"Umm, hi, Robin?"

"Zatanna?" asks the Boy Wonder, surprised but not in the least displeased. "What's up?"

"Well, a fight, actually. I was wondering if you guys could maybe come out here..."

He's suddenly all business. "What happened?"

"A crazy assassin came out of nowhere- I didn't even see him until Artemis knocked me out of the way. Then she tried to shoot him, but he ran toward her, caught the arrow in midair, and stabbed her in the arm with it-"

Wally inhales sharply next to him and Robin barks, "How badly?"

"Actually, I think it pissed her off more than anything." Zatanna sounds impressed, and Wally emanates a strained, harsh chuckle. "She bodyslammed him to the ground, I'm still not sure how, and tried to smack him in the head with her bow but he caught it and-"

BOOM.

"What was that?"

"That's the other reason I called." Zatanna continues hurriedly. "I'm pretty sure they're either going to kill each other or destroy the city- I mean, Artemis shot at him and accidentally collapsed a telephone pole, and somehow he managed to channel the electricity from it, which pissed her off even more. And listen-"

She holds the earbud out, and they can hear crashing sounds, male laughter, and Artemis screeching bloody murder.

"-going to rip your intestines out through your nose, Billy, you jackass!"

The guy laughs. "Jealous, Artemis? You know, your dad might actually forgive you if you crawled back and begged-"

There is a scream of shrill, absolute rage that threatens to burst the poor little comms, and Robin and Kid Flash lean back, wincing. Artemis is past the point of coherent insults, and now simply growls loudly enough to be heard through the earpieces.

"At this rate there won't be anything left by the time they're done. I evacuated the area- well, actually, most of the people evacuated themselves- but, umm, Artemis is kinda scaring me a little right now."

"We're on our way." Robin reassures her, and when he turns around the rest of the team is ready to go.


A/N: I apologize for nothing. Failsafe and Disordered were both good episodes- or at least, the therapy parts of Disordered, if I wanted to see mecha I'd watch some anime- but the heaviness put me in the mood for some crack. And really, what's more cracktastic than Hulk!ish Artemis? I just hope the episode will let her kick a little ass and expound on her history a little bit.

Also, here, I'm going off the premise that Artemis and Harm know each other through the assassin underworld and their parents, and that Harm made a deal with the devil, so to speak, to get some powers. Like I said... crack. XD