Once upon a right now, there lives a little girl in a castle-
"One: I'm a thousand years, but I understand how you can get confused with my devilishly good looks. Two: I'm a man, you potato-eating bastard."
Oh yeah…
Hearing this I- the Narrator continues the story.
"Hey," the supposed little/thousand year-old girl/man speaks up again, "aren't you gonna correct them?"
No, the Narrator will not correct himself. Anyways-
"TELL THE READER I'M A GUY OR I SWEAR I'LL-"
Suddenly, a masked Prussian breaks into the castle and ties up the princess! Did I mention she's a princess? She's a princess.
But, who is this Prussian fellow? Why, his name is-
"AWESOME!"
Stfu, Gilbert.
"No, you promised I could be called 'Sir Awesome the Only' if I tied up Roma-"
NO SPOILING THE STORY FOR THE READER, GILBERT.
And… Fine, you can be 'Awesome.'
"That's because I am, West!"
Shuddap.
Ah. Yes, this fellow was named Sir Awesome the Only! Albeit, the title was given to him by himself, but that doesn't really matter, does it? No, Reader, it doesn't.
So, Awesome tied up the princess… Ah. Her name was…Rerrmanerr.
A muffled scream and an obnoxious laugh can be heard.
Anyways, after tying up Rerrmanerr, Awesome throws her over his shoulder and leaves the castle. Little did he know, he would soon have to return.
"How am I supposed to remember how to get back here?" he asks to himself- GILBERT, STAHP INTERRUPTING THE STORY.
"But how am I supposed to remember how, West?!"
ASDFGKL;
LEAVE FUCKING GUMFROPS OR SOMETHING.
IMG GILBERT WHY DO YOU HAVE GUMDROPS WITH YOU?
"I GET HUNGRY, OKAY?!"
FINE.
So, to remember his way back to the castle, Sir Awesome leaves… red gumdrops to lead him.
It didn't take him very long to return to his camp, where he found his younger brother starting a fire for the night.
This brother, named Lutz, is a very muscular and strong man with golden hair perfectly slicked back and beautiful, shining, blue eyes.
"For real?" asks Awesome. Lutz is confused, although he replies with an answer.
"Yes, of course. I am starting a fire to cook our dinner and keep us warm."
"That's definitely what I meant, bruder." Awesome lays Rerrmanerr on a log. "Lookey what I found in a castle: a princess!"
Lutz starts the fire and sits beside his brother.
"Wow!"
"Her name is Rerrmanerr… KESESESESESESESESE!"
SHUT UP GILBERT.
Awesome falls backwards, laughing and holding his stomach. Lutz looks into the sky with a puzzled look on his beautifully sculpted face.
"What are you looking, and laughing, at, brother?" he asks.
"ICH MEIN GOTT! WEST, STAHP!"
Even Rerrmanerr is laughing now.
GIL, ROMANO.
STAHP.
Awesome unties Rerrmanerr. Lutz enjoys the warmth and beauty of the fire.
"I'M FUCKING CRYING. THE POTATO BASTARD HAS BROUGHT ME TO FUCKING TEARS!" Rerrmanerr cries, while Lutz- YOU KNOW WHAT? NO MORE. THE STORY IS OVER. THE END.
