All Is Not Lost, When One Has Hope
A/N: Potential spoilers for non-manga readers!
This was in part inspired by the recent manga and shippuden episodes seeing Yamato just suspended like that I felt sorry for him. I always wondered how they coped mentally after all they did and saw as shinobi's so thought I would attempt to write. Its based around depression and how it effects the sufferer as well as the people around them. I also took inspiration from Serani who wrote Keeper (go check it out, its awesome) and have put Yamato, Kakashi and Iruka together in a relationship as I think they work well together. Its based after the 4th great Shinobi war.
My first attempt so please be gentle. All comments appreciated.
All characters are Masashi Kishimoto's and all credit goes to him.
It's the end of the 4th great Shinobi war. Akatsuki are no more thanks to the efforts of the Great Shinobi Alliance and Naruto. Iruka, Kakashi and Yamato have survived the turmoil but none are the same, in particular Yamato. Yamato, who was captured and tormented beyond Iruka and Kakashi's comprehension by Kabuto and Madara. What can they do to bring him back and ease the mental scars?
CHAPTER 1
Kakashi laid back into Iruka's arms, watching the minute arm tick slowly on the beautifully carved clock Yamato had made for them when they first moved into Kakashi's old family home. He let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding and felt Iruka's arms tighten around him further reading his mind. "He'll be OK babe, we'll all be OK" Iruka reassured both himself as well as Kakashi kissing the top of his head. In truth, he wasn't sure if they could ever go back to the way things were but he damn well would hope and try for Yamato's sake, for all their sake.
It's been 5 months since the end of the war. Slowly but surely, the village and its people were getting back into its normal rhythm of life. Many a life had been lost and many a soul left with scars both physically and mentally. Physical wounds could and would heal, but the mental ones, well the mental ones were tougher and would have to be overcome.
It was a rare afternoon off for both Kakashi and Iruka from helping rebuild the village and securing essential supplies. Kakashi completed the small household chores which seemed pointless to him after everything they've had to deal with. He did it for Yamato, who being house bound till recently kept the house spotlessly clean to keep himself occupied and his mind off greater matters. Iruka prepared a dinner of noodles with miso and walnuts. Walnuts were Yamato's favourite and he hoped the sight of them would be enough for him to take a few mouthfuls. They were both now curled up on the sofa waiting for Yamato to return from his therapy session.
Tsunade Sama insisted every Shinobi had a minimum 6 week session of preventative psychotherapy after the war to avoid any more losses to her village. Kakashi and Iruka both felt better for it but Yamato was understandably put onto the extensive therapy list. After what he'd been through during the war it was a miracle that they even had him to hold. For that, both Kakashi and Iruka would forever remain thankful. Had Itachi and Sasuke not intervened Kabuto when they did and if a Naruto clone passing by hadn't stormed in to save his Taichou after detecting his faint chakra, what their lives would be like now, was not worth thinking about. A broken Yamato was better than no Yamato and both often sent up silent prayers for his wellbeing.
Yamato had spent three months after the war in hospital suffering from broken ribs after being suspended for so long, as well as suffering from snake poisoning and chakra exhaustion. All his chakra channels were damaged after Kabuto's experiments. Sakura, Shizune and Tsunade Sama could only comprehend enough to what Kabuto had to done to Yamato to remove the poison and restore his chakra channels, and hope he would once more be able to fully manipulate wood after the three day extensive and exhaustive surgery. It was touch and go after the surgery but Yamato finally came round 20 hours later. Awaking to unfamiliar surroundings Yamato panicked and with a piercing scream formed a Wood release: Wood Locking Wall to the utter shock and relief of all in the room. It was one thing to help him overcome the torment he suffered, but another for him to come to terms with the loss of his special jutsu. Sakura sighed from exhaustion and with the first real smile in weeks, she coaxed out her Taichou from his cocoon whilst Kakashi and Iruka could only look on in relief swallowing the lumps that had formed in their throats with the release of that heart wrenching cry.
Iruka and Kakashi stayed vigilant by his bedside for those two months. Kakashi himself was still recovering from chakra exhaustion and the overuse of his sharingan. He could hardly move his body with the fierce battles he had fought and it frustrated him. It was tough for Iruka watching both his lovers in such a state whilst trying to rebuild the village at the same time. Kakashi had his bed moved into Yamato's room so he could watch over him and stop Iruka from worrying. Half the time they weren't sure if Yamato knew they were there, as his eyes would wonder over them and gaze out from his window to a place were neither of them could go. He hardly spoke apart from answering a few questions posed by Shizune about his health or to express he wanted something to drink. His nights were restless filled with screams and shouts that disturbed other patients as well as his lovers fiercely, that Tsunade Sama was forced to put him under a sedative state for a week after the surgery. That was a tough week for Kakashi and Iruka as they looked on helplessly to a world Yamato would drift to struggling to survive.
Two months into his stay at the hospital, Yamato awoke with a startled cry apologising to everyone that he wasn't stronger to resist Madara. For the first time Kakashi realised one of the main reasons ailing Yamato. He believed he had let down the alliance buy revealing their strategy. Kakashi placed his hand on Yamato's shoulder and with the other stroked his hair whispering "Yama...It's OK, baby...were here for you" in hush tones to calm and awake him from his nightmare. Yamato stirred and felt clammy, breathing heavily he stared at the blank hospital walls opposite him, taking a moment to shake away the nightmare and find himself again. He peered into those familiar mismatched eyes hovering above him and saw confusion? Worry? No, he knew, it was mostly hurt. He looked to his other side to find Iruka standing, a hand placed on Yamato's leg holding back tears with a similar expression to Kakashi. Yamato sighed and the tears he had been holding back since his rescue finally slipped away without his control. Kakashi wrapped his arms around his lover, placed a light kiss on his lips and held him to his chest as the sobs grew. Iruka came round and encircled both in his arms and they held Yamato, neither able to find words of comfort as all three of their tears flowed freely and Yamato's sobs stabbed at each of their heart.
The sob's finally eased and Yamato looked up into Kakashi's face and then to Iruka's. "Kashi...Ruka, Please...Take me home" he pleaded with his eyes. It was the first time since being rescued that Yamato had uttered their names and showed any interest. Kakashi and Iruka looked at one another both holding back tears, Kakashi gave Iruka's hand a quick squeeze then looked back down at the man in his arms and kissed him thoroughly in response. Yamato opened up and kissed back but then pulled away suddenly without a word. He looked at both the men as if seeing them for the first time. He took in Kakashi's bandaged arm and ribs, Iruka's bandaged head and leg. He touched the familiar scars on both their faces "I'm sorry" he sighed, first looking at Kakashi and then to Iruka. "Ssshh baby, you have nothing to be sorry for" Iruka responded softly and pulled Yamato in for a gentle hug and kiss wishing there was more they could do.
They were soon allowed to take him home, Tsunade Sama agreeing he would probably recover quicker. Luckily the Hatake home was built by Kakashi's ancestors a little further out of the village and had gone unscathed by both the pain attack and war with only the summer house and back garden requiring major work. Once home, they slowly established a routine similar to what they had, taking into consideration Yamato would require as much familiarisation as possible; in truth they both wanted it too. Yamato was very withdrawn and some days chose to sleep in the guest bedroom rather than with them. He often cried out in his sleep and many a time silently wept when he thought Iruka and Kakashi couldn't hear him. The other two could only look on and be there to hold and kiss him when they were sure their actions wouldn't cause him to further withdraw into his shell. "Kashi, it pains me that he won't come to us when his hurting" Iruka cried into Kakashi's arms one night when Yamato chose to sleep in the guest room. They could both hear his silent sobs and both longed to go hold him, comfort him, make love to him and make him forget. "I know babe...he'll find us again Ruka, I know he will. We just have to be more patient" Kakashi reassured Iruka and bent to kiss his lover to take away Iruka's pain as well as ease his own. He knew he was extremely lucky first to have fallen in love and be accepted by Yamato and then for them both to accept Iruka into their relationship. After years of being alone and an outsider, he now couldn't live without either of them without feeling like a part of him was missing. Kakashi withdrew from the kiss with Iruka who proceeded to kiss down Kakashi's neck. "Ruka, I need you please" and with that they both got lost making love to one another to forget, to ease their pain, both longing for their other lovers mouth and hands on them. But they knew they had to be patient and wait for Yamato to come to them.
The clock chimed 6pm; both Iruka and Kakashi looked towards the door to scan for any signs of Yamato. As nothing stirred they returned to staring at the TV not watching anything in particular as they waited.
