So, I may have unintentionally (ok... completely intentionally) thrown my best friend into the dark abyss that is the Dragon Age fandom (no regrets!) and we started throwing out ideas for an AU, using our favorite love interests as guinea pigs for our insane ramblings. We thought about what the characters would be like in a University setting, (we have too much time on our hands) and this is what our sick little minds came up with.
If you're reading this Ash, yes, I told you I'd publish it, haha. Please don't hurt me. And also, I'm extremly proud of you btw for your results and college. You're my hero! :) (maybe now she won't hurt me as much...) Also, coffee beats tea! :P
Surviving Skyhold University
Chapter One, My Thingy's Bigger Than Your Thingy!
You have the average tales about University and High School and the like. Boy meets girl, some really bothersome events happen in rapid succession, they kiss, the end. Then you have the crazy, mildly drug induced clusterfuck that is Skyhold University. I mean, seriously, even the writer has know idea what's going on here.
The unusual friendship of Lyra Lavellan and Josephine Montiyet plays a large part in this drunken tango. The two young women, from vastly different backgrounds, were both alluring in their own right. But as the saying goes, never judge a book by it's cover, because there might be a whole lot of crazy hidden in there, just waiting to burst out and kick you in the face.
Well then, on to the story.
The sudden light flashing on her eyes from the window, the sounds of seemingly every vehicle on her block honking their horns in a 'get out of the way asshole' Morse code did nothing for Lyra's hangover.
"Lyra. Get up." Josephine growled, dumping a glass of ice on her bare shoulders.
The young woman sqeaked and then groaned a disgruntled reply throwing a shoe in the direction of her antagonist, whom expertly dodged it while rolling her eyes.
"How much did you drink last night?" Josipine asked, looking at the empty cans and bottles of alcohol littering the ground, mattress and small appartment balcony that connected to the tiny room.
"Enough to kill a small elefant." Lyra mumbled into her pillow.
"Dear me. Did you disturb those poor pigeons on the balcony again?" Josephine asked, making her way out to the sliding door and out to the balcony, picking up the few bottles and cans, looking up to see a cluster of pigeons staring at her from the railing.
Two of the flock coo'd and flapped their wings at the familiar human.
"Good morning George, Henry, Peter, Geoffe..." Josephine continued greeting the gormless and fidgeting feathered creatures, breaking off a piece of a baguette from her grocery bag and giggle when they all shot over to the crumbs and gobbled them with haste.
Lyra peeked out from under the duvet, wincing at the mixture of hangover headache and bright morning lights.
"I still can't believe you named them all..." Lyra sighed, slowly sitting up.
"You know I have a soft spot for cute and dimwitted animals. It's why I love you so much." Josephine smirked.
"That why you haven't kicked me out yet?" Lyra chuckled.
"No, I just can't seem to get rid of you. You're lik a boomarang, I throw you out on your ass you come flying back and hit me in the face." Josephine jabbed playfully.
"You know you'd be lost without me. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Lyra replied, holding her head as the throbbing began.
Josephine huffed and pulled out a bottle of water and some painkillers from her hand bag.
"I think it's more 'you would be lost without me', no?" She drawlled, handing them to Lyra who accepted them gratefully.
The morning was quiet in their inner city neighbourhood. The two had both lived a sheltered life in the countryside in their youth. Josephine the daughter of a very well to do family in the business of oil and trades while Lyra, a young girl with a small family consisting of a forever child mother and wayward younger brother whom never took anything seriously. They owned a small bakery in their small village, which is ultimately where the two girls met. They bonded over their loves of sweets, literature and all things cute and crazy.
"So, heard about Blackwall and Bull chasing you all around the party. Tell me, did you make a daring escape? Jump out a window? Hire a get-away vehicle? Ooohh! Do tell!" Lyra prodded her friend jokingly.
Josephine flopped back on the bed with a huff, laying her head on Lyra's legs.
"After a solid two hours of them pushing and shoving each other out of the way to get to me, shouting insults at one and other and breaking three vases, I, in a very lady like fashion, smiled politely, said I had some other business to attend to and procceeded to run away screaming. I'm not sure they took the hint though..." Josephine sighed, rubbing her temples.
Lyra cackled madly at her side, patting Josephine's leg.
"It's Bull and Blackwall, you could tell them you wanted to jump into an active volcano and they'd start fighting over who got to go in with you." Lyra wheezed, wiping the mirth from her eyes.
"Ugh. Don't remind me. And don't think I didn't notice the ever bashful Cullen attempting to woo you in your drunken stupor while your bald art's and history professor tried to tell you about the wonders of Rennaiccance art and buy you drinks. Honestly, you attract the most unusual of suitors." Josephine speculated.
"Me? Unusual suitors. Says the lady being stalked by some bearded agricultural and carpenting major and a giant body builder who wears a baseball cap with horns on either side." Lyra shot back at her Antivan friend, ginning as she saw Josephine's cheeks flare red.
Her silver eyes narrowed at her friend's jab at her unusual love life.
"So, what's on the agenda for today my little Antivian flower?" Lyra yawned, scratching her bed head and then streatching her arms up over her head, enjoying the small pop her stiff sleep-weighted shoulders gave.
"Well, it just so happens that it is 12:36am." Josephine grinned her cheshire cat grin.
"So?" Lyra replied.
"And it also seems to be Wednsday today." Josephine reminded.
"What in the Andraste's name are you talking abou-... Wait. 12:36am. Wednsday. 12:36am... Wednsday... Oh shit! History lecture with the bald proffessor!" Lyra screeched as she all but threw off her blanket and rushed to get dressed.
Josephine sighed and left to make them a quick cup of tea, making her way into her friends miniscule kitchen-living room area. As she boiled the kettle she heard the string of curses and crashes and bangs of her little Lyra's attempt at hurrying to get ready.
"Maker, that girl." Josephine chuckled.
"... which is ultimately why Giotto di Bondone was called the father of modern art. Any questions?" Solas asked
"Yeah, why's Lavellan crawlin' to 'er seat?" Sera laughed, pointing to the women attempting to be descreet.
Lyra shot Sera a menacing look, to which Sera stuck out her tongue.
"Appologies Professor Solas." Lyra grumbled, taking her seat.
Solas gave her a sideways smirk and nodded, continuing on with the lesson.
"Late again, Lyra?" Cullen whispered from the seat next to her.
"Yup, good thing I've got Josie to wake my lazy ass up. Gotta make it up to her later..." Lyra said, taking down notes of what Solas was saying.
"So, no classes again tomorrow..." Cullen began.
Lyra inwardly groaned. This is almost every conversation they've had since the start of college. She and Cullen had gone to the same grade school, middle school and high school. Both living in the same rundown small town you wouldn't even see on a map. (AN: unless you bought a damned DLC...) They were neighbors, Lyra remembered having spent more time with Cullen's two sisters Mia and Rosalie rather than Cullen or his youger brother Bandson. But Cullen seemed to always follow her wherever she went, always playing along with her hairbrained scemes. But whenever it came to standing up for himself or her in their youth, he seemed to always back down and allow others to walk all over them.
Lyra wanted someone willing to stand up for not only her, but for themselves.
"Yup, no classes tomorrow, thank the Maker." Lyra answered, looking forward to where Solas was showing slides on the large screen above him.
"So... Are you busy tomorrow?" Cullen stammered, running a hand nervously through his blonde locks, scribbling notes dow on his writing pad with his free hand.
"Define, 'busy'." Lyra chuckled.
"There's a good bar not too far from the usual-."
"Cullen, can you tell me five innovations by Giotto?" Solas asked, his back turned from the group of students, but a horrible dark aura of jealousy surrounding the middle aged man.
"It's... ah..." Cullen whimpered in defeat.
"Well then, you should be paying attention to what I've teaching. Yes?" Solas answered turning to Cullen, glaring.
The two has a small stare off durning the class. Lyra could swear some Mexican Stand-off music was playing in the background.
"Later then?" Lyra asked, silently praying for both men to cease the stare off quickly.
Cullen nodded silently and both returned to their work and Solas to his teaching.
"I'm home mom." Lyra said, walking though the door.
"Stop calling me 'mom'." Josephine sighed, turning the page of her 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' novel.
"Stop acting like it then." Lyra answered, skillfully side-stepping the object hurtled at her head. "A cushion? You do care." Lyra laughed.
"There weren't any sharp objects on hand." Josephine quipped, innocently sipping her earl grey.
"Whatever happened to 'niceness before knives?'"
"I met you, you damned bad influence!" Josephine called after Lyra as she left for the balcony with a pack of cigarettes.
Striking a match, she lit up her cigarette, inhaling deeply and sitting on the railing of the tiny balcony. Josephine appeared though the billowing white cutains with two cups of tea.
"Class was alright?" Josephine asked.
"Pretty good. Just, ah... Solas and Cullen..." Lyra sighed.
"Hm. What happened this time?" Josephine asked.
"The same old, 'my thingy is bigger than your thingy', vying for the girl's affections bull-crap." Lyra said, taking another drag of her cigarette.
"Oh goodness." Josephine chuckled, leaning next to her long time friend.
The sat their, Lyra finishing her first cigarette, then lighting up another as Josephine went in to make them some more tea.
"Coffee, woman!" Lyra called.
"You already have one addiction! You don't need coffee!" Josephine answered.
Lyra grumbled at her friend, looking down at her cigarette.
"It's not an addiction, i can stop anytime I want... Maybe tomorrow."
Lyra's phone buzzed, looking down at the phone, a picture of another good friend came up on the screen while the song 'I'm on a Boat' came on as the ringtone.
"What's Sera calling for?" Lyra questioned, quickly answering.
"There's a carnival in town tomorrow and we are friggen going!" Sera screamed over the phone.
"Wha-."
"Cassandr-ass, Bor-ian," - "I'm not boring, I radiate a sophiticated charm!" Dorian's voice was heard in the background. -"and Lady Vivenne the She Devil are coming to. You and Little-Lady- Prissy-pants are coming too, got it Lady Bits?" Sera asked.
"Wait, Sera i-!"
"Great, we'll get you two at seven o'clock, be ready!" Sera said, disconnecting the call.
Lyra stared at the phone for a few moments.
"Crazy called?" Josephine asked, setting down Lyra's coffee.
"Dorian gave her sugar, again, I just know it. He loves watching her on a rush." Lyra growled.
Josephine laughed at the thought.
"So, looks like we have plans tomorrow." Lyra sighed, flicking away her cigarette butt.
"It would seem so." Josephine answered.
Something kept telling Lyra this was the calm before the storm, and that this sugar induced outing was going to lead them to some very strange placed. Although, this is a story, so why on earth would the protagonist listen to their gut instincts and do what their supposed to do when they get a sinking feeling?
First chapter! What did you think? a little different. Pardon my spelling btw, I know some things may be slightly or completely wrong. XD No spell check on wordpad!
Review! Critisism welcome!
-Flower
