Title: Trust in Me
Characters: Mordin, Female Shepard
Pairing: Jane & Mordin Friendship with Kaidan/Jane - Background
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone/anything from the forum Mass Effect. Bioware owns Mass Effect and its characters. There is no copyright infringement intended. I do not make any profit/money or take any credit.
Summary: She doesn't know what to feel so she goes to the one person who tells her to have faith
Timeline: After Horizon
Warning: Slight Angst, Friendship Comfort
Author's Notes: This is a pre-sequel to 'Breathe for Me'. Replaying ME2 deepened my love for Mordin & Shepard's friendship.
'Trust in Me'
Mordin Solus was humming under his breath as he looked into the microscope, his hand picking up the pen and marking a note in his book while adjusting the scope. Proof that his experiment in able to cloak themselves from the Seekers worked left him thinking up new ideas on how to make it more effective, especially against Collectors.
He didn't even look up when he heard the faint the hiss of the door opening, indicating someone had entered. He knew who it was.
Commander Jane Shepard.
The young woman who had died when her ship had been attacked two years previously – he had heard of the news – and who was now currently working for Cerberus, an anti-alien, pro-human cell. He had been amused the company had sought him out but even more impressed by the woman who was gearing up for a possible suicide mission through the Omega 4 Relay.
"Am I interrupting?" her soft voice broke into his thoughts and he looked over his microscope to see her standing on the other side of the table looking very young and tired. Her hair, usually loose, was pulled back in a low pony-tail. She was currently wearing a hoodie that seemed to dwarf her and a pair of joggers that obviously once belonged to a man – her lover no doubt.
"No, no, just modifications to new ideas," he assured her, returning to his work. She gave a short nod before crossing the room to where the med-bed was and sat on it. She sighed and he looked in her direction before returning. "Hard seeing former lover on Horizon?"
She made a funny choking sound, alarming him as he turned fully in her direction, his work temporary forgotten. She was looking at him with wide eyes, her cheeks burning.
"How – what – I mean-" she trailed off, looking adorably flustered before she immediately shied into herself. "How did you know?" she whispered.
"Hm, deduction," he told her. She arched an eyebrow. "You embraced, both of you were happy to see each other and you faltered when he turned angry. You also worked with me on solution for stopping the Seekers when you heard he was in danger. Once all deductions were made, only answer left."
She stared at him, bewildered, and he took a small delight in seeing the Commander looking shocked. It was nice to see a different emotion, other than the blank look, on her face after what happened on Horizon. He didn't like seeing her so down.
She turned to her clasped hands in her lap and he turned back to his microscope, understanding she wasn't ready to talk about it. Despite what her former lover thought, she had only been alive for two months. Everything was too new and fresh for her to deal with.
He wasn't amused that rumours of Shepard working with Cerberus had gotten around already. Even Miranda Lawson hadn't been impressed and he would bet that she would be communicating to the Illusive Man to inform him that he had a leak.
Personally, Mordin thought the Illusive Man was the leak. The rumours had been around longer than Shepard had been 'awake' and he wondered what the final goal in the mysterious man's agenda was. He only hoped the young woman wouldn't be hurt in the long run but that was the optimistic thought.
Nothing good ever came out of working with the Illusive Man – that he sure of.
"Was it that obvious to everyone else?" he looked up to see that she was still looking at her hands.
"Hm, Miss Lawson is a smart woman. I gather she knows. But of the others, I am unsure." She sighed, nodding. "First time telling anyone?" she looked at him, surprise flickering across her features for a brief moment before she gave him a wry smile and nodded.
"Yeah, we were only together for a short time before I…died," the last word came out as a hushed whisper. He knew how she died, he had seen her medical records but not once had he dared to ask her what it was like. He didn't think anyone upon the ship would ask her.
"There is a picture of him up in my Quarters," she admitted before her shoulders slumped. "I guess we weren't as discreet as I hoped we were." She shook her head. "But then again, Cerberus has proven they can get information the Alliance can't," she muttered under her breath. Mordin hummed in agreement.
"Strange company," he told her. "But also effective when it comes to funding and information. One has to wonder – what's the human saying – how many pies he has fingers in?" Shepard giggled at Mordin's curious expression before he shrugged. "Good place to work on my theories."
He turned back to his work and she smiled fondly at him. She had gotten close to the Scientist after she recruited him. He reminded her of Kaidan in many ways but also reminded her of Tali, a friend she desperately missed and only had seen briefly on Freedom's Progress.
Even though she knew Garrus was on board, he wasn't happy with Kaidan at the moment and she didn't want to aggravate his mood. The two men had developed a bond during their search for Saren and right now, Garrus was hurting – not as much as her – but in his own way and she loathed hurting him even more.
Mordin was the safest one to come to. She was slow in trusting the others she has recruited but she wasn't up to pretending everything was fine. Here she was free to be herself no matter what and she knew Mordin wouldn't judge her.
"We got together during our search for Saren…" she hesitated for a moment before her breath hitched. "At first it was just flirting then it got serious, especially after we lost Ashley. I had to make a choice between the two of them…" She dropped her eyes to her hands and bit her bottom lip. "I chose him because I sent him with Kirrahe's team. I left Ash because she was with the bomb."
"Tough choice to make," Mordin agreed remembering his own choices that still lingered on. "Did the best you could." She nodded.
"They all said that, I said that," she agreed but she shook her head. "But I don't feel it, here," she lifted her hands to bring it over her heart. "I lost a good friend because I was put in an impossible situation. And now…they're asking me to do it again. Lead a team through the Omega relay to take out the Collector's base while knowing there is a very good chance that we won't make it back."
Her hands dropped, her head shaking as tears filled her eyes. "And all I can think is that I left things on bad terms with Kaidan. If I die, I'll never get to say how I really felt because TIM and the Alliance refuse to let me contact him."
Mordin wished there was something he could say to make the situation better but he knew; words were pointless in situations like this. You could say all you wanted, but it made no difference.
"Am I an idiot for still loving him when it's clear that he doesn't return the feelings?" she asked, a tear slipping free, and he tsked, moving closer to lean against the bed.
"Feelings are still there," he assured her, patting her shoulder in an awkward comforting manner. "He would not be angry if he did not feel the same." Her bottom lip trembled for a moment before she bit down on it, her eyes darting back to her hands.
"I wish he was here," she admitted in a low whisper before she shook her head. "Even though I know it means he would be betraying himself and I never want him to do that, I still wish-"
"-It is logical to wish he was here," Mordin assured her. "He had your back the first time; it's natural to hope he would have your back this time."
She turned to look at him once more, her head tilting in a scrutinizing fashion.
"You remind me of him," she told him with a sad smile. "You both have that insane fascination for Omni-tools," she chuckled, shaking her head. "You have that same aura – the same calmness – that makes me feel I can just stop and breathe. I feel I can be Jane Shepard for a moment before returning to 'Commander Shepard'." She suddenly looked older than her age, possibly due to everything that was happening returning to her.
And it scared him. He knew of the risks going through the Omega Relay and hitting the Collectors' base but he believed in her. He had heard of her exploits and knew that she would bring them a victory but not once had he thought she didn't believe in herself for these things.
He couldn't let that happened, he refused and suddenly, he knew what to say.
"Will defeat the Collectors and Reapers," he told her suddenly. "Then you can prove to him that you are still the same Shepard he knows and love."
She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him. He paused for a moment, unsure what to do before he settled for patting her back.
"Thanks, Mordin." He cleared his throat as she let him go and gave her a brisk nod.
"No thanks needed," he assured her. She smiled, obviously amused by his flustered appearance. "Can sleep here, if you wish. Know you still have a hard time with your quarters."
"Thank you," she whispered, watching him return to his work as she lay down on the bed, curling as she closed her eyes. She listened to him hum under his breath before it lulled her to sleep.
Mordin was pleased to see her fall asleep before he made another note on his data-pad. He had a feeling everything would work out with the two lovers, all she needed was a little faith.
Besides, he was sure he could have a little chat with Miss Lawson and see if it was possible to send proof that Shepard had been dead the two years he had grieved for her.
The End
Yes, Mordin and my Fem-Shepard are best buddies ^^'
