Title: Inebriation

Author: Obsessed1
Character(s): Sheppard and team
Genre(s): Stargate Atlantis: Gen. Angst. H/C.
Rating: PG?

Summary: It was supposed to be simple, so how did they're mission end with a very drunk, whumped Colonel.

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McKay listened to the drip drip of the rain falling outside and pressed himself against the cave wall when a rumble of thunder seemed to echo around him. And it was the sound of thunder he was hearing and not the deep rumble of –

"Well, this has been a fun outing," he said into the semi darkness, "Glad I'm stuck here, in the cold, soaking wet and not eating the nice warm food they are no doubt serving in the commissary right now. Nope, this is great."

There was a chuckle from across the cave, the sound of scrabbling, a missed footfall and then Sheppard was sliding down next to him and leaning heavily into his shoulder.

McKay turned to the Colonel and sighed, "And you're not helping."

Sheppard smiled.

"Don't look at me like that. This is all your fault."

Sheppard laughed again and closed his eyes, elbow digging into McKay's side.

"You realise if we ever get out of this cave and off this miserable planet that Elizabeth is going to kick your ass," McKay clutched his handgun against his chest and attempted to move away from Sheppard.

Sheppard heaved in a shaky breath.

"And if you're sick again, either near me or on me, I'll kill you before that."

Sheppard leaned away from him and spat onto the floor of the cave, made a small gagging noise and then dropped his head back against the wall. Eyes closed. Swallowing convulsively.

"How do we even get into these situations?" McKay said watching as Sheppard groaned and rolled his head, "This was supposed to be a walk in the park. Easy, you said. Easy. This isn't easy. We're going to die up here you realise and it'll be all your fault."

Sheppard suddenly lurched forward and spat again.

"Don't you dare throw up!"

McKay pulled his legs towards him and edged away from Sheppard.

"It's your own fault. Self inflicted."

Sheppard groaned again, "Shut up," he slurred.

McKay shifted the grip on the gun. Sheppard was leaning again.

"Can you please stay upright for one second?"

Sheppard reached out with an uncoordinated hand and planted it on the ground to steady himself.

He managed a whole five seconds before it gave way and he was leaning on his elbow, head nearly resting on McKay's knee.

"Give me the gun Ro…..Rodney," Sheppard hiccupped.

"And have you shoot me? Or the cave wall or a tree? Anything but the actual enemy."

McKay carefully extricated Sheppard's head from his knee and moved into a crouch.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

Sheppard batted his hand away.

"I bet you're not even seeing double are you? Triple?"

Sheppard sighed heavily and raised his head, eyes tracking him lazily, "I'm….fine."

"You're drunk Colonel. Incredibly, disgustingly drunk. I am not giving you this gun."

"My gun."

"No, it's my gun now."

"Would you…" McKay tugged at Sheppard's arm and tried to get him upright, "Sit up!"

"You wanted…..the… Z," Hiccup, "P," Hiccup, "M."

Sheppard reached out with a groping hand, "Rodney."

"No."

"Rod-"

"No. Just sit and be quiet."

McKay held the gun away from Sheppard and kept his eyes on the cave opening.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Sheppard moaned for about the millionth time since they had run away.

"Feel sick."

McKay smirked. He couldn't help it. Sheppard's misery almost alleviated his own wretchedness at being held up in a damp cold cave.

"Of course you do."

Sheppard slid down the wall again and ended up resting on McKay's shoulder anyway.

"Could this day get any worse?" McKay mused.

TBC…………………