Heart on My Sleeve

By: Riley

Summary – "Wearing your heart on your sleeve means that your feelings are there for everyone to see. It's not a bad thing at all, it just means that you don't hide what you feel and your emotions are easy to read." Kendall decides to do something that not many people expect him to when his emotions get the better of him. Kendall/OC friendship.


Kendall Knight sat down on the player's bench as he looked out across the ice of the Staples Center's hockey rink.

His blonde hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, his cheeks and nose were rosy, and sweat was dripping down his face into the collar of the t-shirt that he was wearing under his hockey jersey. Beside him, his phone buzzed with a text. He briefly glanced at the screen, already knowing who it was, but checking just in case.

It was Katie, his little sister.

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her; it was that he didn't want to get into another fight with her. They hardly fought as it was, so when he snapped at her and stormed off, he knew that he couldn't go back for a while, not without feeling guilty. That's what found him at the hockey rink that day, usually he only went to clear his head, this time, he was trying to get his anger and frustration out before he went back home and apologized to his sister.

"What's wrong, Kendall?" Katie had asked when Kendall walked out into the main area of their crib in the PalmWoods apartments.

Kendall had just recently gotten the news from his teacher, Miss. Collins, that he had actually failed the history test they had taken last week. He felt that he had done well, and studied hard for it. On top of that, Gustavo had called and left him a particularly nasty message about how he and the guys needed to get to the studio earlier so they could actually get some work done and at least try to improve.

That was Gustavo's words, not his.

He was annoyed as it was, it was like he couldn't do anything right. So he didn't mean anything by it when he snapped at Katie. "Nothing! Nothing's, wrong!"

"Yes, there is." Katie put her laptop aside and got to her knees, resting her arms on the back of the couch. She turned her hazel eyes to her brother and looked at him seriously. "I can tell, I can see it in your face." Kendall sucked in a breath through his nose, staying silent. "I can always see it in your face. You've been like that…since Dad left…"

"What are you talking about?" Kendall whipped his head to face her.

Katie took a deep breath; she could tell that Kendall was getting angrier. His fingers twitched at his sides and he was breathing deeply through his nose. If anyone ever said that Kendall was good at keeping his cool, they obviously hadn't seen him for what he really was. He was pretty good at hiding things that were bothering him, so he could focus on helping someone else, but whenever he was feeling emotional or vulnerable, or was frustrated, he couldn't hide it from anyone. He prided himself on being level-headed, but he had a tendency to fly off the handle at points as well.

"I'm…just saying that since Dad left, you seem to get angry pretty easily, especially if someone…is giving your friends a hard time." Katie swallowed thickly. "Like, that time that you beat up that guy because he was making fun of Carlos for being so sensitive."

Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"And the time that you threatened to beat up a guy that was bullying Logan. No one wanted to mess with you after that. They're also afraid of giving you bad news, because they can always see in your face that you're upset and they don't want-"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Katie." Kendall interrupted. He went over to the closet and jerked the door open so hard that it flew into the wall behind it and smacked a small hole where the doorknob was. He ignored it as he started to look for his hockey gear.

"Wearing your heart on your sleeve means that your feelings are there for everyone to see." Katie said quickly, watching as he struggled to pull his hockey stick out of the closet as it got tangled up with some hangers. "It's not a bad thing at all, Big Bro. It just means that you don't hide what you feel and your emotions are easy to read." She started to get off of the couch. "I just want to know what's wrong. I thought that we told each other everything and-"

"Just leave me alone, Katie! God!" Kendall slammed the closet door shut and stormed out of the apartment, his hockey bag over his shoulder with his ice skates and his hockey stick in one hand.

He slammed that door behind him as well.

Kendall sighed as he leaned forward and rested his face in his hands. He didn't mean to yell at her like that. It was over something really stupid too, she just wanted to know if he was ok, and he just took his frustration out on her. He probably made her cry. That thought completely ripped his heart out. The last time he had seen her cry was when their Dad left. He hadn't seen her cry since, and the idea that he was the one that did it made him hate himself even more. He wanted to go back and apologize, but he wasn't sure if she would accept it. He didn't know why he got so mad over what she was saying, he had been told many times by James, Logan, Carlos, even his own mother, that they could always read his emotions, because he was that kind of person. He was always open with whatever he was thinking, so it was just natural that his face and body language would be open about his emotions as well.

It just wasn't the "manly thing" to do as he understood it. Men were supposed to be the kind of guys that would surprise you with their strength and what they were feeling. They weren't ever supposed to talk about it or show it. That's one of the selling pints of hockey was to him, he was able to get his anger out, to clear his head, and he got away with hitting other people while he was at it.

"I knew I'd find you here, Hockey-Head."

Kendall didn't turn as Riley Jackson-McGuire sat down on the hockey bench next to him, straddling it as she faced him. "Did Katie tell you that I was here?" He asked quietly, wiping sweat off of his forehead and rubbing them on the legs of his jeans.

"Hello?" Riley reached out and lightly knocked her knuckles on the side of Kendall's head. "How many times do I have to tell you this before you actually hear me?" She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. "You're way too predictable."

Kendall shook his head, resting his arms on his legs as he hunched forward, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"Uh-oh," Riley sat up straight, her arms still crossed over her chest. "Something's definitely up, you're never really in the mood for me to make fun of you, but you've never actually said it to me before." She tapped her chin. "I'm guessing you got into a fight with Katie?" Kendall looked at her in astonishment and she shrugged modestly. "I just put two and two together after you looked so bummed and you asked if Katie told me that you were here." She looked at him curiously. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Kendall started to take off his gloves. "It's stupid anyway."

Riley respected his answer and waited as he slowly continued to take off his gear. He pulled off his hockey jersey and started to pull off the padding that was underneath. His mind was wandering as he thought about that phrase. Wearing his heart on his sleeve… Like Katie said, it wasn't a bad thing and he had been told numerous times that he did it. Maybe I should just embrace it as someone that I am. It's not like I should be ashamed of it. Then people wouldn't know to leave me alone if I'm ever in a bad mood. Kendall chuckled a little as his lips curled into an amused half smile. Carlos would know when to stop bugging me, that's for sure.

"I should get a tattoo." Kendall murmured to himself. He wasn't being serious in the slightest; he was reminded of something that his mother said once. He was young and angry at her because she said that he couldn't stay up to watch a game on ESPN. She had made the comment saying that he should just tattoo the words I'm Angry on his forehead, because he was trying so hard to hide it.

"What?" Riley asked, leaning a bit closer to him, not sure if he had said something.

"I said I should get a tattoo." Kendall said louder. "Everyone says that I wear my heart on my sleeve, maybe I should just go ahead and get that." He stayed silent for a few moments and then looked over at Riley, who looked back at him with an odd look in her eyes. Kendall then looked down at his hockey gear and then lifted his head as he thought about it. "You know what, I really should. I should get a tattoo."

"You're going to get a tattoo?" Riley repeated. She looked a little impressed, just a tiny bit, but more curious than that. "You? Kendall Knight?"

"Yes," Kendall nodded firmly, his mind completely made up. "I'm going to get a tattoo." He started to stuff his things into his hockey bag. "I've always been interested in them, but was never sure what to get. Now I know."

"Don't you think that you should decide this when you're, I don't know, not PMSing?" Riley cracked. Kendall ignored her dig and continued to fill his bag before reaching for his skates. "Ok," Riley licked her lips, now completely unconvinced. "You do know that in California you have to be at least 18 to get a tattoo, right? Even then, you still need your parent's permission until you're a legal adult."

Kendall frowned for a moment. He hadn't thought about that. It only took him a moment to think if over before he shook his head. That didn't matter; he was going to do this. "I don't care; I'll find a way to get them to give me one without mom's permission. She'll be pissed," he said truthfully. "But I'm doing it anyway."

Riley was silent for a moment. "Well, it's a good thing you have me around then."

"Why?"

Riley wordlessly reached into her back pocket and pulled out her red and white, flower printed wallet. She opened it and flipped a few dollar bills out of the way and then pulled a folded up white sheet of paper out of the back. Sticking the paper in her mouth, she folded her wallet up and put it back into her pocket. Kendall watched as she took the paper out of her mouth and unfolded it before turning it around and handing it to him.

Kendall scanned it quickly, looking over the names and signatures that were written all over the page. He lifted his eyes to meet hers and she sighed again, knowing that he didn't understand what they were for.

"I forged your mom's signature," she explained. "We needed it in case we had to go to the doctor, they caught on quickly that we were forging Ronan's signature. And since we were working with you we figured that it would fit." she trailed off as she took the paper back from him.

Kendall nodded, shocked into silence.

"If you really want to get that tattoo, I could…"

Kendall couldn't help but laugh incredulously. "You're willing to help me lie just so I can get a tattoo?"

Riley shrugged. "If it's what you really want, then I don't see why you shouldn't get it." Her eyes flashed with mischief. "Besides, I thought you were supposed to be the bad boy."

Kendall's lips curved into a smirk as well. "Who said I wasn't?" He asked with a false bravado. Riley leaned forward and grabbed his Vans from his bag and handed them to him as he got his skates off of his feet. He took them and quickly pulled them on, not bothering to tighten them before he stood up, grabbing his bag and stick. "Come on."

"Do you know what tattoo parlor you're going to go to, Eyebrows?" Riley asked as she stood up. Kendall noticed that her nose was red and briefly wondered why she wasn't complaining about the cold like she usually did.

"No." Kendall started to climb up the bleachers to leave the rink.

"Do you know what colors you want?"

"No."

"Do you know how you're going to hide it from your family until it heals?'

"No."

Riley hurried after him and grabbed onto his arm. "Maybe we should talk about this first." She peered at him as she thought for a minute. "Did you walk here?"

"I took the bus." Kendall said.

"Ok, then after we talk, to be sure that this is what you really want, then I'll drive you over to the parlor myself. Deal?" She stuck out her hand.

Kendall grinned and grabbed onto it. "Deal."


"Could we get two virgin Fuzzy Navels? Thanks." Riley asked the waiter that stood over her and Kendall, snatching the menu from Kendall's hand. She passed it over to the waiter before reaching into her pocket to place a few dollar bills on the table. "I never understood why Americans like to pay tips." She muttered under her breath.

After ignoring Kendall's constant 'thank you's' of her offering to drive him, she decided to stop at a small restaurant before they went to the tattoo parlor. There were a lot of things that he needed to know about getting a tattoo; most of it had to do with his public image as well as to how fans were going to respond to it. If he and the other boys lost fans over something as stupid as they cutting their hair, then he could lose fans over getting a tattoo. And then there was going to be the backlash from the parents and everything…

"They don't do that in Australia?" Kendall asked as he leaned back in his seat in defeat. He wasn't going to get that menu back; he noted as he watched the waiter walk away.

"No," Riley shook her head. "You get paid by the hour or whatever your wages are, and you just give friendly service with a smile. We don't tip. Never really saw the point." She leaned back in her seat, brushing her hair out of her face. "Now, why do you want to get a tattoo?"

"How come I can't get something to eat?" Kendall asked, his stomach growling as he waited a waitress walk by, carrying two plates of steak.

"If you really want to get a tattoo, I don't want your nerves to get the better of you." Riley said calmly as she crossed her legs. "Full stomach plus nerves don't equal a very great tattooing experience." The corner of her mouth twitched up. "I know that from experience."

"Good to know," Kendall stretched his legs out underneath the table, resting his hands on his stomach. "What made you get a tattoo?"

"Two reasons," Riley held her right hand up in the peace sign. "One, because I love tattoos, and two, because it pissed off my dad." She said, speaking of her then foster father, Robert Jackson. She paused. "I guess I like the idea of the permanence of tattoos. A tattoo is something that nobody could ever take from you, that you would have with you wherever you went, that you would have until the day you died. They were eternally yours."

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, I guess I understand that." He shrugged. "It goes with your image as well." Riley gave a short salute, letting him know that he was partially right. With her and her siblings' (Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney) band, the DarkElements, being in the rock genre of music (alternative, heavy metal, scream, hard, pop, punk, etc.) he wasn't that surprised when he first met them to know that they had tattoos. All five of them had barbed wire tattooed around their right ankle, he was impressed when he first saw them, but was even more impressed when he found out that they had more of them. "How many do you have now?" He asked.

"Barbed wire on my foot, a nautical star on my hip, a fireball on my right shoulder, and a black dragon under that." She said. "Right after we got our first tattoos together, the first thing that we did when we got home was look at them in the mirror. After that, we got pretty hooked and got some more." She squinted an eye shut as she thought for a moment. "Though, I think, so far, I have the most."

"You like tattoos that much, huh?" Kendall laughed.

"Oh yeah," Riley agreed with the same joking tone. "Tattoos are a real turn on for me." She smiled and thanked the waiter as he came back with their drinks and quickly took a sip. She swallowed and then looked at him seriously. "Alright, why do you really want to get a tattoo?"

Kendall took a sip of his Fuzzy Naval and thought about it as he allowed the slush-liquid mixture to melt on his tongue. He swallowed it and continued to stay silent as he thought about it. There were a lot of reasons why, what would be the best answer for that question?

"'Cause, frankly, I think that this is a really stupid idea." Riley continued, breaking him out his thoughts. "But you can be a boofhead, so I don't really see how I'm surprised by that."

Well, that was a complete 180. Kendall rolled his eyes. "Don't hold back, Riles, tell me how you really feel."

"Only because I don't think that you've thought through what the repercussions are going to be." Riley continued helpfully. "I mean, we already established your mom is going to be pissed. My brothers and sister will love it, I can tell you that much. James might be jealous because he didn't get it first, and I think Logan will worry. Carlos won't really care. But your main problem, Kendall, is Gustavo and Kelly as well as your fans." She shook her head. "Though it's part of our image, we got a lot of backlash when we got our tattoos. People said that we were sinners, we were going to hell, that we were setting a bad example. It'll be worse since you're a Popstar and you're supposed to have this squeaky clean image."

"That's a load of bullshit," Kendall said seriously. "Besides, who cares what those people think? It's not their life, it's mine."

"Have you thought about infections?"

"I'm sure Logan will help make sure whatever body part I get tattooed doesn't fall off." Kendall said. He was a bit worried about it, though. He had seen a documentary on TV how someone had gotten a tattoo and it had gotten infected very fast. Granted, it was because the person got it from their friend in the basement when they were drunk. He knew that Logan would help him though, no matter how freaked he would be at first, Logan would make sure that Kendall was doing everything right to be sure that his tattoo healed properly.

Riley finished her drink and pushed the glass away from her. "Well, tattoos cost anywhere from fifty bucks on up, so if you need help paying for it, then I won't mind as long as you pay me back."

Kendall looked at her skeptically. "You're going to help me pay for it?"

Riley shrugged. "You said that you're serious about it. If you really are, then I have problem with it. Now," she leaned forward and held up her right hand, black studded wrist band shinning as she did so. "Are you sure that you're going to go through with this?"

Kendall thought about it once more, weighing the pros and cons in his head. He slowly smiled and then nodded as he sat up straight. "Yeah, I'm going to go through with it!"

"Awesome!" Riley cheered and gave him a high-five. "Let's go right now."


"So what are you looking at getting today?" The owner of Ink Sessions Tattoo asked as he stood behind the front desk of the parlor. "We have some openings today, so we can take you as a walk-in." He looked back and forth between Riley and Kendall. "Which one of you is getting it?"

"He is," Riley pushed Kendall forward. "He's getting his first tattoo today."

"A virgin, huh?" The owner grinned and held out his hand towards Kendall, his arm covered in intricate designs of tattoos. "That's cool; I don't have anyone that I'm working on anytime soon, so I'll take you myself. Name's Wes."

"Kendall." Kendall took his hand and shook it firmly. "Well, I had an idea of getting a tattoo of a heart on my sleeve, and I want it literally on my shoulder, where a shirt sleeve would be." He pointed to his left arm. "But I want it to be stitched up, not broken." He paused and looked over at Riley, who nodded back at him. "'Cause, I guess I was heartbroken when my Dad left me, my mom, and my sister, and with help from my friends, I'm getting better."

"That's awesome man," Wes said as he shook his head. "That's a really cool reason; he can't get to you or hurt you anymore. I know how you feel," he scratched his forehead. "My mom left us when I was young too, but I made peace with it." He smiled once more. "You have a pic for me?"

"Yep." Riley reached into her front pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Before leaving the restaurant, Riley got Kendall to describe the tattoo that he wanted and she quickly drew it out. Now she slapped it onto the counter. "Here you go, mate."

"That's really sick." Wes said as he looked it over. "Give me a few minutes to sketch it out and then we'll get started."

"Cool, thanks." Kendall nodded and backed away from the counter, looking over the tattoo shop as Riley went to sit down in one of the empty seats that were in the front.

Kendall walked along the walls of tattoos, looking at each of them for a few minutes before moving onto the next one. It was all so fascinating; he couldn't understand why so many people thought that tattoos were a bad thing. It was a different kind of art and it was always interesting to see how the tattoo artist put their own flair and art style into each tattoo that they made. After what seemed like forever Wes finally approached him, clapping him hard on the shoulder in his own excitement to be giving someone their first tattoo. "Ready?" he asks and at the younger boy's nod he gestures with his large hand. "Come on back."

Leading the way, Wes plopped into a nearby chair and reached into a cabinet. Pulling out a small clip board he handed it to Kendall, who was sitting in the other chair, Riley standing at his side. "You wanna read and sign that. And I need your ID." Kendall handed it over and watched yet again as the man left, then read and signed the contract, of which made him a bit more nervous than he had originally been. "Sorry, policy, ya know?" Kendall nodded, running his hands up and down his thighs. He licked his lips as he looked around. Buzzing filled his ears as the other tattoo artists worked on their clients. Like it was nothing.

"You're 18 right?" Wes asked as he looked up from the ID. "Do you have parental permission to do this?"

Kendall nodded once more and reached into his jeans pocket. With shaking hands, he pulled out the sheet of paper with his mother's forged signature on it and handed it over to Wes. Wes took it and looked it over for a few moments. Kendall was suddenly aware that his heart was thudding against his chest. Finally, Wes nodded and moved it aside, putting gloves on his hands. "So where do you want it? Left bicep, right?"

"Right." Kendall agreed.

"Thought so," Wes grinned, and then patted the tattoo table. "You wanna lie down?" Kendall looked, seeing the generously padded table and he did as he was told.

He watched as Wes took the nearly clear sheet, of which the ink version of the heart was on, and wet it. He paused a moment, waiting for Kendall to remove his left side from his shirt. Wes placed the sheet in the proper spot, wetting about it with a wet paper towel. After a moment he pulled the sheet off, "You want to go look at that real quick?"

Kendall walked over to one of the floor length mirrors, holding his shirt to the side so it didn't fall into the ink. Turning o to the side, he was surprised at how good it look. Walking back over to the table he asked, "What do you think?"

"Hot." Riley stated with a nod of her head and a smirk, so Kendall wasn't sure whether or not she was joking. "Really cool."

Kendall rolled his eyes before lying back down. He watched as the needle was hooked to another machine, "I'm just gonna do one line for now," Wes said as he dipped the tip into black ink. "Let you see just how it feels, okay? Then I'm just gonna go right through." Kendall closed his eyes, his heart speeding at the sound of the buzzing needle being so close to him. So very close tphim. About to permanently brand him for life.o He opened his eyes when he felt a shadow fall over him and noticed that Riley had moved closer and was standing next to him.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her blue eyes, the smirk still present on her face. "I won't think any less of you if you need it, Hockey-Head." She added.

"No," Kendall practically spat, his cheeks flushing red. But he nearly jumped as he felt the needle go into his soft skin. It hurt, no doubt about it, but it didn't hurt 'that' bad. He had heard from a lot of people that it hurt like crazy, and for others it'd didn't hurt in the slightest. It depended on the person's pain tolerance as well as where they got the tattoo. Kendall was relieved that it didn't hurt that badly, but it still made him uncomfortable. "Ok, yes!" He held his hand out and Riley placed her smaller one into his, holding onto it tightly.

Once Kendall relaxed; Wes began to speed right through it. His eyes intent upon his ink-art. Getting into his work he started to ask Kendall some questions, just to take his mind off of what was going on. "So," Wes said after a moment. "What color do you want this to be?"

"Red and Black are fine." Kendall replied. He missed Wes glance over at Riley before looking back down at his work, laughing to himself quietly. Kendall glanced down to see his unfinished tattoo, and then winced as he saw the needle go in and out of his skin. Instinctively, he squeezed tighter onto Riley's hand, but whether or not it hurt her, he didn't know, as she didn't say anything. Her eyes were trained on the tattoo that was being created before her eyes. Wes reached up with a paper towel and wiped away some blood and ink before he continued.

All was silent as Wes finished up the color and shading. Kendall closed his eyes as he felt the needle continue to move across his skin. He wasn't sure how long that he had his eyes closed, or how long he was at the shop before Wes had finished. It seemed to go by pretty quickly, but he knew that it had to have taken a bit to get his done.

"Go check it out." Wes said as he started to clean up his stuff. "What do you think?"

Kendall slowly got off of the table, noticing that his arm was hurting a little before walking over to the mirror, still holding onto Riley's hand. He let go and turned to the side so he could get a good look. His mouth dropped open and his green eyes widened. It was exactly what he wanted. The heart was big and took up most of his bicep, it was stitched down in the middle where it would be broken, and the needle was sitting off to the side, still attached to the heart by it's thread. The color was vibrant and the black border around the red made it all better. "It's amazing!" he said. "It's…wow…its better than I thought it was going to be." He grinned as he went back over to Wes.

Wes started to bandage up the tattoo, working carefully. "You need to keep this on the next three to four hours, when you take it off for the next two weeks or so you need to put some Neosporin or tattoo goo or Vitamin A and D gel on it twice a day. To keep it damp ya know, so it won't lose color and fade." He finished bandaging it and then leaned back in his chair. "When it starts to itch, and it will, because that's the dead skin coming off, don't scratch or you'll scare and pick out the color. After a month or so and you want to come back and get a touch up, it's free." He smiled Got it?"

Kendall nodded, paid Wes, and then left the tattoo parlor with the biggest smile on his face. "Wow," he said as he touched the bandage. "I can't believe I got it."

"Frankly, I can't believe you did either." Riley said as she walked next to him, digging her car keys out of her pocket. "But you're branded now, and let me tell you, that's not going to be your last one. Getting tattoos is definitely addicting." She couldn't hide the excited smile that crept up onto her face. "I can't wait until the others see it."

"Well, if I ever go to get another one, you have to come with me on that one," Kendall stopped walking, flipping his blonde hair out of his face. The light breeze blew it back, but he didn't mind. He stretched out his right pinkie finger and looked at her earnestly. "Deal?"

Riley snorted. "Don't you think that we're a bit old to be doing the whole 'pinkie-promise' thing?" She asked in a condescending tone.

"I'm on an adrenaline high after getting my first tattoo, excuse me." Kendall defended himself flippantly. "But you have to make the deal." He insisted. "The next one you get or the next one I get, we have to go with each other. Deal?" He asked again, extending his pinkie into her face, wiggling it around.

Riley shook her head. "You're a trip, Kendall Knight." She hooked her pinkie around his, flashing the dark red nail polish that she was wearing. "Deal."

Kendall couldn't help himself, he reached out and gave her a light hug, squeezing her tightly before letting go and slowly peeling off his bandage so he could look at the tattoo once more. "I seriously can't believe I got it." He turned his gaze to Riley. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I don't think I'd ever be able to get it without you coming with me."

"And that's why you like me so much," Riley said as she flipped her strand of red hair out of her eyes. She leaned forward and looked at the new ink on his bicep once more. She studied it for a moment before turning back to Kendall and smiling at him. "Because I keep your life interesting."

"You got that right."


A/N: I got this idea from a dream I had last night as well as from talking to someone on twitter about Kendall Schmidt having tattoos and Kendall Knight not having any. (IE how we were annoyed that Nickelodeon made Kendall hide them). Riley has a dragon tattooed on her arm, depending on the story. I hope you guys like it.

Cheers,

-Riles