Eight year old Samantha Puckett was hungry. The problem was that her mother didn't pack her lunch this morning. She had told Sam that she was old enough to pack her own lunch. Sam, naturally, argued that she was only a little girl and the other kids in her class didn't pack their own lunches. Her mom had an ace in the hole, however. Sam's identical twin sister, Melanie, had been packing her own lunch since the beginning of the year, and if she could do it, why couldn't Sam?

Looking around her third grade class, Sam quickly spotted the solution: the new girl. Ms. Briggs had said her name was Carlotta or something like that. She looked prissy and soft, an easy mark. Sam idly wondered what she had brought for lunch. It didn't really matter, though. Sam would eat pretty much anything.

It was one of those rare days when it wasn't raining in Seattle, so the students were allowed to go outside for lunch. Sam walked over to the new girl and politely introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sam"

The skinny brunette looked up at her and smiled. She had a really nice smile. "Hi, I'm Carly."

Carly, that's a nice name. Much less stuck-up than Carlotta, Sam thought. She wasn't about to be deterred from her mission, though. "Can I have that sandwich?" she asked the other little girl.

"No way, get your own!" Carly replied, as indignantly as an eight year old can get.

Sam didn't reply, she simply pushed the slender girl off the bench and took the sandwich anyway. It was tuna salad, one of Sam's favorites. She was just about to bite into the fishy goodness when she, herself, was pushed to the ground. She looked up to see Carly reclaiming her sandwich. This girl has guts, Sam thought, but no one pushes Sam Puckett. She jumped up, ready to fight, when the brunette looked at her and smirked.

Even smirking, Carly's smile was beautiful and her eyes were mesmerizing. This girl might be okay after all. She opened her mouth to tell Carly that, but was immediately cut off by a loud shriek from behind her: "Samantha Michelle Puckett, don't you dare hit that girl!"

Sam turned to face her identical twin. "I wasn't gonna, I swear. She's cool."

"Yeah, sure," Melanie replied. "I know you better than that." Melanie turned to the brunette in question. "Hi, I'm Melanie Puckett, and you've obviously met my evil twin, Samantha."

Carly smiled at Melanie. "Thanks. I think you just saved me. Want to sit with me?"

"Sure," Melanie said, sitting down and pulling items out of her own lunch bag. She looked at her twin. "Sam, you sit here too, where I can keep you out of trouble."

Sam almost walked away in a huff, just to get away from the princess, but something about Carly was enticing, so she sat. Sitting with Melanie meant sitting with Carly. She looked at her new acquaintance, who smiled back at her. "Sorry," Sam began, surprisingly contrite, "I was hungry and Mom didn't pack me a lunch."

Carly frowned. That was kind of sad. "We can go halfsies. I wasn't going to eat it all anyway."

Sam perked up, but she was cut off by her twin. "Don't encourage her," Melanie said to Carly. "Mom wants her to make her own lunch, just like I do. Maybe she'll listen if she has to go hungry a day or two."

"My brother still packs mine," Carly argued, "but I'm not going against your mother's wishes. Sorry Sam." she finished, looking at the hungrier blonde.

Melanie turned to her new friend, "Just curious, but why does your brother pack your lunch?"

"Well," Carly explained, "Spencer's my legal guardian. He's twenty-one and lives in his own apartment. My mother died last year and my dad's in the Air Force, stationed overseas. It was either him or my boring grandfather in Yakima."

"Well, Carly, I'm glad to meet you, even under the circumstances," Melanie replied, glaring at her sister.

Melanie and Carly continued to talk for the rest of the lunch period, like they'd known each other forever. Sam occasionally tried to get a word in edgewise. Carly seemed receptive to Sam, but she clearly had more in common with Melanie. Sam kind of felt like the odd girl out.


Fourteen year old Samantha Puckett sat in her room watching the laptop she and her twin sister shared. She was watching this week's live broadcast of iCarly, a web show that starred her sister, and more importantly, Carly Shay. Sam was still a little pissed off that they didn't include her in the show. The show wouldn't have existed without her, after all. About a year ago, Sam had used Photodock to digitally graft Ms. Brigg's head onto a rhinoceros, and distributed copies of the picture to her class. Unfortunately, she got caught. Melanie didn't want her little sister to get suspended, so she claimed responsibility. As punishment, Melanie was forced to film the school's talent show auditions. Of course, she got her best friend to go with her. They even had to drag Carly's nubby neighbor, Freddie, along, since neither of them had a working video camera. The two of them had apparently been making snide comments about the participants, as well as Ms. Briggs herself, and the dork had uploaded the wrong video. It turned out that Carly had excellent comedic potential. Melanie, while not exactly a comic genius, made a good straight man for Carly's humor. They decided to start their own web show. With the nubby neighbor as their technical producer, it turned out to be a big hit, getting over 24,000 views the first week, with ratings going up from there.

Sam had been asked to appear on the show exactly twice. The first time was to prove that she could, indeed, eat an entire ham in fifteen minutes. The second time was to prove that she was real. After her first appearance, some of the viewers had written comments saying that she was a fake perpetrated by Freddie's special effects. The fans even began calling her "Mythical Sam." Her second appearance dispelled the myth.

This particular episode featured Carly and Melanie in bathing suits, while Freddie used a green screen to make it look like they were at the beach. Sam stared at the lovely brunette on the screen. Sam had recently come to terms with the fact that boys held no interest for her. Unlike most of the boy-crazy girls at Ridgeway, she was attracted to girls. Thanks to long nights surfing the internet, she understood that she wasn't unique, there were other women – and men – who were attracted to their own gender, and that her own preference was probably a secret best kept to herself for now. Sam also realized that the girl she was most attracted to was her sister's best friend, Carlotta Taylor Shay. The skinny brunette held an almost magical appeal for her, as though they were destined to be soul mates. Sam began to daydream about Carly without the bikini she was currently wearing.

By the time Sam snapped out of it, the show had ended. She knew Mel would be spending the night at Carly's. She always did after the show. This meant Sam would have the room all to herself. Running her finger across the trackpad, she closed the web browser and started digging through folders. She wasn't as technical as Freddie, but she knew how to hide stuff on the computer. She quickly found the file she was looking for. It was a porn video she had downloaded months ago. It showed two girls, one skinny and brunette, and the other blonde and more voluptuous, having sex with each other. Sam liked this video in particular because not only did the girls bear more than a passing resemblance to Carly and herself, but unlike most of the cheesy porn she had seen, these girls actually looked into each others' eyes and seemed to genuinely care about each other. Sam knew it was probably all an act, but it certainly helped her fantasies.

Within moments, Sam's shorts and boxers – she hated panties, even the mention of the word – were at her knees and her hand was between her legs. In her mind, this was no longer two nameless girls on the internet, it was her and Carly performing these acts on each other. "I love you, Carly" she whispered as she neared her climax. When she reached her peak, she screamed out Carly's name as loud as she dared.

It was Friday night and her mother, Pam, was probably drunk on the couch, but in case she wasn't passed out yet, Sam didn't need her coming in asking questions she wasn't prepared to answer. Melanie could be dating boys, girls, convicted sex offenders, or even Bigfoot; and Pam Puckett would be supportive. Sam, however, was simply the "other twin" and nothing she ever did was good enough. While she'd never do anything to Melanie in anger, Pam wasn't above smacking Sam around just for the hell of it. Sam didn't need to give her ammunition.


Sixteen year old Samantha Puckett sat at the lunch table with her best friend turned girlfriend, Wendy Miller. The girls had started dating about six months ago. The fiery redhead had been Sam's closest friend and partner-in-crime since middle school, and Sam had eventually confided in her that she was attracted to girls. Wendy, who had been going through her own similar identity crisis, ended up going from friend and confidant to partner and lover. The two girls had come out to their families when they started dating, going so far as to start wearing matching rainbow colored rings. Wendy's family had been supportive of their daughter's choice. Sam's mother and sister, not so much. Whenever Sam tried to bring up Wendy or their relationship to Pam or Melanie, they would simply change the subject and pretend the relationship didn't exist.

Melanie had been particularly hard on Sam when she first came out, going so far as to change clothes in the bathroom so Sam wouldn't see her naked. Sam eventually pointed out that they were identical twins, and if she really wanted to see Melanie naked, all she had to do was put her hair in her sister's signature ponytail, and look in the mirror. Even now, six months later, Melanie still tried to avoid social encounters involving her sister or her sister's partner. They were on speaking terms, but the relationship was clearly strained.

Sam looked across the cafeteria where her slightly older sister and her best friend sat. Even though Sam was dating Wendy, she still couldn't get thoughts of Carly Shay out of her mind. Wendy fulfilled Sam's emotional and physical needs, but something was still missing. Sam wanted Wendy to be the missing piece of her soul. She loved Wendy and she wanted that with all of her heart, but she knew it wasn't to be. The person who could truly complete Sam sat across the cafeteria with her identical twin. She also knew that a relationship with Carly would never be, either.

Carly was straight. She'd had a string of relationships going back two years, since Spencer agreed to let her date. Sam remembered three of them clearly. First there was Griffin. For a guy, Griffin was pretty cool, with his scars and criminal record, but then it turned out he collected Pee-Wee Babies. Even Freddie wasn't that much of a sissy. Carly dumped him shortly after she found out. Then there was Adam, a guy she'd started dating after Webicon. After Mel, Carly, and Freddie had inadvertently started a fan war between the Creddies (who thought Carly and Freddie should be together) and the Felanies (who thought Freddie and Melanie should), they'd rescued Adam from a crazed mob. Sam thought they should have left him to the fans. The boy was so self-absorbed, he didn't know how to properly treat a lady like Carly, and she ended up dumping him after 2 months. Most recently was Steven, a guy Carly had dated for three months. He turned out to be cheating on her with some girl in California, and she'd broken it off by text message when pictures got out on the internet. It was clear to Sam that no guy deserved Carly. She needed someone to treat her properly.

Carly, for her part, had been remarkably supportive of Sam after she came out. On those rare occasions when Sam was permitted to spend time with her sister's friends, Carly was always asking her about how her relationship with Wendy was going. It made Sam happy to have at least one person in her life, besides her girlfriend, of course, who didn't treat her like scum just because of her sexual preference.

Sam was startled out of her reverie by the approach of her sister and the brunette object of her thoughts. Melanie looked at Sam and Wendy with a mixture of detachment and disgust, but Carly was all smiles. "Hey Sam! Hey Wendy!" she greeted the couple. "Sam, how would you like to be on iCarly on Friday? We were thinking of another 'Englishman who was a Terrible Father' skit and wanted you to be Fuffley's long lost twin, Puffley." She turned to Sam's partner, "Wendy, you're welcome to come and watch the show live, of course."

Wendy spoke first, "I wish I could, but we're going to my grandparents' house in Olympia this weekend." She turned to her girlfriend, "You should do it, though, babe. I can watch you from Grandpap's computer and it'll be like you're with me."

Sam felt a little guilty, but she was kind of happy her little redhead wouldn't be there. She didn't want Wendy to see her drooling over Carly. She smiled back at the brunette, "Sure, I love being on iCarly." Just then the bell rang. Sam leaned over and kissed her girlfriend, noting and enjoying the reaction it provoked in Melanie. "I'll see you later, sexy." she whispered, loud enough for the two iCarly girls to hear. She was glad to see that Carly's only reaction was a single raised eyebrow.

Thursday afternoon, Sam and Wendy went with the trio back to Carly's house so Sam could rehearse for Friday night's broadcast. When she read the script, she saw that as Melanie and Carly had written it, the Englishman had given Puffley up for adoption because he already had one daughter and "didn't need a spare." She realized immediately that her sister had written that part, and she was sure Melanie – and Pam - felt that way about her. Melanie was the perfect twin, and Sam was the crap that came along with her. Suddenly she felt the need to throw up. She ran from the studio toward the bathroom. Wendy cast an apologetic glance at the trio, as well as Gibby, who was there playing the Englishman, and ran after her girlfriend.

By the time she caught up with Sam, Wendy could hear her partner sobbing loudly in the bathroom. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. She called through the door, "Sammie, it's me sweety. Let me in." She heard the door unlock and quickly slipped inside. She knew the tough blonde had a reputation to uphold and didn't want anyone else to see her crying.

"Wen, she thinks I'm a side effect. Like in that movie with Arnold and the little guy from Taxi. Mom, too. Melanie's her perfect daughter, and I'm just 'the other one,'" Sam moaned.

"Sam, honey, you're blowing this all out of proportion," Wendy cooed, sweetly. "The Englishman's supposed to be terrible father. That doesn't mean your sister feels that way about you."

This calmed Sam down enough that she was able to go back and continue rehearsing. When the rehearsal was over, she walked Wendy to her house and kissed her goodbye, knowing her red haired partner wouldn't be in school tomorrow. She knew that she should consider herself lucky to have Wendy to love, but something still felt wrong. Wendy, as great as she was, wasn't the person Sam was supposed to be with. She tried to deny it, but she could feel it with every fiber of her being.

The next night, Sam arrived at Bushwell Plaza extra early for the webcast. As she walked through the lobby she heard the creepy doorman grumble something like, "Oh great, there's another one." She ignored him and went to the elevator, but his comment didn't help her mood any. As she walked to the door of 8C, she could hear Freddie arguing with his mom about "double poo-ing." Sam was sure she didn't want to know what that was all about, but she was happy that she'd beat the nub there. Sam knocked on the door and was greeted by Carly's older brother.

Spencer Shay had a soft spot for the younger Puckett twin. Melanie had been Carly's best friend for eight years, and he loved the blonde like another sister. However, he didn't share her feelings about Sam's sexuality. Spencer was an artist, and he had some close friends in the art community who were gay. Some of them had been treated poorly by their families, and it hurt him to see someone he knew repeating the cycle. He immediately saw Sam's mood, and did his best to try and lighten it, Spencer Shay style. "Hey, my little Clone Warrior, why so glum?"

In her mind, Sam knew the man-child didn't mean anything by his comment, but it was just another reminder that everyone saw her as Melanie 2.0, and an inferior copy, no less. She choked down the bile that was rising in her throat, and simply asked, "Mel and Carly upstairs?"

"Yeah, they're up in the studio. Just take the elevator."

Sam did as instructed, slumping back in the elevator on the short ride up. So many emotions were running through her head right now, and everything seemed out of whack. Sam was usually strong and confident, so why did she feel so bad now? She came to the conclusion that life simply sucked right now.

What she saw when she got off the elevator made life suck even more. Carly and her sister were sitting in the car prop, lips mashed together. Melanie's shirt and bra were pushed up and Carly was slowly caressing the blonde's left breast. The two of them jumped when they heard Sam gasp, Melanie vainly trying to cover herself. Sam turned and walked immediately out the door.

She walked slowly down the steps, conflicting emotions battering her soul. She was with Wendy, who was a great girl, right. So why did she feel a stabbing in her chest with every step she took? Why did she feel so betrayed by her sister? And what the fuck was going on with Carly and Melanie?

Her tears were flowing freely when she reached the bottom of the steps. She noticed someone sitting at the kitchen table. She looked to see who it was, not wanting Spencer to see her crying like this. She was confused to see that sitting at the table was a scaly green monster, eating a bowl of soup.

One thought sprang to the front of her mind, fueling intense anger and hatred. That is MY soup!

Sam ran across the room and tackled the scaly creature. As they hit the floor...


Twenty-four year old Samantha Puckett awoke with a start. It was dark in her bedroom, but she could still make out the face of her girlfriend looking down at her with concern.

"Sammie, honey, what's wrong?" her partner asked.

"Melanie stole Carly from me... I was dating Wendy, and I was never on iCarly. And the Soup Monster was there" Sam mumbled, still confused.

"Baby, you had a bad dream, that's all. You know the Soup Monster's not real. Maybe you'd better tell me about this dream."

"Well," Sam began, "Melanie never went away to school, so everyone was comparing me to her. She messed up everything in my life, but she was perfect and I was just the 'other twin."

"Mama, you know better than that," Carly Shay replied. "Melanie's a wonderful girl, but you, my darling, are something very special."

Something about the way Carly looked at her with those big brown eyes made Sam feel more secure, but the dream had still been very unnerving. "Melanie messed up when we first met, and she became your best friend, then she hated me because I was gay, but at the end she was kissing you."

"Sammie, your sister helped bring us together. Why would she hate you? And she's been married to Freddie for two years now. I don't think she's going to be coming after me any time soon," Carly laughed. "And what about Wendy? I haven't seen her since high school. Does she even like girls? And should I be jealous?"

Sam was calmer and more together now. She turned on the trademark Puckett charm. "No, Cupcake, nothing at all to be jealous about. Even in the dream, I was dating Wendy, but you were the one I was in love with."

"That's good, Mama," Carly replied sternly, "because you are mine and mine alone, just like I am yours and yours alone. We have the rings to prove it." With that, Carly leaned down and kissed her passionately.

Sam smiled contentedly. She looked up at her partner, "I love you Carly, forever and always."

"I love you too, Sam," came the reply.

"Good night, Cupcake."

And with that, Samantha Puckett, age 24, drifted back into a contented, peaceful sleep, safe in the arms of her wife.