Murder on the Dancefloor by French Affair

Hi! This is my second story, and this one is a funny one. I hope and pray. Anyway, laugh, cry, sing, dance, do whatever while you're reading it. Just read it, for losh sakes! I don't own Kingdom Hearts, any FF characters, or Sophie Ellis-Bextor, or Murder on the Dancefloor.

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In the beginning, there was Cloud. Nothing but Cloud, his head and an enormous parquet dancefloor within. Many believed Cloud started the dancing phenomenon, others believed he started the parquet floor phenomenon. In fact, he started both. His left peanut and right peanut...sorry...left brain lobe and right brain lobe started moving rhythmically to Cloud's snoring. This formed the basis for what we call today, dancing.

*cheers go out in the audience*

That's why we're here today, for the 159th Cloud Strife Dance Contest! Courtesy of Wild Woman Records and Bophie Sllis-Eextor, and her hit song, Durder Tn Ohe Mancefloor! Contestants, take your places!

*Kuja, Beatrix and Kairi take their places, as duly instructed. Kairi professionally stretches, Beatrix fluffs her hair and Kuja pees on the field like in that Mastercard picture*

On your marks...get set...*music starts* DANCE!

*kairi trips up a few times, eliciting overly hysterical laughter from Tifa, Beatrix pro-dances and Kuja pees on the field like in that Mastercard picture*

Thank you, come again! *grabs Kairi and Beatrix and throws them into the Mud pit, where they instantly start mud-wrestling and all the guys lose attention, and so do a lot of women*

*Kuja cackles while he keeps on peeing*

*the dancefloor starts to sag*

BEATRIX: It's gonna blow! *runs out screaming and leaving dirty great mudprints on the floor*

KUJA: *continues*

KAIRI: Nyoooo...*drowns in mud, which is surprisingly hard to actually do*

*drags Kuja away to be decontaminated*

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Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster coming soon!
ULTIMECIA: He means Chapter 2...