Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto. Also, this is a bunch of random story ideas, don't know if I will make full stories given the record. Here is a Neuro/Naruto crossover based on MrWriterWriter's challenge.


"Help! He took my purse!"

The orange thief grinned as he darted down the streets. By the time he turned the corner, not even the ANBU would find-

He soon found himself on the ground, groaning in pain as shinobi piled up on him. No, he thought. He remembered bumping into someone's shoulder one minute, then he was on the ground. And even then, he felt that he had slammed into three or four stalls before going face down.

As the chunnins took the thief away, Naruto looked back at the scene, having already left the lady's purse with a genin who stood with awe. "I guess they did have a point about that color."

And just as no one saw him come, no one saw him leave. He preferred it that way.


"NARUTO UZUMAKI!"


"STOP FOOLING AROUND!"


"YOU FAIL!"


"I know another way to become a genin..."


Naruto Uzumaki. That was the name of the kid who failed the genin exams three times. A kid who couldn't make one simple clone. A kid who was last in his class and played the class clown. A kid who stood out in orange brighter than a lightbulb. A kid who has been friendless, ignored by even the most charitable of people. A kid who infiltrated the Hokage's domain, knocked out the old ruler himself, and stole an important scroll without alerting any of the ninjas.

And currently...

"Oh, come on!"

Naruto looked irritated at the sight of a hundred clones. These clones might be solid and many, but they looked too much like the normal illusive variety. Or in Naruto's terms, crap.

Currently, he was thinking to himself. Kage Bunshin sounded nice even though it was related to the Bunshin he failed many times. But hey, if a Hokage has a Bunshin named after them, then it would put him one step closer to becoming an Hokage himself. At this rate, it'll probably take the whole night to master this (hopefully), but the problem was he didn't know when the test would end, and all he had to do was to repeat the handseals again, right? So no one could fault Naruto for looking into the Forbidden Scroll he "stole" earlier that night.

"Let's see then...Jutsus, jutsus, jutsus...Woah, this jutsu is cool! This jutsu will take four...HUH! That's too long!"

Naruto slammed the scroll down, enticing it to unroll further. Knowing that was probably not a good idea, Naruto followed the other end of the scroll, right until he saw that the scroll stopped becoming about jutsus and more about something else.

"What's this?" Naruto marvelled as he traced his fingers among the new seals. What Naruto didn't know was that he just uncovered the Forbidden Scroll's selection of sealed items. Many of these seals were inked in such a way that it wouldn't be possible to identify the contents, and the ones that weren't traps would either require a lot of chakra signatures or some very rare ones. In fact, there was one seal that would only react to a wind-nature male Uzumaki who didn't have red hair and had half of a certain Bijuu's chakra.

In that seal master's defense, male Uzumakis didn't become containers back in those times.


Naruto jumped away as smoke rose out from one of the seals. When the smoke cleared away, the first thing he saw was a blue suit on a man. The man was tall and lanky, his hair was white, and he looked very pale. Come to think of it, those clothes of his were much lighter than a ghost and there were cracks like dried sand that shouldn't be on a man. If it weren't for his state, Naruto thought this man could have been very rich.

He slowly leaned near the man. Was he dead? No, rats smelled when they died. He decided to see if poking him was a good idea. And then the man grabbed him by the wrist. Not a good idea.

"...feels familiar." Naruto saw his face now that he was this close. There was more paleness and cracks on him, but as he looked into his eyes, Naruto felt very afraid. Despite that man's state, the man's eyes promised horrible chaos, and his shark-like sharp-teeth grin didn't make him any more friendly (if that was what he wanted).

"How interesting...Did Juubi have a child, or did something happen? This is such a..." The man hacked, and Naruto pulled himself away. He did keep note of what the man said, though he was pretty sure there was no such thing as a Juubi.

"Wh-who are you?"

The man looked up to him and chuckled. "I? Someone who's about to die soon. But who are you, child?"

"Uh?" Naruto then stood up straight. "Right, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm gonna become Hokage! Believe it!"

"No, really, who are you?" The man didn't even bother to let Naruto start his rant. "I see. It's quite sad a puzzle such as you exists and not even you are curious to solve a fraction of it."

"What are you talking about?" Why was Naruto still talking to this guy? "What do you mean I'm a puzzle?"

The man said nothing at first, but then his grin became even wider. "How about a compromise? An agreement both of us can agree to?"

"...Go on."

"I won't live long, not with the way this world thinks. I never even got to bid the maggots farewell." The man pulled out a tool that looked like a small black hole. "I will die devouring one last puzzle, and with it, my essence will be scattered. But to get this puzzle, I must go into you, and all that is me will be sated in your blood. You will gain my strength and my wits, and I will lose my hunger. And no, I'm not eating your flesh, I'm eating the puzzle that has moulded you into what you are."

Naruto calmed down. So glad he didn't release a cannibal, but what was it about a puzzle moulding him? Was it something that made the others ignore him? Overcharge him? Beat him? He slowly raised his head-

The man slammed the black hole into Naruto's guts, and he was drawn into it. As Naruto fell, clutching his head, he thought, 'Did Mizuki trick me?'