Disclaimer: Because everyone really thinks I'm Kishimoto, I'll tell you. I'm not.

This is my first attempt at fanfiction, and since I do not yet have a Beta Reader, there are probably going to be a lot of mistakes. So please, bear with me.

Random Quote of the Chapter: Just calm the fuck down!... I've got this. – Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time

*Prologue*

Namikaze Minato cursed, viciously ripping apart another flawed design. He had mere hours until the Kyuubi reached the village and he still hadn't completed the seal! He had thought he was done a half hour ago, but then he realized something that completely screwed him up. The Kyuubi wasn't alive.

Now this wouldn't have been a problem normally since the seal was only designed to lock away its soul and chakra, which it did in fact have; no, no, the problem was what Kyuubi was MADE of. Since it was actually a physical being, it had to be made of something, and this something just had to be the one thing that could disrupt the shikifuuin.

It was in fact made of chakra, but not just any chakra, elemental chakra. Most people would refer this to "elemental" jutsu and their affinities; but those are a mere branch of the "elementals". Elemental, in this case, meant dead. Anything dead and yet self-sustaining was an elemental being; it was as simple as that.

Dead, lifeless, corruptive, that is the type of energy the Kyuubi was. Up against the small amount of chakra the Shinigami was willing to expel to seal it, and his son's meager supplies of human chakra, Minato shuddered to think of what it could and would do.

So now he was pacing his office, racking his brain for any ideas while the pain-filled shrieks of farmers and Fire Country citizens that got in the way of the great beast pounded against his eardrums. The blonde's eyes suddenly snapped open; they got in the way, they got in the way, of the Kyuubi! Minato's grin threatened to split his face as he began furiously scribbling on the blank scroll in front of him.

The Kyuubi was an elemental being, a dead spirit, so if he counteracted that with a natural being; a spirit made of the exuberant and completely alive chakra that sages sometimes harnessed, the two chakras would counteract eachother, thus giving his son control of his. It was perfect!

Twenty minutes later he slumped back into his chair, on the verge of crying. There wasn't enough room! The amount of space ones coils gave was somewhat limited, but with the seal purifying only the Kyuubi's chakra there would have been just enough room. But now it had to purify both beings chakra's at the same time, or they would get mismatched and throw everything out of wack. The problem was that the coils of an adult couldn't handle that, let alone a child's, so now he had to find a different way to do this.

Sometime later an idea came to mind, and his eyes lit up; if he couldn't convert their chakra, he'd put it away permanently. The mindscape, he gleefully thought, was an infinite space, vast beyond comprehension. Perfect.

And then another idea came to mind. The mindscape connected to the sub-conscious, which connected to the conscious, which connected to the five senses. So he could convert their chakra's, just in a less practical way. He immediately began working once more, first on the Kyuubi's portion of the seal; because he still needed to verify what natural spirit he could include into it, and because he had already started on the element seals, which were very different from nature seals.

An hour and a half later the Yondaime breathed a sigh of relief as he admired his finished piece of work, just looking at the intricacies of it gave him the beginnings of a headache, so he quickly rolled it up and pocketed it. He then strode over to a crib on the other side of the room; poking his head in to look at the tiny bundle. A small infant rested innocently, his fuzzy looking blond hair swaying slightly in the wind of the opened window, his eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his face; it broke Minato's heart.

For a moment he considered taking his sleeping child and wife and leaving, having a family, and being happy. He dashed those thoughts away as quickly as they came though, he was doing this for Konoha, and it would survive.

His face determined he gently picked the baby up before jumping out the window, toward the northern area of the village, where the Kyuubi was wreaking havoc. Once he reached the scene he leapt as high as he possibly could above a deserted clearing, and flashed through hand seals.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Minato shouted before the clearing was enveloped in smoke, the fog was blown away, revealing an enormous toad wielding a giant kodaichi and smoking a pipe. All the fighting shinobi, and even Kyuubi, paused looking up at the creature. Then they saw the figure atop it and all the Konoha Nin's cheered, the Yondaime was here!

"Everyone retreat!" Yelled a Jounin, and they all scrambled back to let their hokage fight. Meanwhile the Kyuubi was roaring in fury and shooting massive fireballs at the toad, its nine tails whipping angrily around it.

"What the hell is going on Minato!?" Gamabunta grunted angrily, parrying a slash of the beast's claws with his blade. He blew out a few water bullets, which only served to anger the kitsune further.

"I'm sorry Bunta, but there's no time to explain, I need you to hold it off while a complete the sealing process!" Minato shouted urgently, already going through hand seals at a mind numbing rate. He glanced down and gasped, nearly stopping his chain.

Little Naruto was staring up at him with curious cerulean blue eyes, and when he gasped Naruto giggled, a small adorable gurgling sound that made Minato's eyes soften. "It's alright little one, it's all going to be over soon," he murmured warmly, just as he finished the last hand seal.

He quickly took the scroll out of his pocket and threw it into the air, it unraveled and began to glow, he quickly activated the shikifuuin, watching as the death god shimmered into view.

"Who dares summon me?" Its hoarse voice rang out, even though its lips did not move. It stared at the Yondaime, "You are my sacrifice, where is my task?" It demanded, the Yondaime shivered slightly. The Shinigami noticed the Kyuubi, whose eyes were wide in fear. It murmured a small ah, and swiftly stuck its hand into the Kyuubi's chest, it then yanked it out, making the demon howl in pain.

In its hand was a dim shivering object, it deftly dropped it into the hovering scroll and watched as it was sucked in, the behemoth behind it crumbling into dust.

It motioned to take Minato's soul but was stopped by an invisible force; the death god sent the man a withering glare that made him shudder. "What trickery is this mortal?" It all but snarled, even though its voice didn't fluctuate in the slightest. Minato quickly gathered up all the courage he could and began.

"Well, Shinigami-sama, you still have to seal one of your spirit kind-"and then he was pressed against Gamabunta's back, Naruto gripped tightly in his arms. Gamabunta himself was struggling to maintain his crouch, and the previously oblivious shinobi were on the ground screaming at the impossible amounts of KI.

"YOU DARE TRY TO TRICK THE SHINIGAMI!?" It's voice finally escalating, into that of a roar, as the enraged god almost literally bore holes into the man of its ire. "YOU INSOLENT WORM! I WILL SHOW YOU TRUE PAIN FOR MAKING ME DISGRACE MY OWN PEOPLE! It is blasphemy! You will burn, I will destroy you!" And suddenly it stopped, and a contemplative look settled onto its features.

It suddenly grinned evilly, and made a grabbing motion with its hands. Then, to the Yondaime's horror, a humanoid spirit appeared in the god's hand. It had lifeless emerald eyes, and cascading red hair.

"KUSHINA!!!!!" Minato screamed, his face twisted in pain as he vainly tried to stand up, Naruto seemed to sense what was happening and began wailing, making grabbing motions at the shimmering figure.

"Poor, poor mortal. Did you really believe you could unsurp my power? I think not, foolish Yondaime," it shook its head mockingly. "You have unfortunately forgotten that I am the SHINIGAMI, master of death. I only take and give souls for other souls."

Then, with deliberate slowness, the Shinigami ate the konouchi's being. Minato and Naruto wailed as one.

"Delicious," It then regretfully made a calling motion with its hand and a hazy figure appeared in it," I'm sorry, little Hitomi, Hoshitenshu; saraba" It dropped it into the scroll where it was sucked in. The ink designs floated off the paper onto the small child's body and then shrunk until it was printed on his stomach.

The baby's crying turned to whimpers as the souls were transferred into him, and could only watch helplessly with Gamabunta as the Shinigami viciously ripped his father's soul out of his body. The death god then proceeded to slowly chew it, causing as much pain as possible before swallowing.

Seemingly satisfied, it shimmered away into nothingness; while a solemn Gamabunta, with no more chakra to maintain his form, poofed away into nothingness.

Naruto fell.

*

Laughter mingled with screams carried through an alley out into the districts of Konoha, the wails sound almost ghostly and bore a horrible pain, but no one reacted to the horrid cries for help, it was too late for any children to be out so only the adults heard.

They knew who's (or in their opinions, what's) voice it was; so at most someone would shake their heads in annoyance and mutter something like, "loud-ass punk," and other such scathing comments. Then at worst, they would go over to watch the show, perhaps cheer on the brave hero's battling the bakemono (monster).

Inside of said alley four shinobi laughed drunkenly as they beat, stabbed, and spit on a small figure at their feet. Closer inspection would reveal that the figure was in fact a young boy, no older than seven, who was screaming and trembling in pain and fear.

His hair was a sickly orange matted to his face, most likely the blood colored his once blonde locks. His cerulean eyes shined, not with innocence, but anguish. He looked severely malnutritioned and wore mere rags that clung to his body from the sticky life fluid.

The three chuunin and one jounin laughed as they swaggered out of the alleyway, satisfied with the damage they had done to the 'demon brat,' seeing their fun was over, the growing crowd of civilians dispersed. But inside, something amazing was happening.

Naruto whimpered in pain on the ground, nursing his broken bones and fractured skull, when an ethereal golden glow surrounded him and slowly began to heal his wounds. Naruto could feel soft, warm, arms wrap him in an embrace from behind, and he could feel a pair of lips touching his ear, whispering gently to him.

"It's okay beloved, you're going to be fine, I'll make the pain go away," the figure whispered sweetly to him, pulling him closer into her heavenly embrace.

"Hime-chan," he croaked out, "it hurts, it hurts so bad," his voice was broken and his vision was swimming, he desperately needed comfort and the spirit was more than willing to give it.

"Come beloved, let us escape the pain together" she whispered softly, before tugging Naruto into the recesses of his mindscape.

*

Sometime later Naruto awoke to a feeling of warmth holding him and his eyes slowly drifted open. Once he saw his surroundings he sighed in relief. He was in a beautifully furnished room, which contained shining golden walls, matching carpets and a large bed in the middle; which he was currently in. The strange thing was that the room had no windows or doors, but it was still a majestic place that positively radiated calm. Smiling contentedly Naruto snuggled back into the warmth.

Before he could fall back to sleep however, a soft feminine giggle jolted him out of whatever dreams he could have experienced. Naruto looked behind him and his eyes met a pair of large breasts, blushing furiously he looked up and met the face of what one could only describe as an angel. She had long golden locks and perfect creamy skin, a cute little nose and a pair of full golden lips. But her most beautiful features were her eyes; her irises were a (you guessed it) shining gold, while her pupil was in the shape of a star.

If anyone was put on the spot they would call her a goddess, and the ironic thing; she was one. Naruto was entranced in her beauty, as he always was whenever they had these visits. She giggled again, turning him around so he wouldn't have to crane his neck to see her.

"Did you have a nice rest beloved?" She inquired softly, making sure not to raise her voice incase he had a headache. Her voice was melodic and it felt like honey on Naruto's ears.

"Mhmm, it was ver… very good" He said, struggling slightly with the word 'very,' it broke the deity's heart.

"Well beloved, your wounds are almost gone, so you should be fine soon" Naruto's face became downcast at that, as that meant he would have to leave soon. The woman, seeing this elaborated.

"Though I suppose, you could stay a bit longer than need; but only if you want to" She quickly added the next part, already knowing what his reaction would be. Her guess proved correct as Naruto furiously shook his head up and down. She gave him a small mischievous grin.

"Alright then," She murmured before yanking him forward into an intimate embrace, burying his face into her girls, while one leg- which seemed to go on forever- was thrown over his legs, locking him into place. As this happened she nuzzled her head against his fuzzy blonde hair. Everything was silent for three seconds.

Then the women jumped and almost pulled back as her breasts became very warm from the force of the young boys blush. She threw her head back and laughed, which caused Naruto's tense body to relax at the wondrous sound.

"What's wrong, do I embarrass you beloved?" She asked, putting on a fake hurt tone at the end. Apparently she was a very good actor because Naruto was instantly shaking his head negative. Then he realized he was still in the woman's breasts and blushed even brighter. He quickly took his head out, slightly dazed.

His companion laughed softly and settled back down next to him, she nuzzled into the crook of his neck and slowly drifted off to sleep. Naruto was blushing again, but he now had a smile on his face as he snuggled closer. The two drifted off to sleep, both content with the moment they had shared.

*

Later the woman woke up to an empty bed. She sighed and sat up before getting off the bed. Right after she did so, the room around her dissolved into nothingness, leaving her in a dank cage, the only light source coming from the halls at the end of the chamber. A feminine chuckle resounded from the cage next to her, this one much darker than her own.

"Why do you even try?" A voice came from the cage beside hers, dark and amused, almost deep enough to be disturbing, but just high enough for it to be a rich, smooth, tone. The woman poked her head through the bars and looked to the side; another head was poking out a cage identical to hers, staring at her curiously.

She had mid-back length crimson hair, a narrow nose, and full red lips. Just like the golden-haired goddess her eyes were her most beautiful feature. Glowing crimson irises and cat-like slit pupils gave her a feral, sexy look.

"I'm not sure I understand the question," she said, her face scrunched into a curious expression. The red-head scowled in annoyance, her eyebrows scrunching together in irritation.

"You damn well understand the question! I was only wondering why you keep going at it," She snapped, eyes shining brighter with irritation at not being answered directly.

"Excuse me?-" she began, but was cut off.

"Seducing him! You keep trying to seduce him, hoping to get him to release you! I was just wondering why, because we both know it isn't going to work for two reasons: One, he's too young, you bimbo. And two, he couldn't let you out even if he wanted to, that flesh bags seal is too strong. So just answer my damn question!" She growled, her very short temper already lit by the woman's cluelessness.

The other being stared at her oddly for a minute, before she burst out laughing, falling on her back and rolling around on the floor. She held her sides, trying to ease the pain as she tried to calm herself down. The other prisoner seethed, her teeth grinding together almost audibly, as the golden haired beauty laughed at her.

"What's so funny!?" She roared, her nine crimson tails whipping around behind her angrily. The woman finally calmed herself enough to speak normally as she stood back up and began to reply.

"You actually believe I'm doing this to trick Naruto-kun?" She wheezed out, her voice disbelieving and amused at the same time. "No, no, I do it because he is my soul mate, and I love him you clueless thing; really Kyuubi-san, I'm offended you would assume such things of me," she said, her voice taking a mock hurt tone not unlike the one she'd given Naruto. Except this one was mocking, and it pissed Kyuubi off to no end.

"That's bullshit! You're a fucking goddess; a higher being! And you actually expect me to believe you've fallen in love with a human!? What do you take me for!?" She shouted, not willing to believe the spirits words. The other lady raised an eyebrow.

"Kyuubi-san, you don't seem to understand. I'm being what Naruto-kun needs: a mother, a friend, and a companion. Not that you would know anything of that!" She said the last part scathingly, her irises glowing furiously.

Kyuubi flinched back, as though slapped, but quickly covered it up with a sneer.

"Whatever, I won't intrude in your exciting love life with the kit, wouldn't want to spoil the future heated moments you'll have with your lover," she jeered, before retreating back into her cage to boil over the wounds to her pride.

The goddess scowled, her good mood ruined, and retreated back into her cage. Perhaps next time they met he'd be awake more; just to talk, she assured herself blushing slightly. Now damn Kyuubi-san put ideas in her head! She'd be dying now, because she knew she would have to wait years until she could even hug him without feeling like a pedophile.

*Five Years Later*

Twelve year-old Naruto sighed in annoyance, glancing at the clock again. Their teacher was two and a half hour late! He looked over to his new teammates, and grimaced internally at the thought. He was thrilled to have Sakura-chan on his team, but since he also had Sasuke-teme, all of his Sakura-chan's attention was focused on the teme. He didn't have a chance, he just wasn't willing to accept that. Sometimes he wished she was real.

Hime-chan, he'd called her. She was hundreds of times more beautiful than Sakura, and she loved him with all her heart. He even remembered in some of his dreams she'd called him 'beloved,' but that's all they were, dreams. He shook his head, he couldn't focus on some woman who didn't exist, he had to focus on Sakura-chan! There had to be some way he could get her to notice him, so he began scheming.

Inside his mind though, something very strange indeed was happening.

*Mindscape*

"Graahh!!" A golden fury practically screamed inside her cage, nearly pulling her hair out in frustration. She hadn't seen her beloved in two years!! It was maddening! She turned her head swiftly to the left as she heard snickering.

"What's wrong Hitomi-sama, a bit frustrated about not getting to see your 'soul mate'?" At that point Kyuubi started laughing, in a way eerily similar to the way the other woman had years ago. Hitomi growled, calming herself from her rage, before she suddenly smirking.

"Hey Kyuubi-san, don't you go through heat, or something like that?" She questioned, smiling evilly. Kyuubi adopted a confused look.

"Your point?" She questioned.

"Well, it's just that we've been in here for twelve years and I've never seen you have a heat," she inquired 'curiously'.

"Hm," Kyuubi hummed thoughtfully, "Well, the sealing knocked me out for about five years, and sometime during then I must have had my heat. So I guess I missed it!" She said cheerfully, obviously pleased that she hadn't had to go through that little faze. On Hitomi's side however, her evil smile grew wider.

"And when do these heats happen, exactly?" She asked innocently, while Kyuubi looked at her suspiciously.

"Every few years, why?" She said slowly, craning her neck further to get a better look at the goddess.

"Oh but Kyuubi-san!" She said in mock urgency, " That was seven years ago! That means there's going to be one coming up soon right?" Her eyes widened almost comically.

Realization at the woman's ploy finally dawned onto her face, before quickly turning to horror. "Oh fuck me," she said.

"I'm sure you'll be begging Naruto-kun to in a couple months, Kyuubi-san, just remember though, the flesh bag is mine," she said smugly.

"Oh shut the hell up," the demoness mumbled, retreating back into her cage.

Hitomi smirked in victory, sauntering back into her cage, mood lifting. Five minutes later she missed Naruto again. The enraged screams of the goddess soon filled the mindscape once more.

*

Outside it had been a half hour and their teacher still wasn't there. Naruto was getting really annoyed, Sasuke's eyebrow was twitching, and Sakura was positively steaming. Iruka had left hours ago so they were all alone.

Just as he was about to explode, the door opened. A head popped in; the man wore a mask that covered the lower half of his face, and he had gravity defying gray hair. His hitai-ate covered his right eye, and his other was giving them a calculating look.

"My first opinion of you three," he began, "you all suck. Meet me on the roof in five minutes," the man deadpanned before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

*On the Roof *

"Okay, now that everyone's here, I'd like you all to tell me some things about yourselves. You know, likes, dislikes, hobby's, dreams for the future," he said cheerfully, his visible eye in a rainbow shape.

"Um, sensei, I don't think I understand, why don't you show us?" Sakura asked innocently.

"I don't see why not, well, my name is Hatake Kakashi, I like some stuff, I dislike other things, I got a few hobbies, dreams? Sure," He finished, shrugging his shoulders. All three pre-teens sweat-dropped.

'We only learned his name' Sakura thought to herself.

"You, pinky, you're up," he said, pointing to Sakura. She scowled at the nickname but began none the less.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like…" She glanced at Sasuke and blushed, " I dislike idiot blondes," she said, glaring heatedly at Naruto, not noticing the hurt that flashed across said blonde's eyes. Although Sasuke and Kakashi did. "My hobbies…" She glanced at Sasuke and blushed again. "And my dreams for the future…" She glanced at Sasuke again and squealed slightly.

"Okay… Broody's next" Kakashi said, somewhat deflated. 'I get a fucking fan girl, great, just great!'

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke began, ignoring Kakashi's jibe. "I like few things, and dislike many, I have no hobbies, and my dream; no, ambition is to restart my clan, and kill a certain man…" He trailed off darkly at the end, while Sakura stared at him in awe.

"Right… Well Blondie, I guess your last" Kakashi said, even more deflated.

" Okay! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like training and ramen, I dislike stuck up bastards, My hobbies are training and learning new jutsu, and my dream is to become the best hokage ever!" Naruto nearly shouted. Kakashi inwardly sighed, of course he'd get the pain in the ass team, oh well.

"Alright team, I want you to meet me at training ground 7 tomorrow at 5 o' clock sharp. We're going to be doing a survival test"

"But Kakashi-sensei, we already did survival tests back in the academy," Sakura said, confused.

"Ah, but Sakura, this test will be much harder, and determine whether or not you three will become Gennin."

"WHAT!?" Naruto and Sakura shouted comically, and even Sasuke's eyes widened.

"But Kakashi-sensei we already passed the graduation test!" Sakura protested, thinking it must have been a mistake.

"No Sakura, that test was to see if you could qualify to become Gennin," Kakashi corrected. "My test is much harder." Kakashi finished.

"How much harder?" Naruto asked, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. All three could practically feel the evil grin on Kakashi's face, even though it was covered by a mask.

"Hard enough that there is a 66 percent chance you will all fail."

*

Author's Note:

Hey yall, this is Beyond The Cage. For those of you who saw the absolutely atrocious first two chapters of the original story, you'll know why I decided to revise this.

Unfortunately I'm only doing minor things like correcting grammar mistakes and combining the two "chapters" to make it longer.

Now by no means does this count as me getting this story out of abandonment, I won't even think about doing that until ED is completed, and maybe not even after that, but I thought I'd make it look a bit prettier.

Read and Review if you can stomach this piece of crap.