Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers, or anything related to them. Neither do I own a restaurant. I also do not own any Scottish folk songs. To my knowledge, there is no actual Avengers Bar and Grill, probably for good reason.

Summary: Ale, Mead, whatever you need, it's here at Avengers Bar! Or, if the Avengers were to try to open a restaurant, it would probably go something like this...

Note: This work can be read as a series of limericks, or if desired, it can be sung to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"

Welcome to the Avengers Bar and Grill!

(All)

It started after the chitauri.

The restaurants open, well... nil.

The team, in need of some shawarma,

started Avengers Bar and Grill.

Please come in…

(Thor)

The greeter is overly friendly.

His cape is a fashion faux pas.

The customers can't understand him,

and answer his bellows with "Huh?!"

Have a drink…

(Tony)

The bartenders' rude but has talent.

His drinks are as strong as Fe (Iron).

He'll drink you right under the table,

then charge you a big hefty fee!

Place an order…

(Natasha)

The Waitress seems likely to kill you

without even dropping her tray.

If you don't intend to tip nicely,

you're better off staying away!

Enjoy the food...

(Bruce)

Some food got sent back to the kitchen.

The chef looks a little bit green.

He ripped off his clothes in his anger,

and put on a show quite obscene!

Excellent service…

(Steve)

The Busboy got locked in the freezer.

They only just found him last year.

Culture-wise, he's not the sharpest,

but wow has he got a nice rear!

The show after dinner…

(Clint)

The house entertainer's called Hawkeye,

the resident expert at darts.

He drops in whenever he feels like,

and leaves when the game boards in parts.

Want to see the manager!?

(Phil)

The managers showed up dressed nicely,

with nary a wrinkle to show.

He ain't been seen since the bar opened.

What happened to him… we don't know!

Authors note: Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think! I may write a fan fiction where the Avengers actually do open a restaurant at a later date, I haven't decided yet.