Please excuse the weirdness. I wrote this while I was supposed to be doing my physics assignment.

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

"This can't be right!" Wes Janson yelled.

"Kriffing straight it can't be!" Derek 'Hobbie' Klivian screamed.

"Wedge!" Both of them pleaded to the dark-haired man behind the desk.

Holding his hands up in a gesture of 'not my fault', Wedge Antilles shrugged. "Sorry. You brought this on yourselves. There's nothing I can do."

"You're a hero! Come on, pull some strings for us! They can't take all of it!" Wes begged.

Hobbie slid out of his chair, not caring that he landed on his face. He sobbed into the hard floor.

Wedge simply stood. "Attention!" He waited for Hobbie to pick himself off the floor before continuing, "I practically begged Command. They refused on medical grounds."

Hobbie began sobbing again. Wes, on the other hand, began to rant. "They can't stop us, Wedge! Those vapin' idiots-"

Two of the new Rogues, Alexia Rissar and Thor Loki ran in, blasters in hand. They stopped at the sight of: their exasperated CO, a sobbing Major, and another Major yelling and making rude gestures to thin air.

Alexia cocked her head. "What. The. Hell?" she asked her friend (who was actually a god in disguise). The two began to back out of the room slowly, but they were spotted. Hobbie got sick of crying into his own hands and grabbed Alexia, shoving his face into her neck and sobbing (we shall ignore the fact that Hobbie had a massive crush on her).

Wes turned to Loki and continued to yell. Several seconds later (at which time Thor Loki's patience had been used up) Thor clicked his fingers and electrocuted Wes.

Wedge just blinked, slumping back in his chair and summoning a medteam. His comm started blinking for his attention and he opened the channel. "Senator Fey'lya," he greeted the Bothan.

"Commander Antilles, I must – what is that noise?" Fey'lya had noticed the sound of Hobbie's crying.

"It's just the air-conditioner, Senator."

"Ah. About that mission to Mrlsst-"

"And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion today would be what, exactly?" Wedge enjoyed seeing the look of shock on Fey'lya's face.

"Excuse me? I am-"

"I know that you're an asshole. It just happens to be your fault that one of my pilots has been electrocuted and another is currently attempting to deplete all of his bodily fluids by crying. Reverse the decision, or I'll call Boba Fett and tell him I'm calling in my favour."

Fey'lya had been successfully cowed. "I'll do it right away! They'll be back in your kitchen in no time!"

"So nice doing business with you, Senator." The screen went blank, and Wedge grinned. "Hobbie, we're getting the pancakes back!"

Yeah, I told you it was weird. Anyway, please review!