All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Credit goes to Sarai Carrasco and mommylee for this chapter. Thanks ladies.
In A Tent It Changed
(Jacob's POV)
Chapter One
Here I am, running up this mountain, carrying my world in my arms, my soul, Bella, so I can deliver her to the arms of her undead love, Edward Cullen. I must have lost my mind, maybe.
She is very quiet, which has me worried. She hasn't said anything since she asked me about the coat I'm wearing. It was going to be a long cold night and I wanted to make sure she has everything possible to stay warm while waiting for that leech, Victoria and her newborn army, who wants to kill her because Edward killed her mate last summer. Mate for mate. That's what brought us together this one time, vampire and wolves to protect the girl I love more than life it self.
I must admit, I'm not moving as fast as I could, trying to stretch the time, I have to spend with her, to hold her in my arms one last time. How will I have the strength to hand her over when the time comes, I'll never know.
Once I do, I'll become more animal than man, she's my soul mate, my imprint, but I never told her and don't plan to do it now. I want her to love me for me, not for some werewolf magic.
I look down on the angel in my arms and notice her playing with the bracelet I gave to her has a graduation present, my step falters as I spy an addition to it, besides the wolf I carved for it in my image as a wolf, there is a big diamond like rock now attached to it.
"What's up with the add on to my present to you?" I asked her, trying to hide the hurt I feel in my soul.
She looks sheepishly up at me. "It's from Edward."
She then looks back at the bracelet, still playing with it. "He felt it only fair, since I don't usually accept gifts from him, but I accepted this from you." She looks back up at me.
"This was like compensation."
She keeps looking in my eyes and I stare right back. My steps unconsciously slow. "Jacob, please don't."
I wonder what she is talking about, then noticed I had stopped running and had brought her mouth close to mine. Was I about to kiss her? Would she let me if I ask?
I wanted to kiss her, needed to. Maybe this one last time, before I loose her forever to the cold world of the vampires. To have something to hold on to. To know the warmth of her lips again, before they become dead and cold.
She had turned her gaze from me, still playing with the bracelet and seems to be deep in thought.
"Bells?"
She looks at me thoughtfully.
"Can I ask one favor before I have to give you up?"
I look at her with all the love I have for her. My heart on my sleeve.
"What favor Jake?" she asks. I see a softness in her eyes.
"Will you kiss me Bells, just one time, of your own free will?"
Her eyes widen as she looks at me. I guess that was not what she was expecting.
"I can't Jake. You know I'm with Edward." She looks sad as she says this.
"Please bells?" I pleaded.
I didn't care how I sounded when it came to Bella.
"Just one more time." I grinned a little sadly. "Without hitting me and breaking your hand this time."
She just looked at me. I saw something flash in her eyes. Love? Though I knew she loved me, she has not figured it out yet. She was so single minded in the thought that, since Edward was the one to rip her heart apart last year. He is the only one that could put it back together.
Then there is his threat of taking his own life, or their version of life. After she came back from saving his life. She told me, he would not want to be in this world if he could not have her with him.
Emotional black mail. That's what it is, and as softhearted as Bella is, she does not want to be the cause of someone dying, even someone that is already dead and should have been buried a long time ago. She doesn't love him, not really. Its guilt and he took it and ran with it.
She loves me, she fell in love with me a long time ago. We loved each other as children. The love had grown to maturity. A full-blown deep love. However, she does not acknowledge it, her feeling of guilt and responsibility won't let her.
I am the one she should be with, as I look in eyes I come to a conclusion. I will fight for her until her heart stops beating. I won't be fighting just for our love and our life together, but her soul.
Even if we never end up together, she has a beautiful soul and it's worth fighting for.
"Bells?" I put my question for a kiss in that one word. "Just a quick kiss." I grinned at her. "We don't have to use tongue if you don't want to." Still grinning.
"Come on, what could it hurt? You scared you might realize you love me?" I challenged
"Maybe realize you love my kisses and can't live without them?"
Her eyes widened more. "Okay Jake, just one kiss."
I pulled her up to me and laid my lips on hers. It was not a deep and passionate kiss. It lasted less than a second, but nothing felt better to me than having her lips touch mine.
I felt the heat rush through my body and fought to bank it down. The spark I felt when we kissed, I could tell by the look in her eyes she felt it too. She now looked confused.
Good, better to be uncertain than to confuse guilt for love.
I began running again, it has really started to snow harder now. I looked down and started to pull her face into my chest so her face would be protected, and felt my heart squeeze in when I noticed a tear slip from her eyes.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you cry."
I feel no better than the leeches, she has enough to worry about now with some leech trying to kill her and for me to make her realize how she feels about me right now makes me feel like crap. She does not need to feel this confusion. I guess this was not the time or the place for this.
Oh I still plan to fight for her, fight with everything I have in me. Because to loses her means, loosing my soul and then I would be no better than the leeches.
"You didn't make me cry Jacob." I reached down and wiped the tear from her face
"Then why are you crying?" I tried to smile, though I really felt like crying. "Was the kiss that bad?" I tried to lighten the mood.
"No Jake, that's not what it is." She looks at me, her eyes filled with tears. "I guess I'm just wondering if I made the right decision."
Hearing her say those words filled my heart with hope. This is the first time she has ever admitted to being confused about her decisions. I do have a feeling she has never been really certain of the relationship she has with Edward.
Why else would she have fought him so hard to be able to spend time with me . I know she was never able to truly be herself with him, only with me is she able to relax, to not worry about being perfect. I wonder if she is happy, truly happy.
I might as well ask, what could it really hurt, not me, the pain I have knowing she might become one of them, that I might lose her forever, could not get any worse.
I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing and possible everything.
"Bella, are you truly happy with everything? I mean, I'm carrying you
through the woods so some heartbroken leech won't let her army rip you to shreds. Could you answer me honestly?"
"I'm happy Jake, just not as happy as I thought I'd be. Italy was supposed to bring my love back for Edward, and all it did was bring up my insecurities about myself. I'm happy he's back, I'm happy he's happy, I'm happy that I saved him from being burned by the Volturri."
She looked toward the Mountains that we were about to start hiking, they were as cold and lifeless as the one she saved from death, something he should have experienced years ago.
"That's not what I meant. I want to know if you are genuinely happy. Like, you think in the future, down the road, living in that creepy house, as your heart stops beating, and you wake up wanting to kill me and everyone else you have ever loved. Then you go to people's weddings, and baby showers and you still look the same, never experiencing the life cycles.
Never feeling the fluttering in your own stomach as a child grows inside of it. Or what it would be like to grow old with someone, and see your grandchildren, and experience what LIFE has to offer. Does it make you happy to think of what you'll give up? To be cold, and forever thirsty? It scares the hell out of
me Bells."
My heart aches as I think of this. My Bella, walking the earth for
eternity.
She looks at me sadly, then shook her head and turned to look at the cold dead mountains again. I guess this really isn't the time to talk about this, in a few hours we will be in a fight to save her life. Then my fight will begin.
I pulled her in, closer to my chest and picked up speed. It had started to snow heavier and I need to get her under the shelter of the tent. I just hope the leech has it done and waiting for her. I'm glad I brought this jacket for her, I doubt the leech, Mr. Perfect Edward Cullen even thought of it.
Ten minutes later, I was in the clearing where the tent was, Quil laying next to it in wolf form, standing next to him was Cullen. I know they were probably having a mental conversation. In the last few months, Quil have gotten closer to him and even tried to convince me that Edward was a decent person.
Person? Yeah, right, I would use that word rather loosely when speaking of him and any vampires. They have no soul, just memory of how a decent person should behave, copying a long time learned etiquette.
There is one great thing about vampires not having a soul, well one of many. None of the wolves can imprint on them. In order for that to happen, you actually have to have a beating heat and a soul to imprint on. I for one am thankful about that.
I slow down and walk towards him, though I truly hate it, I have to turn her over to him. I would rather rip his head off. He knows what I am thinking; he scowls at me, but says nothing.
The little wimp doesn't want to upset Bella. Maybe that's what she needs, to be upset, to be shaken up to the realities and consequence of our decisions.
I stand before him preparing to hand Bella over to him. No matter how badly I wanted to keep her in my arms, I had no other choice but to let her go at least for now.
I would stay here close by tonight and then come tomorrow I would fight to save her life from these bloodthirsty vampires. Once that fight was done, I fight to save her future. Our future.
