I was such a monster for this; my beauty was hypnotizing to them. It didn't mean I liked what I was, what I am and forever will be.
Victims. The word spun out from my brain and the thoughts didn't ease like Carlisle told me they would. Every newly turned vampire has their first, the blood doesn't satisfy you, and nothing can sustain your lust at the beginning stage. When you take out your first one, feel the blood under your nails; see the blood all around you you realize that a sort of frenzy has began it is nearly impossible to stop. I did though, but not without great difficulty.
It was a cold, wet rainy day I had been a monster for almost a week now. I killed many people; so many the numbers were hard to know. When it was happening I didn't feel anything, not even guilt for taking away a child's life, or a husband's beloved soul mate. But looking back I regret. I was walking down the grey pavement street trying to blend in with what I used to be. A luscious smell filled my nostrils, I tried to withstand it but I couldn't. Following the smell I turned down the alley, there a young girl about the age of eleven was bleeding like a river.
I turned my head, ignoring the sights my demon wanted to see. It was a battle against my demon, and the remaining human inside of me. The demon overpowered and I found myself flying at the girl, ready to take yet another life. Blood was gushing down her arm, thick and dark. I heard her heartbeat in my head like a hammer pounding violently against cloth, it was growing more rapid the hungrier I got.
The girl was pale, the same complexion as me, she wasn't a vampire though. I couldn't help but feel lust in this girl. For some reason I felt that I would one day know her, not like her but someone I knew would. In order to not hurt that person, I would restrain from killing her in my future.
I looked away, standing up holding my demon down, I was able to restrain but I didn't feel that the demon could. My shoes clicked as I walked down the alley street. Dark was falling around me and I knew that I had made a choice that would make someone very content with me. I could even feel them, their happiness dancing in the wind. Curiosity took me over though, wanting to know how I would know this human and not hurt someone whom would love that. Restraint was obviously possible but it had to be someone I would really care about in my future. I pressed on not knowing where life would take me, but I was a stone rock I could face anything now, having restrained myself once.
That was the day that I had given up my demon, by letting Isabella Swan live.
