Author's note: Warning, squealy fits may ensue. Anywho please enjoy and review!

Tsuzuki was innocently strolling down the streets of some random, little village looking for some place to satisfy his ridiculous sweet tooth. It was a miracle that he had been able to escape work that day, but no one seemed to need him for anything nor was there any suspicious and disturbing activity that simply screamed, "WORK OF KAZUTAKA MURAKI" at the moment so he was free to pursue food for that day. It was a nice day, pleasant with the sun shining warmly on the small village and everything okay in the world.

"Hello Mr. Tsuzuki."

The shinigami froze in his tracks as that creepy yet somehow awesomely seductive voice assaulted him. He did not want to turn around, but he knew that even if he ran away at full speed the twisted man behind him would somehow capture him. While gauging how desperate the situation really was, his decision to run or stay was made for him when Muraki walked to his side.

"How nice to run into you on such a lovely day."

Tsuzuki turned some to look at the man with silver eyes. Muraki looked creepily stunning as always and of course he looked quite pleased to have run into Tsuzuki; though the brunette suspected that the doctor had somehow known that he would be there and followed him. Tsuzuki wasn't sure how Muraki managed this, but that made him no less suspicious.

"What do you want Muraki?" Tsuzuki growled, unhappy with this wonderful encounter (or so says this author, Tsuzuki will disagree with me, I am sure).

Muraki tutted and even looked vaguely offended. "I was merely taking a walk in this lovely, little village, perfectly innocent." Tsuzuki's left eyebrow twitched and he set his jaw, he neither trusted nor believed Muraki. "Oh dear you are already all wound up," the pale man said sweetly. "It is quite enjoyable to get you so bothered, Mr. Tsuzuki. Tell me, am I the only one who can do it so quickly?"

The comment caused Tsuzuki to blush furiously but also rallied him up even more. Why did Muraki always make him feel so funny and be able to mess with his emotions with great ease? It unnerved him.

"Let me buy you something sweet," Muraki said interrupting the food fanatic's train of thought once more. "You most likely came here for something delectable anyways, and I would like to satisfy your craving."

Damn you Muraki! Tsuzuki thought to himself. How did that man make something so innocent into something so dirty? "How do you know that I am not on a mission?" Tsuzuki asked.

"You are quite easy to read," Muraki said as though this information was obvious to anyone. "And besides I have been behaving as of late." This comment was accompanied by a disturbing smirk and his normal silver eye glittered secretly. Tsuzuki bit his bottom lip in frustration and indecision; on one hand he was being offered a free meal but on the other the person offering was Muraki who always had some sort of perverse intention behind all of his actions. Should Tsuzuki's love of food win over his discomfort with Muraki, or vice versa?

As before, Muraki made the choice for him by taking Tsuzuki's hand in his own, and leading him away. Tsuzuki immediately shook off Muraki's hand as it sent shivers down his spine, but followed him nonetheless. The aberrant man led Tsuzuki to a nice ice-cream shop that sat in-between a florist and a bakery. Inside it was mostly empty save for an old woman who was eating a sundae. "What do you desire?" Muraki asked as they walked inside, Tsuzuki frowned as he looked at the menu, completely lost to the double meaning of the silver-haired man's words and the fact that Muraki was surreptitiously creeping closer until their shoulders lightly touched. It took the shinigami a bit to figure out what he wanted, but when he did, his amethyst eyes widened in childish delight.

"Have you decided?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki looked up at him with a blissful yet stupid smile on his face and nodded.

"This," the brown-haired man said, pointing at the item that made his mouth water in sinful anticipation.

"An excellent choice," Muraki said and then walked up to the cashier to order.

"What can I get you today, sir," the blonde girl behind the counter asked with a bright and brilliant smile, she was either smitten by his irresistible looks or simply sensed the awesomeness that radiated off of him.

"I would like a brownie sundae and a banana," Muraki said smoothly.

The girl blinked. "With the sundae?"

"No, just a banana alone, is that a problem?" he asked smiling in that blood chilling way. The girl shook her head and assured him that it wasn't a problem at all and she'd be happy to get him a plain banana. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on whose side your rooting for) Tsuzuki had been sitting down the entire time that Muraki made their order, and therefore the shinigami had not heard what the abnormally pale man had ordered.

Once the order was made, Muraki sauntered over to where Tzusuki was seated and sat across from the man that he was obsessed with. The sat in silence waiting for their treats to be done and delivered, Tzusuki spent the time looking around the ice-cream parlor so that he wouldn't have to look at Muraki who was hungrily eyeing his companion. When their food was placed in front of them Tzusuki squealed like a yaoi fan girl who has just discovered Junjuo Romanitca while Muraki simply smiled, watching as Tzusuki feasted upon his brownie sundae, taking his banana into his hands and patiently waited, waited for Tzusuki to look up so that he could commence his brilliant plan,

It took Tzusuki a minute or so before he actually looked up at Muraki out of curiosity to see what the doctor had ordered for himself, and when he did glance up he was very much surprised for Muraki was not, as Tzusuki had suspected, starring creepily at the brunette, but rather concentrating on peeling a large and ripe looking banana. Poor Tzusuki watched in horrific fascination as the silver haired man's long, pale fingers slowly removed the peel from the, in Tzusuki's mind, unfairly shaped fruit. As he witnessed this, Tzusuki concluded that it should be illegal for kinky doctors with a freaky big eye to be within a ten foot proximity of all bananas.

"Are you well Mr. Tzusuki?"

The sweet loving fool had to shake himself a little, and then, with great difficult, tore his eyes from Muraki's fingers and the yellow fruit they held, to Muraki's silver eye.

"W-what?"

"You seem nervous and you have a light sheen of sweat upon your lovely skin. You can take off your jacket if it's too uncomfortable for you."

Inside his mind Tzusuki was damning Muraki to the deepest pit of hell where this author's lawnmower currently resides. The banana peeler knew, he so KNEW, what was wrong with Tzusuki, but it seemed like the bastard was going to play innocent. Nevertheless, Tzusuki did take off his jacket to pretend that the sweat was due to the room's temperature, but in truth while he was feeling a bit hot it had absolutely nothing to do with the current temperature.

In a noble attempt to distract his thoughts, Tzusuki went back to his brownie sundae, but after a couple of delicious bites and far too few seconds for him to comfortably admit, his curiosity got the better of him and he glanced up once more.

Muraki now had the peel off and with what he was now doing there was no doubt left in Tzusuki's mind that the twisted murderer wanted the apple of his freakishly huge eye to watch this.

"Are you enjoying your sundae Mr. Tzusuki?" Muraki asked, his voice betraying nothing. Tzusuki nodded with a glare, but this only caused Muraki to smirk slightly, the only real inclination he had given thus far of being up to anything naughty. Then the abnormally pale man proceeded to bring the banana up to his lips and lick it. That's right he LICKED it.

Tzusuki stared at the innocent yet seductive act with his mouth hanging open slightly, the inside dry. He was half bewildered and half frustrated. Why couldn't his stalker just eat like a normal person, it was the wine glass scene all over again because no one really needs to caress the stem of a wine glass that agonizingly slow nor did anyone really need to lick a banana before eating it.

Back to Muraki's banana eating, he had now finished lacing his tongue around the tip of the banana and was now fitting his lips around the head of it, he then proceeded to bite down on his softly. The shinigami glared and squirmed in his seat. He tried, one last time, to divert his thoughts which were heading in a direction he never wanted them to go by taking a bite of scrumptious dark chocolate brownie with fudge that had gone lukewarm and a bit or nearly melted vanilla ice-cream, however not even the delectable taste could satisfy the new and bizarre craving that made Tzusuki's mouth water, all he could do now was watch, watch as the banana disappeared, inch by inch into Muraki's mouth. This, Tzusuki kept trying to tell himself, was completely wrong and utterly perverse and while he may be right he just couldn't stop watching.

Finally Muraki had swallowed the whole length and Tzusuki's body relaxed now that he was released from that sick yet creative form of torture.

"Forgive me that I did not bring you roses," Muraki said as his delicately wiped his fingers with a napkin. "Next time, though, i shall shower you with dozens of scarlet roses. Now, however, I regret to say that I must bid you a heartfelt adieu Mr. Tzusuki. I have an appointment to keep and i would hate for a little girl to die because I was pre-occupied, you understand, yes? Until next time Mr. Tzusuki." Muraki then got up and left, paying the bill on his way out.

As Tzusuki sat there a disturbing realization hit him, not only did he feel violated in ways to derogatory too mention and have a humiliating problem to deal with, the cause of both of these things occurred with Muraki not touching him once as they had eaten their treats. The shinigami looked down at his now unappealing brownie sundae and sighed, Muraki was truly the master of debauchery.

A/N: This has to be my favorite fanfic that I've ever written, seriously, and what makes me laugh even more is that as I wrote it my teacher thought I was writing a note and tried to read it. Of course I offered to let him, but I think it was my smile that tipped him off to pass on my offer. Anywho please review!