A/N: This began as a prompt from Nyxako, who has also graciously beta'd for me because SHE IS THE BEST. These chapters will be short because they were originally posted on Tumblr. You can follow me on Tumblr at tipsyraconteur!
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"Give me one good reason I should wear a dress."
Sakura watched Kakashi's shapely lips as he spoke, unable to stop herself from staring. Seeing him without his mask was enough to drive her to distraction; having him sit in front of her in a hotel room in nothing but his black pants was blowing her mind. She'd privately guessed that he was good-looking, but she'd never expected him to be gorgeous.
Today, she was going to make him beautiful. And if it meant she got to touch her former sensei way more than she'd ever had opportunity to do before, well, that was just a perk.
"Stop talking," she fussed, focusing once more on applying the bright crimson shade to his lips. She'd already applied a good layer of foundation, along with the concealer that hid his scar and tattoo. "Besides, you know why. If we're going to have any chance of attaining the information we need, we're going to need to get backstage, and you're the only hope we have of doing that." Pulling back to survey her work, she mimed smacking her lips together. "Go like this."
Kakashi pressed his lips together and released them with a pop, which made her giggle, which made him scowl. "That doesn't mean I have to wear a dress. I could wear… a pantsuit, or something."
That just made her giggle again. "You're infiltrating a drag club, not running for office." When he didn't respond with anything besides a sulky pout—which made his lips look even better, damn him—she grinned at him and continued. "You know, you did ask Naruto for an assignment. This is kind of your fault."
"This is not the kind of assignment I had in mind," he groused, muttering something under his breath about 'ungrateful brats'. His eyes narrowed, the action rendered more dramatic by the thick false eyelashes he wore, which caused Sakura to (badly) suppress a snicker. "You didn't have anything to do with this, did you?"
"Absolutely not, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura quickly insisted. He didn't need to know that Naruto's plan had originally been for Sakura to infiltrate as a make-up artist with Kakashi waiting outside as backup, just like he didn't need to know about the devious look that Naruto had gotten when Sakura had suggested a different idea. She had made Naruto swear that he would never tell, and he'd promised he wouldn't, as long as she gave him all of the details.
Clapping her hands together, she changed the subject, hoping he would follow suit. "Your make-up looks fantastic. Time for the dress, and then your wig. I put everything you need in the bathroom. Do you need me to help you with the bra and inserts? They can be a little—"
Kakashi cut her off with a rather loud groan as he made his way to the bathroom. "Please don't make this worse by talking about it. I know how a bra works, I think I can handle it from here."
"Okay. You did remember to shave everything, right? The hose is pretty sheer, and I don't know if it'll cover—" Sakura was once again cut off as the bathroom door slammed, practically in her face. Rather than being offended, she had to clap her hands over her mouth to smother another peal of laughter. Naruto was going to fucking die when she reported everything back to him.
Snapping back to attention, Sakura set about getting herself ready for the evening. While Kakashi infiltrated the actual business and entertainment side of the club, Sakura would be going in as a customer to provide back-up, just in case. She quickly put on her own dress and make-up while amusedly listening to the occasional thumps and curses coming from the bathroom. She couldn't wait to tell Naruto that Kakashi had a vocabulary that could blister paint, that apparently only came out when he was trying to put on pantyhose.
Right around the time she was looking at herself in the mirror and verifying that she did, indeed, look good, the bathroom door opened and a sullen Kakashi slouched out, his poor posture doing very little to make his shimmering red dress look good. Turning, Sakura said, "Stand up straight. Not like that, you look like you're going to hit someone. Stick out your boo—uh, your chest."
His expression grew more thunderous, but he did as she asked. Sakura smiled to herself as she let her eyes travel over his form, stopping when she noticed how his smooth abdomen led to the lack of a bulge of any kind. That was new. Not that she'd ever checked out his crotch before… that would be wrong.
Noticing her stare, Kakashi narrowed his glitter-enhanced eyes and ground out, "What."
Don't say it don't say it don't say it, Sakura's brain tried to tell her, but biting her lip only barely managed to stifle her laugh before she finally blurted, "What did you do with it?"
"Sakura," he growled, his voice a warning, and she burst into full-blown laughter this time.
"You're right, you're right, I don't want to know," she said between a few unladylike snorts. Moving to the hotel room's modest vanity, she patted the seat in front of it. "Come on, let's get your wig on."
After watching him sit on the small upholstered stool, Sakura picked up the wig cap she'd laid on the vanity and began to put it on Kakashi, using her fingers to tuck strands of his unruly hair beneath it. When the pads of her fingers lightly brushed the nape of his neck, he let out a strangled sound that sounded an awful lot like a giggle. Grinning, Sakura did it again, and his strangled sound was accompanied by him uncomfortably shifting on the seat.
"You're doing that on purpose," he growled.
"Yup," Sakura answered unrepentantly. "Oh, and could you maybe make your voice a little higher? You have to work on your character."
Glaring at her with eyes that could melt steel, he said again, this time in a higher voice, "You're doing that on purpose." When her grin only widened, he added, in the same high voice, "And you can go fuck yourself."
He looked unimpressed as she started laughing again, her cheeks glowing, her pulse slightly elevated. It's not like she was getting off on dressing Kakashi in drag against his will; it's just that the situation seemed to have thrown him off enough that he was treating her like more of a peer, instead of just his former student. Although she doubted he looked at her in any way near to the way she'd begun to look at him, it was nice to be treated like an equal.
Also, she was getting off on dressing Kakashi in drag against his will.
"Okay, almost done. Now for the wig," Sakura sang perkily, setting about her task. The wig she'd chosen was a mass of jet-black curls that contrasted with his skin and made it glow. When she was finished, she stepped back and looked at him in the mirror, her eyes dancing with excitement. "Get up and give the shoes a try now."
With the kind of sigh a man makes on his way to the gallows, Kakashi stood and walked over to the red sparkly heels she'd picked out for him. Flashing her another glare, he walked the length of the hotel room, and her jaw dropped.
"How the hell do you know how to walk in heels?" she demanded.
Walking back toward the mirror, Kakashi absently answered, "One time, Anko said that no man could ever handle running in heels, and Gai took it as a challenge and bet me—" Pausing, as if just then realizing what he was about to reveal, he glared at her again in the mirror. "You know, you don't need to know the answer to that question."
She'd been expecting him to say something about how graceful ninja are required to be. This was just getting better and better. Studying him from the back this time, Sakura couldn't help but notice how nice the view was. Sure, she may have noticed—innocently noticed—that he had quite a nice backside one or two times in the past. But she'd never seen it draped in red, sparkly, gauzy fabric before. It looked amazing. She was actually kind of jealous.
"See something you like, Sakura?" Kakashi teased in a suddenly syrupy voice, his voice rising a little higher as he purred, "Questioning your sexuality, maybe?"
For the second time that evening, her jaw dropped, her cheeks burning. Apparently, he'd decided to embrace the situation and return fire. "You're enjoying this," she accused.
"Just getting into character, darling," he drawled, tossing his ebony curls over one shoulder. Sakura's eyes were as big as saucers. What the hell was happening?
Turning, Kakashi smirked at her agog expression and patted her on the head, his voice briefly returning to normal. "Anything worth doing is worth doing right. Besides…" he paused, leaning in until his lips were by her ear, causing her to shiver. "If you tell anyone about this, they'll never find your body."
Straightening, he gave her a sparkly wink that only made her blush further as he added, back in his character voice, "Come on, sweetheart, it's showtime."
Once more tossing his hair over his shoulder, Kakashi strode out of the room without a backward glance. Blinking owlishly at him, Sakura stood for one long dumbfounded moment before she grabbed her purse and scrambled after him.
There was no way she was going to miss this.
