A/N OK, so I really need a Mike right now (Linneagb, we really need to sort out getting foldable Mikes XD), and everyone seems to hate me, and to be honest I'd rather write than go to sleep. Oh, and in the car I was listening to 'Baby Goodbye' by Friday Hill, and it describes the Tracy/ Mike goodbye scene perfectly (well, OK, there are a few bits that aren't right, but with the music and everything as well that's the first thing I thought of and now I think of that every time it comes on). And as I may or may not have said before (I think I actually told my friend this but I haven't told people here) when I'm feeling a bit rubbish and no one seems to like me anymore I imagine myself as Tracy, and then I write something Tracy/ Mike so I can have Mike comforting me. (You should try it, it really works.) Anyway, I'll shut up now, hope you enjoy it. :-)
Tracy POV
I silently opened the door to Elm Tree House. It was the middle of the night, but I needed to be here.
Because there was someone I needed to see.
I silently closed the door, and then held my breath as I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
They were small, quiet footsteps.
Not what I was hoping for.
"Tracy?" whispered a voice. "What are you doing here?"
It was Carmen.
"I, um, I just forgot my washbag," I said, making something up on the spot. "I just came to get it."
I could feel tears coming to my eyes, but I hoped Carmen wouldn't notice.
And she didn't.
"Oh, OK," she said. She gave me a smile before heading towards the kitchen, whilst I headed up the stairs.
I didn't go to the bathroom though.
I went to the staff bedroom.
And then I started to cry.
The bed was empty, and as the tears began to roll down my cheeks I sat down on the edge of the bed, wishing I wasn't alone.
And then the light turned on.
And the person I had wanted to see was standing there.
Mike.
"Tracy?" he said, sounding slightly shocked. "What are you doing here?"
I sniffled. "I needed to talk to you."
Mike looked at his clock. "At 1:00 in the morning?"
I gave a small nod.
Mike sat down next to me on the bed, and I rested my head on him.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
I gave a small sigh. "It's just, well..." I trailed off, before looking up at Mike. "Cam hates me."
"What?" said Mike, a look of confusion coming to his face. "No, of course she doesn't." He paused. "What makes you think that?"
I took a deep breath. "When I got home tonight, like, as soon as I opened the door, she just started shouting at me."
I relaxed slightly as Mike put his arm around me.
"And I hadn't even done anything wrong, and it was just horrible," I said.
"Did she say that you'd done anything wrong?" asked Mike.
I gave a small nod.
"What?" asked Mike.
"She said that apparently I shouted at her this morning, and that I should be more respectful towards her," I said. I paused. "But I didn't shout at her."
"Did you have some sort of argument?" asked Mike.
I shook my head.
Mike paused for a moment, before speaking again. "So what happened this evening, after she'd said about you shouting at her?"
"Well, I just tried to avoid her, but at dinner time she was just moaning at me constantly, and she wouldn't stop..." I took a shaky inhale. "And then we had a massive argument, and... Yeah."
Mike POV
I noticed that pause. She's hiding something.
I looked in her eyes, and I could see the pain she was going through.
"What happened then?" I asked.
She shook herself. "Oh, nothing much, just..." She trailed off, a tear rolling down her cheek, before she realised she was beaten. "I, um, I..."
She trailed off again, looking up at me.
"What happened, Trace?" I asked gently. I pulled her close and hugged her, hoping it would make her feel better.
"If I tell you, you promise not to tell anyone else," she said. "It was scary enough as it is." She looked at me pleadingly. "Please, Mike."
I gave her a small smile. "Of course I won't tell anybody if you don't want me to." I paused. "What happened?"
She gave a small shake of her head, and I could feel her shaking. What on earth had happened?
"Trace?" I said gently. "Come on, you have to tell me what it is. I won't tell anyone."
"It was a, I had a, a, p-p-p, p-p-pa..." she stuttered.
I interrupted, seeing the pain it was causing her, and because, due to doing this job so long, I knew what she was trying to say.
However, I'd never had it affect anyone this badly before.
"You had a panic attack?" I asked gently, keeping my voice soft and calm, trying not to scare her.
She gave a small nod. "I'm sorry, I don't know why, I just can't say it, I..."
"It's OK," I said, interrupting her so I could talk. "I understand." I paused. "They're scary, aren't they?"
She gave a small nod.
"Was it because of the argument with Cam?" I asked.
She nodded again.
"Have you told her?" I asked.
I felt bad for asking all these questions, but I needed the answers. The more I knew, the more I could help her.
And if there was one thing I wanted to do it was help her.
Because she needed me.
Tracy POV
I shook my head, looking up at Mike, my eyes full of fear.
"I think you should," said Mike.
I felt the panic building up inside me. No, I couldn't tell Cam, she'd be so angry, she'd...
"Tracy?" said Mike, interrupting my thoughts. "What's wrong?"
"Cam, she'll be really angry, and..." I began, but Mike cut me off.
"She won't be angry," Mike interrupted quickly. "She loves you. And she would never be angry with you for what happened."
"Are you sure?" I asked, looking Mike in the eye.
Mike smiled. "Of course I'm sure." He paused to hug me close as I rested my head on his chest. "I know Cam, not as well as you, but I know her, and she loves you more than anything in the world. She may seem like she hates you at the moment, but in reality she's just trying to do the best for you." He paused again. "And if you tell her what happened, how she made you feel, she will never, ever be angry at you. Not for telling her when something's wrong, even if she helped cause it."
"I suppose so," I said. I looked up and gave Mike a small smile. "I'll tell her in the morning."
Mike smiled back. "Good idea."
But then I thought of something, and I looked at Mike with a scared expression on my face. "But what if I can't tell her?"
"What do you mean?" asked Mike.
"What if I can't say it?" I asked anxiously. "Then what do I do?"
"You could write it down?" suggested Mike. "That usually works."
I gave a smile: I hadn't thought of that. "Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks, Mike."
Mike gave me a smile back. "No problem." He then looked at his clock: 1:30. "Would you like to stay here tonight? It's late."
I gave a small nod.
"Come on, then," said Mike. He began to get up, and I panicked.
"No, Mike, wait!" I said.
"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting back down and letting me relax.
I felt tears come to my eyes, and I looked up at Mike, silently pleading with him to let me stay with him for just a bit longer.
Mike said nothing, before he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me as I began to cry.
"Shh," he said, trying to soothe me. "It's alright, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."
I relaxed, letting out all my fear and hurt, knowing Mike would keep me safe.
Mike POV
It broke my heart when Tracy started to cry. Of course, I'd seen her cry loads of times, but it never got any less painful. Whenever she cried, when anyone close to me cried, all I wanted to do was take it off them, stop them from suffering.
But I couldn't.
And that was the hard bit.
I wanted to scream at whatever had hurt them, and make sure it never hurt them again.
But I couldn't.
Because I had to be there for them.
I relaxed as Tracy cried in my arms. That was the best thing to do, I'd learnt. To relax, but still hold them tight. And it made them feel a whole lot better.
I could feel Tracy weakening, her sobs getting quieter. My heart went out to her then: she must be absolutely exhausted, physically and emotionally.
No wonder she'd wanted me to stay with her.
As she stopped crying I stayed there with her, my arms around her, showing I wasn't going to leave her until she was ready for me to.
Given how she was feeling, and how much she'd just cried, it was the least I could do.
Tracy POV
After I'd stopped crying I sat there for a bit, before I looked up at Mike.
He gave me a smile. "You OK?"
I gave a small nod. "Yeah."
"Do you want to stay in the other staff bedroom?" asked Mike. "You've got your stuff in there, haven't you?"
I nodded again.
"You want to go now?" he asked.
I gave a third nod.
"Come on, then," said Mike. He helped me up, before we went to the other staff bedroom together.
"Right, well, I'll leave you to it," he said once we were in there. He went to go out of the door, but then turned back. "If you need me during the night, you know where I am, yeah?"
I gave a small smile. "Yeah, I do." He went to leave again before I remembered something. "Mike?"
"Yes?" he said, turning around again.
"Thanks," I said. I gave him another smile and he gave me one back.
"It's my job, Trace," he said. "Well, goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."
"Night," I said back, before he went out and closed the door behind him.
And then, as I sat on the bed, I realised something.
He'd said it was his job to look after me.
But it was his job to look after the kids, not me.
He did it because, well...
Tonight, he'd made me realise that Cam still loved me, even if we did fight occasionally.
And so I had realised something else.
He loved me too.
A/N Hope you liked it. Thankfully things are going a lot better than they were earlier, and I don't think everyone hates me anymore. :-) Please review! :-D
