In an office sat two men. Between them stood a beautiful mahogany desk covered with black folders. Sitting behind the desk was an immaculately dressed man in a grey three-piece suit. He looked at the man opposite him and then down at his watch, "anytime now" he said drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.

The other occupant startled awake and fell back on the chair. "Ow" he moaned standing up and holding his lower back. He then looked around, "wha-where the hell am I!" he shouted in confusion.

"Please, calm down Hassan, may I call you Hassan?" asked the man in grey. The other man, Hassan, nodded. "Fantastic!" he said reaching out his hand which Hassan grasped, "it is a pleasure to meet you."

"Yea, whatever you say mate" Hassan responded while picking up his chair and setting it in front of the desk. He smoothened the lapel of his navy coat and sat down while adjusting his tie. "Sorry, I didn't get your name."

"That's because I didn't tell you. Now, I happen to be a firm believer in equality between business partners-that is what we are now. So I am powerful, higher dimensional being. I've been called a multitude of names over the many millennia I've live, but my favourite would have to be Archeon. What you see here before you," he said gesturing to his body "is merely a meat sack that I have donned in order to prevent you from falling into the abyss of insanity. Also, I've kidnapped you."

Hassan massaged his temples "look, you have obviously got some problems and I'm sure I can help you find some mental health support. So why don't-"

"I am not mentally unstable. I was telling you the truth. I can see that you do not believe me when I say that, so may this will help," he said raising his hand. "Look at the palm of my hand carefully." There was a green spark above his hand which slowly grew into a flame. It twisted into a tornado and then morphed into a tiger and then a unicorn. The unicorn pranced around the office before coming to a rest on Archeon's shoulder. "Have I proved myself sufficiently?"

"Uh...yea, I mean yes, yes you have. Just one question, one teeny tiny question," he said almost pinching his fingers. "Why have you kidnapped me?"

"Well as I understand, you have read fan-fiction before, correct?" he asked and Hassan nodded. "And have you read fan-fictions with self-inserts?" again, Hassan nodded. "Well so have I and I adore all the amazing ideas that your little minds conjure up. In fact I've recently read through many with a focus on the self-inserts and I decided that I wanted to have a go at it. I want to be a ROB(Randomly Omnipotent Being). Now, I do admit that I'm not omnipotent, but I am nigh omnipotent. Now seeing as I'm going to be the ROB, would you like to hazard a guess to what you will be?"

Hassan sucked air through his teeth, "Please say that you kidnapped me to be your personal assistant and to help you keep on top of all the idiots you throw into different fandoms."

Archeon laughed revealing his brilliant, white teeth. "Nice try, but no. You will be the idiot I'm throwing into random universes. However do not fear, I will provide you with some support in the form of a superpower. Now if you'd look at these documents," he said gesturing to the 12 black folders on his desk, "these are your options. You may only pick one and I will expect your reasoning." He folded his arms and allowed Hassan to peruse the folders.

The folders were each about a different power and were labelled in large and bold, white letters. They were called Chi, Liquification, Healing, Animal Imitation, Precognition, Phasing, Power Absorption, Force-Field Generation, Shapeshifting, Telepathy and Phoenix Mimicry.

The ability of Chi would grant Hassan enhanced physical attributes, energy blasts and manipulation of the elements. Liquification, as the name implied allowed the user to self-liquefy themselves into water. Healing was the ability to heal others from diseases to re-growing limbs and also allowed for cellular activation. Animal Imitation granted one the ability to imitate the characteristics of an animal (without transforming into the animal), which at the higher levels made it possible to imitate multiple animals simultaneously.

Precognition gave its users the ability to see into the possible futures to observe what may happen, though the amount of possible futures that can be seen and how far into the future one can look varies. Phasing allows for a range of abilities from being intangible to walking on air and water. Power Absorption grants its users the ability to absorb the powers of others (but not their skills) and does not grant powers itself.

Force-Field Generation would allow its users to project force-fields in a variety of shapes, create armour (through covering their body in a force-field) and also limited flight via projecting a force-field beneath their feet and levitating it. Shapeshifting would allow the user to reshape their body in order to impersonate others, turn into animals and make their body stronger. Telepathy is the ability to project, read and manipulate thoughts. Phoenix Mimicry grants its user the ability to become a Phoenix, manipulate fire and regeneration.

"Umm...how long do I have to decide?" asked Hassan twisting his ring on his finger.

"We have all the time in the world, but I would prefer that you make a choice within the next 30 minutes" answered Archeon.

"Right" he said chewing his lip. "I'm assuming that I won't receive much time to adjust or learn how to use my powers, right?" A didn't respond so Hassan continued, "I figure I'll need an ability that isn't overly complex to use so chi is out of the question. Well that and I don't see it giving me any instant power up that will increase my chances of survival. Really I think the best option would be the Phoenix Mimicry."

"I don't suppose that pesky fear of mortality you mortals all seem to have has anything to do with your choice does it" commented Archeon with a smile.

"Obviously the immortality aspect is a huge benefit, like I am human and I do fear death. But it also grants me an instant boost passively without me trying. I mean enhanced strength and agility are so cool without considering the ability to become one of the most amazing mythical creatures in all creation." said Hassan with a grin.

Archeon took out a cigarette, lit it and then took a long drag from it. He interlocked his hands and slowly blew out the smoke while looking at Hassan. "Ok, you have convinced me well enough. Please enjoy your trip and I hope we don't see each other for some time," a blue portal opened up beneath Hassan and he fell through it.

Hassan screamed quite like a young girl that had just had her hair pulled as he gripped the arms of his chair. He was spinning like he was in a gyroscope as he fell through a seemingly endless blue tunnel that was streaked with purple. After what seemed like forever, he reached the end of the tunnel and fell out smashing the chair beneath him.

He landed in a beautiful forest. Rays of sunlight shone down through the gaps in the trees. Hassan had fallen so that his neck slammed onto a particularly thick tree root. He groaned in pain as he held his neck, "Bloody hell! That fricking kills." He reached down to scratch his stomach and then moved to brush his hair with his fingers. He stopped as red entered his sight.

He held his blood soaked fingers in front of his eyes for a few seconds. He gave his finger a tentative lick and then spat several times, "Yup, that is definitely blood". He gritted his teeth and tilted it forward to get a look at his stomach. He groaned and pushed on his forearms to see a jagged shard of wood piercing his abdomen. It was like he'd been attacked by a sadistic, amateur vampire hunter.

He poked at it in wonderment, "Have I lost my ability to feel pain? No, it just isn't possible that I could be so lucky. Hmm, let's see" he said taking a notebook and pen out of his jacket pocket. He starter scribbling on it while he talked to himself, "I am in a life-threatening position. So I suppose that I'm either in shock or that I've an adrenaline rush, either way it doesn't matter. Although I suppose that my powers somehow prevent me from feeling pain, which will likely be..." he trailed off and stared at the notebook intently.

After what seemed like an eternity, he escaped the depths of his mind and smacked his head with the notebook, repeatedly. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm a bloody creature from mythology, I have the ability to regenerate and I'm just leaving this inside me like I want to be impaled by a long, hard shaft."

He moved to his hand and knees with great difficulty and crawled until he could rest his forehead against a tree. He reached toward the stake with trembling hands and grasped it. He screamed as he pulled it out, tears streamed down his face. He dropped it with a thunk and collapsed on the ground. His forehead was imprinted with the pattern of bark. Glistening steaks paved a path down his cheeks. Blood flowed out of his wound to make a puddle below him.

Then Hassan felt a stinging sensation in his abdomen and looked down to see his wound burst into flame, which quickly moved to his shirt. He threw off his jacket and shirt, and then cracked his nails throwing dirt on the flaming shirt and smoking jacket. By the time the fire died out, his shirt had already became a blackish-yellow rag. Then he seemed to remember his wound and looked down to see smooth flesh without a trace of hair or even the tiniest spark. He trailed his fingers over it.

"This is so freakin cool!" he exclaimed and then he slung his jacket over his shoulders and left it open. He bent over to dig a hole using one of the pieces from the broken chair to do so. Once he had a decent size hole, he threw in and buried the shirt along with the bloody chair piece. Next he kicked some dirt onto the bloodstains by the tree, "Shit, I could've just kicked the dirt instead of doing this to my hands" he moaned staring at his hands.

A bush rustled behind him and spun around. After a few moments he relaxed and just as he was about to turn, a grey blur shot out at him.