broke when he first touched the handles of the wheelchair to push him out of the room, because it felt so final, so irreversible, and he felt like he couldn't breathe, but again Shizuma smiled at him and told him it was okay. After that, it was easier to get air into his lungs, and together they made their way out of the building for the first time.

Now, Reiji is used to it. He no longer feels the pain in his chest when he pushes Shizuma in his wheelchair. He is okay with it because Shizuma is okay with it, and because he sees the progress his friend is making, and the only thing he feels is hope.

Today is a special day. Today, Shizuma is able to move his left foot. Not much, and it's weak, but there is movement . And Reiji feels so happy he might just die. Or cry. Or both. He goes for the latter, though. The therapist is delighted, Shizuma and Reiji are ecstatic.
The doctor that is responsible for Shizuma's treatment tells them that the chances of him being able to walk again have increased incredibly, at this point they're much higher than the chances of him being stuck in a wheelchair for good.

That night, Reiji is allowed to sleep at the hospital with Shizuma. They lie next to each other, fingers entwined, and Shizuma tells him about his fears.

"There were times when I really thought I couldn't do it," he admits quietly. "There still are, but much less than in the beginning. There was a point where I'd really accepted that I might never walk again."

Reiji squeezes his hand a little more tightly but doesn't say anything.

"To think that now it has become a real possibility again… it's more than I had hoped for," Shizuma continues, and Reiji's chest aches because his friend accepted the idea of never being able to walk again without even mentioning it.

"You're strong, Shizuma. You're so strong. You might not see it, but what you're going through… I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could accept it the way you did. I would break down, I couldn't possibly deal with it like this. But you… you keep your feelings to yourself, you keep them all bottled up all the time. But I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. I'll be there if you want to talk, and I'll be there to support you, always," he whispers, trying to put all his emotions into words.

Shizuma smiles. "I know. You've been here for the past weeks, and it helped me so much. My parents come to visit, Asuma does, too, but you're just always here. And it's more than enough for me. Reiji, you do so much for me, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to pay you back, but I'm so grateful that you're here."

He shifts closer to Reiji, and places his head on his shoulder. "And now… I accepted it, I really did, but hearing that there is still hope after all… it makes me so relieved and happy, and I…" he trails off as a tear rolls down his cheek, for the first time in weeks, and he sniffles quietly as he presses his nose into Reiji's neck.

Reiji combs his fingers through Shizuma's long pink hair gently, and hugs him close. "It's okay, you're okay. I've got you, you will walk again, and I will help you, and I'll always be by your side because you're my best friend and I love you." And he means it, he really does. In fact, he doesn't think he's ever said anything that sincerely before.

"I love you too."


A/N: I've never posted such heavy angst even tho I absolutely love that kind of stuff, so I'm actually kind of embarrassed about this right now ^^'
Anyway I'm utterly disappointed that the PoS manga seems to be discontinued since I really love Shizuma and I so wanted to see his backstory... so here's my own attempt on The Backstory™
Comments make my day, and please to tell me about mistakes.