I always knew that I was different than the rest of my family and the feelings I felt for Caspian didn't help.
I knew that my family wouldn't truly approve, but they wouldn't leave me either, we were far too close of a family to leave anyone behind.
All of this went through my mind as I tried to concentrate on having this play-duel with Caspian. I could be a lot better if I didn't have so much on my mind.
It was weird, to have to think that you're crushing on your sister's ex.
Really weird.
After the duel was over, the two of us went down stairs for a drink of water, and we were alone.
We were talking and laughing just like normal, but I could feel the tension in the air.
I just could, I wanted to kiss him. I had never had this much want before for anything else...
He stepped closer to me, and I teasingly stepped closer to the wall.
We continued talking, acting like normal as we did this, smiles playing on our lips.
When I couldn't go any further, I looked up at him with one eyebrow raised, asking what he was going to do next.
I wondered if he felt the tension in the air. I'm pretty sure even Eustace could come down and feel the tension, but I hoped that he didn't.
I wanted to kiss him, but I'd have to get on my tip-toes, so I couldn't do it so secretly and surprise him.
The boat took a sharp turn, making us fall over.
He landed on top of me.
We laughed, but didn't move and I felt like I knew that he had the same feelings for me.
His face moved closer and closer to mine, no emotion on his face. His lips then crashed onto mine, and I returned the kiss.
The kiss had to be broken up quickly when we heard footsteps coming and we quickly got up, and hid, to find Eustace and Reepicheep fighting, Eustace running back up stairs with a knife, Reepicheep not too far behind him.
We laughed.
Once they were fully gone and out of ear shot, we looked at each other and kissed quickly.
Caspian whispered, "I think we should be kept secret." and I agreed quickly.
We raced up the stairs, just in case people thought that we were gone for too long, only to find a girl had emerged from a bag.
Caspian gave my hand a quick squeeze, before running to make amends.
-
-Later, still Edmund-
Caspian and I snuck out late at night when we were on land to act like a couple and what not, but on the ship it was harder.
We found one spot, but it was hard to get to and we had to stay quiet because it was close to where some people slept.
But we made it work, nobody ever found out about us because we made sure we were careful.
But when I had to leave, I hugged Caspian the longest.
I was going to miss him.
He sighed shakily when I stepped back from him and I waved goodbye and followed the other two back to England.
I knew one thing.
I could never love a girl, or even another boy, the same way I loved Caspian.
