Hello! This is my first Agents of SHIELD fic, and I wrote it for the Philinda AU Muse Challenge. I hope you enjoy it! =)
"Love is in the Air! Scoop on All of Your Favorite TV Couples, Right Here!"
Why did they have to use that picture? Phil thought to himself. Of all the shows to pick…
"Isn't this great?" his assistant Skye said, leaning forward. "They're literally the hottest couple on television right now. Last week they had no less than three trending topics dedicated to them on Twitter, and apparently Tumblr is in utter chaos." She blushed. "Not that I keep up with that stuff, of course."
"Yeah, it's wonderful," replied Phil half-heartedly, giving Skye back her phone. And in a way, it was. Having one of the most-talked about couples on television could only benefit the show, and he was pleased about that. He was.
He just wished it involved different characters.
"And the fact that you've got their engagement planned for the end of the season is perfect," Skye continued, completely unaware of her boss's detached demeanor. "Fans will go wild."
"Yes, good." Phil eyed his laptop, which was open to a half-completed episode. The episode, in fact. The one with the aforementioned engagement. His stomach twisted at the thought.
It's only a show, he chanted in his head. It's only a show.
He looked up to find Skye staring at him. Her expression hinted he had missed something.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I asked how that scene was coming. The big proposal. Does he get on one knee? Or is it in the middle of a life-or-death situation? You know, one of those 'If we make it out alive, will you marry me?' type of deals. Every spy show needs one of those moments."
"Does it now?"
Skye cocked her head, and her eyes narrowed. "Okay, what's wrong?"
"What makes you think something is wrong?" Phil countered, reaching forward to fiddle with the framed cast photo he had on his desk. Out of habit, his eyes flitted to her, his leading lady. God, she looked so beautiful.
"You weren't listening to me earlier, you just answered a question with a question, all of that." Skye leaned forward some more, which Phil doubted was really possible considering how far off the chair she already was. "Spill."
"Don't you have something to do?" he countered, tearing his gaze away from the photo. Skye raised her eyebrows.
"That's four questions in a row. Something is really up."
Phil sighed. Skye wouldn't let up unless he told her, as he had learned from experience.
"Writer's block," he said after a moment. It wasn't a complete lie. He was struggling to get the scene out, though it was mainly due to his tendency to end the scene with the male lead's death.
Skye seemed unconvinced, but was considerate enough to play along. "Makes sense. Big scene and all, don't want to screw it up."
"You said it yourself, a lot of people have high hopes for it."
"Uh huh." Skye glanced around Phil's office, eyeing the Emmy that stood on a shelf. He had gotten that just last year, when the entertainment world discovered what a gem their show was. It had been the proudest moment of his career, standing in front of his peers, thanking his mom and dad, trying not to stare too hard at her, who had looked so gorgeous in her dress…
"Something wrong?" asked Phil, catching Skye's tone. She bit her lip, then shrugged.
"Just… I've never really seen you get hit with writer's block."
"Everyone gets it."
She shrugged again. "Yeah, but you're not everyone. And with a scene like this…"
"It's just taking longer than I thought to plan out," Phil lied. That sounded lame even to him.
"Uh huh," she said again. She hesitated before adding, "Does this have anything to do with the fact that you are head over heels in love with Melinda?"
If Phil had been drinking something, he would have spit it out all over his desk. As it was, his mouth fell open, and his eyes widened to comical levels.
"Wha- what? Why would you say that? Why would you think that?"
Skye burst out laughing at the sight of her normally unflappable boss sputtering like an idiot. "Whoa, calm down there. No need to spazz out, I've got your back. I won't tell anyone."
Phil opened his mouth to reply, then shut it. He chose his words carefully when he actually did respond.
"I'm not in love with Melinda," he said slowly. Liar.
"Phil," Skye said. "Come on. You should have seen the look on your face when I showed you that TVLine article."
Phil's heart sank at the reminder. The photo had been of Melinda May, the show's female lead, and her co-star Andrew Garner, who also happened to be her romantic interest. It was a relatively simple picture of the two of them, nothing dramatic. Andrew had his arms around Melinda's waist, and she was smiling up at him like he was the sun. (Oh how Phil loved her smile.)
It could have been worse. They could've been kissing. Or it could have been the one from last season's finale, when Andrew's character Thomas had gotten shot, and Jessica, Melinda's alter ego, had her forehead pressed to his with a fierce look in her eyes. (Phil could even remember the line she said: "You are not dying on me, you're not allowed to. Don't you dare.")
Or it could have been the infamous one of the morning after their first time that blew up the Internet. Melinda, (Jessica, he reminded himself) wearing only Andrew's (Thomas's) dress shirt and panties, giving him the most brilliant smirk ever mastered by an actress. (That look did things to Phil he tried not to think about at work.)
Yeah, it could have been a lot worse. But that didn't mean the picture they chose didn't hurt like hell.
"It doesn't matter," Phil said, pulling away from his thoughts. "I'm a professional, I can separate the outside world from the show."
Skye gave him a look, one that said yeah, okay. "Then write the proposal scene."
INT. HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
JESSICA is seated at her desk, clearly wiped. Trying to wrap her head around everything that has happened. She looks so broken, so alone.
But of course, she is not alone. THOMAS enters, sees her sitting. His heart breaks at the look of utter defeat on her face. He approaches her desk.
THOMAS
Hey, you.
JESSICA
Hi.
Phil's cursor blinked from its position at the end of Jess's first line. He had started and restarted the scene countless times, but for the life of him could not get past those first two pieces of dialogue.
He knew how the scene was to play out: Jessica and Thomas's latest mission had ended badly, with the death of a beloved colleague (the actor's contract expired and he wanted to move on to films). Jessica had been quite close with him, and as such was taking his death very hard. Thomas, worried about his girlfriend, would try to comfort her, but she would attempt to rebuff him. Eventually she would break down and confess that she didn't want to lose him, that she couldn't lose him, and he would promise she wouldn't. And then he would take her hands in his and say those two stupid words and blah blah blah.
Marry me. That was how the season would end. Phil already knew Melinda would play the scene brilliantly, and that her breaking down would absolutely crush him. But he also knew that her acceptance of Thomas's proposal at the start of the next season would crush him more.
"Dammit!" he yelled, his frustration getting the best of him. He slammed his laptop shut and shoved it away. It slid to the edge of the desk, but thankfully did not fall off.
"Whoa," a familiar voice said from the doorway. "What did that laptop ever do to you?"
Her tone was gentle and teasing, but Phil could hear the undercurrent of worry. He winced and looked up at Melinda. She was leaning against his doorframe, still in her costume from the day's scene. The tight leather suited her well, he had to say.
"Writer's block," he said, parroting the excuse he gave to Skye earlier. Melinda nodded.
"So is this a bad time? I can come back later."
"No, no, it's fine," he said, trying not to sound too eager. "I need a break anyway."
Melinda offered him a small smile as she stepped further into the room, taking the seat in front of his desk. She took off her black jacket, revealing a simple black tank top underneath.
"The soundstage was so hot today," she stated, hanging the jacket on the back of the chair. "I must've gone through ten water bottles."
"You had a fight sequence too, right?"
"That I did," she said with a nod. "Made it worse." She fixed her gaze on him, sending a little shiver down his spine. "I was surprised you didn't come visit."
Phil swallowed. "I had a lot of work to do, couldn't spare the time." He tried to make his tone nonchalant. If he was going to write the damn proposal scene (and then the engagement period next season, and the wedding, and then them actually being married, and maybe he should find a new show to write for), he needed to remove himself and get over her. Watching her every day would not help that.
"I see," Melinda said. Phil convinced himself that he wasn't hearing disappointment in her voice.
"How did it go?" he asked.
"Fine. My double did some of the really tricky moves, but I managed most of it myself. It gets tiring after a while though."
"I can imagine."
Silence reigned in the office while Melinda stared at him. He fidgeted slightly under her gaze.
"You're writing the finale now, right?" she asked finally.
Phil nodded. "It's basically done. Well, the first draft at least."
"Have you done the engagement scene yet?"
Phil's stomach dropped. "That's what I'm on now."
Silence, and then, "Skye told me Andrew and I were the picture for TVLine's couple's article."
Phil didn't know why she was bringing that up, but he nodded anyway. "She was very excited about that."
"It's good for the show."
"Yep."
They were both quiet for a moment.
"Phil…"
"Yes?"
Melinda opened her mouth, and then shut it. She stood up abruptly, causing her jacket to fall off the chair.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I should just go."
Phil was up in an instant. "Wait."
Melinda froze halfway to the door, jacket in hand.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
Melinda schooled her face into the mask she preserved for interviews and premieres. The unshakable actress, beloved by many. Beloved by Phil.
"Nothing. I just came to say hi, and I did, so I'm going to go." She held up her jacket. "Gotta get this back to costume."
"Mel," he said, pulling out the nickname he only used when they were alone like this. "Talk to me."
The mask slipped, and Phil could see the vulnerability underneath. "Skye… Skye said you were upset about something, and I wondered if it was the picture."
Oh, Phil was so going to fire Skye. Well, not really of course, but he would definitely tell her he would.
"Why would that picture upset me? I've seen it before. Hell, I've seen you guys do worse."
Phil saw a flash of hurt cross Melinda's face before she smoothed her features again. "Right. I don't know why I thought that. Good night, Phil."
She left, and Phil immediately cursed himself. Idiot! What was wrong with him?
For the rest of the season, Phil and Melinda avoided each other. Or, they did when they could. Phil being showrunner meant he had to talk to the stars frequently, so he couldn't ignore her completely (not that he wanted to). However, they kept their talks to strictly professional matters, like how she should say a line, or if something would carry significance into the next season. Besides that, they didn't speak.
Skye noticed first, since she worked so close to Phil. The rest of the cast and crew picked up on it soon after. Phil and Melinda together were such an integral part of the show that seeing them apart caused the whole production to feel off. There was an awkward feeling in the air, like all the warmth had disappeared.
Before long, the final day of production for the season came. The dreaded scene. Normally, they didn't shoot in chronological order, but somehow the last scene managed to coincide with the last day. Only essential crew members were allowed on set, and the only cast members needed were Melinda and Andrew. Everyone else wrapped the day before.
Phil really didn't want to be present, but the network wanted everything to be perfect. They were the highest rated show, and they brought in Emmy gold. He needed to be there to make sure everything went off without a hitch.
That meant he had to sit and watch Melinda break down in Andrew's arms several times over. His heart clenched every single time a tear escaped her eyes. She was such an incredible actress. Phil had no idea how she could cry on command so many consecutive times. He wanted to hold her every take, but Andrew was here instead, stroking her hair and whispering sweet nothings.
It's just a show it's just a show, Phil thought.
"I just can't lose you," Melinda whispered, staring up at Andrew. The set was dead silent. Even a single breath from a crew member could screw it up. Phil resisted the urge to cough.
"You won't." Andrew pushed a stray hair off Melinda's face, hooking it around her ear.
"But you can't promise that. None of us can. That's the job."
"You're right. But I can promise you this." He took her hands within hers and stared into her eyes. "I will do everything in my power to never leave your side. I'll be with you until the very end. You won't lose me any sooner."
Melinda furrowed her eyebrows, eyes still shining with tears. "Tom, what are you saying?"
A tiny smile played on Andrew's face. "I'm saying I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He squeezed her hands. "Marry me, Jess."
Melinda let Jess's emotions cross her face. Bewilderment, awe, fear, love, happiness, all of it. It was a private moment between two lovers. Phil felt sick.
"Cut!" their director called. Melinda dropped Andrew's hands and wiped her face, clearing off the excess tears. Everyone applauded, and she gave a little smile. Andrew patted her on the back.
"Great job you two," the director continued. "I think that's all we need. We're wrapped, season three!"
Everyone cheered and hugged one another, euphoria filling the air. Phil accepted several handshakes and back slaps, a genuine smile crossing his face. For all the pain this episode brought, he couldn't have been prouder.
Through the moving bodies, Phil spotted Melinda exiting the room. He took a half-step forward, only to stop himself. No. He had to move on.
"What are you doing?" Skye said, appearing at his side. "Go after her!"
"What?" He turned to look at his assistant. She pursed her lips.
"You two have been avoiding each other for weeks. It's gotta stop." She placed her hands on his shoulders. "We're on hiatus now. Take the time to figure your shit out. You'll regret it if you don't."
Phil knew he should object. He should stay professional, ignore his feelings and get on with his life. Getting involved with his star could only end badly for the show, and he couldn't risk it. And she might not even feel the same way…
Phil kissed Skye on the cheek and darted out of the room. There was no one in the hallway, so he sprinted out of the building and headed towards her trailer. He could see the light was on, confirming his suspicions. Stopping himself right in front of the door, he paused to catch his breath before knocking.
Nothing happened for a moment, and Phil wondered if she just accidentally left her light on earlier. Then her door cracked open, and she was right there in front of him.
"What are you doing here? I thought we wrapped."
Phil swallowed. "The picture did upset me."
Melinda blinked. "What?"
"The picture of you and Andrew from the couple's article. It did upset me." He took a step forward, placing his foot on the bottom step of her trailer. "Every scene with you and Andrew upsets me. I know it's all pretend, I know you're acting, but you're such an amazing actress that I forget. And all I see is you in his arms, and you saying you love him, and it kills me." He brought his other foot up so he was standing fully on the bottom step. She was still above him though, so he had to tilt his head upward.
"Writing that proposal scene was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to write because a part of me felt like once I ended it, I would have lost you for good. Which is stupid, because you're playing a character, but… still."
Melinda was watching him with wide eyes. Phil realized he hadn't really planned past the confession, and now he felt very self-conscious.
"The point is, I really care for you, Melinda May. I might even love you. And I couldn't go on hiatus without telling you. So. Yeah."
Melinda still hadn't said a word, or even acknowledged what he said. He smiled weakly and turned away. He made it several paces away from the trailer when he heard the door slam shut. His heart ached, but he kept walking.
A hand wrapped around his wrist, and he found himself being spun around. Melinda reached up with her free hand and cupped the back of his head, bringing his lips to hers. He gripped her waist and pulled her closer. He could feel her smile through the kiss.
"I might even love you too, Phil Coulson," she said when they separated.
"Oh, thank God," he sighed. She giggled.
"Got anything planned the next few weeks?" she asked, playing with the collar of his shirt. He kissed her once more, just for the thrill of it.
"Well, I think it's time I get reacquainted with you, don't you think?"
Melinda smiled broadly. "Yes, I do."
