Broken clockwork heart
Chapter 1
He lay there motionless. His skin, as white as snow. His lips, as blue as ice. James Carstairs is getting weaker everyday. I thought he would get better; I thought we could find a cure, but there is none. My hands are shaking, covered in the blood that he coughs up. Blood and sweat surround the bed. I hold him in my arms, feeling his slow heart beat. He starts coughing and blood pours down his chin. It is a loud and crackly noise. I hate this. I hate watching the man I love slowly disappear. I hate how I can't do anything. His coughing gets louder and more blood covers his face. I am shaking so hard. I try to relax him but it is no use. He has never been this bad before. I jump of the bed and run into the hallway. I nearly trample over Will. I watch him for a moment. He is sleeping on a chair outside Jem's room. He hasn't left Jem's side in over three weeks; He has been sleeping on the chair for a month now. I watch him. He is very handsome. With black hair, blue eyes and full lips. I kissed those lips once. No, this was no time to think about Will. I shake him harshly until he wakes. He looks at my blood covered face and arms and runs into the room. He kneels in front of the bed.
"Jem, Jem listen to me, were going to get through this" Will says with teary eyes.
"Will, its no use, I.. I ..ccc…can't take it any…more" Jem says , I look at him with tears streaming down my face.
" What do you ever mean Jem? No, no , listen to me, you are not dying like this, not now, not here, you will not die , do you understand" I say while I hold his hands and all my tears stream onto his face.
I can't breathe, I can't think. Jem can't die, I love him so much, and we've only been together for so long. We are not even married yet. I love this Man. I will turn mad without him. He has helped me and has been nothing but kind to me.
"Tessa, my love, please look at me; don't cry for me, for this was meant to be" Jem said
"No, No, please, don't say that Jem, I love you, I want to be with you, I can't ever imagine a life without you" I begin to cry, he curls my head onto his chest.
"Tessa being with you was the most amazing thing my life has ever experienced, you made me happy while I suffered from my sickness, you brought me back to life for a certain amount of time, I love you Theresa Gray, I want to leave this earth with you knowing that, I am sorry Tessa, I'm sorry that I couldn't be the man you wanted me to be" he said, I look at him angrily.
"How, how ever could you say that? Jem you are an amazing man, you are perfect, any woman would be crazy not to love you" I said, I turned to see Will who was standing at the end of the bed; he didn't dare to meet my gaze. His eyes were red and swollen from tears. Jem coughs again and again. He coughs until he can no longer breathe. Me and Will sit around him on the bed. We both hold his hands. I cry and scream until I can't speak. I lie beside Jem. I can feel his heart slowly fading. I grab his bloody face and kiss him one last time. I feel every bit of him, I never want this kiss to end. He starts to move his lips along mine and drags his fingers into my hair. We are both breathless and covered in blood and sweat. We don't care that Will is watching.
"You are beautiful James Carstairs, I love you" I whisper to him not letting go of the kiss, then I hear
" I love you Theresa Gray" right after his heart stops its final beat.
2 weeks later
