A soft tapping on the glass awoke me from the first good dream – or could it have been a memory? I wasn't sure if I had been sleeping – I'd had in a long time. Slowly, painfully, I cracked my eyes open.
For a second I didn't remember where I was, thinking I was still in my dream, but it all came back to me when all my eyes saw was a bright green blur.
Mako.
I'd been trapped, in that test tube, for who knows how long. I don't necessarily remember how I got there, only faint flashes of it, for the Mako poisoning had finally eaten away at my memories, especially the ones that I had held most dear.
For a second, I just sat there, staring off into space. My brain did not comprehend the fact that I had been woken up until another; louder knock on the tank snapped me out of my thoughts, or what was left of them. I slowly turned my head towards the sound's origin and forced my eyes to focus on the image beyond the syrup-like liquid.
It was one of the scientists. I thought they had forgotten about me for a while…guess I was wrong.
"What do you want?" I tried to say, but it came out as incoherent mumbling, so I doubt the scientist even understood me.
He looked grave—or was it my imagination? I wouldn't have thought these people had feelings, considering the things they'd done to me.
"Your friend…dead…captured…" I only managed to catch a few words, but what I heard made my blood run cold as I snapped to attention.
I couldn't believe it…
My best friend was dead.
He couldn't be.
I looked over at the tank next to mine to confirm that he was gone.
If my memories had been accurate, I would have known that he'd been gone for quite some time, possibly years now, and that the two of us had escaped. He had managed to get free, whereas I had been recaptured.
In that moment, as the news sunk in while I stared at that empty tank, I lost any hope I had harbored that I would one day free us both and that we would find a safe place to stay, far away from ShinRa.
Even though I was weak with the poison Mako cursed me with, I slammed a weak fist against the glass and let the tears fall. My best friend… I didn't even care that my tears had disintegrated in the Mako. On any other circumstance, I probably would have thought it were cool.
He had been like a little brother to me. The two of us had been inseparable and now it physically hurt to not have him next to me. I'd rather see him lifeless with Mako Poisoning then to not have him at all.
I continued to bang against the test tank, releasing all my sadness and anger.
I vowed to protect him…what a wonderful job I've done keeping that promise!
When the glass didn't break–I knew it wouldn't, I'd tried to break it before when I was stronger than I was then and it hadn't even cracked—I slumped against the cold tank's side.
How could he be dead?
Hojo.
This is all Hojo's fault!
The scientist, who had jumped back in shock when I had started pounding on the glass, now approached me warily.
"I need you to come with me," He said blankly, hitting the switch that emptied the Mako out of the tank as he spoke. My eyes widened and I momentarily forgot about my friend as a bigger problem arose. He was draining the Mako from my tank…
I tried to keep the thick, green liquid from leaving; my body had relied on Mako for so long, it was my oxygen. I needed it…and this man was taking it from me!
I scooped some up in my hands, but it seeped through my fingers, draining almost as quickly as the rest. My eyes wide, I watched in horror as the Mako level in the tank slowly got lower and lower.
I could feel myself growing weaker and weaker, my muscles refusing to obey, as they only worked when I had Mako to give me power. My thoughts were becoming muddled. It was getting hard to see. It was getting hard to breathe.
When the Mako was fully drained, I was left powerless, panting and leaning up against the backside of the tank, shaking. It was all I could do to stand upright.
The scientist reached in and pulled me out by my wrist. I wanted to resist and curse at him but I found that I could barely move at all. I could only blink and breathe raspy, shuddering breaths.
The scientist put my arm around his shoulders and slowly started to drag me away. He shuffled down the many hallways, lugging my limp body behind him. We passed by a small bathroom once and I forced my neck to turn so I could look at my reflection in the mirror.
I gasped. I looked horrible.
My hair was a mess, tangled and sticking out in every possible direction. It had grown a lot, nearly shoulder length now. My eyes were bright, neon green. They glowed fiercely, brighter than they ever had as a SOLDIER. I forced myself to look away and try to figure out where we were going.
I should have already known where this man was taking me, but it only became very obvious when we went down that familiar hall, one I had been down far too much for my liking.
I paled as my brain slowly registered the fact. They're going to experiment on me again…aren't they?
The thought struck pure terror down my spine.
A long time ago, maybe the first couple days we were here, I would have tried to fight to fight them off – but even if I wanted to now, I couldn't.
It was Mako Poisoning. It had finally come for me after years— or at least it had felt like years—of resisting. SOLDIERs, being accustomed to Mako, weren't as likely to get it as normal people were. But we weren't completely immune to it, it seems.
It wasn't long before we reached the one place that I'd ever been mind-numbingly terrified of.
Everyone is scared of something. For some, maybe it's death. For others, it's more trivial things like the dark or spiders. Mine? Hojo.
Inside that room was Hojo.
Inside that room was my undoing.
Every time Hojo experimented on me, I became less and less human and more and more like a monster.
That was really what I feared, because when I saw Hojo it could only mean I was there to be cut open and experimented with. Again.
He's turning me into a monster… just like he did to the three people I had admired most, who had gotten me to where I was in the first place. I could feel it. I knew that no SOLDIER was normal, but I could feel it worsening with each day that passed.
My whole body was shaking when we reached the door and the scientist began fumbling with the lock.
When the scientist got the door open, he led me inside and sat me down on a large table, a table that was, unfortunately, very familiar to me. He forced my head down and roughly slammed my wrists down at my sides, then hit a button that shackled my hands and feet so I couldn't move. Not that I would be able to anyway.
He stood by my side until Hojo walked into the room, carrying a clipboard.
Hojo looked up from his papers and grinned at me, displaying a set of yellow, uneven teeth. The sight made my blood run cold as a tremor raced down my spine. Then he noticed the scientist that had brought me here.
"Go now, Sebastian." He said uninterestedly, going back to look at his clipboard and scribbling something on it.
Watching the scientist leave, I wished he'd have stayed. I didn't want to be alone in here with this madman.
When the creak of the door closing reached our ears, Hojo turned to me.
"How nice of you to join me." He smirked and cackled slightly, shaking his head in amusement as he went back to his clipboard.
"W-what…did you…do to…" I managed to splutter out, trying to see what he did to my friend whose name I suddenly couldn't remember.
Why can't I remember his name?
He was my best friend, my personal shadow, and my hope. He was the only one that truly looked up to me, wanted to be just like me. He had been the only one that had managed to make me feel human while we were both here. All I remembered were slight memories of him and what he looked like.
"Your friend?" Hojo asked, surprised that I was able to talk. He started to laugh, a horrible, high pitched, grating sound that hurt my enhanced ears and made me wince.
"Didn't Sebastian already tell you? He's dead. I killed him, because he was too weak…" The smug look on Hojo's face disgusted me and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off with a solid punch to the jaw, but all I managed was a twitch of my finger.
If I would have paid attention and my mind was able to think properly, I would have realized that Hojo's story didn't match up with Sebastian's, who said my friend had been captured and killed. But instead I let the horrible truth sink in. Earlier I had hoped that maybe Sebastian had been mistaken or maybe he was just lying to get me to lose hope, but with Hojo confirming it…
Any little hope I had left was extinguished like a candle flame.
He's gone…truly gone…I'd told him that I'd get us out, that the two of us would escape before Hojo had the chance to do anything more to us. But I never got the chance, I was never strong enough to fight back, and he had paid the price for my weakness.
Hojo watched the expressions cross my face for a second, taking pleasure in the pain he had caused me, before getting back down to business.
"Now you know why you're here…and I see that you've finally succumbed to Mako poisoning, which makes it all the more fun for me." He smirked and chuckled again.
He reached over and grabbed a syringe off of another table and filled it up with something I could not identify. Wincing, I watched helplessly as he injected the needle into my arm. The pain it brought was horrid, but I couldn't move and couldn't scream. The Mako poisoning had me in its grasp again.
My vision blurred and blackened, and my senses fled. I was cast into the world of dreams once more.
Pain hit me like a riptide as soon as I woke into a semi-conscious state.
I was expecting it to, actually. It was always this way when Hojo was done experimenting on me.
The headache I had was worse than I'd ever had before and it made me want to throw up.
Groaning, I opened my eyes to notice that I was not back in the Mako tank I had resided in for who knows how long. Even though I hated being cooped up in there, I looked forward to returning because then all my pain went away.
I was still strapped to the table, though only by my hands. I wouldn't be moving anywhere, even if I could move to begin with.
I stared up at the ceiling, and gazed about the room, taking in the blood splattered walls and different tools I saw lying around.
I noticed a computer off to the side with ShinRa's symbol as the desktop. I was almost certain that it was Hojo's personal computer and if I could just take one look at all the files on the Jenova and Chaos Projects, Sephiroth, Project G, along with any files on my friend and I, I could learn what Hojo did to us.
Suddenly my headache intensified, making me whimper, and an echoing laughter pounded against my skull.
My son…my son…bring me my son…
Jenova!
I recognized her voice from a time when I was in one of the Mako Reactors outside Midgar. I didn't remember which one it had been, but she had been there and had done much the same thing she had done just now, only it had been ten times worse.
My vision darkened again and I was out cold, Jenova's echoing words being the last thing I heard for a long time.
Four years, to be exact.
