Evangelion:
(Never) Alone
Episode 1
First Contact
The evening sun shone through the carriage window as the train made it's way down the railroad to nowhere. The wheels screeched against the old, rusted tracks and the inside of the carriage was dyed a deep red, just like the world outside. Shinji Ikari had been here before, the last time on the night of the Unit 03 incident. But this time, something was different. The Third Child felt himself moving forward, as if walking, yet he sat perfectly still and in the distance, he could swear he heard the faint sound of someone yelling. Lastly, Rei Ayanami was nowhere to be seen. Instead, just across from him, sat The Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa.
"Why do you cling to that thing so desperately?" He said, looking down at the SDAT player in Shinji's hand, his voice devoid of all the warmth and emotion it had when he was alive. His face was obscured by the shadows, save for his deep, crimson eyes that seemed to stare right through the boy who had sealed his fate. Shinji sat there in the fetal position, not even bothering to look up at his late friend.
Another, younger Shinji stood nearby, gazing back at the silver haired teen. "It's all I have left..." He whispered as his older self buried his face in his knees. His headphones were on and the tape in the cassette wound back and forth but the music had stopped playing long ago. "It's all that's left of my past. Everything else is gone. Or it's changed so much I can't recognize it." "But those times are gone forever now." Kaworu replied coldly. "Nothing can bring them back, You should know that." The teenaged Shinji held the cassette player firmly in his hand, as if it could somehow protect him from the brutal reality of this terrifying new world.
"But instead," Kaworu continued, "You denied the truth. You refused to listen to your friends or even to me." Shinji's body tensed as his former friend spoke, his voice harsh and accusing. "I... I just wanted to make things right again-" The boy whispered back but Kaworu cut him off. "No. All you wanted was your happiness back." Tears trickled down Shinji's cheeks as his body shook with anger. "You thought only of yourself and cared nothing for the consequences of your actions."
"So what if I did!?" Shinji screamed, his face red with fury. "Nobody else ever cared enough to think of me!" Seele's child remained unfazed. "You know that isn't true." He said. "There were plenty of people who cared about you. You had Misato Katsuragi, the woman who took you into her home. You had Rei Ayanami, who protected you with her own life. You had Touji and Kensuke, Asuka Shikinami, Sakura Suzuhara and myself. But when it mattered most you turned away from them, and it cost them their homes, their loved ones and even their lives."
"SHUT UP!" The SDAT player went right through Kaworu Nagisa and shattered against the wall. "Just leave me alone..." When Shinji looked up again, the train carriage was empty. "K- Kaworu?" There was no response. "Please... Come back..." The child cried softly, but the silver haired boy did not return. Just another friend he'd driven away. "Why?" He sobbed as his fingers dug into his leg. "Why do I throw away everyone who matters to me?"
"Because you are weak."
Shinji gasped as he looked up one last time to see a tall, shadowy figure looking back at him. Every movement he made, the shadow mimicked perfectly. It didn't seem to want to hurt him, but there was something strange and alien about it, and it's presence made the rickety train feel eerily still and silent. "Who are you?" Shinji whispered as he backed away from the creature. It followed him. "What do you want from me!?"
He wouldn't get his answer as all of a sudden, the distant yelling drew closer. The voice slowly grew in volume until it was almost deafening and, at last, Shinji remembered where he had heard it before.
"-you're not going to fix anything by crying like a spoiled little brat. Now get up, take it like a man and do something useful with your life for once!"
And then, he woke up.
"Gott im Himmel, took you long enough." Asuka growled as the Third Child's eyes lit up. After over half a day traveling the wastes of a post Third Impact Japan, the ingrate had finally snapped out of it, if only for a moment. The boy yelped in surprise as Captain Shikinami let go of him, and he fell back onto the hot, red sand that now covered most of the Earth.
The Ayanami Type was with them as well, sat on the ground and gazing off into the distance, as if lost in thought. Looking around, Shinji could see that Asuka had pulled the two of them into a shallow cave at the bottom of a canyon. "You almost got yourself killed you know?" She said bitterly as she dug through her backpack. "If I hadn't dragged your sorry ass in here that Nemesis Series would have ripped you apart." Shinji said nothing. He just curled up and tried to block out the horrible reality he found himself in.
"You're welcome." Asuka grunted as she pulled her comm device out of the pack. No signal. "Alright." She sighed as she made her way out. "I'm gonna go see if I can get a signal for any nearby outposts." She looked back at her two "travelling companions". Neither out them seemed likely to run. The clone had gone with her of her own free will and Shinji was barely sentient anymore. "You two… stay here and make sure neither of you does something stupid." She got no response, as she expected. "Ugh, I didn't sign up for babysitting duty…"
With that, the other two were left alone, free to do as they wished, if they had anything to do. Rei Ayanami looked over at the boy she had retrieved from WILLE only a week ago. He was the first person to ever speak with her, other than to give orders. For the first few days, he'd shown a genuine interest in her, bringing her books, asking about her life; things the Commander had never bothered with. But now, he avoided her. He didn't even want to talk about her.
All because she wasn't "his Rei."
What did that even mean? Another Rei Ayanami… She'd never heard of another Commander Ikari, or another Kaworu Nagisa. Why was there more than one of her, why was Shinji so attached to her, and most importantly, what did that make her?
"What was she like?" She asked, causing the Third Child to raise his head. "What?" He said flatly. "The other Rei Ayanami. What was she like?" Shinji gave her no reply. What he did give her was a look. It was the kind of look she was not used to seeing; one she did not really understand. But for whatever reason, it made her feel… uncomfortable.
The boy looked away again. It was clear that he was not interested in talking to her. Had she offended him? Was she asking the wrong questions? Or maybe, she had just asked the wrong person.
Asuka stared at the foil package grimly as it sat atop the tiny gas stove, the dim flames being their only light, now that night had fallen. She never thought she'd miss military rations. Those at least tasted halfway decent when cooked. Nutrient paste was barely palatable, no matter what you did with it.
She'd had no luck with the comm device. The only signal she'd gotten was from an independent colony several miles away, and they weren't exactly the generous kind. Better to find an outpost loyal to WILLE. At least they wouldn't demand compensation for returning her to the Wunder.
The Captain peeled the tin foil cover away, sighing at the pale yellow slurry that lay inside. It was supposed to be curry flavoured but it had no spice to it, and it tasted about as similar to curry as curry did to ragu. It was all made from the same ingredients anyway, but they gave it individual flavours to improve morale, remind them of better times, before he messed everything up.
Sat across from her, curled up in the fetal position, was the boy who had brought the world to its knees. One of the first people to treat her as something other than a military asset, or an angry bitch to be avoided, the first person she'd ever really dared to think of as a friend, and perhaps something more, now just an empty shell, broken by the weight of his own foolish mistakes.
The clone wasn't much better, just the latest in a long line of Ayanami Types, another painful reminder of the past. She followed whatever orders she was given and that was about it. She scarcely said a word, and when she did it was usually just "I don't know" or "Is that an order?" Which is why it was so surprising to actually hear her speak up for once.
"Captain Shikinami, may I ask you a question?" The redhead shrugged. "I've got nothing better to do." The clone stared blankly. "That means yes." "I see…" The Ayanami type replied, as if Asuka had just shared some profound knowledge. "What can you tell me about the other Rei Ayanami?" Shinji's breathing quickened as his fingers dug into his leg. Asuka paid him no attention. The fate of the world didn't depend on whether or not some selfish kid's feelings weren't hurt.
"Not much to tell really." She said as she started on her food. "She looked the same as you, kept to herself, didn't talk much but, more than you do." She swallowed the paste as quickly as possible. No use savouring something like that. "I guess she was kinda lonely but we barely talked." The Ayanami Type nodded quietly. "So, why is there another one of me?" "Because you're a clone." The captain said simply. "A copy made to do Ikari's dirty work. We've fought dozens of you over the years. Even the first Rei was just a clone of some woman Ikari knew-" "Mother…"
Asuka almost jumped when she heard Shinji speak, for the first time since she'd pulled him out of Unit 13's entry plug. "What?" "She's a clone of my mother." The boy said, looking up for a brief moment before curling back up. "Don't know why he used her though…" Asuka blinked in disbelief. "How do you even know that?" "Fuyutski told me." Was the reply. 'Jesus…' The Second Child thought. She knew Gendo was a sick man but she never imagined he'd clone his dead wife just to use as cannon fodder.
"Where is the other Rei Ayanami?" The clone asked. "I… wish to meet her." "She's gone!" Shinij snapped before Asuka could answer her. "She was…" He choked back the tears. "She was eaten by an Angel got absorbed by Unit 1." The boy shivered as he was forced to relive the night of his greatest failure. "Now she's gone forever. All because…" Tears ran down his eye, and his throat felt tighter and dryer with every word he spoke. "All because I ran away!"
Asuka regarded him coldly. Even when he did take responsibility for his actions he still had to make it all about himself. Him, or the pale skinned doll he'd ravage the planet over. Still, at least he was taking some responsibility for once. "Let's just get to sleep." She said finally. "We'll need to get up early. We've got a long way to go before we make it back to civilization."
The clone obediently climbed into her sleeping bag as Asuka snuffed the flame out but Shinji stayed put, sniffling pathetically. For a moment, Asuka thought of tearing into him, for acting like a child, for thinking only of himself, for almost wiping out all of humanity, again. But she was too tired to yell, and it wasn't worth it to berate him for being a brat when he was doing a good enough job f that himself. Instead she just tucked herself in and left the Third Child alone with his guilt.
He'd just have to learn to suck it up and get used to the pain, if he was ever to have any hope of surviving in this world.
The world he had brought to its knees.
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of my first ever story. Just a heads up but it will probably take a couple more chapters before we get into the real meat of the story, we'll have to see. If there's anything you think I could have done better, don't be afraid to let me know- Rollin Around
Edit: So after looking back at this chapter, it looks a lot shorter than it did in Word and feels a little rushed. I promise chapter 2 will be a little longer.
