Dear Diary,

Well, yesterday was my birthday. And, instead of having a "morning after an awesome night" buzz/hangover, I'm enjoying the fact that I'm even alive. So, Elena, Matt, and Bonnie decided to throw me this awesome, but sort of weird birthday party/funeral thing when I turned down their first party. Yeah, I know; a funeral on your birthday, Caroline? Well, they thought it would help me come to terms with being an undead dead person. It might have worked, too, if I hadn't almost died again. And, when I say "died" I mean REALLY died. Like, dead and not coming back. Okay, let me explain… I was at my party/funeral thing in the old graveyard, totally drunk by the way, and I decided to text Tyler. Just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't still be friends, right? Well, that's what I thought… until we started making out in the woods. But, he… he bit me. He gave me, the one person he's supposed to care about other than Klaus, a fatal hybrid bite. I know it was probably some weird sire thing… but still. I could have died.

I know what you're thinking; how are you alive, Caroline? Well, let's just say I had a VERY interesting visit last night while I was on my death bed. Mr. King Hybrid himself decided to come into my house and up to my bedroom while I was dying. I couldn't understand how he had gotten in, and I thought maybe he had killed my mom so he wouldn't have to be invited. But he hadn't. I asked him if he was going to kill me, and he said, in a voice sweeter than I thought possible coming from HIM, "On your birthday? Do you really think that low of me?"

Of course I do, you asshole! You killed my best friend and her aunt in your freaky hybrid ritual, not to mention the fact that I was your first choice to kill, and you turned my boyfriend into a stupid hybrid loyal puppy. What did he expect that I would adore him? As if.

But, then he gave me this speech… this really deep, moving speech about whether or not I wanted to die, and how it was my decision, and how he had considered death on "more than one occasion". I was shocked that he left the choice totally up to me. Of course, I didn't want to die. Er, die die. You get the point. So, I told him I didn't want to die, and… he saved me. He was so sweet and gentle and he pulled me close to him and fed me his blood… and then, when I woke up this morning, perfectly fine, there was a gift on my bedside table. FROM HIM. He gave me an absolutely gorgeous bracelet… did I forget to mention he told me that he loves birthdays?

Diary, I don't know what to do. He killed Elena, and Jenna, and Tyler without blinking an eye. I should hate him. I DO hate him. Or… I did hate him. But, now…. God, I think I'm… attracted to him! And not just horny attracted, like it was with Tyler. I actually… feel something for him. Compassion for how alone he is? I think I know how he feels. To not have your family want you? To have your father hate you? Heck, he's practically my ancient clone thingy.

Diary, if anyone found out about this, they would kill me. Klaus is the bad guy. Klaus is the REALLY bad guy. He's the guy everyone wants dead. But… I don't. I don't want him dead. Right now, I want him to come back into my room and tell me more about his life, and himself.

And… Damon used to be bad. He was a horrible, disgusting monster. But now everyone, at least Elena and maybe Alaric, seem to love him. Maybe, in time, they could love Klaus too?

Yeah, I know… not likely. But… what if I do, Diary? What does that say about me? What does that say about the kind of friend I am? Easy; a terrible one.

But, then again, I never have been perfect… why should I start now?