"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Taylor asked as she walked into Jude's tiny apartment, a large pizza box held tightly within her grip. Jude turned his head from his comfortable seat on the couch, covered in a thick woolen blanket with a bag of chips laying sloppily over him.
"Eating and enjoying a wonderful episode of Grey's Anatomy," Jude retorted, turning his attention back towards the TV. "Is that a crime now?" Taylor rolled her eyes as she placed the pizza box on the counter in the kitchen, which was open to the living room. Basically everything in Jude's apartment was open other than his bedroom and the bathroom.
Taylor begins walking over to him, a pepperoni pizza overlapping the small plate she had put it on. "Why the hell did I give you a key?" Jude jokes, making room for her on the couch. "All you do is make me have to clean more dishes."
"So is that why you and Josh broke up?" Taylor blurted out without reluctance, watching as Jude's gaze turned cold and his shoulders became stiff. "Couldn't handle all the dishes." Jude closed his eyes out of annoyance for a few seconds before he turned his head back to stare at Taylor.
"You know why Josh and I broke up, Taylor," Jude stated, his gaze cold upon her stern one. "Yeah. Cause he just couldn't keep it in his pants around other dudes." Jude let out an exasperated sigh.
"Anyway, the reason I came here is because of your sister's wedding," Taylor concluded. Jude's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What about it?" Taylor released a smirk.
"Josh is gonna be there," Taylor reminded. "His brother's the best man, so he has to be, right? And, Daria told me that his date works with her." Jude felt his face heat up in sudden anger.
"It's been two weeks since we broke up and he already, has another date?" Jude shrieked, throwing his hands up in the air. "Is this a damn joke?!" Taylor shrugged, her smirk still upon her face.
"It gets worse," she warns, and watches as Jude takes in a sigh, bracing himself for whatever was next to come. "He's really hot, too." Jude feels himself fall back onto the armrest of the couch, almost in defeat as he released the sigh he held back.
"Of course he is," Jude laughs bitterly under his breath. "Hot people date hot people. That's just how it is." Taylor places a hand on his tense shoulder, her smile growing wider.
"I get it. It sucks. But you can't just mope around. You need to do better than him," Taylor reminded. "You need to get a date who's hotter, and sexier. But most of all, you need to prove him you could live your life just fine without him."
Jude released another sigh. He doubted whether or not that last part would ever be accomplishable. Josh was his other half. He kept him grounded, and made him feel as though he could do everything. Without him, his life felt so wrong and disoriented. They had been together since tenth grade, and he'd never thought it would've ended the way it did.
The night he waked in on him and that other guy, he felt his heart fall into his chest like he were jumping off a cliff. And then, he could swear when Josh finally acknowledged his presence, he heard it shatter into millions of pieces. And even if Jude tried to glue the pieces back together one by one, they'd never fit together like they had before. He was missing a piece of his heart. He was missing Josh.
"I doubt that's even going to be possible, Taylor," Jude admit, laying his head crookedly on the armrest of the couch, his legs hanging awkwardly off the couch. "Besides, who can I call as my date?"
And almost as though it were on cue, he heard a key open his house door, and a familiar figure stepped out of it, his hair falling carelessly above his left eye and his flannel crooked over his jeans.
"Hey. What's up Taylor, what'd you need me for?"
Taylor didn't have to say anything at all. Jude already knew who Taylor wanted Jude's date for Callie's wedding to be.
Connor.
Jude sat in his grey mini-cooper, waiting outside of Connor's apartment impatiently. He glanced in the rear view mirror, instinctively throwing a hand up to his hair to rearrange it. His hands then moved to his collar as he straightened it, as well as his posture.
He then moved closer to the tiny mirror and widened his lips open, moving his head slightly from side to side, checking if there were any pieces of food stuck between his teeth.
"Jude?" Jude jumped in shock, his features raising. His eyes darted to Connor, and suddenly felt his eyebrows raise even higher at the sight. His hair was gelled up, he wore a black suit which complimented every aspect of his body. Jude immediately felt his self-confidence drop as he stared at his friend who entered his mini-cooper, banging his head upon the short ceiling of the car.
"Damn it!" Connor exclaims, his eyes cricking at the corners as he scrunches up his face in pain. "Why the hell do you have this short ass car when you're so damn tall?" Jude shrugs, turning on the engine.
"It belonged to Josh and me," Jude commented, feeling his heart throb slightly at the mention of his name. "We got it together last year for Christmas. It was a really great time." He feels his lips tug up at the joyful memory.
"Oh right," Connor spat, crossing his arms over his chest as he sank deeper into the seat of the car. "You let your little, midget ex-boyfriend choose the car."
"Josh was not a midget, Connor," Jude addressed, stopping at a red light, turning his attention fully to him. "He just wasn't very tall." Connor rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in the air.
"He could've played a dwarf in the real-life version of snow white!" Connor exclaimed. "He could've been the fuckboy of the dwarfs." Jude just let out an exasperated sigh.
"You always hated him," Jude realized, placing his foot on the gas pedal, yet still glanced towards Connor ever now and then. "And he simply nothing but nice to you. I'll never understand that."
"I just always knew he was a jerk," Connor admit. It wasn't completely a lie, he always felt like Josh was a narcissist who thought put himself before anyone in any situation, even when Jude needed him most. He was the kind of person who always got what he wanted, and wasn't grateful for it.
From the second Connor met him, he saw it. And he couldn't care less about him. He just didn't want Josh to end up hurting Jude and not appreciating him. Because he wanted Jude, and he got him, and Connor wished so hard that he would be grateful for having him. Everyone should be. Jude deserved that.
"And I was right," Connor continued, poking Jude's arm lightly, causing him to flinch and for his lips to tug up for the quickest second before falling back down into the straight line they had been in for most of the ride. "I told you to your face. I said, 'Jude Adams Foster, he, my dear best friend, is a fuckboy.'"
Jude forced himself to roll his eyes and hide the smile that tempted to reach his lips once more as Connor kept speaking. "And you were all like 'oh no, he's so sweet and cute and nice and kind and amazing', and blah blah blah. But I warned you again, and I told you that I wouldn't let you cry on my shoulder if he broke your heart. But guess what ended up happening?"
"Connor, please don't continue," Jude begged, sounding almost as though he were joking, yet his heart burned at the memory and his eyes began to fill with unshed tears which threatened to spill over.
"I ended up coming to you place and you ended up crying in my shoulder," Connor chided, completely unaware of the lone tear that fell upon Jude's left cheek as he gazed out the window. "Just like I had said. Next time, you better listen to me. I know what's best for you, Jude, I really do."
"So I should trust a twenty-one year old who doesn't have the guts to come out of the closet with my dating life when he can't even find a happiness and comfort within his own?" Jude spat without thought.
Jude still remembers that night in the tent on their seventh grade trip. They spoke all night, speaking about things that didn't really matter much, but felt like the most important things in the world back then. Things like silly sports, and first kisses.
"Every time I've kissed a girl," Connor began, tucking himself out of the bedsheets, finding himself moving closer to where Jude lay a few inches away. "It felt like it didn't matter. It felt like it was what I was supposed to be doing, but not what I wanted to be doing."
Jude turned his head on the left, finding Connor's piercing eyes staring at him, their noses almost brushing. "What did you want to be doing?" Jude whispered the words softly, goosebumps covering Connor's skin like a blanket.
"I didn't really know," Connor admit, moving closer, their noses touching. "But I think I do now." Jude closed his eyes before it happened, leaning in without thought, softly pressing his lips onto Connor's.
Jude thought his first kiss would be awkward, and sloppy and almost misplaced. But it was as though he were in a movie. He can still feel Connor's lips lingering against his at the thought of it. And weeks, months and years later, they've never spoken about it.
Connor's been with lots of girls, and Jude has been with only two boys. One from high school, the other was Josh. There were no similarities between them other than their sexuality. Jude knew Connor was gay. He didn't have to say anything for him to know. Jude knew Connor for so long, and even if they hadn't kissed hat night he would've know.
It was the small things. The way he would try to discretely look at boys when they were out. The way he'd share glances with the good looking male waiter at the restaurant when he wouldn't for the female ones. The way he tried too hard to make himself be something he wasn't.
Connor was Jude's best friend, and Jude could see through him better than anyone else could. He never wanted to force anything out of Connor, but the words slipped so quickly out of his mouth, and there was no way to take them back.
"Look," Jude began, forcing himself out of his chain of thought. "I don't even understand why you agreed to do this. I could've found someone else to be my fake boyfriend."
"No," Connor clarified, clearing his throat and trying to block Jude's previous words out of his head. Connor always tried to run and hide from the truth. But there was no winning at a game of hide and seek against yourself and your thoughts.
"No," Connor repeated once more with much more fierceness as Jude parked outside of the golf club where Callie and her long-time boyfriend, Aaron, were getting married.
Jude turned his head to look to Connor, his eyes as piercing as the night in the tent. "If anyone gets to be your fake boyfriend at your sister's wedding to impress your ex-fuckboy boyfriend, it's me. Got it?"
Jude felt a smile creep along his lips, not daring to stop it this time. "Got it," Jude promised nodding his head lightly. "Let's get going then." Jude and Connor shared another smile before getting out of the car.
As they began to walk towards the entrance of the golf club Robert owned, Connor reached out to lace his clammy hand into Jude's warm one. Jude darted his gaze to Connor.
"You know that there's no one we know out here yet, right?" Jude asked, slightly shocked at the spontaneous and straight forward move Connor had made.
"I know," Connor smiled, squeezing Jude's hand tightly.
And as they walked out back where the ceremony would be held, Jude squeezed back just as tightly.
Please proceed to your left for the wedding of the lovely Callie Adams Foster and Aaron Daring.
Jude's hand was still gripped tightly within Connor's as he read the poster written in delicate hand writing. Jude assumed it was Aaron's sister who wrote it, a talented artist and one of the only people Jude could seem to talk to without having to force himself to find words which hide in the back of his mind.
Despite the clamminess of their intertwined fingers, Connor didn't even bother letting go to wipe them upon his pants before entering the outside of the golf club, knowing that even such a small gesture like holding his hand could comfort him the most.
And honestly, Connor did not want to let go at all in the first place. Jude's soft hands felt no different than when he had held it years ago in the darkness of the tent, the only light he remembers being the piercing brown of Jude's chocolate eyes.
And although he tried his hardest to push it past him, Jude felt it too. Connor's grip was just as tight yet passionate, and he wondered if his lips still held the same passion which Jude can sometimes still feel linger upon his lips whenever he sees him. He wonders if Connor thinks as much about that night in the tent as he does.
Arriving by the doors which open to the ceremony, Jude pauses, his heart beating much too quickly in his chest, butterflies wounding their way into his tight stomach. His grip immediately tightens on Connor's and he feels his best friend's other hand find their way to his upper arm, lightly stroking it. Suddenly, Jude feels his heart begin to swell for a far more different reason.
"Hey," Connor whispers tenderly, as though trying to comfort a small child. "You'll be fine, you're stronger than your stupid heartbreak over that dumbass midget, alright?" Jude feels his lips tug up for half a second before regaining his composure as he sucks in a breath and opens the heavy doors leading to the beautiful outdoor of the club.
Instinctively, the pair squint at the bright light coming from the blue, cloudless sky. And although the sun is quite blinding, what they can manage to see is quite beautiful. Chairs and benches and people are all spread over the landscape of mowed green grass, as bright and blinding as the sun.
At the end of the white carpet, surrounded by aligned chairs on either side, is a beautiful arch covered in all sorts of flowers and leaves. Blue's, violets, reds and whites being the most vibrant colors in sight.
"Damn," Connor muttered, leaning over to Jude, his warm breath sending tingles through his body. "They've really turned this place into a beautiful reception. I was expecting something nice coming from Robert, but this is just ridiculous." Jude shrugs, only half paying attention to his date, his attention truly dedicated to his eyes which dart through the crowd. Connor, noticing what he's doing, lets out an exasperated sigh.
"You know, you'll never be able to find him in this crowd," Connor teased, a smirk evident upon his feature's without him instructing there to be one. "He's too short." Although he knew it was coming, Connor internally flinched when Jude handed him the dirty look he managed to loathe and adore all at once.
"He wasn't that short." Jude sounded as though he were protecting him, even after all Josh has done, he still managed to try and protect him. Connor hated how Josh had managed to sweep Jude off his feet so highly he could not come down. Connor almost felt as though he needed the tallest ladder in the world the rescue him from the clouds.
"Whatever you say," Connor smiled genuinely this time, a real toothy grin which held a depth even Jude couldn't reach out to. He looked down at their hands, still tightly wounded together. Connor watched as Jude's eyes trailed down upon their fingers as well, a small smile threating to escape from his lips as well.
Connor watched as Jude's features softened when he smiled, lighting every aspect of himself. Connor couldn't help but be in awe about how beautiful he was. He wonders how he kept himself from the boy all these past years, how the tension could not have pulled him in sooner. How high were the walls Connor built to protect himself from something he knew he never could? How bulletproof were the bricks he built the wall with? How had Jude still managed to tear them down to shreds, even when he thought that nothing ever could?
Connor still keeps his gaze locked upon Jude, even when he looks up to him, his eyes still piercing, and his hands still soft. He was certain his lips were still as soft. He wanted to figure out.
"Jude?" A well-grounded voice echoes into Connor's ears, his head snapping from his tight gaze on Jude's face to the figure who stood before him. He knew who the face belonged to. He knew it too well to forget. It was the face which caused Jude too much pain. It's the face who still causes Jude too much pain.
"Josh," Jude croaks, his eyes locked within Josh's dull green eyes. Jude's heart begins to swell again, so delicate he fears that another word Josh if another word would utter out of his lips, the lips he knew so well, that it'd break.
"Jude, wow!" He chuckled, his feature's scrunching together on his face. Connor looks down upon him, disgusted at how easily he could play with Jude's feelings. He knew that just those words sent an array of memories freshly into Jude's head. His head snaps away from Jude, turning to land upon Connor, and then, their intertwined fingers.
He sees his face twist in confusion, and Connor tries his hardest to hold back a smirk of intimidation. "Oh," Josh said awkwardly. "You two are⦠a couple?" His thick eyebrows darted up, almost winding together as the furrowed in confusion.
Before Jude could answer, Connor unraveled their fingers and backed up a little, throwing his hands around Jude's waist from the back, gently placing his chin upon Jude's right shoulder.
Jude felt Connor's soft hairs tickle his neck, his warm breath sending electric shocks throughout his body. He was the best distraction yet, even when it came to Josh. All he could think about was pressing his lips against Connor's instead of pressing them against Josh's. For the first time ever since the breakup, Jude could feel as though his heart no longer belonged to Josh's hands, bloody which where he held his shredded heart.
Connor instinctively pressed his lips tightly softly against Jude's neck twice, trailing upwards. Jude felt his entire body turn soft at the lips which he never realized he wanted so badly until this day. Perhaps he knew all along, but he was too strung over by someone who never truly loved. How had it been hidden for so long? How had he not noticed how much his seventh grade crush on Connor had really never left, but evolved into something much stronger?
Suddenly, another man pops up behind Josh throwing an arm around his shoulders. His skin was dark, and his eyes were a strong brown. "Josh," the boy began, handing him a warm smile. "Who's this?" Josh turned his attention to the much taller boy, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Oh, right," Josh said blankly, almost as though he were just waking from a confusing dream. "Matias, this is Jude and," he paused, uncertain. He certainly knew who Connor was. But Josh didn't know about the tent kiss, and the true facts about Connor's hidden sexuality. To Josh, Connor was simply Jude's best friend who was as normal and kind as any best friend would be. He would've never assumed anything would've been going on between the two. Connor had always been with girls in his mind.
"My boyfriend," Jude assured, twining his hands around Connor's which still held firmly around his waist. He planted a soft kiss on his temple, his chin heavy on his right shoulder. But Jude could let him leave it there for all eternity if he wanted to. Connor closed his eyes as Jude kissed his temple, the tent scene flying back into his mind for the hundredth time this day.
"His boyfriend," Josh continued, reluctant as he spoke the words. "His boyfriend Connor. And by the way, this is my boyfriend, Matias." Matias nodded politely their way.
Suddenly Jude felt a pang in his chest. Nothing close to jealousy, but everything close to anxiety. Matias looked like a kind, big-hearted guy. He could only imagine the kinds of things Josh might be doing behind his back. "Nice to meet you," Matias acknowledged genuinely.
"You too," both Jude and Connor said in synchronization. After what felt like moments of staring, Josh opened his mouth once more, still seeming caught in the net of disbelief. "Well, um, I guess I'll be going now. See you around boys." Without another word he grasped onto Matias' hand and practically jogged out of sight, Matias not having to time to wish them a good day like he planned to.
Watching the two trail away, Connor and Jude shared a look and then burst out into laughter. Their warm chuckles filling one another's ears like the sound of the most beautiful music they'd ever heard.
Their eyes on one another as they laughed, their warm smile only directed for each other. Connor was standing in front of Jude now, grasping his arm tightly as he led him back inside, still laughing as he dragged him into a corner where the only people in sight were each other.
Their laughs died down as they both noticed that the warmth in each other's eyes was turning into something much deeper, and their lips were only left tugging up lightly at the corners. Connor placed his forehead onto Jude's, and Jude pressed his forehead back, balancing each other out.
"Fucking shit," Connor muttered in the softest way he could. "I think I love you. Like, I really, really love you. So much. Too much. I think it was so obvious that I didn't even notice. It was so big that I had to back up to see what it really was." He could feel Jude smile against him.
"Well I guess we're both fucked then," Jude whispered back. "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out. We wasted so much time." Jude's breath lingered on Connor's lips as he spoke.
"Let's not waste any more then," Connor stated, his hand on the back of Jude's neck, Jude's fingers already wounding their way into his hair. "I don't think I can anymore."
And with what felt like all the relief in the world, their lips found each other for the second time in their lives. The softness and roughness being mixed all together, years of confusion and obvious oblivion wounding its way into the kiss, making each movement more precious and passionate. Jude felt his heart relax, mending back together fully, and Connor felt every fear in the world strip away from him.
And now, finally, it felt like everything in the world had turned good in that very moment, and that it would stay that way forever.
Hope you all enjoyed! Tell me what you think of this one-shot!
