Notes: Written in one sitting and inspired by last night's episode and Alec and Underhill's conversations because I have no shame. I even made up a name for him as the show hasn't provided one yet.


Alec only realises that he's headed for his office instead of his bedroom when he ends up inside. It's all fuelled by the vague memory that there's something for him to do... something about the cameras? Someone needs to restart their systems before the night shift starts and usually that's a job for the Head of Security, but Alec had given him the night off because— why had he given him the night off, actually? At the exact same time when he wouldn't be around either? There had been a point to it, Alec's sure of it, but it's difficult to remember what it had been now – his head is a mess and there's so much going on that he can't be bothered to rationalise his previous decisions to himself. Especially not when it'd be much more productive to get to work.

He turns on the lights by muscle memory and little else and tries to make himself comfortable in his chair, staring sightlessly at the computer screen as it lights up. He needs to get this done and then he can go to sleep.

Which is definitely what he's going to do, he tries to convince himself as a thousand other things that need his attention make themselves known once he starts really thinking about it. It's not like he can solve any of it when he's in this state. His pride is still a little wounded by the fact that he'd let himself be escorted through the backdoor so that he wouldn't have to face his family again and while the thought had been sobering, he's not actually sober. Owning up to it in front of more than one person would have been infinitely worse.

Speak of the devil—

"I can handle it," he says with a wave of the hand once he sees the already familiar silhouette at the door of his office after two consecutive knocks. "It's not that complicated."

"Sir—"

"It's Alec." He's so tired. All day it had been Sir this and Sir that and it's an unreasonable thing to be irritated about, but what's the point of trying to be rational either way? He hadn't slept well and it had been a long day and to top it off, he'd drank too much too. What does it matter at this point? "You can call me Alec."

That gets him an unexpected grin in response and apparently Underhill takes it as an invitation to take the seat on the other side of his desk. "Only if you call me John."

Right. Another Jonathan. Alec had been vaguely aware of that when he'd sorted through the paperwork needed to promote him to Head of Security, but he finds it irrationally funny now in a way that isn't actually amusing at all. It's strange, being so caught up in his own emotions, but Alec can't help it. Everything from the last few days – Jace's strange behaviour even now after his visit to the City of Bones, Isabelle and her mundane, Magnus and the glaring lack of solution that gapes between them – feels like it's piled up on his shoulders and it's getting more and more difficult to juggle it all at the same time.

"Works for me. John." He manages a smile and then gets up from his chair, finally giving up the ghost of getting anything more done tonight. "Be my guest."

They switch places and Underhill gets to work with more focus than Alec had expected him to be able to muster this late into the evening. There had been a reason he'd given the position to him in particular – he'd been described as hard working and dedicated and he had been one of the first people who hadn't constantly tried to question Alec at every step when he'd officially taken over, so he'd seemed as a good choice. During the last few days, it'd been heading more for him being a perfect choice in almost every department. Of course, Alec reminds himself, he'd made that mistake before, but. This is different. It can be. It has to be.

"You don't need to stay up," he says, as if aware that Alec is ready to pass out on his own desk. Is it really that obvious? It's hard to say at this point, and Alec's almost glad: the less aware he is of his own situation right now, the better. "I can sort this out."

"No, it's fine." Just as he he's about to add something else, Alec's phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out. Clary; three text and seven missed calls. With a sigh, he opens the first message. I need to talk to you, quickly followed by, As soon as you can. It's urgent and then, two minutes later, Alec, please.

Alec narrows his eyes at the screen. This isn't exactly typical for her. On a normal day, Clary's texts sent to anyone personally are so full of abbreviations and jargon that they're nearly unreadable. It's not a normal day, apparently, and the realisation that there's something going severely wrong yet again makes his blood freeze. What is it this time? And who? He'd left them all back at the Hunter's Moon and had gone home and it had been stupid, so stupid to forget that he's still responsible for everyone.

"Are you done?" he asks and gets a nod in return. "You can input the first mission for tonight. I'm going out."

"I'm coming with you." Underhill (John) is already taking his jacket and suddenly Alec remembers why he'd given him the night to himself. He'd known that they would end up at the same place anyway – the Hunter's Moon is one of the most popular spots for Shadowhunters on a break and it had been comforting to think that it wouldn't be just him and his family there. It's equally comforting now for reasons he can't quite explain.

"You do know that you're supposed to take care of the Institute's security, not mine, right?"

He hadn't meant it to come off as teasing, but judging by the reaction he receives, he's failed miserably.

"Of course." It doesn't seem to matter. "You just need to fill me in on the details."

"I need to fill myself in on the details." As much as it pains him to do so. Bracing himself for the worst, Alec presses call.