I don't even know why I decided to write this. I have school tomorrow and I should probably sleeping NOW, but I can't. :(

This is my first fic that is in first person, and it's weird, because...

...um, you'll see.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TOTAL DRAMA.


Alejandro Burromuerto was definitely something special.

And yes, I'll admit, I have been in love with him for quite a while. And when, I say in love, I don't mean that it was love at first sight or whatever, because, well...I don't really think that that is how love works.

Call me cheesy, but I believe that love has to grow.

The first time my gaze landed on him, it was on a video in the Aftermath studio. I watched him captivate the female contestants, win challenge after challenge, and (of course) flash his charming smile at the camera. Since I saw him on a video, it's kind of like a celebrity crush, like the way a bunch of guys would react to seeing Britney Spears strip down to a skimpy bikini, or the way most fangirls felt when they saw Duncan on TV, acting all 'really sexy bad boy' and 'hey, look at me, I'm gonna punch your lights out'. (No idea why most of the female viewers of the show find him attractive, though.)

Anyway, I guess my first impression was that Alejandro was attractive. You'd be pretty blind NOT to see it; the way his bronzed chest shows slightly from under his shirt, the way his emerald eyes sparkle with a mixture of amusement and malice, the way his hair seemed soft to the touch and yet masculine...

Okay, maybe it WAS love at first sight after all. But cut me some slack. The dude was smoking hot.

Even Heather was smitten by him. HEATHER! As in, the really bitchy chick who never showed any signs of having a functional human heart...until, of course, she met that Latino god, who immediately became her greatest weakness, no matter how hard she resisted.

His power, his charisma, and basically everything about him made me weak in the knees. And I always hung out in the Aftermath studio doing all kinds of activities with the other cast members, hoping that one day, maybe he'll be eliminated and sit in the Peanut Gallery with the rest of us.

I know, I know, it's pretty low of me to say that, especially since I claimed to have fallen in love with him in the first place. But hey, the bad guy never wins, right? Look at all the past seasons. Heather was the main antagonist in the Island, Justin in the Action, and now, Alejandro.

The antagonist role suits him nicely, like a pair of pants that fits just right...although, I'm sure he'd look even better without pants—

AND NOW I SOUND LIKE A CREEPY STALKER. Great. Just for the record, I am nothing like Sierra. Sure, we both like a guy with a great passion, but I'm not as obsessive she is. I still have a life, no matter how premature—hell, even primitive it may seem to people.

Anyway, back to the original topic. I just hung out with everyone else, hoping that maybe he'll be eliminated one day, get interviewed by Bridgette and Geoff, and maybe, just maybe, strike up a conversation with yours truly.

But obviously, if you watched the third season, you will know that nothing like that ever happened. He was still strong in the competition, and with every passing video I watch, I desired him more. Like, a lot more. He wasn't only good-looking and fucking godlike, he was also as talented as a circus master, an acrobat, and a magician rolled into one, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

All those factors didn't affect myself alone. Courtney was crushing on him hard. So was Heather. And I couldn't help but feel a spark of jealousy as I watch him charm them, smile at them, kiss their hands with those tender lips...

Finally, the day of the finale came (or what most of us thought will be the finale, anyway). And finally, I saw HIM, and my heart suddenly stopped. I gotta say, he looked like the epitome of perfection, even with the troubled look he was sporting. He looked much better in person. The dimensions of his sculpted body were more evident, every perfect detail of his face was so clear. I pinched myself to make sure that I was seeing THE Alejandro Burromuerto in all his glory, and not just seeing him in some high quality TV.

It was him.

And I couldn't stop myself. I grabbed him and pressed my lips against his, savoring his taste, which was a lively flavor, making me want to devour him whole (not that I couldn't).

He pulled away immediately, a look of surprise gracing his handsome features for a moment. Then it was replaced with a disgusted look, as if I were the most repulsive creature in the planet.

Needless to say, my heart broke a little.

Okay, a lot.

But to my immense relief, the vehicle we were boarding suddenly surged, making him stumble backwards to the crate.

I should help him. I mean, it wasn't as if I couldn't escape the goddamned cage the locked me in. My fingers were pretty nimble, I could have just yanked the opened the door. (Seriously...they expect me to not know how to open a cage? Yeah, right. Playing the piano is definitely a primitive activity, right? The cage door wasn't even locked. Humans can be such idiots.)

Yes, I knew I should have just helped him, let him loose to get against Heather.

I definitely should, but I lost the heart to do anything anymore. Instead, I sat on the base of my cage, vapidly eyeing my humongous fingers, attached to hairy arms, like how people would expect a primitive organism, a wild animal, such as myself, to act.

It wasn't like it would work out anyway.

Alejandro is the king of this game, the object of all the women's affections, the lover everybody wants for themselves.

And me? I'm just a lowly Sasquatchanakwa.

Nobody important. And certainly not someone who is good enough for Alejandro Burromuerto.


Um...I should probably explain, since everyone's minds must be going 'wtf' right now. Let's see, I just made up an entire story just because I was watching Planes, Trains, and Hot Air Mobiles, an episode of TDWT, and I came across the scene where Alejandro was kissed by Sasquatchanakwa. Obviously, I don't ship this, and this is just for kicks (and the fact that I am bored out of my skull). Also, I know Alejandro encountered Sasquatchanakwa in Can't Help Falling in Louvre, but it's kind of a dead giveaway if I mention that, so for the sake of the fic, just pretend that it didn't happen. No flames please, but if you MUST, then go ahead. Everyone else, please review! :)