Authors Note

Hey!!! This is my first attempt at writing anything in... basically forever, and I'm incredibly rusty... and so to oil the old hinges, I've written this. It's the beginning of what I'm going to treat as a Kyouya X Kaoru fic, which I'll really try to work on. Please tell me what you think! Oh, and this chapter is clean, but the next one is bound to get a little better, if you know what I mean. ^^

And Kao-chan, (you know who you are...) Thanks for your help in pushing me toward doing this. 3

Disclaimer:

I do not own Ouran High School Host club, the Characters, etc.


Horror, pure horror. It was what he was feeling at that moment. The impending threat of loss, the deep-routed feeling of paranoia, and detestation of what he was seeing and hearing. It was so strange to feel this utter fear inside of himself, inside of someone that would so often be called cold, or unemotional.

Well, as of now he was not unemotional, he was downright hysterical. His body was shaking, his pulsed ached inside of his veins, and he'd broken into a cold sweat. The feeling of impending pain agonizingly quaked up his spine, to the base of his neck, and then down again. The only thing was, he didn't know that this was his current state. All he knew of himself was that his legs were moving forward so quickly, but were too slow all the same. He knew that he'd run by trees, been clawed at by their long, thin fingers, thinking-- knowing that his skin was cut. His arms could do nothing but feel ahead, into darkness, into nothing. And then, at that horrid moment, the moment that seemed as though it would never fail, he felt the earth fall out from under him, and felt frozen hands holding him back and pulling, tearing…

And then he'd wake up. With a soft whimper and a jolt issuing through his body, his mind screamed itself awake. While it wasn't the most beautiful of moments, Kyouya was elated to find that it was over. He was greeted by the fuzzy outline of a gleaming open window, and of the rest of his room. A still trembling hand moved to lay on his forehead, then slowly sliding down the pale face, and ending up on his chest, flitting its fingers. He let out a harsh breath, his other hand making to pick up his glasses, then wrestling them onto his face.

With his vision sharp once more, he sat up, feeling a slight head-ache. "Of course…" he mumbled, eyes drifting closed once more, mind still foggy. He drifted slightly, letting himself try to simmer down. But suddenly, a flash of that dream hit him again. It was all he could do not to fall out of his bed. He knew that he was outright terrified.

This is getting bad… I can't even sleep with all of the lights off anymore… Why am I having this dream? Do I need to see a psychiatrist over this? No… Maybe it'll just straighten itself out… But what if it doesn't!? The Ootori's thought sent another chill down his spine.

:~

And once again there was darkness… The sweet, soft feeling of nothingness on the skin, the coolness of it, the obscure blackness that surrounded one when they were alone… But there was someone in it, with him, in these dreams… and that made him feel the intoxicating bliss, as always, that came with the dark.

He had to admit, Nekozawa had figured out long before he had what the pitch blackness of night held. It felt tender, loving even, compared to the light, which burned, and blinded. When he was younger, when he'd find himself outside after dark, a little further away from home than usual, he would be frightened. But not anymore. That instinctual feeling had long since evaporated in the younger Hitachiin, who regularly found comfort in the dark, and in being alone. Now that Hikaru had better things to do than just be with him in their own little niche, he had found some comfort in the dark, where it felt safer than being exposed and seen by others as just the younger twin. He'd found time to think over things, and found that being alone in it was actually kind of nice… though there were drawbacks.

For one, even with the happiness that came from being alone, he still was alone… which he tried to ignore, being that that was the thing he was trying to relish and not suffer from. But he'd found a way around it, and that way had been while he was asleep.

No, he did not usually dream, but as of late, either from loneliness or from a minor shift in his behavior, he started had started to. At first they were crazy, random things that no one could possibly make out, not even the person having it. But as they progressed… they got… What was the word? Deeper? More… realistic? Maybe it was intense. Yes, that was it. They had started to be more intense, and with mild benefits from time to time. More often than not he'd find that he was in a dream that he could control, or at least be coherent in. and other times he was just whisked away in one. But they always held one key thing that he had grown fond of since he and Hikaru's separation, the dark. It was the prevalent factor in his dreams… Though there was something else, which had lately been unsettling him.

Sometimes there would be a face… One that he knew so well, he felt, but he didn't know who it could be, if it was anyone he knew… It seemed so emotional, so unsettling, so on edge. And yet it eluded his conscious thoughts. That dream had been coming more and more often, but he couldn't keep the face after he woke up. It… disintegrated. But that wasn't his main problem… He had begun to have an attachment to the dream, and to that face… Just because of the way it looked. So alive, so filled with feeling, and yet trying to either become or remain a languid, tepid thing. It was strong, even in fear. The face filled him with unintelligable doubts… and a fiery desire to know more, which was ignited by a slightly different dream that he'd had, even before this one had started.

He'd seen this face before, but in a slightly different place than standing stark still in the center of his vision. In this dream they had both been running, stumbling through the blackness that had comforted him. He'd tried to pursue him, make him stop, try to keep him from going too far, going off of the edge. This frenzied chasing, ( Kaoru had thought after having gone over the dream once awake) was pointless, but had felt incredibly urgent at the time. In the end, though, he'd caught him, just as he was at the end of his path. But when he'd turned him back, to face him, he seemed… terrified, so much so that it scared him. And then, he'd been woken up with a kind of jump that reminded him of the falling dreams that he had from time to time.

A knock reverberated through the shaded room, making Kaoru stir from his musings and open his vibrant amber eyes. "Yeah?" he asked skeptically through the door.

"Are you ready for school yet, boys?" asked one of their maids, who always seemed to wake them up two hours before they were even supposed to be at Ouran Academy, let alone finnished with their morning activities.

Kaoru smirked. "We're getting up right now…" he said softly, then looking over at his brother, who was, for once, not draped across him, but rather laying on the other end of the bed and holding onto a pillow. "Hikaru," he urged, "Get up, already…" he nudged him. Hikaru yawned then, mumbling something about still being tired. Kaoru said in the same, slightly annoyed tone, "Mm... Me too." before throwing the covers off of himself and getting up, pushing his musings to the back of his mind until later on, when he could be alone.


I hope you enjoyed, and there's more to come!!!