A/N: Just a little story with my views on some pairings, enjoy!
We now return to the press conference with Artemis Fowl and his fans. Here comes Holly Short.
"Ahem, fans. Especially fangirls, I would like to clear a few things up here-" Artemis started.
"SQUEEEE!!! Artemis and Holly are sooooo cute together!!!" a random fangirl screamed. Agreements rang out through the assembly. Holly fingered her Neutrino.
"That is the reason why we are here. We must get this straight. Holly and I are friends nothing more."
"And never will be," added Holly.
"ArtyHolly forever!!!" Screamed another fangirl. Holly's eye twitched. Artemis rubbed his temples.
"No. No, 'ArtyHolly'. How can we get this simple concept through you thick craniums?" Artemis asked exasperated.
"Have you guys ever made out?!" , screamed yet another one. Artemis shuddered.
"NO!!! What in your D'arviting mind would make you think that?!" Holly yelled back. One fangirl politely raised her hand.
"Yes?" , Artemis asked, happy that there was some order.
"Have you guys ever made it to third ba-" Holly jumped up onto the table and unholstered her Nuetrino in one fluid movement.
"Don't. Finish. That. Sentence." Holly said with gritted teeth, "Now anyone who supports Artemis/Holly raise your hand." The whole assembly raised their hand. Holly shot one shot over a fangirl's hand, almost skimming the tip of the middle finger. All hands shot down. "NOW who supports Artemis/Holly?" no hands, "That's what I thought."
"I suppose that this conference is over. Girls, you may leave." The heartbroken ex-fangirls got out of their seats and left. Artemis sighed.
"THAT was a total fiasco." Holly commented and hopped off the table. She headed for a side exit door, "Artemis, coming?"
"Sadly, no. I have more conferences."
"What for?"
"Artemis/Juliet, Artemis/Opal, oh and my personal favorite Artemis/Butler," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm at the last bit.
"Eww. Man, do you have it rough. Good luck with that!" she said and quickly scooted out the door.
"No, wait Holly-" he called after her. No use. He was talking to an empty room. The door in front opened and the next group of fangirls started to pour in, "I might need you gun…" he muttered to himself. As he faced the crowd he glimpsed a girl wearing a shirt with a picture that looked remotely like Artemis and Butler…Artemis gagged, "Oh God…"
