Chapter One,
Coffee does not solve all problems
Norway's usual morning routine consists of waking up, putting on a pair of knitted slippers, somehow find his way to the kitchen, turn on the coffee pot and stare intently at is as if that would make the coffee brew faster, then swallow the coffee as if his life depended on it. Coffee first, everything else second, and then coffee again. Simple.
After the first cup of coffee, he might have a shower, or check his e-mail. Maybe he will make breakfast, a slice of bread with brown cheese or liver paste and gherkin. Then drink a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, check his calendar, and look through his post. All those normal things that normal people tend to do on normal mornings.
However, some days are different. Sometimes the difference is annoying, but common enough. Having guests, for example. An unfortunate consequence of having family or friends is that you interact with them, and sometimes, when they are persistent enough, the interaction might take place over several days, between which those very same individuals simply will not be bothered by finding an alternate place to stay. They will, in other words, occupy the home of the person they perceive as their host, or, as they so quaintly dub it, have a sleepover.
One might find those guests on sofas, on floors, in chairs, beneath tables, in the bathroom, or even in the kitchen, and all too often in various stages of undress and nursing headaches, nausea, broken bones, or other maladies generally associated with excessive drinking, fighting, or family game nights. The rooms that have been used tends to be more disorganised, yet after the guests leaves the situation corrects itself, hence he would not be too bothered those visits. Besides, though they often were loud, annoying, and obnoxious, they could also be very entertaining.
Nevertheless, when one has lived long enough, there will be mornings that are extraordinarily abnormal. In most cases a person wakes up as the same person they were when they went to sleep. Most people never have a lifechanging revelation coming to them in a dream, that somehow changes their entire life. Usually they wake up as the same person, maybe their hair is dishevelled, maybe they have fallen ill overnight, but the changes are seldom radical enough to cause panic.
On the other hand, one simply must acknowledge the fact that anthropomorphic representations of nations are not normal, consequently, abnormal happenings will befall them. Thus, an incident that is deemed an unusual experience for a human, might be more common, or statistically more likely to happen in the averagely longer lifespan of a nation. Still, this situation, even considering the finer details of statistics and whatever other nonsense and humbug humans comes up with, must surely be abnormal.
Generally, nations and humans alike, expect to wake up with the same body they went to sleep in. Now, there are people who chooses to change their physical body to better suit their minds, but in those cases, they are aware of it and it is a process, which normalises the situation. Going to sleep with something between one's legs, and waking up with two somethings on one's chest instead, is not normal.
Having worked through that line of reasoning, Norway looked down his chest again. The lumps were still there, as was the conspicuous lack of something between his legs. There was only one appropriate response to this kind of situation. Norway went to refill his cup, deciding that thinking of something else might make the … condition… go away.
Three cups later the coffee pot was empty, and his little problem was still not gone.
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Author's note:
I've got a new story up, obviously. This is supposed to be a story with several chapters, none of which will be one-shots. This is a first for me, and we'll see how it goes. I do have a plot, but I would like to ask for your input. Who do you think would be the first to notice that Norway is a girl? It could be anyone, but probably someone from Northern Europe or North America, use your imagination and tell me please?
Please follow and review.
På gjensyn,
Shrizyne
