Title: "The Joke King"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R for sexual references
Summary: Queen Cinderella's disappointment over Captain Jack Sparrow's failure to pay homeage to her leads to a discussion and laughter with her best friends, Jacques and Gus.
Warnings: Disney World (ie. all Disney characters live in one universe), Slash, Het, Femme Slash, Charming Bashing
Word Count (excluding heading): 432
Challenge: Turner's Quickie Disney style for 7-4-10
Disclaimer: Queen Cinderella, Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, Prince Charming, Jacques, Gus, Cinderella, and the Pirates of the Caribbean are & TM Disney, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

The Queen's blue eyes watched the Pirate's moves filled with grace, sexuality, and stealth as he made his way across the dance floor. She breathed softly, ruffling the lace of her fan, as he sidestepped another group of women and continued toward her throne. There were surely some benefits to being Queen still after all these years, she thought as he approached.

Then the crowd parted, and the proud Pirate Captain changed his pace. His hand reached out, and another young man, whose name Cinderella knew to be Will Turner, slid his hand into his. Cinderella sighed as they began to dance and she realized that she had never been at the top of Captain Jack Sparrow's dance card. "Why do they always have to be gay?" she demanded in a whisper, stomping her slippered foot underneath her glittering gown.

Her best friends looked up at her and squeaked in surprise. "I thought Cindyrella liked gays?"

"Oh, Jacques, darling, not you two," Cinderella assured them as she carefully patted the tiny, furry heads of Jacques and his partner, Gus. Gus giggled, but Jacques remained serious as he watched Cinderella through concerned eyes.

"Then what, Cindyrella? Cindyrella not happy any more?"

"Oh, no, Jacques, I'm very happy. It's just . . . " She sighed again. "I wish that just once I could have some one more exciting to share my bed chamber with."

"More exciting?" Jacques repeated in his tinny, squeaky voice. "I thought Cindyrella loved Prince Charming! And what about all the women friends Cindyrella been having over?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Cinderella replied. "I do enjoy all their companionships, but some nights a girl just wants a man."

Jacques looked to where Prince Charming was returning to the dance from having excused himself to the royal lavatory. "There comes Charming now."

Cinderella sighed. "Yes, here comes my husband," she rolled her eyes as she concluded with emphasis, "the stick in the mud."

Gus laughed so hard that he fell down. He rolled upon the arm of the throne as he continued to laugh. He held his gut in his small arms and wept as he laughed. Slowly Cinderella and Jacques began to giggle, as well, until they, too, were bursting out with laughter.

They tried to quiet as Charming came closer but were not in time. "What's so funny?" he asked when he reached them.

"Oh, nothing, dear, nothing," Cinderella replied with a sweet smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Even as Queen, she would never dare to tell her husband that he was the joke!

The End