Not what you thought of me

disclaimer: um a 15 yr old black girl that is american and has 5 brothers and 2 sister is jk rowling riiiight belive that.

Im ugly. Im worthless . But I loved him.

" Pansy " Draco growled at me.

" Yes Dear " I cooed. I dont know what makes me this way with him . He probably thinks im like this around every one. He is captivating to me. The way his eyes sparkle and how his hair gleams. I wouldn't say he was god but he was a defanant angel.

" Why dont you get the hell away from me " He snarled.

He couldnt have meant that he must just have had a bad day or something .

Draco never really had any major spats with me . Mostly he would just get angry and stalk away. We've shagged a couple of times . And I dont think he noticed but he was my first. Oh how good that felt. I dont know why I cling to him I just cant get over this dreadful feeling of lust. Today I guess he just is really mad .

" Aww Drake you dont really mean that " I said trying to cling onto his arm to get his attention.

" Yes I do you fat ugly pug ugh I dont know why I even shagged you, your the biggest whore in slytherin. I wouldnt be suprised if you already have childern. Ugh get your hand of of me " He growled maniacly as he pushes me away .

That really hurt cant he see that I love him. Every body in the common room is staring at us . Or mainly me . I feel so embarresed.

" B-but - " He cut me off .

" B-but nothing leave me alone!! " he yelled out one more time.

I give up I declared .In my mind . I took a step away from him very slowly.

'What do I see in him ' I asked myself . 'do you really want the list " my mind questioned back .

I heard laughter . They were laughing at me ! To bad I really dont care. I gave him a solem look and turned away. I slowly walked to the door and without turning back I left . Heading toward the pond.

When I got there I looked out into the pond and looked at my reflection. I dont think im that ugly. Since last year I grew out my hair it was now 2 inches past my shoulders and dyed blonde. I wanted draco to be happy. I had freckles . Which I despised and hid under a ton of make-up. I wasnt fat atleast not to me. And pug ? I had a very fit body and curves even men would want . I dont think im ugly at all. But thats what he says.

Some one was walking up to me book in hand.

" Granger ? " I called lightly I was using my real voice not the girly squeel I used to use to get Draco's attention.

" Hi Parkinson ... are you okay ? " she asked me. I have no idea why would speak to me . I thought she hated me.

" No I dont hate you " she said answering my unasked question.

It took me a while but I finally said I was perfectly fine and why would she care.

" Despite the very common thought that ' Hermione Pathalonia Jean Feni- umm Granger does not care about any one out of the golden trio ' its not true " she answered solemly so I decided to not talk about her little slip.

" Do you really want to know whats wrong " I said giving up trying to hide it from her.

She noodded her head.

" Well the man that I love doesnt love me back and just embarresed me in front of all the people I deemed ( past tense ) to be worthy of my company. And he said I was ugly " I whined.

" welllllll you could use help in that department " she said I raised one of my thinly arched eye brows.

" okay I know I dont seem like a beauty queen but ... you should see me in the summer ... I dont always have my head in the books ... BOOK WORMS GONE WILD !! " she said losing it in the end.

" Okay then ... can you help me then. ? " I asked really skepticaly.

" okay ... lets errr start with your face " she said conjuring a rag and some water.

" whipe it off " she demanded. I took the rag from her and I was not looking foward to taking of the make up it was my security blanket. I started to rub it off in circle. I havent seen my face in so long .

When I go to sleep I just wash my face and leave the bathroom I dont even glance at my face . Then when I wake up after I shower I just magic some concealer on my face automatically.

It was gone. All the make up. It didnt look as bad as I remembered it . Hmmm it was okay but sorta out there. I didnt have freckles all over my face any more just on my cheeks and the bridge of my nose .

" Nice... now that cant be your natural hair is it, it used to be brown. ( I shook my head ) change it back now ...ugh never mind ill do it " she said while casting a inpedinfeneto spell ( okay i am not looking for latin words that mean the changing of one s false aperance so there ).

Instead of having straight blonde hair her hair turned choclate brown and got tight curls in it .

She really did look like a whole diffrent person.

" So when you see that boy that broke your heart do not i repeat do not speak to him unless he speaks first got it ( I nod ) next do not act pompous its really a turn off on both sexs . Next your clothing. Umm 2 words MORE COVERAGE of course a guy is gonna think your a slut if you where those clothes " she said motioning at my clothes. For the next half an hour she lectured me on what to do.

I have no clue why im listining to her but i am. I guess I do need a change.

She took me to her Head Girls room and we just began to talk . To the point I couldnt stop.

" Yeah I mean I just couldnt belive they did that. I used to have big crushes on them " I blurted out.

" Really I did too but they are Ron's brothers so I didnt want to chance anything " She chuckled.

" So can I ask a question an important one that you cant lie to me about and in return you can do the same to me." I asked.

"Okay shoot " She said smiling broadily .

"What was that mix-up earlier ... the one with your last name why did you almost forget it " I asked.

" Umm ... Well my father's last name Is Fenidelthus and not Granger " she smiled again I new she was leaving out parts . But her last name did seem a little ... hmm off . Maybe it was the fact that I probably heard it before .

" Your cutting out major parts arent you " I aske grinning she gleefuly nodded.

" So your question... ummm will you be my friend " She asked still smiling her creepy little smile .

" Yes " I laughed . I thought this little talk symbolized the start of this friendship.

" Can I borow some of your clothes tommorow and you can where mine. " Hermione asked some what shyly.

" Ok we can switch roles for a day " I answered.

" Yeah its time for my wild side to come out "she smiled.

" Truthfully Hermione, do you like either Harry or Ron " " Um... I did have a small crush on Harry but he had a crush on Cho at the time and Ron just kept getting in the way ... I remember I hugged him once I think I blushed " she giggled.

We just kept talking until are mouths wouldnt go on I wouldve said a mind reading charm but yet again my mouth wouldnt move .

When I woke up on Gra- umm Feni- umm Hermione's bed I was a little disoriented. She was throwing around what seemed to be my entire wardrobe. Minus underwear.

" Do you have and red corsets !! " Hermione yelled to me .

" In umm ... yes just accio it " I said remembering im in her room.

" Accio corset " she said as about 12 corsets flew her directions. I laughed and she glared at me .

" Why do you have this many corsets and why didnt you warn me " she asked me. The hostile thing about it is while she was talking to me oh so sweetly... right , she was pointing her preety shiny stick ( wand ) at me ... aww how sweet.

" You didnt ask ... and your the one who said corset instead of accio red corset ( corset comes flying my direction into my hand ) that is what you get " I said getting off the bed and handing it to her which she snatched and smiled and stowed of to the bathroom.

6:45

I decided it was my turn to rummage through her clothes .

I went into her closet and when I say omg i mean what the . She had so much stuff I mean her closet had to be inhaced.Wow .I wound up picking a black button up shirt with a white cami under it , then straight legged dark blue jean pants . I was going for innocent and simple so I decided to do withought jewelry. and I picked my own pointy toe shoe.

I slipped them on I didnt care about using the bathroom it was pointless. I counjured a brush and sat on Hermione's bed and brushed my hair until she came out. I use Hot in a non lesbian way. SHE LOOKED HOTTTTT !! I think the clothes did her more justice than it did me .

she was wearing my spaghetti strap red corset that had black strings and lace and her hair was straight and the front if her hair around her shoulders reached under her bust. The rest in the back was 3 inches above her waist. She was wearing black taperd jeans and balarina flats that seemed to have more lace on it.

She didnt have on a lot of make up but what a difference. She had on dark brown eyeliner. Silver eyeshadow and lip gloss.

" DO I look okay not to slutty I hope " She said purposley sounding snobby. I smiled .

" Of course not sweet heart " I answered.

" Get up " She said after she looked at me for a second . I got confused and moved out her way . She snatched the brush out of my hand and sat down on her bed .

" Sit down " she said mostioning to the floor in front of her. I know im looking for a new personalty but you dont talk to Pansy Alusin Andrea Parkinson like that . I quirked my eyebrow at her .

" I want to fix you " she said so I wouldn't get the wrong idea.

" Whats wrong with me " I asked chukling .

" Everthing jk let me fix your hair other wise you look very preety " she told me smiling.

" You know what if I like this new style enough you can keep my clothes ... and about that closet why do you have this much clothes ?" I questioned.

" Thats not even half as much as I have at home and as I said those are my im a angel school clothes ... I like these to much to give them back anyway where do you get these " She asked .

" Where? umm I have a stylist and she goes to another stylist which make the clothes to fit " I answered as she started to brush my hair.

" Well I should get one " she said putting a spell on my hair to make it more curly . Then she deemed it done and grabbed her bag.

" Something tells me I wont have enough time to get it later " She smiled.

" Can you summon mine I dont know how to do it " I asked seconds later my stuff are on the floor.

We walked into the Great Hall together. Everyone is looking at us. At her in shock and me and confusion. I dont think they know who I am.

I give her a hug as we go are seperate ways. I sit in my usual place next to Millicent. I never relized it but she was really a discusting looking girl. Id have to tell her real is in . On my other side Draco sat there with a girl draped on his lap.

" Excuse me ? But my fr- ... Pansy sits there and id move if I was you cause she can be a bitz when she wants " Millicent sneered.

" Yeah the hagg will throw a hissy fit " Draco added rubbing the girl on his lap's leg. " Who are you anyway transfer "

I looked across the hall to Hermione. Ron seemed to be dead. Harry stunning poition I guess. It was like a twighlight zone marathon running .

" Umm im Pansy " I said like it wasnt a change for me. I wasnt hungry.

" No you arent, she is a hag " Millicent torted.

" And I thought you were my friend why " I asked more to myself.

" Whats the new look for huh Parkinson? Are you trying to show me what im missing hm?" Draco asked me.

" No Malfoy I gave up on being with you yesterday and with that went all of the fake stuff. Even you knew I was a natural Burnette and I got a hint that I wore to much makeup so I left it alone. And that was all I did so if your asking did I change myself for you. Yes long ago I did change for you but you made it clear that its NEVER gonna happen. So I decided no more trying" I said with my eyes scanning the hall.

My eyes were so blinded by Draco's beauty that I didnt relise there was a bunch of hot guys here. Most of which are looking at Hermione. But so what .

" Who is that girl you came in with " he asked. I looked toward her but she wasnt sitting there. I scanned once more to notice she was on her way in this direction.

" Hermione " I said simply. Even still jaws droped.

"Let there bodies hit the floor Let there bodies hit the floooooor" I whispered giggling slightly. Hermione stood in front of me.

" What are you doing at my table " sneered Draco.

" Umm yeah Pansy im goin to class you wanna come " she smirked.

" Think I wanna sit here with people who dont like me nah " I said hurriedly.

I gathered my things and instead of waisting my time going around the table. I threw my stuff to hermione and jumped over it . Millicent grabbed my leg.

" Hey ho just so you know my leg ISNT a peice of food so kindly let it go" I said as I kicked at her arm and did a backflip off the table.

" Dont step on the table you silly slut " Millicent said sneering. OH how I wanted her to get hit by a transit.

" Sorry I think the fat pig is a little mad about the... little... wittle... table . Or is there something else on your mind. If so speak now " I said sarcastically and very dangerously.

At this time the girl on Draco's lap decided to speak up.

" Wow Parkinslut's got a backbone (she growled ) it'd be even sexier if you actually got over Draco here I can tell that you arent" A girl still unfamiliar said.

" What are you a lesbian ? ( breathless laugh ) ( wagging her finger ) naughty naughty girl "Hermione said smirkingly.

" No if I was a lez you'd shorley'd be the top on my list Honey ... But I do belive I was talking to Ms. Pansy over here." She said seemingly unfazed.

" Nice change from Parkinslut to Pansy " I said snootily.

" Well isnt that your name dear ?" She asked the Slytherin table irrupted in laughter .

I held my ears. Shorely it wasnt that funny!!

" No its Parkinson dear " Hermione spoke up for me.

--

now thats it for that and ummm yeah i lost intrest in me ... no i didnt jk jk

I think im high on kool-aid right now ... yay kool-aid ( kool-aid man pops up ) Oh right

oreos for you who review