The Drain Monster
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife
Based on a scan of a Spanish Disney comic book "The Profession of Heroes", starring my Launchpad. coa. ?cF+PM+90106
With a surprise "guest villain" borrowed from Darkwing Duck. (I watched the old, original "Batman" TV show. When it was first broadcast.)
One early morning, Mr. McDuck went to take a bath. He was just about to take off his bathrobe, when a drain monster grabbed Mr. McDuck and tried to drag him down the drain with it.
Luckily, Launchpad had worked VERY late last night and allowed Launchpad to sleep in one of Mr. McDuck's spare bedrooms. As Mr. McDuck often does when Launchpad works a lot of overtime in one day. (Mr. McDuck isn't TOTALLY unreasonable.)
Poor Mr. McDuck screamed like a banshee when the drain monster grabbed him. (1)
This woke Launchpad and me up (2) and Launchpad gave me a quick kiss and went to see what was wrong.
Launchpad followed the sound of the screaming to the bathroom and saw the drain monster- a gigantic, scale-covered, reptilian paw that had nasty looking claws grabbing Mr. McDuck. Launchpad stood a second in shock.
"DO SOMETHING!" screamed Mr. McDuck.
Launchpad grabbed the nearest thing he could use a weapon: a plunger and held it by it rubber end and bashed the giant paw with the wooden handle until it let go of Mr. McDuck- dropped him, luckily in the tub.
Mr. McDuck was wet but unharmed.
"You have to go after that thing! Or it'll just come back!" Mr. McDuck screamed.
"Can I borrow your lifejacket? It'll keep me from drowning IF I can fit down the drain- and if IT can fit, I can fit." Launchpad asked.
Mr. McDuck gave Launchpad the lifejacket.
Launchpad put it on carefully and jumped into the tub.(3) Then Launchpad went down the drain after the drain monster. It was a good thing Launchpad was wearing the lifejacket, there was not enough room to swim in the drainpipe and Launchpad would of drowned without it.
DOWN the drain Launchpad went. He came out and landed with a splash! Launchpad rose, a little dizzy (he had been spinning around in circles) but unhurt.
Launchpad saw the giant drain monster that had grabbed Mr. McDuck earlier.
It was just a giant reptilian paw, with no body attached to it. Sort of like the Thing in the "Addams Family".
A criminal named Tuskerninni, a walrus, an old "friend" from Launchpad's "sidekicking" days with Darkwing Duck was torturing it. (4)Tusky was stabbing at the paw with an electrical stunner, a pitchfork-like device that sent electrical shocks to the poor thing.
"DO AS A COMMAND! KIDNAP SCROOGE! OR YOU'LL GET MORE OF THIS!" Tusky said. And Tusky stabbed at the drain monster.
This got Launchpad mad.
"Hey! Stop that! That's not right!" Launchpad objected.
"Huh? It's just a freak of nature. No brain. Just a paw." Tusky said.
"It's alive! It feels pain! It understands you- it tried to kidnap Scrooge, didn't it? How can it do what you ask if it can't think- somehow?" Launchpad asked.
"Well, too bad! I found this FREAK down here! I'M using it to kidnap Scrooge anyway. What do you think of THAT Mr. I'M-so-naive-I'm-willing-to-stick-out-my-neck-for-FREAKS!!!!" Tusky asked.
"Maybe I think YOU'RE the naive one. I've met your kind before. And they somehow don't learn." Launchpad said, coming closer.
"Hey! Get away, you idiot! You're dripping wet! You'll electrocute the both of us!" Tusky said.
"Hello? This plunger handle (5)is made of WOOD and wood is an insulator." Launchpad said.
Launchpad used the plunger handle to "pull the plug" on the stunner- he unplugged it from its generator.
The Drain Monster, now that Tusky could no longer torment it, gave Tusky a good, hard SWAT with the back of it's paw.
"Hah! Serves you right!" Launchpad told Tusky.
Tusky tried to stab the Drain monster with the stunner, even if it had no more electric power- but the metal end of the stunner touched the generator and Tusky would of been electrocuted- if Launchpad had not used the plunger handle to knock the stunner out of crook's hand.
"See what I mean when I say YOU'RE Naive? You assumed I save you if something went wrong! Yet if you keep acting the way you do, why you assume that is beyond me!" Launchpad said.
""That is because you would! YOUR type is stupid that way! I can count on you acting that way!" Tusky said.
"True." Launchpad admitted.
Launchpad then tied up Tusky with some rope that ended up in the sewer somehow. "Good thing there's so much junk down here." Launchpad muttered.
Then the Sewer Monster shook "hands" with Launchpad.
"You're welcome. I'm sorry I hit you, before. I thought YOU were the Bad Guy when you tried to kidnap Mr. McD. I try not to jump to conclusions, but no one's perfect." Launchpad said.
"You are crazy! Making friends with that FREAK!" Tusky said.
"I suggest you behave yourself. My friend the "freak" may have to swat you again, if you try to escape. And this time, he just might use his CLAWS." Launchpad said.
Launchpad couldn't figure out a way to get back UP the way he came down, so he just walked till he found one of the duckholes the sewer workers use. And then went up the ladder. Then he went back to the mansion. Where Mr. McDuck made Launchpad take a bath for two reasons A) he stank and B) to make sure it was safe.
Meanwhile, Mr. McDuck called the cops (and it was a good thing they were looking for Tusky or they might not have believed him!) who checked it out and found Tusky waiting for them. And the sewer monster guarding him.
"But what am I going to DO with that Sewer Monster?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"Give him a job as a sewer worker. He can find leaks and report them, retrieve lost tools, even do simple repairs, I bet." Launchpad said.
Well, mostly because nobody ELSE knew what to do with him, they did just that. And "Norton" (what else?) as Launchpad jokily named him proved a whiz at fixing things in the sewer. And Norton the Sewer Monster was always willing to rescue a lost toy or pet that washed down the sewer before it could be hurt.
The End
(1)I'd be scared, too!
(2)Oh, did I fail to mention that I had worked late the prior night, and was in the spare bedroom with my husband Launchpad?
(3) That's the scene the comic strip shows.
(4) There's a scan from a "Darkwing Duck" coloring book on mystiesplace"s "activity pages" that shows Launchpad fighting Tusky with a plunger. Since it's for kids (and Disney wants Launchpad to look like a moron studying to be an idiot and flunking the course)Launchpad has the rubber end UP. Sigh.
(5)Launchpad took the plunger with him. Just in case.
