Change of Outfit
Summary: Reno is determined to get Tseng to open up and show him what is under his suit.
Characters: Tseng and Reno
Content and Rating: This story contains male/male relationships. Mention of child abuse.
Disclaimer: Don't own Final Fantasy VII, just using for my own amusement. There is no profit from this endeavour.
Acknowledgments and Author's note: After Dirge and AC are all said and done.
Thanks to ZiggyPasta for being a great Beta and friend.
Tseng was the only one that was wearing a suit. Even Rufus was wearing some casual clothing for the day at the resort in Costa del Sol.
Reno squinted at the only man in the suit, and wondered aloud if he ever wore anything else. They had been there for five days for some sort of summit at which Rufus was speaking with Reeve. Even Reeve was wearing a tacky pair of board shorts, and floral shirt that was blinding to just about everyone who saw it. Rufus' clothing was a little more discrete; a pair of deck pants and a white linen shirt that was draped over a black muscle shirt. It was perfectly tailored to hide all his scars. Cissnei was wearing her pale blue and yellow number, with oversized white framed sunglasses; and Rude was rocking a pair of red and black board shorts that looked as though they were tailored in the Shin-Ra gift shop. Reno wore a colourful pair of bright green and blue shorts, and a matching muscle shirt.
Everyone was wearing appropriate attire for the beach, with the exception of Tseng, who was still wearing the stiff, dark blue suit, dark sunglasses, with his hair tied up in a tight ponytail.
Lifting up her sun glasses, Cissnei followed Reno's gaze. "The last time we were here, he only wore that suit, too. I think his suit is a tattoo and he's actually walking around naked."
"He's dedicated to his job," Rude said as he got up, grabbing the empty drink glasses that were on the table before walking to the bar again.
Reno tried thinking of a time he had seen Tseng out of a suit. Not even when he left the hospital after Sephiroth nearly killed him did Reno see him out of that suit. When he was in the bed, he was covered from head to toe with blankets and told everyone to let him rest, as he didn't want visitors. It was a never-changing image that he projected onto everyone.
"No one's ever seen 'im in anythin' else, yo! Doesn't he have a hobby or somethin'?" Reno said as he finished the beer that was in his hand. He had had quite a few — he was off duty after all — and was feeling the rush of the booze hitting his system. "Have ya seen his apartment?"
Cissnei nodded. "I went there once. It was nice."
"Nice?" Reno turned to her and pointed the empty bottle at her. "Whaddya mean nice? He hasn't even let me near the place, yo!"
Rude returned, replacing the bottle in Reno's hand with a full one. "You would have looked through all the drawers."
Reno nodded his head. "Yeah, probably would've." He didn't even try to hide that he was watching Tseng from his lounger. The leader of the Turks lowered his head to talk to Rufus before entering the building where the other stuffy men wearing tacky beach clothing were gathering.
They waited at their post outside where they were supposed to, enjoying the sun, the view of the men and women that were walking by, and a remarkable sunset. Despite all that, Reno was focused on a plan to get Tseng out of his suit so he could see that body beneath. The addition of multi-coloured fruity drinks was also encouraging his thoughts to wander.
The meetings were finally ending, and everyone wandered to dinner with various partners, business partners, and friends. He watched Rufus separate from Tseng, as was expected. Tseng was on official duty — whereas the rest of them were on light duty to scope the crowd out — and was now allowed to be off duty, if there was ever such a thing for him. He was always on, always thinking of work, and seldom did things that were for him.
Reno was going to change that tonight. Now on a mission to get Tseng to loosen up, he slid out of his chair and followed after the dark-haired Turk.
The hotel room was blessedly cool as he finally made it to his room. He was not a fan of Costa. It was hot and uncomfortable this time of year, and it wasn't like anyone accomplished anything at this conference. It was a horrible excuse for a business meeting.
Tseng decided to call room service, and ordered what he usually ordered for supper on such a hot day. He didn't like to eat much in this heat, or else he was going to end up with an upset stomach and a headache. Rufus would be having dinner and most likely a night cap with the young man from Icicle, or with the young woman who was from Rocket Town. There were arrangements for his protection either way the President wanted to go.
Tseng started to undo his tie, wanting to be more comfortable while working. There were e-mails to be caught up on and shifts to plan. He figured he could get those done on his laptop before the food arrived.
He only managed to get through a few emails before there was a knock at the door. He was amazed that only ten minutes had passed, and doubted that room service could be that quick. Cautiously he closed his laptop and called out to the door, "Be right there." He patted the bulge of the gun hiding behind his jacket in case it wasn't room service.
He was not expecting to see Reno on the other side of the door. Tseng pulled his hand away from the gun and glared at the redhead. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be following Reeve around?"
"Laney's doin' that," Reno said quickly. He pushed his way in and headed for the bed. "I drank too much, yo."
"I didn't invite you in."
The redhead fell dramatically with a bounce before burying his face in one of the pillows. Tseng rolled his eyes as he closed the door, knowing that Reno was going to be difficult. He stood at the end of the bed, staring down at the prone figure. "Comfortable?"
Reno rolled over and positioned himself so that he was facing Tseng. "You're still in yer suit, yo." The slender Turk looked appropriately sun-kissed. His skin was a few shades darker than normal, his hair was out of its usual ponytail, and the red marks were blending in with red colouring that touched his skin from the sun.
"Of course I am. I'm still working."
"Don't ya ever take a night off? Loosen up? Chillax or anythin'?"
He glared down over his crossed arms. "Yes, but not while there is still work to do. Would you please get out? I want to eat, shower and go to bed, and you're interfering."
"Ya never talk 'bout anythin' but work stuff; guns, tactics, and protocols. Whaddya do for fun, Boss?" Reno put his hands behind his head, crossed his ankles over each other, and gave him an expectant look.
"This is not the time to talk of such things." Tseng wanted to get his work done and didn't want to talk to Reno about this. "Go to your room and sober up. You'll have to take over Elena's watch tomorrow." He felt a strange tension fill his stomach as the other man gave no indication that he was leaving. The last person that asked him personal questions was Veld, and that was a long time ago.
"Come on, yo. I'll work a double duty when we get back to Junon, and not argue with anyone for a month. I'll be the best Turk ever!" Reno winked and gave a big, charming smile. "I can do it, too, don't say I can't, Bossman. I wanna know if yer gonna go on a gun-totin' rampage, or if ya don't have a way to unwind, yo."
"I can assure you that you are my largest concern for a gun-toting rampage around the office," Tseng said. "I'm not in a social mood, Reno. I'll ask you again to leave."
"Yer still wearin' yer suit, and there's no one here, man. Can't ya even answer yer emails in yer own private room without yer shirt on?" Reno's gaze was intense, and Tseng understood that there was more to his intrusion than being drunk. The gaze held more than just the lack of inhibitions, but of deep curiosity. There was also more in that look ... something that he had never been able to return.
He didn't feel it appropriate, but at the same time, he didn't discourage it. He should have been stronger in off-putting him from any thought or any look that spoke of sexual desire. Longing was one thing, but following through was another.
"I ordered food," he stated curtly.
"So?"
"I don't like answering the door unclothed."
"Not even without yer suit jacket? That's hardly naked, yo."
A gentle knock at the door drew Tseng's attention away from the persistent redhead. He went to the door and was glad that it was indeed his order and not another buzzed Turk arriving at his door step.
After signing for the food and sending away the porter, he returned to his desk with the tray. Reno was still on the bed, but in a new position; raised on his elbows with his head cocked to the side and his blue eyes were watching his every move, even when he unrolled his utensils from the napkin. "What do you really want to know, Reno?" Tseng examined the shrimp stir fry and the small serving of pudding that had been added for dessert. "I want to eat in peace." He didn't look at Reno as he folded the large napkin and placed it over the keyboard of his laptop. The less he looked at the redhead, the less he would have to see him in his beach attire, and the less he would have to think about him asking questions.
"Ya never unwind, Tseng. Never! At every holiday, ya always are proper, don't drink more than one drink, and keep the conversation on a professional level. Ya know everythin' 'bout everybody, but I don't think I even know what yer favorite colour is." Reno sat up on the bed and put his elbows on his knees. "I wanna make sure ya aren't one of Reeve's robots. I wanna make sure that yer not a Cait in a Tseng suit. I mean, ya survived gettin' burnt by Genesis, skewered by Sephiroth, bein' shot by that freak in the alley, a Zolom that thought ya were a snack, and Rufus. I swear to Gaia that ya have to be a robot."
Tseng found his mouth twitching. He put his fork down on the side of his meal. "I didn't think anyone would be interested in my hobbies," Tseng said, "or what my favorite colour is."
"Well, I am!" Reno nearly yelled, and then cleared his throat.
Tseng didn't bother suppressing his smile. "Are you hitting on me?"
Reno's face went nearly as red as his hair, and he stood abruptly. He sputtered for a moment that pleased Tseng greatly, before sitting back down on the bed with a serious look. "Yeah, so what if I am?"
Tseng had to look away. He always admired people from afar and couldn't let anyone get close. "Aren't you bedding Rufus?" Tseng said, no longer amused by the situation.
"Nah," Reno said and leaned back on one elbow. "We jus' flirt with each other. He's not my type, but he's fun to tease, yo."
Tseng couldn't help but look at Reno now with curiosity. Rufus and Reno flirted with each other for years, and Tseng always made the assumption that every time Reno had guard duty with Rufus, that they always shared the room because they were lovers. Rufus never took another partner when he was with Reno, and he thought that was the reason; even if it was only a seemingly casual affair.
Obviously, he was mistaken.
"We dun like each other that way. It's too damn awkward, yo. We tried it once and we ended up laughin' at each other too much, and watchin' a cheesy movie," Reno said and even looked uncomfortable. "Happy with that confession, yo? I know what he likes, and I help 'im get dates from time to time. I only join 'im if there's actual sleep involved, yo."
"I was not aware." The revelation was eye-opening and ... welcome.
Reno gave him one of his wide smiles that Tseng had to admire from a distance. "The Great Tseng didn't know somethin'!"
"When he was injured, you spent every night in the hospital with him." Tseng had made a lot of assumptions during that time.
Reno waved his hand at him. "Yeah, well, he didn't trust those nurses, and didn't want anyone else to see him cry and all." The redhead ran his hand through his hair. "He still wanted to keep his image-ruinin' moment to a minimum, is all, yo."
Tseng understood the need for privacy when it came to scars. Rufus was very picky about who was allowed in the room once he realized where he was, and Reno was one that was directing the people coming in and out. Tseng left him to it as it seemed a perfect role for him, as he thought they had been lovers.
He had misread the situation.
Tseng turned his full attention on Reno. "So now you're hitting on me?"
"I jus' wanna know what's under that suit, yo."
"Pardon?"
"Ya always wear that suit, yo. It was cookin' out there today, and ya were still wearin' that damn suit. Ya wouldn't even let room service see ya without yer jacket. I was thinkin' all day 'bout how I know nothin' 'bout ya. Yer an expert Turk, gunman, assassin, and leader, but are ya anythin' else?"
"Isn't that enough?" The direction of the conversation was starting to make him uncomfortable, as it was moving into a territory that he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about. Questions about his life before Shin-Ra hardly ever came up, and he liked that very few knew about his past. It was Veld that knew the most, and he was no longer in official employment.
"No!" Reno's voice was sharp as he stood, and he wavered slightly to betray the alcohol that was in his system. "Ya tell us all to have vacations, breaks, clear out the cobwebs from our brains and all that sorta stuff, and I dun think ya've taken even a single one yerself. The only time that ya were ever outta commission was when Sephiroth skewered ya. Other than that, ya were always doin' somethin' that was for Shin-Ra, yo."
Reno moved to stand in front of him and Tseng had to look up to meet his eye. "I dunno, Boss. I was watchin' ya today, all stiff 'n proper. There're so many times that I thought ya were gonna break when we were dealin' with Aerith, and then again with the whole Chaos thing, and the crazy Sephiroth spawn. I mean, ya need to let loose and get into somethin' other than that suit. It'd be a good start, yo."
"I like wearing this suit," Tseng said as he stood up to meet Reno's concerned look and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I have my moments where I recharge. It's when I go home. I like simple things and don't want other people to worry about me."
"So, can ya take off yer shirt?" Reno said with a look that could rival when Zack tried to give him a puppy-dog look.
"I would rather not."
"But why?" The whine was nearly ear-splitting. "I bet you have a hot bod under all that fabric. I haven't even seen ya in the gym, man. How do ya stay so cut?"
Tseng refrained from rolling his eyes. "I'm flattered that you want to see me naked, but I'm fine. I'm not going to crack and blow things up. Go to your room and sober up." He hoped that was enough to get Reno out of the room and leave him alone. He went back to picking on his dinner.
"What do I hafta do to see ya naked?"
"Reno," Tseng sighed. "You are not going to see me naked."
"Please!" Reno dropped to his knees in front of his chair and put his hands in front of him as if he was going to pray. "I'll stand back, and ya can cuff my hands so I dun touch."
"Get up, Reno. You're embarrassing yourself."
"No one but you in the room. I just wanna peek, yo."
"No."
"I'll strip, too."
"Reno!"
"Wanna go shoppin' then? Get a t-shirt and maybe a pair of shorts?"
"Is this how you planned on getting me out of my suit?"
"I can seduce ya, can't I?" Reno winked at him and scooted forward so that he was kneeling right in front of his knees. The redhead placed his hands on either side of Tseng's legs and rubbed them gently. "I can make ya loosen up a bit, yo."
"Are you offering me a blow job?" Tseng asked, intending it as a joke as Reno leaned in and licked his lips. Tseng found himself opening his legs to accommodate him. Reno's hands stroked higher up on his thighs as the redhead flashed him a seductive smile.
"Yo, I'm offerin' ya anythin' ya want to get ya outta that suit," Reno whispered and inched his hands forward, but seemed hesitant to move them off his thighs, even though they were twitching to do more.
"What if I told you that I'm not interested in men?" Tseng said, trying to divert him from the seductive position.
"Dammit, Tseng. Are ya toyin' with me?" Reno whispered and let his head fall against Tseng's thigh. Instinctively, Tseng put his hand in Reno's surprisingly soft hair and began to run his fingers through it.
"Isn't going straight to sex taking a huge jump in our potential relationship?"
"I've known ya since I was twelve," Reno whispered.
"That doesn't make it right." Tseng gave his red hair a gentle tug.
"Don't ya get lonely, Tseng?" The redhead seemed content kneeling on the floor with his head against Tseng's leg. The dark-haired Turk didn't find it uncomfortable as he normally found intimate contact to be.
"At times," Tseng admitted as he massaged the redhead's scalp, and he could feel the warmth of his sun-kissed skin through his pants. He had very little intimacy in his life, and most intimacy he found uncomfortable because of the reason that he wore the suit all the time. Encounters in the past had been rushed; clothes only opened enough to allow release and nothing more.
Could it be different now?
"I wanna know more 'bout ya, Tseng," Reno whispered. "If ya want, unless ya ain't really interested in guys."
A few deep breaths were needed to calm his nerves as he continued to thread his fingers through Reno's silky hair. Reno had shaken him to his core; the part of him that he had kept pushed down for so long. There was a part of him that wanted intimacy and closeness that he had not allowed himself.
He wasn't sure if he was able to be part of a relationship, and doubted that Reno was serious about one. A chill filled his stomach. It could turn out bad either way.
"If I show you what is under my suit, and you don't run away …" Tseng had to pause and take a deep breath to compose himself before continuing. "I don't want you talking about it with others."
"I can't brag?"
"No."
"Can I jus' say I saw and it was glorious?" Reno smirked and Tseng suppressed a laugh. Reno always did make situations that were stressful become light-hearted.
"I can allow that."
"Cool." Reno's hands started to reach up to Tseng's jacket, and Tseng had to slap them away.
"Let me eat first. I'm hungry."
"Can I order somethin'? I did steal a bit of Cissy's fries, but I had to make sure there was no gravy on 'em," Reno leaned back on his heels and reached for the menu that was sitting on the end table.
"Help yourself. Order a few drinks while you're on the phone." Tseng stabbed at his meal and started to eat. The cold brick in his stomach was still there and he hoped that eating would suppress his nerves.
Reno jumped up and dove across the bed to grab the phone. He ordered predictably as he gave the instructions for nachos with extra salsa, watermelon vodka, lemon soda and a pitcher of ice water.
"Vodka?"
"Wanna keep the buzz goin', yo," Reno said as he made himself comfortable on the bed by fluffing up the pillow and lying on his side. "So, if we're gonna be an item, I need to know what ya do for fun."
"Meditate." Tseng said after he swallowed. Sharing activities was not something he had even thought about.
"Duh, we know ya do that, but ya hafta do other things, yo. Do ya go to the movies, read books, collect cards, or eat corn dogs? What else ya do?"
"I read books," Tseng said. "I like to keep up on information and what is happening with the world, as well as theology. I purchase a lot of works for research. The one I'm reading is on the table there."
Reno reached for it and held it in front of his nose. "'Anyone You Want Me to Be,'" Reno muttered and started to leaf through the pages. "Yo, this is like a research paper?"
"It's relevant in understanding Reeve's recent stalker that has been hounding him over the internet. And is a good tool to ensure that I can train the young Turks on how to avoid and use some of the techniques for investigative purposes," Tseng said. "I read it before bed."
Reno's eyes grew wide as he read some passages out of the book. "This would give me fuckin' nightmares, yo. Who wants to hear about this shit? This is all about manipulatin' some chicks to think yer someone else, and then killin' 'em for funsies."
"Yes," Tseng stated simply as he picked at the remainder of the food; he already finished the shrimp, which was the tastiest part.
"Yo, this ain't relaxin'!"
"It is for me." Tseng wasn't sure the sharing part was going to work. The heavy lump felt like it was rising to his chest. If Reno thought the book was strange, he was going to run away when he showed him why he was never seen without his shirt.
"Yer weird," Reno said as he closed the book. "Haven't ya read anythin' else?"
"I read some fantasy and so forth. Aerith enjoyed that style of writing, but I could never understand what she saw in the over-the-top stories between a hero and a princess." Thoughts about the Ancient were ones that he tried not to indulge. Aerith had made a big impression on his life, and her loss was hard on him —more than he would like to admit to anyone. The flower garden that he kept on the roof patio of his penthouse in Junon was a tribute to her. He had moved all the flowers that he could salvage from his apartment in Midgar after it fell, and even a few from the church. It was one of his private joys to see the flower garden prosper, and the flowers that he bought on regular basis to decorate his apartment.
There were many books that had pages filled with dried flowers from the days before the Calamity struck. It was a time when he would visit her almost on a daily basis, and would venture the worn-out church when he was in the area to honor her memory.
He didn't know why she was always attracted to the brawny type. Zack and Cloud were not the only boys in a military uniform with which she would flirt and giggle. Zack was just the first that stayed around.
When he had grabbed her from her home to take her into custody, he had been angry that she had taken a bodyguard — namely Cloud. He thought that she was beyond that, and was willing to settle for someone that wasn't going to hurt her any more.
Cloud became her hero and she became a princess again.
His inner journey was interrupted by Reno chuckling at him. "She always did like the SOLDIER type. Didn't ever talk to her 'bout her readin' materials, yo. She was always tellin' me not to walk on the flowers."
"And would complain to me about your big feet."
"Not a complaint I usually get, yo."
The conversation was halted by a knock at the door. Reno bounded off the bed in a burst of energy — that always astonished Tseng — to answer the door. The redhead swept the food out of the porter's hands and sat on the bed with the tray. The porter stood with the small folder waiting for the bill to be signed. Tseng rolled his eyes and went to take care of the bill.
He would have to clear the expense later anyway; this would make the paperwork a little easier to manage.
"These are good, yo. Tonnes of jalapenos and olives! The best!" Reno said as he dipped a goo-covered nacho into the salsa. "Yo, pour us each a drink of ice water with the shot of vodka in there. It'll cool our insides down and loosen ya up to put on a strip show for me."
Tseng walked over to the small counter where the porter had placed the water and bottle of vodka. "I'm not putting on a strip show."
"Jus' a li'l one. I won't play any porn music," Reno said around a mouthful of nacho.
"No."
"Killjoy," Reno muttered.
"I've been called worse," Tseng said as he mixed the simple drink, placing one on the end table within Reno's reach, and then going back to his stir fry. With Reno's mouth occupied with food, he was able to finish eating quickly and place it all back on the tray, which he would normally set outside the door. This time he decided to wait for Reno's dishes, as he was close to being done as well.
Tseng tasted the drink and he found it pleasant and not overpowering like he had been expecting. He couldn't imagine drinking it straight, but diluted with the ice water made it rather refreshing. He noted that Reno had finished his already. "Top up?" He asked as he pointed to his drink.
"After ya take yer top off," Reno said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.
Tseng started to take off his jacket. The alcohol did not do anything to warm the icy brick that he was feeling in his stomach. He was about to tell him his deepest and darkest secrets. "Reno, there are some things that I need to explain to you before I take off my shirt."
"Are ya gonna show me a bunch of crappy tatts? I know an artist that can fix 'em up, if that's why ya cover yerself up, yo." Reno dumped an ice cube in his mouth and crunched it as he looked on expectantly.
What was hidden under his shirt was the reason he didn't have relationships in which he shared beds. He didn't like to explain, and had spent his whole life hiding from his own skin. He was having some second thoughts about showing Reno what was under his shirt.
He trusted Reno with his life, but he didn't know if he could trust him with the scars that he had never shown anyone before.
If there had been anyone but Reno that had approached him, he would have grabbed them by the scruff of their neck and thrown them out the door. He trusted Reno. As much as the younger Turk could be a troublemaker, he was a good Turk, could hold his own in any battle, shoot as well as Tseng could, in addition to stand up in a brawl. He followed orders, even if he would gripe about it, and he was always loyal. Reno already had a piece of his heart, even if he hadn't told him.
"No tattoos," Tseng said, shaking his head and looking away from Reno's bright eyes. "There's nothing pretty about my body, Reno."
"I say ya wear that fitted shirt jus' fine, yo," Reno said as he wiped his mouth with the napkin again before tossing it in the garbage.
"It's not my form, it's my skin," Tseng whispered.
There were very few people that had seen the scars that colored his skin. Veld, Aerith, Gast, as well as a few choice medical personnel knew what his skin looked like. There was no one else that he had ever allowed to see how he looked under his suit.
"Ah. A funky birthmark? Yo, my tatt guy can do wonders." Reno started to play with the hem of his muscle shirt. Despite his light-hearted tone, there was some worry in his voice.
Tseng closed his eyes as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it aside. He started this so he was going to have to finish it now. Being closed off from all the current Turks had never been his plan, but that was what happened. He no longer had Veld, and did not have Veld to confide in for a very long time. His fingers shook as he started to work on the buttons of his shirt.
He knew each line, mark, dip, bulge, and discoloration that made his skin look like a patchwork quilt. Tseng nodded as he told Reno the story of why he stayed closed off from the rest of the world. He was glad that his voice stayed strong throughout his telling of a tale.
Reno was partly right on what was going on with his skin. There was a birthmark that had a large impact on his appearance. He had been born with a patch of white skin that stretched from his chest and across his stomach, right down to his right knee. It was a large birthmark that he discovered later in life could have been treated and minimized if it wasn't so damaged.
The mark wasn't white any longer, as his mama had had a violent, superstitious streak in her. After he was born, she had stated that the reason she could have no other children — as he was an only child — was because of evil spirits. His deformity was supposedly possessed with the souls of demons.
He hardly knew his father, as he only made a brief appearance in his life when he felt like it or wanted something. He was considered the 'deformed' child and it was too much for the man to deal with. Upon doing some research about his father later in life, Tseng discovered that his father had married another woman and had five other children. There were some half siblings out there that he had no desire to meet, as his father proved over and over again that he was not to be bothered.
His mama taught him how to read, write, perform math, and all the teachings that were expected for a Wutaian boy to learn. He even scored remarkably high on the placement exams that he was able to take when he was ten, instead of the normal age of sixteen.
It was a lonely life living with his mama, and he buried himself in his studies, because if he studied, he didn't have to worry about his mama fretting over the demon that was slowly taking over him.
She was convinced the birthmark was growing, and the demon was getting stronger. He tried his hardest to be a good boy so that his bad stuff wouldn't feed the demons, but according to his mama, he was inherently bad. But she had a plan to save him and to make him acceptable to be her son — acceptable to go into the world.
It was in the form of creams and acid that she used to purge him of the fiends that possessed the birthmark. Every night she would put something on his birthmark. If he didn't scream or cry — because she told him that was letting the demons win — the demons would leave him, and mama and papa would love him.
And he obeyed his mama.
He would lie in a tub, trying not to shout or yell as she dropped acid on his skin as she tried to burn the spirits out of him. It started out small; a few drops of acid along the edge to test it and to ensure that Tseng didn't scream loud enough to alert the neighbours. He chewed through three belts that his mama put in his mouth to stifle him.
Books were his escape. It was a time when he learned to ignore the pain and humiliation of the deformed skin that was splattered along his torso, hip and thigh. Different acids had turned his skin different colours. Nitric acid took the longest to hurt. The burn would turn yellow first, and then hurt and sting so hard that he would dig his nails into the palm of his hands. Sulphuric acid was used only twice, as it made the flesh knot and twist into white scars, and his mama took it that the demon was forming on his skin.
No one else had noticed him. He was the small boy that wore big clothes, was home schooled and no one knew if he knew how to even talk. He finally gained the attention of others when he took the secondary school placement exam.
It was more than his remarkable grade that put the small, shy boy in the spotlight; it was the blood that pooled around his feet as he wrote the test. He had been dressed in his heavy layer of oversized clothes along with a couple layers of heavy bandages to ensure that the demons would not be exposed to anyone and put them at risk. He didn't know what acid his mama used in his last treatment, but it had turned his skin an ugly black-brown that was painful to the touch. It took a long time to stop bleeding from the area where she had stripped skin off with a small metal grater.
The authorities came to the house and he was taken away. The first three months were very confusing for him, but he figured out what had been happening to him was very wrong.
He never knew or went to find out what happened to his mama, and he didn't miss her.
Doctors looked at his scars and his birthmark. He was given medicine and creams that he was scared to apply because he was certain that they were designed to remove the demon flesh from him. It took him a long time to trust the doctor that took care of him, and Gast was the only one that he had ever trusted.
While he was recovering, he was still being educated and found comfort in all the new courses and books, and he excelled and surpassed anyone at his age level. It was better than paying attention to anything that was going on in the various 'housing opportunities' that he was placed in.
He finally understood that there wasn't a demon trying to burst from him through the birthmark that he was born with. He felt shame for listening to his mama about the demons, and felt shame that his skin was so tortured for believing in something that he should have known was not true.
He forced himself to open his eyes and look at Reno. Closing his eyes was another way to hide. "The scars are quite extensive. There is, of course, the one that Sephiroth gave me, but that one had little significance compared to the rest that my own mama gave to me."
The redhead was remarkably quiet. Tseng finished the last button and let his shirt fall open. He didn't have the strength to shrug it off his shoulders, or even open it further to show Reno the worst of it.
"Shit," Reno finally whispered. "Holy hell. Are those acid burns?"
Veld had the same reaction as Reno was having now when he saw the marking and scars for the first time. Tseng didn't want to show him, but had no choice. The home that he was in had filed a complaint about Tseng. He had not felt comfortable showering or cleaning up in the house as they did not have locks on their doors. There had been many complaints about his smell. He didn't like being dirty, but he didn't want to chance anyone seeing his scars.
The confrontation forced him to explain the ordeal that he had been through and nearly caused him to break down. It caused his life to change dramatically as he moved in with Veld after that, and there were no more complaints about how he smelled, as he no longer had to worry about anyone seeing his scars.
When Gast was still around, he had gone for treatments that helped lessen some of the scars that were causing problems with movement of his legs. The healing helped ensure that there was no longer any tight tissue, but there was nothing that could be done about the lines and colours. It was less painful to keep them covered up, even when he was alone, so that he could pretend that he was normal.
Reno's tone was enough to make Tseng want to button up his shirt and send the redhead out of the room. His normally humour-filled gaze seemed to be burning through his damaged skin. He wanted to cover up again to hide the scars. The silence in the room hurt his ears, and his hands started to close the shirt.
"They are."
The sound of the bed sheets being rustled drew his eyes to Reno as he came closer. Tseng immediately pulled his shirt closed and recoiled, but the redhead was quick and placed his hand on his to stop him.
"Yer mam was a crazy bitch, yo!" Reno's words were harsh, but they were touched with compassion.
Tseng couldn't bring himself to speak anymore. The words were lost in his throat and he desperately wanted to pour himself another drink.
Reno smelled of cigarettes and sunscreen; it was a warm and pleasant smell. "Did I tell ya what my pa did to me when I fell asleep on him durin' a watch when I was ten?"
Reno put his hands to the red marks on his own cheeks and rubbed them. "He wanted to make sure that I never closed my eyes again, yo. Jus' 'bout cut my eyes out. Thankfully my uncle stopped 'im and took me to get some doc to put my face back together."
Tseng couldn't understand why Reno was still smiling. How could he smile after something like that?
"They did a good job of stitchin' me up, but I still had scars. Found me a great tatt dude."
"What happened to your father?" Tseng asked.
"My uncle shot 'im," Reno said, "and put him in an unmarked grave somewhere. I dunno. Dun miss the asshole for nearly takin' out my eyes."
Tseng reached up, gently putting his fingers on the red marks and noticing the scars hidden by the ink. "Must have hurt like hell."
"Not nearly as much as those must've hurt. Did she bathe ya in acid or somethin'?" The redhead reached to touch his side; a tender hand briefly touching the scars that he didn't let anyone touch. Tseng pulled back as if he was hurt, and had to get control of himself as he bumped into the table. No one but medical personnel had ever touched him, and the touch was startling intimate.
"Sorry. They still hurt?"
"No. I'm just not used to being touched." Tseng straightened up and tried not to show that he had been startled.
"Holy Minerva, yer ma really fucked ya up," Reno said and shook his head. "I guess that's one of the reasons ya became a Turk, yo."
"One of the reasons." He started to button up his shirt. "I hope that explanation was enough."
"Ya can wear a shirt and long shorts when ya go on the beach."
"I'm not comfortable ..."
"Ya've perfectly tailored gear for Rufus, ya can do the same for yerself, yo!" Reno pulled at the shirt so he could see the scar again. Tseng didn't fight him, even though he was fighting the urge to cover up. "Ya dun need to be alone 'cuz ya got hurt in the past."
"I don't like talking about them or looking at them." He held the shirt closed. He felt very cold and exposed. He wanted to do up his shirt again so that he could feel calm.
"Why? Yer alive." Reno grabbed his hands and started to force them apart; exposing the old wounds for his eyes. "Scars're proof that yer alive, survived, and made it. So fuckin' flaunt it and show the world that yer better than all the shit that tried to take ya down."
"It's not that easy," Tseng said, pulling completely away from Reno and turning his back to him and attempted to do the buttons up on his shirt with shaking fingers.
He wasn't able to do up a button with arms securely wrapped around him, and Reno pressed against his back. "Yer the strongest of us. Always have been. Showin' that ya've been low as we all've been at one point won't change that, yo."
"I'm good at my job. I'm not good at relationships," Tseng said. He failed with Aerith; miserably so. He failed so badly with that one that they ended up being enemies. Others, he didn't even try.
"Neither am I," Reno said into the nape of his neck. "We can suck together," he whispered and then after a small chuckle, said, "each other's dick, preferably, yo."
Tseng couldn't stop the laugh that burst out of his lips. Reno held him tighter and laughed with him.
"So, relax 'bout it. Lemme take care of ya for a change, and dun worry 'bout the scars. They're part of ya, and I like ya a li'l," Reno spoke into his hair and his hands wandered under his shirt.
Tseng couldn't help but roll his eyes. "A little?"
"Fuck, well, a lot." Reno pulled away from Tseng briefly so that he could turn around the dark-haired man. "And I'll like ya even more if ya take off yer pants, yo."
"Reno," Tseng breathed his name as he shook his head. "I'm flattered." He was going to have to turn him down, and didn't know how to do it gently. He couldn't have anything more than a fleeting relationship. That was the life he was doomed to lead.
Reno cut off any of his other words with a demanding kiss. The redhead's hands pulled on his shirt so that he couldn't get away ... and he didn't want to. He let himself get lost in the act; a kiss that he didn't want to end.
Reno knew how to kiss.
"Gonna reject me now, yo?" Reno stated smugly as he pulled out of the kiss, but didn't stop his hands from gently stroking his sides.
"We'll have to see how it works out."
"I'm willin' to give it a go. Do I get a raise for sleepin' with my boss?" Reno said and winked.
Tseng frowned. Reno's hands were still moving up and down his sides, and his face had a self-satisfied smile. He was the one that initiated the kiss this time, swooping in to capture his smirk, and replace it with his tongue. The moan that it elicited was worth it.
"You're going to have to earn any raise," Tseng teased.
The redhead's hands grabbed his shirt and tore it off his shoulders. "Dun worry about that, yo. I always earn my wage."
Reno knows a lot of guys that are good with Tat's... so does Rude.
XD.
So... this is my headcanon. I hope you enjoy it.
