Toshiro sighed as he stared down at the half finished document laying before him on his desk. He had decided to stay late in the office once again to chip away at the large load of paperwork work he had received that week for the third night in a row. It hadn't helped that he had agreed to take on some extra work from other divisions as well and while Rangiku actually did a little bit of work this time, it still hadn't been as much as it probably should of been.
The small captain shouldered the brunt of the work as he always did. It had become something most expected from him, even himself, but the truth is while most of the time he was fine with doing the work, sometimes it could be quite a burden. Weighing him down greatly especially on late nights like this when everything was dead silent except for the sound of his pen scratching against paper and the sound of himself breathing.
In that moment it all grew to be too much for the young shinigami, tired thoughts and worries swirling around in his head like a maelstrom and he abruptly dropped his pen as he got to his feet and strode over to the window. Opening it wide and taking a moment to breathe in the fresh, crisp and cool night air before disappearing as he used shunpo. Appearing on a rooftop in the distance and disappearing again as he made his way to the edge of the Seireitei and towards the mountains of the Rukongai beyond that.
It didn't take Toshiro that long to reach his destination and once he did, he paused at the edge of the small field of pink, white, peach, blue coloured mountain flowers. Just staring at the pretty flowers that only grew in these mountains as far as he knew, then slowly picking his way into the middle of the field where he proceeded to lay down and look at the stars far above him. This was his special spot, the place he sometimes escaped to late at night when he needed to get away from all his stress and forget for a little while about his troubles that plagued him. A place he had discovered by following his former captain out to the very same spot to scold him when he thought the man was avoiding work…
He could remember that night clearly as if it were yesterday. How he had attempted to hide behind a tree at first and spy on the dark haired man to see what he was doing there. That hadn't lasted long though as it wasn't long before he was called out upon by Isshin and when he came out of hiding to chide the captain for skipping out when so much work had to be done, he found himself being told to lay down next to him. The older man soon chattering away to his third-seat about things concerning astronomy probably in an attempt to distract the boy.
It worked as soon Toshiro had completely forgotten about his original intentions for following Isshin out there and found himself getting caught up in the conversation and asking many questions about the stars above them. Finding what he was learning about them to be absolutely fascinating and there was a look of captivation on his face as he listened to the older shinigami speak. He wanted to know all he could about the night sky above them and the wonders that it held. Eventually falling asleep among the flowers and when he woke up the next morning, he had somehow been transported back to his quarters in the squad 10 barracks all tucked away into bed.
It hadn't been terribly long after that night that his captain had disappeared in the World of the Living, leaving Toshiro and Rangiku to find their own ways to go on without him. He remembered having returned to that field of flowers the night after they had received the news about their captain. Standing still in the middle of the field under that starry sky he had been so keen to learn about. It had hurt him knowing that his captain whom had been a sort of father figure to him was now gone and that it was likely he would never see him again. It made the memory of that night, that moment they shared feel painful and clear, salty tears had dripped onto the flowers of the field that night as he allowed himself a moment to give into the pain he felt inside.
Highly capable and knowledgeable, it wasn't long before the young shinigami rose to the rank of captain and he took on more responsibility than he had ever had before. On the surface it appeared he was handling his new duties rather well, but on the inside he felt stressed out and pressured. Knowing that because of his young age and his known high intelligence and new rank as a captain, great things would be expected of him. People expected him to excel and be innovative like the prodigy he was hailed to be.
So that was exactly what he did. The new captain worked his hardest, only putting his best effort into everything to prove to everyone that he was more than capable of doing the duties that came along with the position that he had been given. He was sure that there was people out there that doubted him even if they didn't say it to his face. It was only natural to question if someone so young was actually truly capable of being a captain.
That was a lot of pressure and weight to carry around every day and night Toshiro worked tirelessly around the clock to prove himself. Lesser souls would of probably buckled under the pressure but not him. No, he was determined to be the best leader he could be no matter what so that he would be able to protect the ones he cared about… So that he wouldn't have to lose someone like he had lost Isshin again.
One night it grew to be too much though and Toshiro, feeling overwhelmed, had run out of the office where he had stayed way past the time everyone else had left to work yet again. He didn't know where he was going exactly, but he felt a need to escape and before he knew it he found himself at that field of flowers again.
At first he had just stared at the flowers, unsure if he should stay or just turn around and return to the office and his work. The thought of going back at that moment was unbearable though and after several minutes of deliberation, the young captain stepped forwards into the field of flowers and laid down in the middle much like he had done once with Isshin so long ago. For the longest time just staring at the night sky before realizing that he was silently mouthing the names of the stars that he saw and he stopped for a moment. The memories of that night flooding over him again.
Instead of crying like he had the last time though, a small smile made its way onto his face and he allowed himself to slowly relax as he continued to whisper the names of the stars that he still remembered to himself again. Continuing to do so amongst the quiet buzz of the night world around him until he was eventually lulled to sleep. Only waking up the next day when the sun's rays peeked over the horizon to light up the world again and the stars had faded from view.
Ever since then he would often visit the field always alone at night when he felt like the stress was getting too much and just lay there as he listed off the names of the stars he remembered and the names of new ones he had discovered from reading books about astronomy. Often falling asleep though occasionally he would remember to pick himself up and head back home, though only when the night turned too cold even for him or it rained unexpectedly. That night with Isshin so long ago now pleasant yet sad at the same time, bitter-sweet you could say.
"Canis Major..." He whispered to himself as he stared skyward. Already feeling more relaxed than he had minutes beforehand. Taking slow and calming deep breathes as he breathed in the sweet aroma of the flowers around him and listened to the sound of crickets chirping all around him. "Named stars... Aludra 'maidenhead', Furud 'apes', ADARA 'maidens', Wezen 'weight', Muliphen 'star to swear by', Murzim 'the roarer', and Sirius..… 'scorching'...… the brightest star in the sky after the sun…."
Slowly, without him even realizing it, Toshiro's eyes slid shut as he spoke. A soft sigh escaping him as the last word escaped passed his lips and his mind slipped away into the warm folds of sleep. The tedious piles of work, his worries, and the stress that usually held him forgotten as he slept peacefully underneath the stars in the field of flowers.
