Delusions and Fantasies

Summary: Gibbs is getting ready to head to Mexico after Hiatus, when an unexpected visitor stops by and tells him things he may not be ready to hear.

Rating: T, for strong language and implied sexual situations between two consenting adults.

Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo

Disclaimer: I wish I owned a lot of TV shows, but if I did, I'd be living in Hollywood, not Buffalo, and I sure as hell wouldn't be slinging tacos for a living.

Warning:This story is SLASH, which means a sexual relationship between two characters of the male gender, if you don't like that, then you really shouldn't be reading this. There's nothing too graphic, although the language is not suitable for young children!

Author's Note: Ok, This is my first NCIS fic, but this popped into my head, and I just had to write it. I got this idea when I was at work last night, and it's like the only thing that I've written in a really long time, so I think I deserve a few brownie points for that. Also, in my opinion, it's a little sad. Nto sad enough to make you cry, but still pretty darn depressing, so if you like happy endings, just know that this not the story for you!


Gibbs almost had everything packed. All the things he would need in Mexico were safely stuffed away in his suitcases. So far, his only problem was what to do with everything else. Should he put it in storage, or just leave it as is? If he left it, did that mean he planned on coming back? Did he even want to come back?

The knock at the door broke him out of his reverie. He ran a hand through his graying hair before opening it.

Tony stood there, looking incredibly angry. But he wasn't talking. The two men stood there for quite a while, just staring at each other. Tony's anger never faded, but Gibbs' patience did. "You need something, DiNozzo?"

"You don't remember, do you?" Gibbs rolled his eyes and walked away.

"I'm leaving you in charge of the team. What more could you want?" He turned back around to see Tony practically on top of him. The younger man grabbed his face and pulled him forward till their lips smashed together.

Gibbs was shocked to say the least. But fortunately it only lasted a moment. He pushed Tony away and punched him across the face. Tony stumbled a little from the power of the blow, before coming back and punching Gibbs right back.

Considering he still had a pretty bad head injury, it was a miracle Gibbs didn't fall over. He did, however, slam into the wall. White spots popped in front of his eyes as his head screamed at him in agony. He shook his head a few times to clear it. "Nice punch."

"You said you remembered." Gibbs shook his head again, only this time in confusion.

"I do."

"Apparently not!" The older man looked at Tony again. Hidden underneath the anger was something else. Desperation. "You don't remember me."

"You're Tony DiNozzo, my senior field agent—"

"I'm your boyfriend!"

Silence.

Gibbs blinked, but otherwise didn't do anything. What could he do? Finally, after what felt like a half an hour, he spoke. "What?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "After Kate died, you remember her, don't you?" Gibbs glared at him, Tony didn't seem fazed. "After the funeral, you and I went and got drunk together. One thing led to another and…" He trailed off, expecting Gibbs to come to the right conclusion.

He did. "DiNozzo, I'm not gay!"

"Yeah, actually, you are! With me." Gibbs was about to hit him again. Tony ran up on him and shoved him against the wall. He pressed his entire body against Gibbs'.

Tony slammed him against the wall so hard a picture fell. His back protested but was soon calmed when Tony shoved his tongue into Gibbs' mouth.

Gibbs shook that thought away and went back to staring at Tony. "I fucked you right here once." The younger man said. "Actually it was our second time. I came here, because I thought we should talk about what happened after the funeral. And you challenged me." Tony smiled at the memory. "Practically dared me to bring it up again. So I kissed you."

"Tony," Gibbs said softly. He was worried about Tony's well being. He didn't seem to be all there right now. "None of that happened."

Tony pulled him back and slammed him again. "Yes it did! It did happen." Gibbs shook his head. Frustrated, Tony pulled away and turned his back to Gibbs. He flipped his jacket back and rested his thumbs in the back pockets of his jeans.

Then he took off upstairs.

Gibbs followed. He wasn't sure what Tony was capable of right now. His memory may not have been perfectly clear, but he was sure that he would remember if he was in an intimate relationship with one of his agents.

He found Tony in his bedroom. He stood near the bed, holding up a few of the ties and Gibbs owned but never wore. "I tied you up once. I had you laid out, spread eagle." He tossed the ties onto the bed. "I spent an entire hour, just teasing you. I didn't do anything until I had you begging me to take you."

Gibbs shook his head for what felt like the umpteenth time. "I don't beg."

"You did that night. I made you." Gibbs was about to comment before another thought struck him.

Tony lay on top of him, his arms and feet were bound. He was naked, sprawled out on the bed. He bucked his hips towards Tony, but to no avail. Tony's lips trailed across his chest, barely brushing against his skin. He avoided his nipples, his neck. Any place that would truly excite him. It was torture!

"Tony!" He moaned. "Please."

Tony stopped right at his naval. "Please what?"

Gibbs swallowed a lump in his throat. "Please, fuck me." Tony smiled.

"Not good enough old man." Gibbs glared, but considering his position, he wasn't really all that scary. "But, since you are trying…" He trailed off. He scooted back up Gibbs' body till he reached his left nipple. His tongue darted out and flicked it. Gibbs moaned loudly.

"Tony, I," he stopped.

Tony sucked on the tiny nub. "You what?"

"I'm begging you!" He hated saying it. He especially hated that he meant it. "Fuck me, please!" Tony smile got even wider.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He pulled away and positioned himself to enter—

Gibbs was finally brought back to the present. Something he was very grateful for. Tony had moved. He stood to the left of the king size bed, at the night stand. He was pulling something out of the top drawer. He turned around and tossed it to Gibbs.

It was a bottle of lubricant. One that was almost empty. Gibbs dropped it as though it were a hot poker. He glared up at Tony. "How did you know that was in there?"

Tony rolled his eyes again. "Because I put it there! Come on, Gibbs I thought you were better than this!" Gibbs shook his head again.

"A bottle of lubricant doesn't prove anything, DiNozzo. And neither do your little fantasies."

That apparently struck a nerve. Tony looked like he had a glisten in his eyes. "Fantasies? What, you think that I'm making all of this up?"

Tony stepped closer. Gibbs didn't move. "I think you believe it all really happened. But it didn't." He was trying to sound sympathetic. He just wasn't sure how well it worked.

Tony chuckled, although there was no humor in it. "You're the one with amnesia, but I'm the one who doesn't know the truth?" He chuckled again. "Nice."

"Tony, you come into my home, tell me this extravagant stories that would never happen, and pull out a bottle of lube! This doesn't prove that we had sex. You don't even have condoms!" Tony looked a little sheepish after that statement. "What?"

His answer was slow coming. "We stopped using them. About a month or so ago." Silence filled the room again. Gibbs had to hand it to him, he certainly thought of everything.

"Again, that would never happen. I always use condoms. Even with my wives, I used condoms!"

"You didn't want to use them anymore. That was your choice, not mine!"

Gibbs sat at the table, watching Tony as he leaned against the counter drinking his too sweet coffee. He had a thought he needed to get off his chest, and he just wasn't sure how to go about that. It was a big deal, and he wasn't really sure how Tony would feel about it.

Finally, after several long grueling minutes, he spoke. "Are you seeing anyone else?"

Tony had the nerve to laugh at that. When Gibbs didn't laugh with him, he stopped. "Are you serious?"

The older man gave him a look that said, "Well, duh!"

The smile on his face dimmed a little, but it didn't leave altogether. "Gibbs, seriously, when would I have time? I'm always with you! I'm either at work, or I'm here. I don't have the time to see anyone else!" Gibbs hoped silently that there was more to his reasoning.

"Do you want to?" Tony was in mid sip when he stopped. He looked at Gibbs over the rim of his mug. Gibbs smiled inwardly. Even that simple little look was sexy.

He put the mug down and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No." The way he said that told Tony that was no arguing over it. The answer was final.

He shrugged. "Good, 'cause neither do I." He picked up his coffee again. Gibbs took a deep breath and prepared himself to make his next request.

"I want to stop using condoms." Yet again, Tony stopped mid sip. This time, his mouth fell open and the coffee dribbled down his chin. Gibbs knew that would happen. He also knew that he couldn't back down.

"You can't be serious." Gibbs mouth never so much as opened. "You are serious." He put the mug down again and started pacing around the room. "Gibbs, this," he paused and ran a hand through his hair. "This is insane! And dangerous."

"Are you clean?"

"Of course, I'm clean, but—"

"And you haven't been seeing anyone else in the last eight months?"

"No, but—"

"Because neither have I. I've been tested, you get tested regularly." I stood up and walked over to the other man. "I've never done this before, but I want to. With you."

"Gibbs—"

Gibbs cut him off yet again, only this time with a kiss. "I trust you." He said when he finally pulled away.

The two men were silent again, before Tony broke it. "You trusted me. You trusted me with your life, and with your body. You gotta remember that." He was close to pleading now.

"I can't remember something that never happened, Tony." He looked up and met Tony's eye. His own were cold. "I think it's time you leave. I have packing to do." He turned away to head back downstairs.

"Why won't you believe me?" Gibbs turned back around. "You remembered Mike Franks, you remembered Director Sheppard." Gibbs had a brief flashback to them making love again. "But not me?"

"They were there for me when I was in the hospital. If we were dating," he said the word with a hint of disgust. "Where the hell were you?"

"Trying to find the guy who nearly killed you. When I had the plague, where were you?"

Gibbs' stomach clenched a little at that memory. Seeing Tony so weak as he lay in that bed, lips chapped, coughing up blood, barely able to breathe. "Trying to find your cure." He stepped closer to the younger man. "See? I do remember you. I remember the truth."

Any emotion suddenly left Tony's face. He completely shut down. Gibbs almost felt bad, but it was for Tony's own good. At some point, he completely imagined a relationship between them. His fantasy was so bad, he actually believed what he was saying. But Gibbs knew it wasn't true. He may not remember everything about the past few years, but he would remember this. He remembered being with Jenny Sheppard the moment he saw her. He would have remembered being with Tony. Especially if what they had was as special as he claimed it was.

"Now, can you please leave? I have packing I have to do." Tony turned his back to Gibbs for a moment, probably to hide his tears. Gibbs stepped away from him again. When he turned around again, his face was blank again.

"Sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Gibbs." Gibbs inwardly flinched at the way he said that. It was meant to cut.

Before anything else could be said, Tony walked out of the room and out of the house. Gibbs sat down on the comforter and rested his head in his hands. This day had been more exhausting than he would have preferred. He really wasn't ready for all of this. Damn Tony for this!

Maybe Gibbs left the wrong person in charge. At this point, Palmer would probably have made a better candidate.


Tony sat in his car outside of Gibbs' house. He wasn't watching the place, or anything else equally creepy. He just hadn't bothered to start the car yet. Instead, he stared down at the photo in his hand. He swiped it from Gibbs' nightstand before he left.

He didn't know why he took it. But if the man wanted to be in denial, then Tony wasn't going to try to keep pushing the issue. He was done.

He smiled at the picture. It was of him and Gibbs, during one of the only vacations they took together. They went to a ski lodge up in Vermont. It was great, nobody knew them, they didn't have to hide who they were, or how they felt. If Gibbs decided to throw his arm around Tony, they didn't have to look over their shoulders to make sure no one was around.

On the first day of the trip, they got one of the other lodgers at the resort to take their picture. It was a completely g-rated moment. Gibbs stood behind Tony, who was laughing at the fact that he had to squat because he was two inches taller. Gibbs on the other hand, had snuck a kiss on his cheek when the lodger called, "say cheese!" It was an absolutely corny moment, but the both of them just loved it.

"Say cheese!" The balding, forty something year old man called out to them. Tony did as he was told. Gibbs didn't. Instead he placed a soft kiss on Tony's cheekbone. Even though he was straight as an arrow, the balding man had to "aww."

After the picture was taken, he handed Tony back the camera. "That's a keeper," he said before he left.

Tony turned around to face Gibbs, pretending to be angry. "Did you just make me your woman?" Gibbs couldn't help but laugh.

"Got a problem with that, DiNozzo?" He was basically mocking his own sternness with that question, but he just couldn't care.

"Yeah, a little. I don't want you to start thinking I'm gonna start acting like your little wife, and cook and clean and—"

Gibbs cut him off with a kiss. When he pulled away, he was still smiling. "Did I ever tell you that you talk too much?"

"Not in as many words. Usually, it's with a head slap or just screaming my name. Sometimes you glare and that's supposed to mean I should shut up—" Gibbs threw his hand over Tony's mouth this time. The younger man continued to ramble into it, tickling his palm.

"I love you." That worked. Tony's eyes widened and no other sound passed his lips. Gibbs finally pulled his hand away. "Finally!" He joked, before he turned away and headed for the ski lift.

Tony caught up to him after only a few steps. "Did you just say that to shut me up, or because you really mean it?"

Gibbs shrugged. "A little of both." Tony grabbed his shoulder and swung him around to face him. He grabbed the back of Gibbs' neck and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. Their tongues swirled around each other as their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Finally, they pulled apart, panting. "I take it that means you love me too?"

"Yeah, but I can't actually say it, because then, it's like I'm only saying it because you said it first, and now I have to say it to avoid an awkward moment. So, it's actually better for me to show you that I love you instead of actually—"

"DiNozzo!"

"Shutting up, boss." Gibbs made damn sure of that when he went in for another kiss.

Tony tossed the photo onto the passenger's seat and wiped his eyes. He didn't even realize he was crying. He hadn't shed a tear before now, but he guessed that it had all finally become too much to bear. It had been long week.

He spared one last look at the house before he started the engine and drove off into the night.


Well, I hoped you liked it! I'm thinking of making a sequel, but if you guys don't like it, then I'm not going to bother. So, let me know, sequel, yey or ney! If you hate it, then let me know, flames are welcomed here! I'm not kidding, I like reading flames. They make me laugh.