I haven't posted a story in a few months. That doesn't mean that I haven't been writing. I have this story and then one or two other ones in my head. This one is my favourite. I've been writing it for a while. I'm on chapter seven right now. Once I read and edit them, I'll post them. Sometimes I'll make you wait and sweat a little though (just a little though). Comment and tell me what you like/dislike/love/hate. Enjoy!


That Night

Brooke

-X-X-

My mother is dead. I should care but I don't. She was hardly a mother to me throughout my childhood and the last few months don't count for much. Sure, I'm sad, on some level, that she's gone, but mostly because I'm scared of running my company on my own. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm a strong and independent woman who doesn't need her mother to be successful.

I lift up my black dress with two hands and kick off my heels. My feet are sore and tingle as the blood flow increases once again to my toes. I love the feel of the sand creeping its way in between my toes. I've really missed this.

Today marks the first time we will meet like this. In my mind, I see myself crying on his shoulder. His warm hands are wrapped around me. I close my eyes, loop my hands around his neck to draw him closer, and press my cheek to his chest…

I would never do anything to hurt my best friend. She's my Peyton and I love her like a sister. She doesn't know about today's meeting and I know that she should. Still, I continue to tell myself that I chose Julian and Lucas chose Peyton. We have been over for a very long time.

I pull open the clip on my purse and find my cell phone. I check the time. He's five minutes late. I'll pretend to be angry, just to see him squirm, but of course I'll forgive him.

"You're lucky I'm still here. I was about to leave." I finally hear him behind me. I turn my head away to hide my smile.

"Leave?" He asks as he sits down on the warm sand beside me. "I'm hardly late"

"You were late enough, Lucas. You know that I have a very busy schedule. There is no extra time to sit around waiting for people."

"Brooke," He smiles and squeezed my shoulder with his hand "You just came from your mother's funeral. How busy can you're schedule be?"

I stare down at my pink toes "Thanks for coming to that, by the way, Luke."

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Even though Lucas makes me feel better, it doesn't change the fact that my bitch of a mother is dead.

"I don't know how my dad is going to take it. I guess he has his work and his golf buddies," I shrug and stare off at the ocean "But I'm not sure it'll be enough."

I don't like admitting it but I'm worried about my father. He's never worked well with being alone. My mother was a witch and yet he married her anyway. I still wonder what he saw in her…

"What about you, Brooke?" Lucas takes me off guard. I blink a few times and try to smile. I want to let him know that I'll be okay. I, unlike my father, have excelled at being alone. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Life will go on. It always does." I shrug and tuck a few loose strands of hair behind me ears. I'm thinking of growing my hair out again. Like back in high school.

"Are you happy, Brooke?"

I don't want to answer. He's been asking too many questions anyway. Instead, I ask him a question "How's Peyton?"

He looks taken back. He wasn't expecting to have Peyton join our conversation "She's perfect. We find out the sex of the baby next week."

"That's awesome, Luke." I smile because I'm so happy for my best friend. She deserves her happiness "What are you hoping for? A boy or a girl?"

"I would be happy with either, Brooke." He laughs a little. I know better than to believe him.

"Come on, don't give me that bull shit. Everyone would rather have one or the other. They always say that they don't care but they do. What's it going to be? Boy or girl?"

His head tilts back and he laughs, "Okay, fine. I guess I hope it's a girl."

I laugh, even though I'm not surprised. "Shocker, Lucas Scott chooses woman over men."

"Yeah, yeah, would you think I'm crazy if I said it was because I just love woman too damn much."

"Yeah," I smile and nudge him with my arm.

Suddenly, his face turns serious. "Honestly, it's just, I look at Peyton and all I want is to have a daughter with her eyes. I want a daughter with her curly blond hair and pale skin. You know, with her mood swings and love for music. I already know that she would be so damn gorgeous."

We both stay quiet for a few minutes. These are the moments that I wish I was somewhere else. So I try and concentrate on the fact that I'm flying back to Las Angeles tomorrow.

"I'm sorry."

I blink. "For what?"

"I'm sorry you have to go through all of this alone."

I blink again. I will not cry. "I'm not alone, Luke."

"I know that you have Julian, Brooke, I'm not an idiot. Still, you know that I'll always be here for you."

"Here in Tree Hill." I agree.

"Yeah, it's home, isn't it?"

But I'm not so sure it is home. Not anymore, atleast.

"Home is where your family is. Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Now you're quoting Robert Frost? Seriously?" I look down at my nails and check the manicure I got last week. The nail polish is beginning to grow out. "I was sitting on this very beach the night I broke up with you. I had just gotten back from the doctor with Haley." I feel his eyes on me but I press on, "I was sitting on this very beach, asking God to promise me that he would watch over you."

I laugh and hope Lucas laughs as well. Being the broody boy that he has always been, he doesn't.

"And then a few weeks later, he answered my prayer."

By the way something in his eyes shifts; I know that he understands.

"It's you."

"What?"

"When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me, it's you. It's you, Peyton."

Little does he know that I was just feet away from him, hiding behind the crowds of people. I had wiped away a few stray tears and smiled. Thank you for listening, God.

"She's got a heart of gold, Lucas. And she loves you to death. So don't go looking for trouble, okay?"

He shakes his head and begins "Brooke, I'm not-"

I stop him by putting up a hand "I don't think we should meet like this again."

He seems taken back. What, did he think he would be the one to end it?

"Why?"

"You know why, Lucas. In a few short months, you're going to be a father. Then you'll be getting married. And starting you're new life with you're new family." I swallow, wondering if I should say the next part. I know it's going to hurt but I also believe it'll do the trick "What would your daughter think if she knew her father was sneaking around with another woman while her mom was pregnant?"

He does what I expect. His eyes close and he shakes his head. I need to do this. Cutting this last string will finally set both of us free ."I'm not sneaking around with someone else, Brooke. We're just friends. You know that. And you're not just another woman."

I smile and nod "Don't try to make me feel better because my mother is dead."

"Brooke," He sighs. Though he doesn't like it, I know he understands. "What about you? What happens to you?"

I feel a pang in my chest. I try to smile. "Tomorrow, I'm letting Sam know that I'm moving us to L.A. Then, we'll be off." I sigh. It's not exactly a wonderful plan. "And that'll be that."

His voice is sour when he speaks again "It sounds like you've been thinking this through a lot."

I decide to ignore his sarcastic tone and I answer him honestly. There is more to my story. "I have thought about it, Lucas. This is what is best for Sam and I. Don't think that I ever take these decisions lightly."

He stays quiet for a long time. I can imagine the gears in his brain turning. There was must be something he desperately wants to ask. Then he does. "Don't you want to fall in love, Brooke?"

His question makes me a little angry. Who does he think he is? He can't question my plan. "I don't need to get married to have my happy ending, Lucas."

"Love sure makes things easier though. Anyway, don't you believe that the right guy is out there somewhere?"

Finally, I'm letting the tears fall. I pull my legs up towards my chest and close my eyes. He holds me as I cry myself out. My mind wanders back to the night I said goodbye to him.

"I love you, Lucas, but we go days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened but it never seemed like you missed me. And because of it, I guess, I stopped missing you."

I can't believe it has taken us five years to get to this point. My feelings for him haven't disappeared but have certainly changed. In some ways, they are stronger. I love him more today than I did the first time I said those three little words back in high school. But I also feel like things could never go back to the way they used to be. Lucas had chosen Peyton and even though it breaks my heart, I know that I can't change that.

"I have to go." I say and push myself up.

He stands up as well. "No, wait, you can't just leave."

"Lucas, go home to Peyton." I can't seem to make myself take that second step. My back is to him and I close my eyes. I'm just so tired of all of this.

"Fuck, Brooke, no. You don't get to push me away."

I turn around and look at him like he's crazy. Did he just say that I pushed him away? "Lucas, you're crazy. Go home."

"No, Brooke. You can't leave. Not this beach and as sure as hell not this town."

"Lucas, stop trying to make things more dramatic than they have to be. I'm not committing suicide. I'm not moving to India. It's just Los Angeles. You'll see me again." It's true. He is my family, after all. I smile to let him know that I'll be okay.

He sighs. "Stay so we can talk about this."

"I can't, Luke."

"Because I'm in love with Peyton?"

I shake my head and blink a few times. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart in their hand. "Yes,"

He watches quietly as I put my hand over my heart, trying to feel if I'm actually having a heart attack. I rub my hand up and down a few times before deciding that I wasn't actually dying. "That never stopped you before. I've loved Peyton for years, Brooke. That never stopped you from talking to me before. Don't you remember how close we were when Angie was here? What changed? Why can't you talk to me now?"

"She's pregnant, Lucas!" I scream at him, like it's the simplest thing in the world "She's pregnant and now things are so much more permanent. Love is one thing, Lucas. Marriage as well, but a baby changes everything. You'll always have this little blond haired, blue eyed baby to remind you that Peyton is the one you chose. Every time I'll look into that little girl or boy's eyes, I'll be reminded that you chose Peyton over me. After all the love letters and promises between the two of us, you chose my best friend over me. A baby changes everything, Luke."

He doesn't know how to respond. The two of us just stand there in silence, staring at each other.

Then he does something I never expected. He wraps his arms around me and touches his warm fingers to my face. He takes a step forward and his lips come crashing down on mine. I suck in a breath, wondering why he's doing this. Then I open my mouth and I feel his tongue against mine.

The tears are still flowing freely down my face and I still don't care. I kneel down on the sand, bringing Lucas down with me. His hands are cupping my head, keeping our faces together. All I can seem to concentrate on is the fact that it has been way too long since we've done this.

I graze his stomach with the tips of my fingers, pushing him gently back, until he is lying face up on the sand. Then I climb on top of him and sit on the crotch of his pants. I unzip my dress from the side and pull it over my head. The cool breeze that blows across the beach makes the hair on my arms and legs stick up straight.

Lucas's eyes move up my body, lingering on the parts he hasn't seen in years. After a moment, they've found their way up to my own. I let a small smile slip.

"Are you sure?" He asks me, his warm fingers touching my hips.

I pause. "Yes, I'm sure" But I know I shouldn't be. This is everything that I could have wished for but I know I shouldn't have.

With my permission, he flips the two of us around, pining my under him. His hands are on either side of my face and I can feel every part of his body pressed against mine.

I take my shaky hands and peel his t-shirt off. His skin is sticky with sweat from nerves.

The rest of our clothes come off quickly and we're both left naked, waiting, hesitating. "Lucas, sex doesn't fix any of this." I whisper.

"I know." He whispers back before kissing me.

"Wha--" He quickly finds his way in between my legs, causing me to stop before finishing my question. None of it matters anyway. Right now, I'm with the man I've always loved. We can both worry about how stupid this is later.

After a few minutes, I convince him to let me have a go at it, and then he flips the two of us over once again. In all my years of sleeping around in high school, the boys had always liked being in charge. Now it's my turn and I like it. I like it alot.

I let him hold me against his chest when we are done. It's not such a great idea, I realize, to have sex on the beach. I can feel the sand rubbing against my skin when I move my thighs. All I really want to do is jump into a shower.

I lift my head and smile at Lucas. "I'll race ya." And then I jump to my feet. Luckily, there isn't much of a breeze tonight and the waves are small. I laugh as I'm skipping towards the water. I feel ten years younger.

"Brooke, the water is freezing." Lucas says before I dive in. It's not so bad. He's just being a baby.

After going out a few meters, I circle back, only to see him a few feet away from me. I swim closer and wrap my legs around his waist.

"See, it's not cold." I whisper, taking one of my wet hands and touching it to his dry face. I brush my lips across his a few times and then pull back. I watch his face carefully. All of this is like a dream. "You're not going to leave Peyton." This comes out as more of a statement. Part of me needs him to agree with me.

He frowns. "Do you want me to leave her?"

I wrap my arms tightly around his neck. Under the water, his hands are moving up and down my back. "It doesn't matter what I want, Luke."

"But I want you to be happy."

I nod. "I'll be happy if you're happy. So I'm going to answer my own question. No, you aren't going to leave Peyton. She makes you happy."

His eyes grow large as he takes in the two of us here, naked. This isn't a dream. "Brooke, what about what we just did?"

I shake my head. "In some alternate universe where I get everything I wish for, we would be together. In this universe, it's Peyton who will get what she wished for."

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have come."

"No, Lucas, it's my fault too. We are both to blame."

"What now?"

"As much as I'd love to spend the night here with you, Sam will wonder where I was. Not to mention that the mother of your child is home alone right now."

I let him carry the two of us back to shore. Then we dress just as quickly as we had undressed.

I'm crying again but this time Lucas doesn't comfort me. He has his own tears to worry about.

"Bye, Brooke." He whispers as I begin to walk away.

I don't respond until I'm far enough that I'm sure he won't hear me. He doesn't need to know that this is my real goodbye. "Bye, Luke."