Lucy and Max were sitting by the river, where Lucy had gone so many times before. It was a cold, gray November day.
"He's not coming back, is he?" Lucy asked Max, looking up at him from her spot nearest the water.
"I don't know Luce," he replied.
"I want him to."
"Yeah I know. Trust me I know," Max said, knowing how much she was hurting.
"He was, your best friend."
"And, your boyfriend."
"Yeah well look what the fuck happened to Daniel. He's dead Max-"
"I'm well aware of that."
"Don't give me that. He's dead and nothing nothing can bring him back. I was afraid I'd lost you. Hell I've lost most everyone anyway; Sadie, JoJo, Prudence, Jude when is he coming back Max?" Lucy asked desperately.
"I don't know. I wish I had an answer for you but…I don't."
"Mom and Dad are still in Europe and god knows where Julia is. But you're here"
"Yes, I am."
"Jude was right………."
"Oh?"
"Yeah he said he said……..you're so twisted you'll bend your way out of this fix."
Max smiled, remembering Jude, picturing him saying that.
"We were right here when he said that. Right here. God I miss him," Lucy continued.
"I know you do. And I miss him too Lucy."
"But you, even you've changed," Lucy continued.
"Oh we've all changed Lucy even you have. Did you really expect us not to?"
"Well, yes I did actually even though I knew…"
"That it wasn't possible," Max finished.
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"and shit Max the war keeps getting worse and worse and nobody's listening and it was my fault Jude left I drove him away and my scars keep getting worse and………….worst of all………I'm pregnant."
"Whoa back up slow down. Your scars?" Max questioned.
"Yes Max my scars."
"From…?"
"From cutting."
"When did you start?"
"Day after Daniel's funeral."
"Wow."
"Yeah I know."
"Does Jude know?"
"No, he doesn't. I cut in places most wouldn't."
"Oh. And you're still going at it?"
"Yes I'm still going at it."
"And you're pregnant."
"Yes I'm pregnant."
"With?"
"It's Jude's. And mine."
"And he doesn't know. "
"No, he doesn't know. Of course not Max how the hell would he know he's all the way in England."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. And I shouldn't've yelled."
"Lucy."
"Yeah?"
"I just want you to be careful."
"I will."
There was a pause.
"You know, you're not the only one," Max said.
Lucy looked at him; "you mean you?"
"Yes I do."
"Wow. I can only imagine what Julia's gotten herself into…………with you going off to war and me……being the way I am."
"Yeah and our parents in Europe. And Prudence, off to wherever she is."
