A/N: I couldn't help but write another fic. Possible oneshot since I don't exactly know where it could go, but it's been stuck in my head for a few days. Has no relation to my other story, Attempts. I also don't know how I make up such random titles for my stories.
As usual, I spoiled myself happy with set pictures and blah blah blah from season 3 filming and there are alot on the web so far. I won't say anything here if I can help it, but if anyone is curious enough like me, they can go to Fringewatch on Twitter. :)
My current Fringe withdrawals have been semi-replaced with watching the X-Files. Lol. Everyone needs a Mulder and Scully to cheer them up. Anyways, reviews would be be greatly appreciated, and a quick look at my other story wouldn't hurt either. Hope you like the story. :D
*Olivia
She laid on her bed, awake, with no intention to sleep ever again, but she knew it wasn't possible. Sleep brought only nightmares. The "what could have been." What if she was still on the other side, stuck there forever, never to see her family again. Peter. Walter. Astrid. Everyone she ever knew would be gone while her alternate replaced her, taking everything. She tried so hard to repress all the memories and thoughts to the darkest corners of her mind, but they just kept coming back.
Olivia was foolish. Foolish enough to have actually considered for a moment that when she returned home, maybe things between her and Peter would change. More than friends. A relationship. Her confession to him had said it all. The kiss. She had finally admitted to herself, to Peter, everything she tried so hard to keep hidden. His disappearance had pushed her to the limit, and she had found him, eventually. A brief moment of happiness that was gone in an instant.
She bided her time in the dark room whilst being carefully observed by the other Walter. A man so twisted and strange, yet so familiar. Olivia had hoped with all her might that Peter would know. That he would realize she had been replaced. And he did, just a little too late.
It seemed a miracle to Olivia that she had actually managed to make it back home. To somehow "magic" her way back with her abilities before being doused in a long bout of unconsciousness.
The first thing she remembered when waking up, was a warm hand on hers. Fingers entwined. Peters. It had calmed Olivia and as she awoke, she could make out his face, along with Walter, Rachel, and Ella. Relief was written on everyone's faces, except Peters. Olivia still faintly remembered the shame, guilt, and regret all over his expression. Initially, she couldn't understand his strange array of emotions. But she did now. Olivia stared at the ceiling, a lump rising in her throat. She couldn't cry. She wouldn't. It was so pathetic. The fact that Olivia could let something so insignificant bother her.
Insignificant...
So what if Peter had kissed her alternate. He didn't know. Nobody knew that Olivia was gone. Their Olivia. The other one was deceiving them all behind their backs, putting on a fake appearance in their presence. Peter was fooled, just like everyone else.
But he shouldn't have been. How could he not know? How could he have been so... oblivious.
Those three lone thoughts tugged at Olivia's chest constantly. Every single day ever since Peter told her what had really happened. She tried to convince herself... that the other Olivia was just exceptionally good at deceiving people, but she couldn't accept it no matter how hard she tried.
It had already been a few weeks since she got back and every morning, Olivia went to work without fail, trying to put on her best effort to seem unaffected by all that had happened. But it was difficult, especially with Peter. He was careful around her, and also observant. Olivia knew that he was still blaming himself for not knowing about the switch sooner. And she also knew... that he knew she wasn't all right in any way. And it was true.
Her outward appearance didn't give off the impression that she was still recovering. Physically, she was fine. The bruises that Olivia had sustained were gone, the wounds healed. The dye in her hair wasnow a faded auburn, with hints of blonde returning. However, emotionally, she was still far from healed. Everything inside Olivia felt broken, like a thousand glass shards laying shattered on the ground. She never cried once though. Everything was locked away in the bottom of her heart. Olivia wasn't ready to let it go and she definitely wouldn't let herself have a break down. Toughing it out seemed like the best option. The only option.
Olivia let all her thoughts run through her mind once again for the millionth time, and somehow a single tear escaped. She wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand.
Olivia looked out her bedroom window. It was dawn and it was the third consecutive day that she was greeted by it. The last time Olivia encountered a peaceful night's sleep was a long time ago. Jacksonville had changed everything. That was the starting point.
The first time Peter leaned in, wanting to kiss her, and the first time she saw his unnatural glimmer. A catalyst for everything that had soon happened. The first domino that had fallen, knocking down all the rest.
Olivia pushed the memories out of her head. Just briefly before it would come back to haunt her thoughts again later in the evening when she was alone.
Give or take a few hours and Olivia would be back at the lab, filing away paperwork for the Bureau. No new cases had popped up recently which was both fortunate and unfortunate.
Olivia slid open the door to her closet, looking at her clothes wondering which outfits her alternate had worn. It angered her in a way she couldn't describe. Olivia hated the fact that she knew someone else had been through her apartment and her belongings without permission, even if it was "herself." She quickly grabbed a pair of slacks and a black button down shirt to match with her black coat. Olivia took a quick glance at the mirror and grimaced. She looked like crap. There were dark circles under her eyes, slightly more prominent than the day before. Peter would notice and he wouldn't like it.
Olivia peered through the entrance to the lab when she arrived. Astrid was helping Walter with one of his... experiments and Peter was sitting in the far corner of the room with a book propped on his lap. She quietly made a beeline towards her office and shut the door quickly. A little less subtle than she had wanted, but she was alone now.
Olivia slumped down in her chair and sighed. Part of her wanted to run to Peter and pour out all the bottled emotions to him, but at the same time, she just couldn't bring herself to. She did care about him, maybe even possibly love after everything they went through. Olivia would be lying to herself if she said she didn't want to start a relationship with Peter. She did, she wanted to try, but something always got in the way. This time it was her unfortunate predicament on the other side. But it wasn't only that one issue that held her back. Olivia needed responses to questions with no answers. How was her doppelgänger so able to fool everyone around her even for a second? And how could Peter not have known the minute he saw her... He was
able to pick out the slightest change in Olivia's emotions no matter what the circumstance, but he wasn't able to realize that the wrong person had returned. Maybe... maybe he was just overwhelmed by everything. Walter kidnapping him as a child, his real father wanting to use him to destroy a universe, her... unexpected appearance... and confession.
He should have known.
It almost felt like a betrayal. Almost, but Olivia couldn't let herself think that way. Not about Peter. All he had done after she got back was look after her and make sure she was all right.
Someone was knocking softly on her office door. Peter.
"'Livia..."
"Come in," Olivia responded quietly as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make herself look a little less miserable.
Peter hesitantly approached her, unsure of what to say at first but took note of her appearance. The dark circles under her eyes. She looked worn out, stressed, and tired.
"Here, this might help." Peter gently set down a cup of coffee beside Olivia. Her hand was trembling.
"Thank you Peter..." She glanced at him quickly and then looked down.
"So... What are you up to?" Olivia could tell that he was trying to lighten up the tense mood that had settled in the room.
"Uh, paperwork." It was a quick excuse but apparently it didn't work on Peter because he let out an amused chuckle.
"Paperwork huh? Explains why your desk is... completely empty."
Olivia looked down again. He was right. Anyone could see right through her obvious lie, even a child.
"Sorry... I uh... I... nevermind," Olivia muttered under her breath. She couldn't even get a single sentence out let alone a logical explanation for... anything. She looked at Peter, whose grin from
before had dissolved leaving only a frown.
Olivia felt a familiar lump settle in the back of her throat, threatening to make her cry. The feelings trapped inside of Olivia wanted to flood out. It suddenly dawned on her that it wasn't possible for her to hold it in anymore. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks slowly, knowing that Peter could see.
His left hand rested on Olivia's shoulder, while his right hand found its way to to her cheek to brush away her tears.
She studied his features, noting his expression. Olivia detected a slight hint of apprehension, but most of all, he seemed genuinely worried.
Why wouldn't he be?
Peter leaned forward slowly, his face hovering a couple of inches from hers, his concerned gaze still intent on Olivia's. He was just a little too close for comfort and she wasn't sure if she wanted to be caught in a situation like this just yet. And as if it couldn't get any worse, her emotions decided on this one moment to completely overwhelm her, sending Olivia into a fit of wracking sobs.
As embarrassed as she was, crying in front of Peter, Olivia had to admit that it felt nice to relieve herself of this burden. She hadn't cried since Charlie died, but even that was nothing compared to now.
Peter wrapped his arms around Olivia, pulling her into a tight hug, strands of her hair tickling his cheek. She settled into the crook of his neck, overcome with almost-violent trembles as her tears continued to flow, soaking Peter's shirt completely.
Olivia couldn't pinpoint the amount of time the two of them had remained that way, but after a while, she pulled away slowly trying to look at anything but Peter. The long silence was getting a little awkward, so Olivia tried breaking it.
"I think owe you a new shirt. Sorry..."
She looked at him shyly before letting out a small smile.
"It's fine Olivia. Everyone needs to let out their feelings every once in a while. Besides, it helped didn't it? Anyways, I... just wanted to say again tha - that I'm sorry again for not knowing about... her... sooner. I could have helped. I could have gone back over to save you..."
"Peter no... Even if you knew about the switch, you couldn't have helped. You can't... You can't return to the other side. He'll use you... Your father."
He looked down for a split second, processing Olivia's words. She was right. He could never go back.
Olivia saw a brief flash of pain and then regret settle in Peter's eyes, a common occurence lately. It hurt to see him like this. She missed his smile.
Maybe she could change that.
The questions that had previously haunted Olivia's mind seemed non-existent at the moment. It shouldn't matter what her other self did before. She was home now and back in control of her own life. The time left before the war between the two realities finally erupted was diminishing and she couldn't let it go to waste by living on fears and doubts. Olivia had to make it worth living.
Olivia leaned in towards Peter and gently brushed her lips against his, not aware of the fact that she had was now grinning stupidly. He was a little shocked at first, but he understood.
She would make it work this time around.
Olivia would piece back together those broken glass shards and make it whole again.
Definitely.
