One day there was a turtle who always liked lions, but there were no lion where he came from so he set out to find a lion. 10 years later he managed to swim across the ocean to safari land. There he met many lions who were very rude, eventually he found a polite lion and they went at it hard to make a baby. The lion ended up with quadruplets (4) and they came out all lion turtley. The 4 lion turtles were very strong and killed every living creature like bosses. They divided the world into 4 tribes. The 4 tribes all lived in different climates. Eventually the lion turtles got super badass powers, fire, air, water and earth. They were super cool and sat in their respected tribes watching anime, reading manga and eating Pocky. Over time living creatures reappeared and tried to befriend the lion turtles. It having been 1000s of years unthreatened the lion turtles were too big and couldn't play with the other animals, so they just kept being badasses. The spirits never died, but they were too douchey to talk to the lion turtles so no one gave a rat's ass about them. Eventually people came and the lion turtles gave them powers because why the hell not. The humans somehow created some hard core shit and made the lion turtles all small and less liony. Remember the rat that had the ass that no cared about? Well his name is splinter and he lives in New York with the 4 now not lion turtles that call themselves Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo. That is the story of the horny turtle that craved lion pussy.
