Hajimemashite and Konnichiwa, dearest reader-san! Apple Fairy here! .
Well, here's a new fic. It's not very good. D:
...But read it at your own risk! I hope you enjoy! xD
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.
That's Why I Believe
Story by Apple Fairy
Just because others say it's unlikely…
Just because others say you're most likely dead…
Just because others have already given up on you…
…Doesn't necessarily mean I have to stop believing in you, too.
He was gone, but that didn't mean they stopped trusting him.
They had all watched Eldrant, the replicated Hod, fall. They all watched as the place crumbled and broke violently, slowly dwindling their hope that he would survive.
But it didn't mean they stopped believing he would.
It was an awkward silence when the place stopped crumbling. It just sat there, quiet, and crushed. They all could only stare at it, hoping and wondering if he was okay.
They all realized something then, and it had all effected them somehow, that awkward silence, reaching into their hearts, and rewiring their systems someway.
Jade, the one who was usually organized and on top of things, for once in a long while, not since he was a child powerless at his dead professor's corpse, felt helpless.
He felt his age hit him, he felt feeble, he forgot the others for a while, and all he could see was the remains of Eldrant. He wanted to run into the rubble, and see if the once spoiled, now grown-up and more mature boy was alive. He wanted to dig through it, find him and make sure he was safe or alive, hell; he wouldn't even care if he found him dead, just as long as he was there.
No. No, he told himself. That would be foolish.
He pushed the spontaneous idea away. Jade scolded himself for being so naïve and stupid.
Luke wasn't there.
He was gone, and he wasn't going to come back anytime soon.
It could be months. He told himself over and over again, It could be years. I shouldn't wait.
Still, he wanted to wait. Wanted to see if Luke would be safe and keep his promises.
The boy had grown on him.
He watched the spoiled and easily angered boy grow to a more mature and determined young man. He wanted to change. He wanted to grow.
Luke wanted to become his own person.
Jade hadn't seen such innocent determination in a long time. In his career, all he had seen were men gain rank for greed or money, or respect.
But Luke? He wanted to change for himself, his friends, to become a better person.
It was inspiring.
So, Jade saluted to Luke, to Eldrant, his possible burial place, to the untainted determination that lay in Luke's heart, wherever he is, on Aldrant, or in Heaven.
And, he waited patiently.
Anise felt tears warm and sting her eyes. She wanted to cry and run to Eldrant, yelling at him, threatening him if he didn't live. You promised, she would yell, you promised, so you better be alive, you idiot.
But she didn't. She fought off the craving to.
He wouldn't want her to do such a thing anyway.
He had grown into someone more grown-up and trustworthy. Someone Anise could respect someone who didn't annoy her. Yes, she would tease him, but it was her own way of showing affection.
Luke had become a part of her life, and she wanted him to stay.
He was like a big brother, or maybe even a little brother.
This thought made Anise giggle in a very silent tone.
She wanted to throw back her head and laugh and cry at the same time. He was a great friend, a wonderful comrade, and a brilliant person. He sacrificed himself for them, for the world. He was respectable, and just…
…astonishing.
Now, he was gone.
Anise thanked the heavens above, Lorelei, Ion, any higher being that helped her meet this amazing and wonderful person.
She wouldn't let him walk out of her life so easily though.
You're coming back, Luke. She told him wordlessly, You're too awesome to be gone like that. Besides, you promised. If you break your promise, than you're just an insensitive jerk to have tricked a cute girl like me like that.
Anise grinned, knowing full well it was probably not the right time.
He would come back, and she would wait for him.
Natalia felt her legs weaken when she saw Eldrant fall. She felt her heart drop and her stomach lurch.
Again? She asked herself, was she left alone again?
No.
No, she had other people by her side. She knew she wasn't alone.
And he was still there too.
He wasn't there physically, and yes, her heart hurt. But later, months after the incident, she would realize he was still there.
Luke was there with her in heart and in memory.
If Natalia would ever grow sad, she would hold back the tears, and only remember happy times with Luke, and not grieve over how she will never have any more, but look forward to the fact that when he came back, they will make new ones together.
However, that would be later for her, and this was now.
Eldrant was destroyed, and she feared he was gone; he was dead, along with Asch's corpse.
She began to cry, silently however, but wiped away the tears, blinking away the new oncoming ones.
She had to be strong. Natalia could be sensitive at times, but now wasn't the time.
Natalia had to be brave, and hope Luke would prove her wrong.
I'll pray for you. I'll pray for you to come back Luke, so I won't have to grieve for you. You wouldn't let us do that, would you? She asked him wordlessly, knowing he wouldn't answer, and closed her eyes, her heart still aching horribly.
She knew she would grow up in due time.
Guy was different. Different at how he reacted. He didn't watch solemnly like the others, or begin to laugh silently like Anise. He didn't cry or smile.
He nodded curtly to Eldrant.
It was a sort of salute, a sort of wave to his precious friend. He didn't leave one ounce of room in his heart and mind to doubt his return. He trusted Luke; he had no reason not to.
Guy always counted on Luke, even when he was spoiled and selfish. When he was a child, he showed him that maybe revenge really wasn't the answer.
He had changed him.
How can I move forward if I cling onto memories?
You're coming back, he wanted to say. You're coming back to us, because you said you would. It could probably be longer than wanted, but you're going to come back either way, because you promised us, because you promised her.
But Guy didn't say anything, because it didn't need to be said. It was there already, even if he didn't say it. It was there, hanging in the air, silently and politely. Guy knew it was there. He bet if Luke could see them, he'd know it too.
Their friendship, their feelings and care for each other was there. They didn't need to remind each other of the trust they had in each other.
Because they both knew it would always be there, no matter what. There was no reason for it to leave.
Just like there was no reason for Guy to doubt Luke's promise to return.
If he had a reason to be swayed, he needed it. He saw no reason to doubt his selfless friend. He had no reason to doubt this young man that was growing to know the world, to accept it and to learn about all it's ugly faults, and not just live with them, but try to fix them as much as he can.
For all this, Guy respected Luke, and believed in him, because he had a million reasons to.
So, Guy would wait for him to come back, because Luke had too many reasons to.
Tear cried.
It wasn't immediately, nor was it afterwards when they left to the Albiore to give their reports to all the leaders. It wasn't alone in her cabin, although she cried there too.
It was at least a few minutes afterwards that she began to cry silently, but still in full view.
Her heart was aching and she didn't care if they all saw her tears. She didn't care about her policy of not letting others see her cry. Even in the most heart-wrenching situations, Tear stayed strong for herself and for the others.
She was a soldier.
But now, she told herself that the fight was over, and for awhile she wasn't a soldier, but someone that had just watched her respected teacher and her dearest brother die, as well as the man she loved disappear. And for that, for all the pain she was feeling, she let herself cry, because she knew one of them wouldn't want her not to hold it in, but to let it all out.
She knew that person would most likely be him.
He always cared for her in his own little ways. Always trying to show he cared for her, and trying to keep the world in mind as well. When he swore to sacrifice himself at Daath, she knew he remembered her promise to hate him, but he still thought of everyone else more.
Tear found that to be the most heroic thing Luke had done.
He wasn't thinking of himself, nor was he thinking of just a group of people, but he was thinking of the whole world, how it should've been. Luke was thinking of the world his friends would live in, rather than the emotions they were feeling then.
And for that, all that selflessness, all that consideration, Tear had fallen for Luke.
She didn't have any regrets for now. She had told him.
Luke knew Tear loved him.
And that was good. He was gone, and so was Legretta, and Van. Tear let herself cry over their losses, but she also let herself take pride in knowing how valiant and respectful these people were. She was happy to have known them, happy to have met them.
She was happy to know that the world was saved, as well.
And Tear was happy to have told him how she felt about him.
Yet, she cried.
She cried because he was gone, because he had sacrificed himself.
But that didn't mean he was dead.
She never let the possibility exist. She pushed it far, far away from her. It wasn't there. She never gave it a chance.
He's coming back. He has to come back.
He wasn't given the chance to choose between dieing or coming back, to her there was only one option, and that was coming back. There was no way around it, and call her stubborn, but that's just how Tear was.
She loved him that much.
"Hey."
Noelle had broken the silence for them all, and some of the group looked to her, some leaving their gaze on Eldrant. Noelle suddenly felt uncomfortable to have broken into their train of thoughts, like she wasn't meant to.
It didn't matter now; it had been done.
"Um…I think we should be going…um…now…I-I mean, what now, guys?" She asked in a barely audible tone, her voice small. Her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. Guy nodded solemnly, seeing her discomfort.
"Yeah. We've spent enough time here. Jade?"
"A-Ah, yes…we should report on Van's defeat and the freeing of Lorelei. Let's leave for…Daath? Or Baticul?" He asked, regaining his composure, returning to his façade of a colonel once again. He looked to Natalia for an answer. She looked down, tearing her gaze from Eldrant, and gulped.
"G-Grand Chokmah, I think, would be a good place to start…" She mumbled her voice low and choked from holding back tears. She didn't want her father to see her like this, and she was sure none of them wanted to tell Luke's parents of what had happened to him. And to go to Daath, they would probably be reminded of Van or Ion, and Yulia City was also a bitter reminder of Van.
Natalia was trying her best to keep the pain away as much as she could for her, and for the rest of them.
Jade stared at her for awhile and nodded.
"Right. To Grand Chokmah it is then."
So the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and the months into years. They all waited for him patiently, all knowing and trusting he would come back.
In a way, they wouldn't let the memory of him die. If he couldn't be there with them, alive, then the event of him saving the world would be kept alive for him till he came back.
In a way, they all kept the impact he made on them live on.
"S-So, you're really Colonel Jade Curtiss?"
Jade suppressed a sigh. He was still as much a legend as he was a year back. He predicted what they would say next: "Jade the Necromancer?"
It was getting quite tiresome, he noticed; perhaps he should threaten someone one day with his 'necromantic' abilities.
No,he chuckled inwardly, that would be rather unprofessional and cruel of me.
"The one who survived Eldrant?"
Jade glanced to his new brigadier general. He liked Frings better; he didn't act so astonished at the sight of him. He acted like a soldier, only focusing on his duties, not the one who gave them to him.
But Frings was dead, and life went on.
"Yes. That's me." He answered calmly.
"Is it true that you helped defeat…Vandesdelca?"
Jade felt his spine stiffen. They were calling him by his real name now? That didn't matter. Legends always found a way of twisting themselves.
The colonel felt a smile tug at his lips and shook his head.
"No, it wasn't me, really." He half-chuckled, one of his mysterious smiles showing once again. "I helped. Now, the one who really defeated him was a certain dense, red-haired, Kimlascan noble…"
She loved her daughter. She had such extravagant ways of explaining things; still retaining her imagination even at the age of fourteen.
"And with the help of Tokunaga, I hit him with a one-two punch! He never knew what hit him!" Anise beamed, punching the air as demonstration. Pamela laughed and patted her daughter on the head.
"So, it's safe to assume you and Tokunaga saved the day?"
Anise smiled shyly and fiddled with her hands, looking down. She kicked her legs thoughtlessly.
"Well…Not really…" Anise laughed sheepishly. Her mother raised an eyebrow at the little girl that sat on her lap.
"What do you mean?"
"I…I had someone to help me. You know that really sad looking red-haired guy? Luke? Yeah, he helped too…Tear did a lot too. You should've seen them, Mama. Luke looked really cool with the Sword of Lorelei and…"
"Still visiting?"
Natalia felt her body freeze and looked behind her. She relaxed a bit, seeing who it was, and smiled.
"I can say the same thing about you, Count Gailardia."
He laughed and rubbed the back of his head; Natalia noticed he always did that when he was flustered. She bet he knew it as well.
"C-C'mon, Princess. In Kimlasca, I'm just Guy. Just a retired servant of the House of Fabre." He corrected her humbly. Natalia sighed and looked ahead once again.
"You do not have to call me 'Princess'. We're friends; you may address me as Natalia, if you wish."
Guy didn't respond to her comeback and walked next to her. They both stood in somber silence, looking intently at the same thing.
Luke's grave.
"…I see you still visit his grave as well?" She asked quietly. Guy nodded.
"Mmhm."
Silence once again.
"Did you..?"
"The flowers?"
"Yeah…"
"Yes, that was me. Pere gave them to me at my request."
"I see…"
A wind blew by them, as if cueing the silence that came.
"But, it feels a bit absurd." She blurted out. Guy glanced to her.
"What is?"
"Me, bringing him flowers."
He stayed silent for awhile. He knew why she thought that; he had been thinking the same thing.
"Why do you say that?"
Yet, he still urged her to voice her feelings. Guy knew how Natalia worked. She was sensitive to the world, naïve to emotion. She had a hard time coping with things, and when she had to, she instantly broke down.
She was delicate.
So he had learned, that when one tried to cheer her up, that you had to go slowly, take her step-by-step. You had to say the right things and make sure to not give her the wrong idea.
You had to take her hand and guide her like you would a fragile child.
So Guy began to the process of helping her cope, like he did when she found out she wasn't an actual bloodline princess.
"Because…" she began, "Luke isn't dead."
Natalia stopped there, and fiddled with her hands. Guy nodded curtly. "Go on." He urged.
"What is there to go on about?"
"Why don't you think he's dead?"
"Why do you?" She snapped at him, feeling offended at the question and at the hint that Guy had already lost hope. Guy resisted the urge to smile. She was getting there…
"I mean, Luke promised. He promised to come back! He made a promise to all of us, and I trust him. He's coming back; it's just taking longer than we all expected." She explained and hugged herself.
"And for that, Luke isn't dead. This grave shouldn't even be here! I don't even know why I brought flowers now; Luke isn't dead! He's our friend and…and I refuse to believe he'd just disappear like that!"
Natalia glared at the grave marker, as if explaining to it that it shouldn't exist. She felt the hope and trust swell in her heart, and she stood up straighter, feeling quite proud of herself.
Guy smiled warmly and wiped Natalia's cheeks of her tears. She stiffened. When had she started crying…?
"You're right, Natalia; you're absolutely right." He whispered. Natalia looked to Guy with sad eyes.
"You're over your fear?" she asked with an amazed and hushed voice. Guy drew back his hand. The princess noticed it was shaking a bit.
"Not really." He laughed nervously. "But I'm getting there." He finished with a cheery tone. Natalia felt her heart warm. Guy, always the optimist.
"Like you."
"What?" Natalia blinked in confusion.
"You're getting there too."
"What do you-?"
"You're growing up, Natalia. Maturing."
"…I suppose this ordeal has all matured us, one way or another."
A silence lay between them.
"Do you think…he's growing up too? Wherever he is?"
Guy stayed quiet and looked up.
"Luke? No. He's plenty grown up."
The thing that was most ironic about her actions was the fact of who was associated with them. She was also pretty sure that she would've done what she was doing, regardless of him and if he had returned.
Yet, it was different for some reason.
When she would do what she is doing previously, it was like routine. It was…disheartening in a way. Like how one would feel if they had to say goodbye to a loved one, or how one would feel if they had to give up a favorite pet.
Sad, but a sort of normal sadness.
Normal, every-day, not-too-different sadness was bearable. There was the feeling of hurt there, but it would clear up just as soon. You would shrug it off for awhile, and go on with your life, and you wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night crying from a nightmare of it, or grimace at the mere mention of it.
That was how Tear felt when she tended to the selenias in her house.
The white flowers always glowed with a sort of everyday beauty (like a sunset that you would see day after day), and she liked it. She loved the gorgeous flora, and would appreciate the brightness they brought in her usually gloomy and emotionless life.
Yet, they also brought back painful memories.
Van had been the one to plant them at first, to help his little sister learn to live in the Qliphoth. To brighten up the city she disliked.
So, when Tear would tend to the flowers, she would be reminded of Van. At first when she tended them, she enjoyed it; she loved her big brother. However, after she had learned of Van's plans, she could barely do anything but look at them. Awhile after, when she thought they had killed Van, she forced herself to take care of them. She grew used to the pain, and with time, like scars, it dulled. She wasn't as sad as she was passive. The pain became bearable, and more of a small scrape, then a large cut.
Although, now, after having known that Van was truly dead, she tended to them for a different person, for a different reason, with new pain.
Tear tended to the flowers for Luke.
She closed her eyes and remembered his thought on them.
They're beautiful.
She smiled and watered them some more. Tear sighed and stared at them.
It truly is ironic. She thought, To think, I'm tending to the flowers that were planted by the man who knew me best, and taking care of them for the man I know best.
Tear vowed to take care of them. To keep them alive and healthy so that, when Luke came back, she would show them to him.
It was her own little way of reminding herself that she had to wait.
That was also the new pain Tear had to take on. To wait for him, the one she loved, for however long that took.
She didn't mind, either.
It felt nice for some reason. Whenever she thought about it, her heart would ache, but her blood would warm and she'd feel great just as well. She looked forward to his return, but also lamented over the fact she had to wait.
Tear knew she truly was in love with Luke.
She smiled.
And that is something she didn't mind either.
"Are you…waiting?"
She smiled a sad smile at him and shook her head.
"You know, that's always been your thing. You know how people are feeling all the time. How do you do it?"
He laughed an empty laugh and shrugged. "I…I never noticed. I suppose it comes naturally."
Her eyes grew worried.
"You seem angry."
"S'pose I am."
"Do you…I mean, Tear suggested it, and…"
Guy nodded his head. "If it wouldn't be too much to ask. I don't want to be a bother."
Noelle shook her head. "It's no bother-" She began but stopped mid-sentence and looked behind him. Guy noticed this and looked with her.
Natalia was running toward them.
"W-Wait! I know it might be too much to ask, but, I was wondering-!"
"Are you coming too?" Noelle asked dimly. Natalia processed her interruption and realized Guy was there too.
"Um…Y-Yes…I suppose if we're all heading to the same destination…" She answered flustered. Noelle nodded.
"I guess that's everyone."
Natalia furrowed her brows in confusion.
"Whatever do you mean? The others are there as well?" She asked, her head tilting to the side a bit. The female pilot nodded.
"Yup. Anise asked as soon as Tear suggested it. I went to go check on Jade and he had agreed reluctantly. I came here for you guys, and…well here we are." Noelle explained.
Guy crossed his arms and sighed.
"Hey. You think we can still join them?" He asked quietly. Noelle could hear the faint sadness in his voice. She knew why he was not only angry, but sad.
I mean, seeing all of you friend's loved ones just talk as if he was dead right in front of you would make anyone frustrated.
She smiled a warm smile to him.
"Don't worry. I'll get you all there quickly." She promised. Guy stared at her and nodded curtly. She motioned to the Albiore at the dock.
"Shall we go?"
It was just like last time. An awkward silence, everyone keeping to themselves, their thoughts and their emotions.
A cold wind flew by them, and then just silence. Nothing could be said, nothing had to be said, and nothing should be said. It was just there, and they had to deal with it.
It's where it all started. I…think it's right to go there instead of the ceremony. He's still alive. He's still around. I think…I think we should wait for him there. Where it had all started.
They all remembered the words on the letter Tear had sent all of them.
Anise agreed full-heartedly. It seemed right, and she trusted Tear.
Jade was reluctant. Should he really believe in such a baseless, impulsive idea?
Then after a while, he agreed to come. Why not? He had nothing better to do…
Guy didn't want to go. He wanted to celebrate it with Luke's family first; he thought it was the right thing to do.
But after being there, he grew angry with them. Hypocrites. He wanted to yell at every single one of them that they were hypocrites.
You say you knew Luke! If you truly knew him, then you'd know he isn't dead, and that he made a promise to come back!
Although, he didn't say this to any of them, and kept it inside. Guy wondered if this was because he still had some harbored hate for the Duke.
He'd probably never know.
Natalia disagreed as well. She had a duty as a princess to attend the ceremony. She told herself it was the noble thing to do.
But it wasn't the right thing for a friend to do.
Natalia realized this. Didn't she say she accepted Luke as her childhood friend? So why was she treating him like any other citizen?
She scolded herself for this, and ran from them all. To where the others were.
And now, here they were. All waiting, like they promised they would. All knowing, wishing, and hoping that he'd come back.
Because, he was their friend, their comrade, their leader.
Tear closed her eyes, and felt her heart swell. A wind blew by her and she opened her eyes to the selenias, to the moon, and to the vast sea.
So this is the sea?
She smiled. How much Luke had grown to know the world…
Tear began to sing.
She wanted him to hear it. She wanted him to come back tonight, to them, to see them. To return to them.
Jade wanted him to come back, because he promised he would.
Anise wanted him to come back, because she wanted to thank him for having met her.
Natalia wanted him to come back because she missed her 'childhood friend'.
Guy wanted him to come back because he wanted Luke to prove to all those back in Baticul wrong; to prove to them that he was strong like Guy knew he was.
Tear wanted him to come back, because she loved him.
And so, they all listened to her song, the Grand Fonic Hymn, with solemn, but hopeful silence.
And they would wait, like they had all promised to.
Because they all believed in him.
That's the end of it! Thank you for reading :3
I…apologize for all the bad grammar, and the even worse ending. I totally could've written that better. Dx
And sorry in general for the wordy paragraphs. I…realize I do that too much, and for that, I am a bad writer. :(
Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day! Ciao!
-Apple Fairy
