Hi! After a long time I've finally written another Merthur oneshot! As always, I'm not native speaker so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. This fanfic is a sad in the beginning, but the end is happy with a lot of Merthur, I promise! I hope you'll like it :)

Warning: I'm not sure if I rated this right. I rated it T, but just in case, prepare for blood in the first few paragraphs. If you make it to the end, there's a Merthur kiss waiting for you, sorry/not sorry for spoilers ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, unfortunately.

WAKING UP

.

Everything was quiet. The blood on his fingers was being washed away by the water near the waterfall and the tears on his cheeks were dripping down on Arthur's motionless face. At first he couldn't breathe, but then he was suddenly breathing way too quickly.

No. No, it couldn't be true. Arthur was very much alive just a few minutes ago, he couldn't have been... he just couldn't.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered. His voice was weak and so were his trembling hands. "Arthur?" He shook Arthur's head, but his friend didn't respond. He was still warm, he couldn't be dead, he couldn't. "Arthur!" Merlin cried and when Arthur stayed still, Merlin let out a sob.

He quickly looked around and saw several men, lying all around him. They were all dead, but he couldn't remember what had happened. He didn't even want to remember, all that mattered was that he had failed. He had failed to protect Arthur, and this? This was all his fault.

"Arthur, wake up!" Merlin tried one more time, but Arthur didn't even stir in his arms. "No!" Merlin sobbed and pulled Arthur close, holding his shoulder with his chin as he cried and couldn't stop. Nothing mattered anymore. His life was... meaningless. His magic was for nothing, he had no reason to use it now. All that power in him, and he yet couldn't protect him. Save him.

Everything felt so real. The pain, the grief and the cold. His trembling fingers covered in Arthur's blood – cold. Arthur's face and his silver armour - cold. Everything was so cold and he couldn't stop crying.

"No!"

xoXÖXox

He gasped and sat up in his bed, tossing the blanket away. Has he been asleep? Was Arthur's death only a dream? But it felt so real, so impossibly real... Did that mean Arthur was alive? He hoped so, but for now, he was still breathing fast and looking around the room. He was so confused.

The candle by his bed was lit. Did he do that with his magic or was it lit the whole night? Was it already morning? Was it still night? When did he even go to sleep? He couldn't remember anything and that was what scared him and something felt wrong. He carefully and slowly stood up and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

Arthur was alive. It was only a nightmare, everything was fine. He really wanted to believe that.

He looked around and smiled slightly. He was safe, in his room in Camelot. Everything was okay and that horrible dream was truly just a dream. Merlin smiled and yawned. He felt so tired and... and hot. He must have been sweating while sleeping and now his shirt was a bit wet. He went to open the window to let some cold fresh air in and then he changed into a new shirt.

He went back to his bed and covered himself with his blanket. It wasn't that wet, it was fine to use again, but soon Merlin groaned. He was so thirsty. He rolled his eyes and stood up again, closing the window. It was beginning to be very cold in his room. Then he went to the main room and smiled. He always loved Gaius' quarters. It was so full of books and knowledge, even though the books were mostly boring to him, they were all useful to Gaius.

Merlin went to the table and poured himself some water in a cup. Then he drank it and sighed. He glanced to Gaius' bed to see if he hasn't woken the old man up, but... Gaius wasn't there.

"Gaius?" Merlin called, but no one answered and then that funny feeling returned. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. The feeling of panic slowly grew in him as he looked around the room, but couldn't find his mentor. "No." He shook his head.

Then he quickly ran outside and down the stairs, until he reached the courtyard. He stopped and looked around. It was empty. Not even the guards were there. He heard a bird up in the sky and looked up. Then the panic really hit him.

The castle was damaged. There were holes in the white walls around the courtyard, windows were shattered and some towers were missing. When Merlin looked around him, there were big pieces of white wall on the ground with stones, white ashes and one or two skeletons. The grass was dead and colourless and the well was gone and when Merlin instinctively looked at Arthur's window... the whole side of the castle was torn out, leaving a big hole in it instead.

Merlin swallowed and ran his hand through his tousled hair. He could have sworn he'd seen Camelot like this before, but he didn't know when. Was this still a dream? Was this real? There was no way he could have slept through a battle this big. There was no way Gaius would have left him there while everyone else left. If they weren't already dead. And if they were, then why was he still alive?

"Merlin?"

Merlin turned around so fast that he almost fell over. Someone called his name, he knew it. He heard it.

"Merlin!"

And again! He couldn't see anyone though, all he felt was the cold wind and tears on his wet face. He could hear his own heart beating so fast that he was almost worried he'd die right there. Killed by shock and fear and panic and the cold and-

"Merlin!"

Who was calling him? What was happening? Why was everything so cold and white? Where were the stars? He couldn't see the stars. Was it day or was it night? Why was the bird awake if it was night? Why was he in Camelot? What was he doing there? Why was he alive when everyone was dead? Where was Arthur?

"Merlin wake up damn it!"

His voice. He knew that voice. Arthur's voice. Where was he? Everything was so white. "Arthur!" And then suddenly-

snap.

It was dark and it was warm and there was someone's arm around his bare torso. He felt someone's breath on his neck. "Merlin? Are you alright?" It was Arthur.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered and grabbed Arthur's arm, turning around to face him. He could only see his eyes in the dark, but he knew it was him. He remembered everything now. He knew what was going on.

"Merlin, you had another nightmare." Arthur whispered and entwined their fingers, running his thumb up and down the back of Merlin's hand. Merlin felt himself nodding and then two strong arms enveloped him in a tight hug. He laid his head on Arthur's shoulder and felt the hot tears streaming down his face, wetting Arthur's skin. "Shh, it's alright." Arthur whispered into his dark hair and kissed the top of his head.

Merlin embraced Arthur and started sobbing. His heart was still beating pretty damn fast and inside, he still felt a bit panicky. Arthur was helping a lot though. He always has been.

It's been three months since Arthur came back. After a thousand years, Merlin heard the voices in his head that told him to come to the lake. And when he saw Arthur, slowly rising from the water, he couldn't have been happier.

Soon after Merlin showed Arthur the modern world and his apartment, they started dating. Only then Arthur found out about Merlin's nightmares. At first, Merlin refused to tell Arthur what he was dreaming about, but then when Arthur kept asking, Merlin finally gave in and told him. It helped to talk about it. Mostly.

"What was it this time?" Arthur asked quietly when he felt Merlin had calmed down a bit. They were still hugging though.

"About the old times." Merlin told him and tightened the hug. "I held you in my arms and you were dead, Arthur." Merlin whispered. He felt another tear roll down his cheek and he sniffled.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Arthur told him and wrapped the white blanket around them with one hand to keep them warm. He figured they'd stay like that a long time – in an embrace.

"I know." Merlin said. "But I want to." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I saw Camelot." He whispered with pain in his voice. He always smiled when they were talking about their home, but not this time. This time it was different. "After you died, I went away to Ealdor and stayed there a couple of years and then I returned to Camelot and lived there. Gwen made me a court sorcerer." A tiny smile appeared on his face, but then it disappeared. He's already told Arthur about his time after the battle of Camlann, now it was time to talk about the dream. "I didn't see that Camelot though." He started. "I saw the end of Camelot. I remember when I saw it like that. I went away for a couple of years again, after everyone from our time was already dead and when I returned... everyone was gone. Dead. And the castle was a ruin."

"Shh." Arthur whispered when he felt Merlin tightened the hug again. There was silence for a few minutes and then Merlin took a deep breath and pulled away. Arthur unwillingly let go and looked into Merlin's eyes.

"Thank you." Merlin whispered. "For being here for me."

"I'll always be there for you, Merlin." Arthur smiled. "Sorry for not being here for a thousand years." He added and Merlin rolled his eyes.

"I told you not to apologize for that."

"I know, but I still feel guilty." Arthur answered and squeezed Merlin's shoulder.

"Then don't." Merlin smiled and put his hand on top of Arthur's. Then he leaned forward and gave Arthur a little kiss on his cheek. Arthur moved his head and captured Merlin's lips, deepening the kiss and smiling.

"You're still a clotpole, you know that?" Merlin chuckled when he pulled away before Arthur managed to kiss him again.

"And you're an idiot." He said and kissed him one more time. Then they both lay down in the bed again.

"Maybe I am." Merlin smiled as he put his head on Arthur's chest. "But I'm your idiot." He whispered and closed his eyes. Arthur chuckled and kissed the top of Merlin's head again.

Then they both fell asleep, and dreamt about Camelot. Not the ruin that Merlin saw in the 15th century, but their Camelot. Full of people and laughter and happy faces of their long lost friends.

*The End*