Sister Ruth hadn't ever felt human loss so keenly.

She wasn't without human companionship. Michaela and Sully had welcomed her into their home with such love in their hearts she might have been their aging aunt, but she didn't see herself living out the rest of her life knitting and telling stories of the old days like her life was already over, no matter how much she loved the family.

She supposed the logical thing to do would have been to take her revival back out on the road, but she didn't seem to have the heart for it anymore. How could a woman in sore need of a revival and healing herself help other people?

She opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She was standing in Colorado Springs' graveyard in front of the headstone with Kid Cole's name on it and the words "Beloved Sheriff" underneath it. The town had put it up in his honor when they'd heard of his death though his body rested in the town where they'd shared their home. It was a fitting tribute from the town and fitting to her as this was the place where they'd first met, but she didn't feel any closer to him here than she did at his real burial site; he was just as silent and far away wherever she put herself on the earth.

She wondered for a moment if Kid Cole had been right in that it would have been easier for her if he'd divorced her instead of telling her that he was dying. She would have believed that he was still living at least. She quickly banished the thought. Not only would she have not given their last year together away for anything, but she knew he had no choice but to leave her, a better thought than thinking he chose to leave her.

She looked to the heavens and shouted her questions. "Why, God? Why would You bring him into my life for a few short years and then take him away from me? Why didn't You heal him? You could have! You've healed so many people. Why couldn't You have healed him too?"

The anger was spent for now and tears of grief coursed down her cheek in its place until she heard footsteps behind her. She quickly wiped the tears away before she turned around, a useless gesture as it turned out because the visitor couldn't have seen them anyway.

"Reverend, what a nice surprise. Were you looking for me?"

"I was as a matter of fact. You generally make it very easy to find you, Sister Ruth, a joy to a blind man I assure you."

Sister Ruth chuckled in spite of herself. "I don't know if I should be thanking you for that compliment as you're in affect calling me loud-mouthed, but I'll take it anyhow."

"I've asked Him that question many times in the past, the famous why question. Why did You take my sight away? Why won't You restore my sight? Why can't You make this life easier for Your children?"

"And has He answered you yet?"

"Not completely, no, but He will sooner or later, I'm sure."

"What did you want to see me about?" Sister Ruth asked.

"I was wondering if you would speak at the service this Sunday."

"Now I'm not so sure that's a good idea at the moment. God can more than handle my anger against Him right now, but I'm not so sure the good people of Colorado Springs can."

He smiled reassuringly. "I understand, and if you need to talk about anything at all, I make a pretty good listener. I know you're unsure about what God has planned for you next, but I know one thing, Sister Ruth, Colorado Springs had better get prepared because I think you're about to shake things up in this town again."

"I've never shaken anything up," Sister Ruth protested. "That's the Holy Ghost moving."

"You may be right, but you are His willing instrument, and when you allow God to work through you anything can happen and usually does." The reverend walked away on those words, his cane showing him the sure ground.

Sister Ruth closed her eyes and prayed her first unangry prayer since Kid Cole had passed away. "Lord, if that's so, if You have something for me to do here then let me be Your instrument because more than anything I need a purpose again."