Greetings.
This story is set sometime before the future arc, in one of those rare moments when everything isn't going crazy.
That being said, there are elements I've made up, so don't worry if you read a section and don't remember it being in the manga/anime or if it contradicts either.
I also rated it M because it has some swearing, and... I'd rather be safe than sorry. XD
Well, I'll shut up now and let you read!
...
Squalo grabbed Chrome's arm just as she tried to sneak out Tsuna's back door. She stopped but she didn't turn around to face him. Squalo gritted his teeth and tried his best not to yell his next words,
"He's using you."
Chrome shook her head slowly. Squalo's frown deepened and he snarled. Why couldn't she see that Mukuro didn't care about her? He'd dispose of her first chance he got if she wasn't required for his existence in the world beyond his Vindice cell.
"No... Master Mukuro is really a good person, everyone just can't see past..."
"See past what? What?" Squalo couldn't control his anger. This Mukuro guy pissed him off at the best of times, and for some reason, hearing her call him 'master' was really irksome.
"Hey, who's yelling?" Crap, thought Squalo, it's that Tsuna kid.
"It's Squalo, Boss! I'd recognise that voice anywhere!" And his bloody lapdog, Gokudera.
"Y'think so, Hayato-san? Sounds a bit too...girly to be Squalo." What? WHAT DID TAKESHI JUST SAY? I'LL FUDGING KILL 'IM!
Chrome suddenly turned around and faced Squalo with an expression which seemed to be a mixture of worry and amusement. Her focus was mainly on his chest and waist. All the blood drained from Squalo's face as he remembered why he'd come to Japan ... and why he couldn't possibly ever show his face back at the Varia mansion ever again.
...
Alright, now this was a situation Squalo liked. He'd tied Tsuna and Gokudera together and had knocked out Yamamoto first thing, just in case he tried anything. As soon as he'd let go of Chrome, though, she'd ran out the door.
"Some mist guardian y'got there." He growled at Tsuna before sitting across from his captives, whom he'd propped up in the kitchen.
"So, when did ya get the sex change Squalo?" Gokudera grinned maliciously at him. Squalo was just about to reach over and whack him with his prosthetic limb, when he felt the cool touch of a silencer on his left temple. He narrowed his eyes and growled with annoyance,
"Reborn." He glanced over at the kitchen corner where he'd dumped Yamamoto to find the unconscious body gone.
Cue Takeshi's entrance into the kitchen behind Reborn. He went over and untied Gokudera and Tsuna, with his usual giddy grin on his dumb face. Once he'd untied them he stood up straight and scratched the back of his head, smiling so his eyes squinted into crescents.
"I thought it'd be better for me to get Reborn then to make a fuss. I reckoned you'd have a good reason for what you're doing, cause you're a good guy...uh...I mean...good...girl? No, that doesn't sound right..."
"SHUT. UP. TAKESHI." Squalo growled and Gokudera laughed.
"Now Squalo, if you don't make any sudden movements we can talk this over like reasonable human beings." Reborn said calmly. "Starting with why you're a woman."
The gun was lowered and Squalo sat back in his/her seat. Gokudera was giving Reborn this gobsmacked expression, seemingly too angry to make any words. Reborn merely sat on the table, resting his gun next to him, staring expectantly at Squalo.
"Let him speak Hayato-kun." Tsuna said, his voice quivering slightly.
"B-but, Boss!" He began, but Reborn gave him a glance that silenced him.
Squalo huffed crossly and looked at all the surrounding kids. Just as he opened his mouth Bianchi, Lambo, I-pin, Kyoko, Haru and Dino piled through the kitchen door.
"Heey! What? What're they doin' here?" Squalo objected loudly.
"Hope you don't mind a larger audience, Squalo, but I just had to see this for myself." Dino said just before tripping over I-pin and landing face first on the kitchen floor. Everyone was silent for a second while he quickly got back up and pretended like it hadn't happened.
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IT?" Squalo demanded, last he heard Dino was still in Italy.
"Well, funny story, I was just on my way to see the ninth when I received a report from one of my men. Seems they'd thought you were leaving the country, but halfway through they suddenly stopped and said that they were mistaken..."
"Yeah, yeah, I can see where this is going and no, that is NOT a funny story."
Squalo sighed in defeat and decided that he might as well tell them the story.
"Well, it was just an ordinary day at the Varia HQ..."
I got up, went down for breakfast then headed over to the Boss's office to see if his highness needed anything done. As soon as I'd entered he'd thrown a scrunched up piece of paper at me. I unravelled it to see a shopping list. Boring stuff that he could've gotten anyone to do, but no, it had to be me. Anyway, so I went out bought the load of crap Xanxus wanted and returned, only to find our idiot boss using some grunts as target practice. He was having too much fun so there was no way to get his attention, which was unfortunate for the messengers that the ninth had sent with an order for the Varia. So, as usual I had to take the order from the petrified messengers who were shitting themselves just watching Xanxus laughing maniacally and shooting like a psychotic cowboy.
The order was a bit vague to say the least. It said to go to the Bovino's mansion where some suspicious behaviour had been observed and the Bovino's had requested for someone to look into it. I mean, why couldn't they look after it themselves? Anyway, I left a memo on the boss's desk and went over by myself because I didn't expect it to be anything too dangerous. I found the suspicious people, they were taking crates into some underground bunker when I arrived, but just as I was about to make a move I passed out and three hours later I woke up in the exact same spot.
"...with boobs?" Lambo suddenly shouted and Yamamoto had to hold Squalo back from throttling the kid.
Bianchi nodded thoughtfully and said,
"Yes, your features look a lot softer now, and your voice is much more pleasant, I think you're better this way."
"LIKE I CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION!" Squalo raged at a calm faced Bianchi who merely smiled in response.
"So, Lambo, know anything about this?" Reborn said with a barely restrained annoyance at having to ask the snot-nosed kid anything. Squalo stared at the 5-year-old as he climbed up onto the kitchen table in front of him. He stood there for a moment, then stuck his index finger up his nose and went cross-eyed. "Lambo wants candy." He said. Squalo's right eye twitched and while he was deciding whether to just forget the whole thing, Lambo continued,
"They give Lambo candy. All kinds too! Sour, chewy, lollipops, and Lambo's favourite, Mr. Grape candy!"
"Who are 'they' and why do they give you candy, Lambo?" Reborn inquired.
"They keep saying, over and over; DON'T TELL ANYONE WE ARE HERE. DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON. DON'T EAT THOSE BULLETS, yadda yadda yadda. The people in the white coats are always saying that they'll tell on me to the boss. Meanies, but I like the candies, they're good."
"Bullets, huh?" Reborn muttered reflectively.
"So...uh, what does all this mean Reborn?" Tsuna said with his usual worried expression on his face. Before Reborn could say anything Gokudera chimed in with an evil grin,
"It means Squalo got hit by a girly-bullet!" With that Dino went over and they high-fived each other.
That's it. Squalo couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and was about to leave when Tsuna said something that he wasn't expecting.
"Wait Squalo! Hayato-kun, Dino-kun, don't be so mean!" He walked up to Squalo, albeit cautiously, and said in a quavering voice, "I'm honoured that you decided to come to us for help Squalo. I'm sure we can figure out how to get you back to normal." He looked over at Reborn and he nodded.
"Sit back down Squalo. I've got a hunch as to what to do about this." Reborn said evenly. Squalo grimaced, but went back his seat.
"What? But Boss! Reborn, you can't be serious? We're actually gonna help this guy?" Gokudera exclaimed. Yamamoto laughed and whacked Hayato on the back,
"Of course we are! He's our ally, remember?" Gokudera shrugged him off and muttered something about 'stupid baseball freak', but ceased to argue after that. Dino, suddenly in 'serious mode', leaned forward and leant his palms on the kitchen table,
"So Reborn, what do you suppose this is all about? You seem like you already know." Reborn tilted his head so you couldn't see his eyes and he smiled.
"The Bovino family have long been famous for their inventions of...interesting bullet effects. Many of the transformation bullets that we use were originally designed by Bovino family scientists. A female..."
"Gender-bender-rifle!" Lambo suddenly butted in. Everyone just stared at the little man who was still standing on the table in front of Squalo. He had finally taken his finger out of his nose and was now rummaging through his 'fro. All was silent for a moment then he pulled out a long silver bullet. He held it up triumphantly for everyone to see, and sure enough engraved on one side was the initials 'G.B.R' along with 'Mark I' underneath.
"How did you get that?"Dino asked.
"I heard the white coat guys talking about it and I thought it sounded funny so I borrowed one." He said while grinning mischievously.
"You mean you stole it, you little brat." Gokudera said irritably.
"Please hand it over Lambo." Reborn said, but Lambo wasn't in the mood for cooperating and he jumped off the table and was about to run out the door when Squalo swiftly got up and grabbed Lambo by his afro in one fluid movement. He glared straight into Lambo's eyes and it was only a few seconds before the little cow lost his nerve and dropped the bullet into Squalo's outstretched palm. He dropped Lambo back on the floor and turned around to find everyone was slightly unnerved at his sudden action.
He sneered. Good, they better remember who I am.
He inspected the bullet himself and then handed it to Reborn, who glanced at it and then slid it into his own gun. Squalo raised an eyebrow. "What're you doing?"
Reborn merely chuckled and said,
"We have to test it out." He then speedily aimed it at Tsuna who started to back away rather hastily.
"Are you insane, Reborn?" He wailed, "For all we know that could just be a regular bullet!"
But it was too late...BANG!
